AAftercare

[joycake]

I just want to report, as much as meetings and other kinds of support are advocated around here, I am currently in the parking lot of one and I have to say, there have not been many moments where I had a stronger craving for something to take the edge off. I am so anxious about meeting all the eyes in there that I don't even know if I can go in. And every time I go it's like this, it doesn't get any easier. Actually I think it might get harder; one of the reasons I'm so wary is because of the possibility of running into people I know, more than an anxiety around strangers.

[NeverAgain127]

Aww..honey, I know how you feel.   You're a very smart woman and I think sometimes when an addict is very bright it can work against their recovery.   They think too much.

The meetings work.   You're supposed to feel anxiety going into them.   Everyone does, and it WILL go away once you start to work the program.   Try to trust what everyone is saying here...just go thru the motions of what your intelligent self KNOWS is the right things to do.  Or as one of my sponsors likes to say "Just sit down, shut up, and listen....then do it again.  And again, etc."

This is a complicated disease.  Cunning, baffling, powerful.  Those aren't just cliche 12-step words...they're so, so, SO true.  

Walk in the door, and stay for the whole meeting...you know you won't be taking any drugs in that room, that's for sure.  And if you feel a gnawing craving after the meeting is over, talk to someone. Find an old timer and tell them.  Go to another meeting...I know people who go to 4-5 meetings a day.  

You can do this.   You have a bright, wonderful brain...and when you're healed and deep into your quit, you will contribute a ton to this world...I can just feel it.

Godspeed little one..
Hugs,
-Robin

[ang_811]

Don't let the fear keep u in a place u don't want to be. I remember trembling b4 each meeting. I don't anymore. It does get easier.

[dominosarah]

When we step out of our comfort zone progress begins.  We spent way too much time in that so called zone.  This is about you now.  Take every opportunity you are given with your recovery and spread your wings~

[gnarly_1]

Hi Joy  well every body is apprehensive on the first meeting it is a normal feeling ...just know it goes away and you will feel right at home if you push threw the anxiety this will really help your recovery I know it does mine these meetings are a critical step into recovery......Gnarly

[motye51]

I have to 2nd what jfmoc said....the people in those mtgs are there to help themselves stay clean. I couldnt help but laugh when i read your post b/c i can remember sitting in the parking lot of our local mtg house typing on medhelp that i was worried about going in. So, your not alone in that aspect! It is uncomfortable, nerve racking, i DID run into people i knew (customers of mine!!!) and they were there for the exact same reason as me. I promise, you wont stay fearful....fear is what drives us....dont let it! Do something different.....take a chance!

[theWholeTruth]

You can do it.  I thought I was such a tough guy for going to meetings but guess what?  I was still using when I went.  I might not have looked high but I was.  I didn't care who I saw there.  My point is that you are much stronger than I was because you are sober and you are doing it for all the wrong reasons.  If you see someone you know just realize that they are there for their issues, not yours.  To echo the other posters, the people in the meetings are worried about themselves and focused on getting help.  To take the edge off I'd suggest working out before a meeting, meditating, or do breathing exercises.  I promise it will get easier.  Good luck!

[BraneGame]

Your one better than me. I have only gotten as far as looking up where and when the meetings take place near me. I can so relate how hard this is for you. I hope to have the courage this week to get myself to a meeting too. Good luck to you, you are stronger than you think.

[jifmoc]

P.S.- a little add on to what Krissy wrote: you know how right now all you can think about it yourself? Your feelings? Your appearance? That is what's on everyone else minds in the rooms, too. No one will be thinking about you, they are thinking about themselves.

[jifmoc]

Joy, I know you've had a rough road. As much as I despise little sayings, they always turn out to be true. In this case your disease or your addiction is shouting at you to run. It wants you to get a needle and kill yourself. That's why doing the opposite feels so uncomfortable. As smart as you are, your disease is smarter. And more persistent.

You don't think it will get easier because you haven't gone constantly enough and you haven't done the work. How bout a simplification: don't go in, keep doing what you've been doing you will be on your way to using and death. Do what's uncomfortable: sanity, peace, and craving removal. Hey, there is a guidepost: if it feel horribly uncomfortable, you're doing the right thing!

[Krissy_123]

No one is going to stare at you or judge you. Plus if you see someone In there you know,then they are there for the same reason. So not going to judge you. Hanging on to that fear of people knowing will also only prolong your recovery. You're here now trying to fix your life,be proud of that! Don't hide it.