Aa
About to stop Adderall, again
Hello. I was first put on stimulant meds in 2008 because I kept feeling constantly so tired and fatigued. my doctor diagnosed me with fibromyalgia and prescribed Nuvugil for energy and to be able to stay awake. I got addicted to it pretty quickly and eventually began a series of cycles of taking it until it made me so sick I had tostop, deciding to get off it fit good and making it clean for a week or three weeks or a month or two months but still being so miserable that I'd go back on it. I finally decided the only way off it was too tell the doctor the exact truth and not tiny prescribe it for me ever again. While I was telling him all this he interrupted me by saying "that's ok, I've been wanting to try you in a different med anyway." I asked what and he said "Adderall." I asked what it was & he said it was a med for ADD but was used for other purposes also. I asked (suspiciously with alarm bells going off) what was in it. He said "a mixture of amphetamine salts."
I should have have the strength and sense to run like crazy when he said amphetamine. But I was so desperate to get off the couch and to feel decent and good that I agreed to take it, knowing exactly how dangerous it was probably going to be for me.
Of course,I got addicted to it. My psychiatrist prescribes it now, for the last three months (I've been on it in total probably nine months but over a one and a half year time span, with short gaps.
I have to get off it. It has made me so sick and its ruining my life. I am prescribed 30mg three times a day but I don't usually take all that. However I'll occasionally get really desperate to feel really hoid and take an extra one. I am having heart arrythmias, palpitations, chest pain and just today very mild edema. It makes me nauseated, jittery, edgy and I feel horrible when it wears off. I absolutely hate it. hate taking it. But I have tried so many times to stop taking stimulants and here I am, three years later, still taking one. My will power is useless in this situation. The way I feel not on stimulants is so incredibly horrible that I won't even try to describe it except to say that I didn't know before that a human being could tolerate such agony and pain and still live. I knew that sounds dramatic but I swear it is true and is not an exaggeration. There is something wrong with me that isn't just fibromyalgia but I haven't been accurately diagnosed yet, partly because I feel too bad to make a phone call for an appt, let alone get myself to one. if I take enough Adderall to get to an appt, then the doctor sees me acting basically normal energy and mood and thinks I am making up stories about the horror I experience every single day. (the worst is when I get up each day and for the first 4-5 hours) afterward.
I will have to get through withdrawal somehow. I do nt have the self control to taper properly. I used to have more self control but my husband abuses stimulants also and for the first two years that I was trying to quit, he was sabotaging me by putting pills out on my end table, etc. because he wanted me to use them also so he wouldn't feel so alone or so guilty himself. After failing so many times during those years, I think I both lost confidence it trust in myself plus the addiction has caused changes and damage in the part of my brain that controls impulses and behavior and judgment. I don't know how much is what, I just know that I have given my absolute utmost best effort to quitting many many times without success longer than 7 weeks and I am scared, demoralized, and terrified of the first few weeks off Adderall. On top of my regular symptoms, and on top of my major depression and anxiety disorder and my extreme fatigue state, the withdrawal is almost unbearable. in fact I guess it has been unbearable so far because every time I have ended up going back.
I have never posted in a site like this before. I have tried groups like NA and AA and I am a spiritual and religious person and have tried leaning on God and asking for His help and exercise and nutrition and supplements and therapy and everything else I can think of. I don't know if there even is hope f or me anymore but I am not giving up-I will never give up and just accept it.
I would appreciate so much any moral support or practical advice anyone can share.
Thanks
DagnyT
I should have have the strength and sense to run like crazy when he said amphetamine. But I was so desperate to get off the couch and to feel decent and good that I agreed to take it, knowing exactly how dangerous it was probably going to be for me.
Of course,I got addicted to it. My psychiatrist prescribes it now, for the last three months (I've been on it in total probably nine months but over a one and a half year time span, with short gaps.
