Addicted to pain meds

[Dede44]

I have been taking hydrocodone since 2004.  I am now on a compound hydrocodone 30 mg and icy codons 10 mg 1 a day for break through pain. Since 2004 I have had 5 lower back surgeries and still need one on my neck for a disc replacement. I  know I am addicted because when my  pain is not to bad I do t take one but I start having sweats with chills and anxiety.  I'm scared to get off of 2 reasons. The withdrawals and the pain.  Not sure what I should do?

[dougie7311]

Hi Dede44,  I completely understand your situation and have totally simpathy for you.  I also am in the same situation.  I've had 1 spinal fusion and 3 cervical fusions.  I am also on a hight dose of pills.  It has also consumed my life. And  I too want my life back.  Hang in there, i guess the first step is admitting that it's controlling our lives and wanting a change.

[margypops]

You may also find help on the substance abuse forum, I think that withdrawal is done with the advice and help of a  doctor as I believe they wean you off slowly to lessen the withdrawal effects .dont be embarrassed,, the doctor will know exactly the amount to give you to make it easier, you say you have left the former doctor well go and sign on for a new one and ask for help..Reading the rest of your post Dede you are not alone now you have come here to Med Help and you will find much to do here, you have been through a lot and its understandable you are over whelmed .First I have to say ...its time to get tough on your self , one thing I do know when you reach bottom there is only one way ..and that's UP..You will stop thinking negative thoughts you know what you have to do and you will do it starting with asking for help from a new doctor .Starting there you will get your life back ...betcha

[Dede44]

Typo not icy condone.  1 oxycodone a day for break through pain.  Any suggestions on what is right to do? It's taken over my life. I lost my dad 07 my brother 08 and my mom 4 weeks after my brother.  I don't get out of ky house much. My husband works away and it's me and my 3 boys 23-17-and 16. They don't need me anymore and it kills me. Have the time I'm home alone me and my pain/ meds.   I always tell myself next month I will start tapering off and now it's been 7 years. It's become a part oft life.  I feel guilty that I can't get over the death of my family.  I know I have a wonderful husband and wonderfulf boys.  If I could stay in bed or on my couch all day and might I would have no problem doing it.  My pain comes from an auto accident we were in.i had my L4 L5 S1 fused and it didn't work. So I had to have my second one  2 years later he removed the 6 screws and stabilized my spine with a cage and 6 bigger screws.  My 3rd surgery came 2 years after the last one he removed the 6 screw hoping to relieve some pain due to the screws were digging into the bone.   A week later I caught a staff infection and back in I went.  Another back surgery in two weeks. He opened me up and cleaned it out closed me up and put me on vicamicin through a pik line.  Feb 2011 I went under the knife again cause the cage he put back on 06 was square and my nervers were touching the corners and OMG terrible nerve pain that NO pain meds would touch.  So he went in through my belly removed the square cage (they dont use square cages anymore) and put me a smaller round One with MORE screws.  It will be a year next month from my last surgery.   So sick of having back surgeries so I take the pain meds instead of having another one. Like I said 30mg of hydroconde (compiunded) 4 times a day is really a lot. I'm 44 years old.  The meds work but when my pain is a 7-8 or 9 it doesn't help.  My body is used of the meds. So what's next for me 40mg?? Then 50?? That's crazy.  That would kill someone if they would take only one of mine.   So embarrassed to tell my family doctor that I am on that much meds. Only my pain manager and I know.  I stopped going to family doctor.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I want my life back.