I have to get off it. It has made me so sick and its ruining my life. I am prescribed 30mg three times a day but I don't usually take all that. However I'll occasionally get really desperate to feel really hoid and take an extra one. I am having heart arrythmias, palpitations, chest pain and just today very mild edema. It makes me nauseated, jittery, edgy and I feel horrible when it wears off. I absolutely hate it. hate taking it. But I have tried so many times to stop taking stimulants and here I am, three years later, still taking one. My will power is useless in this situation. The way I feel not on stimulants is so incredibly horrible that I won't even try to describe it except to say that I didn't know before that a human being could tolerate such agony and pain and still live. I knew that sounds dramatic but I swear it is true and is not an exaggeration. There is something wrong with me that isn't just fibromyalgia but I haven't been accurately diagnosed yet, partly because I feel too bad to make a phone call for an appt, let alone get myself to one. if I take enough Adderall to get to an appt, then the doctor sees me acting basically normal energy and mood and thinks I am making up stories about the horror I experience every single day. (the worst is when I get up each day and for the first 4-5 hours) afterward.
I will have to get through withdrawal somehow. I do nt have the self control to taper properly. I used to have more self control but my husband abuses stimulants also and for the first two years that I was trying to quit, he was sabotaging me by putting pills out on my end table, etc. because he wanted me to use them also so he wouldn't feel so alone or so guilty himself. After failing so many times during those years, I think I both lost confidence it trust in myself plus the addiction has caused changes and damage in the part of my brain that controls impulses and behavior and judgment. I don't know how much is what, I just know that I have given my absolute utmost best effort to quitting many many times without success longer than 7 weeks and I am scared, demoralized, and terrified of the first few weeks off Adderall. On top of my regular symptoms, and on top of my major depression and anxiety disorder and my extreme fatigue state, the withdrawal is almost unbearable. in fact I guess it has been unbearable so far because every time I have ended up going back.
I have never posted in a site like this before. I have tried groups like NA and AA and I am a spiritual and religious person and have tried leaning on God and asking for His help and exercise and nutrition and supplements and therapy and everything else I can think of. I don't know if there even is hope f or me anymore but I am not giving up-I will never give up and just accept it.
I would appreciate so much any moral support or practical advice anyone can share.
Thanks
DagnyT
I know this is a couple years late, but I'm telling you, the only thing that will work for you is if you commit yourself to an inpatient treatment center. Then the control is out of your hands and you don't have to worry about willpower. Treatment can help you ease through your withdrawal symptoms, get you fully checked out, body, mind, spirit, you'll have an accurate diagnosis, and you will gain valuable coping skills to deal with the cravings once you are back in the real world. Try to find a treatment center that is longer term. 4-5 months. These have the highest success rates for addicts. Best of luck.
Why do you say it ruined your life? I'm only curious because I'm detoxing from Vicodin right now and I'm still taking effexor for anxiety and adderrall for ADD. I've been through so much hell withdrawing from medications already and I don't want to add another to the list. I would just like to hear your story, if that's ok, to put things in to perspective because maybe I'll be able to stop it before it gets to a bad place.
Thanks.
Thanks.
I have so much personal experience w adderal. And it almost ruined my life. I was prescribed it while in college. And ended up taking the same Amt as u are. It makes u Crazy!! I'd be more than willing to help u through this It's rough. But I would never touch it again even if it were in my face now. Thank God for that!!
I just want to wish you the best of luck. One of my friends is on Adderall for
ADD. She has lost so much weight, she now wears a size 0. I know the reason she takes it, it makes her work like a demon. I have honestly seen her mowing the grass at 3 a.m. She does irrational things when she takes it.
She buys things that she can't afford. She will never quit taking it and I think it will eventually kill her.
ADD. She has lost so much weight, she now wears a size 0. I know the reason she takes it, it makes her work like a demon. I have honestly seen her mowing the grass at 3 a.m. She does irrational things when she takes it.
She buys things that she can't afford. She will never quit taking it and I think it will eventually kill her.
I also think you should call your dr about the edema. This type med isn't great on the heart when you take extra as I'm sure you know, and the edema is worrisome.
Sorry, didn't mean to hit post.
Well, the pain pills helped the pain, but also gave me about 6-8 days a month I felt like leaving home. Uh oh! Because before, I was pretty much bed bound from lack of energy, throwing up all the time, dizziness, fainting. So to leave the house, get to go to a movie or take my daughter somewhere was amazing.
Needless to say, I got hooked. I still had horrible days, but saw light.
I stopped them Jan 2nd.
Because even though they allowed me some good days, I needed one to get up.
My long point ( sorry) is that if you feel you are missing a diagnosis, you prob are. You know your body.
Make yourself go to your appts, and ask for a specialist. An internist might be a good place to start.
I realize off these pills I will be mostly house bound, but I finally get to go to that specialist out of state in September. A long way away, but I want my body free of mood altering substances so when they give me proper treatment, I can live life again. It's the only hope I have, and you must have hope.
So please don't accept the fibro dx if you don't feel it's right. You don't have to live this way. Tell your dr you want to see a specialist.
You might just find there's treatment for you, other than symptom care ( adderall).
Good luck. My heart broke reading your story.
Well, the pain pills helped the pain, but also gave me about 6-8 days a month I felt like leaving home. Uh oh! Because before, I was pretty much bed bound from lack of energy, throwing up all the time, dizziness, fainting. So to leave the house, get to go to a movie or take my daughter somewhere was amazing.
Needless to say, I got hooked. I still had horrible days, but saw light.
I stopped them Jan 2nd.
Because even though they allowed me some good days, I needed one to get up.
My long point ( sorry) is that if you feel you are missing a diagnosis, you prob are. You know your body.
Make yourself go to your appts, and ask for a specialist. An internist might be a good place to start.
I realize off these pills I will be mostly house bound, but I finally get to go to that specialist out of state in September. A long way away, but I want my body free of mood altering substances so when they give me proper treatment, I can live life again. It's the only hope I have, and you must have hope.
So please don't accept the fibro dx if you don't feel it's right. You don't have to live this way. Tell your dr you want to see a specialist.
You might just find there's treatment for you, other than symptom care ( adderall).
Good luck. My heart broke reading your story.
Hi. Your story sounds so familiar in ways. I too was diagnosed with fibro in 09. I didn't believe it though. No way fibro would make me feel so bad.
I too canceled appts because I felt to bad to go. I was also given adderall then Ritalin. I didn't have affects from them, good or bad. But sometimes, out of desperation, I would take extra. It never worked, and I would quit taking them, then get desperate and take again, thinking they might work this time. They didn't. I never got hooked though. I felt I was taking a placebo pill.
A year later, I got a different diagnosis, that I believed, because it had actual diagnostic tests.
Unfortunately, it's so rare that I needed to go out of state to see someone that knew what they were doing. The appt was a year away, and I lost my insurance, and am still waiting to go.
Meanwhile I developed painful bladder disease, and a messed up back from a car wreck. Enter Roxie's. ( first lortab
I too canceled appts because I felt to bad to go. I was also given adderall then Ritalin. I didn't have affects from them, good or bad. But sometimes, out of desperation, I would take extra. It never worked, and I would quit taking them, then get desperate and take again, thinking they might work this time. They didn't. I never got hooked though. I felt I was taking a placebo pill.
A year later, I got a different diagnosis, that I believed, because it had actual diagnostic tests.
Unfortunately, it's so rare that I needed to go out of state to see someone that knew what they were doing. The appt was a year away, and I lost my insurance, and am still waiting to go.
Meanwhile I developed painful bladder disease, and a messed up back from a car wreck. Enter Roxie's. ( first lortab
H Dagny, Have you ever attempted to wean off this med under your Dr. care? I have a child on vyvannce that is in the same family as addrenall, but only takes it on school days and never in the summer. He doesn't have any symptoms going off. Are you sure something else isn't causing some of your symptoms? It seems like you need a complete checkup. Don't underestimate the value of proper nutrition to help you along with your energy and mood. Hopefully more will be along to give you some good advice.
WHOA! I did not read this one. I can't even imagine 30mg THREE TIMES a day!!!! I have battled terrible ADD and anxiety my whole life and my doc prescribed adderall finally to help with homework (college level) because I got so sick of it. I only take one 10mg per day and that sometimes messes with my heart and makes me jittery.
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