Avatar universal

Addiction-how did it happen?

If anyone would like to share a brief story about how you got here (addiction) and what you were using, I think it would helpful to hear others experiences.

My name is gizzy and I am an addict. I had NO excuse or reason to use other than thinking drugs were fun and used to like being high, how selfish of me. Once i found my drug of choice (cocaine) there was no turning back for awhile, it destroyed my life and I lost all hope, but I am addicted to all drugs, ugggg. After failling over and over and over, I decided to finally ask for help and find a way to get my life back and get off dope. I almost lost my life after my overdose and that is what it took to wake me up, no other bottom was enough for me. Today I am clean and happy and no longer feel hopeless, but it was so tough and scary at first. There was a time I believed I could not be happy without drugs, but that is the lie of addiction. Life is amazing with a clear head and I will continue to fight this, but i sure don't have to fight like I did at first, it has become so much easier now.

Anyone that wants to share their story would be great, it helps all of us to read i think. Good luck in your recovery everyone:)
17 Responses
991895 tn?1259351987
hi my name is jason i had a severe back and neck injury when i was 17 broke c3/c4 l4/l5 and have been on opiates ever since iv stopped once back in august now that i have a baby on the way i must stop 4 good back in july i found out i had 3 herniated discs in my back which prompted me to get a script of perk10/325 from my doc and it was all over from there but noe im determined to stop as a man i have no choice for me and my girl and my beautiful unborn baby.
495284 tn?1333894042
hi i am sara and i am a recovering addict.  I was a wild child that found sex drugs and rock n roll to be the answer.  Didnt matter what drug or drink.......fast forward 30 plus years, my health was failing and decided it was time to either live or die.......I chose to live.......sara
983679 tn?1276833336
My name is lee. I like many others have no excuse except i found a thrill in drugs, all drugs. I was like 9 when i started weed and drinkin, 11 started coke, at like 15 started the "party" drugs like meth-X-K-acid, and shrums, at about 19 i went into a rehab and come out clean. I was clean for about 3 years and then i needed energy one day to clean so my mother gave me a Loratab, and from there it was all downhill, i am now 25 and have been clean for 115 days. I have to say , out of all the drugs I have quit, this pills are the hardiest, the cravings are insane!! Thanks Gizzy for bringing this post, it helps to tell your story, keeps you grounded and reminds you that we are all alike only differant in our ways.
Avatar universal
My name is Gary and I am a recovering  addict also. I went 42 years of my life having no problems with drugs. One day I was working at my store and I hurt my back pretty bad. I am not a "doctor" person so I didnt go. A buddy of mine saw how much pain I was in and gave me a bottle of Vics to help me get past the pain. He has no problem with his scripts so he didnt even think that I would, well I did. From that first day, I was addicted. The rush was insane, I could work non-stop and the stress of owning a bussiness was totaly gone. Of course it got out of control. I didnt need to buy the pills due to a number of friends always had so many left over at the end of the month, they would just stock pile them, they had no problem giving me a few hundered anytime I asked. I got up to 350 mg of norco at my worst. With the help of my family and all of the wonderful people on this site, I have been clean for 177 days and it feels great!
442658 tn?1563386491
great question gizzy....my name is maria and i m a recovering opiate abuser....i m in recovery on day 511...had my first pain pills 16 years ago for some dental work...my son was an infant at the time and i really liked how they lifted my mood....gave me energy to do housework while my son took naps....just made me feel good....but when they were gone they were gone..no big deal....fast forward to 2005...someone gave me a few vikes...yep that feeling was back and i wanted it to stay so i started buying..price was cheap so why not...well the price went up a bit so i went to a pain management doc who had no trouble prescibing perc 5s  4+ day...then upped me to 7.50s  4+day and i was still buying and still taking my husbands pills....way out of control..10/12 per day...they consumed my every thought...every move...everything....went to sleep thinking about them...woke up and couldn t wait to pop 3 or 4....i was dismissed at the doc for having vikes in my urine....still continued the downward fall for about 6 more months...i couldn t imagine life without them...but i knew there was...i had it before but how do i get there....i had a BIG problem now so i quit ct with no intention of ever looking at another pain pill......why this happened i do not know...i lost my dog in 2005...my mom got cancer...and feeling numb was all good...a way to escape from real life....but when the pills consume your every thought...it s time to go...i don t know why i didn t get hooked 16 years prior...maybe cos i didn t have many, maybe cos i had a baby, maybe because i was stronger in my 30 s.....i do not know why they took 3 1/2 years of my life away....i know now that you can t hide from real life under the influence of any substance...i m glad i found med help and people like gizzy who care and continue to help and support all of us....everyone s story is different but similar to where drugs lead us...no where....dead end...keep fighting everybody...maria
Avatar universal
My name is Kim and I'm a addict.Started getting vikes for legitimate back problem,way too soon after,started loving that false energy way too much.Ran out of my monthly script in less then 2 weeks,doctor shopped,bought from dealers,stole from family.Became someone I hated,someone I no longer knew.Just decided one Saturday morning that it was do or die...I was going to get clean or I was going to die if I didn't.I have too much to live for.Here I am 635 days clean,life is good...All the best...Kim
Avatar universal
Migraines did it for me get them almost daily Lortab, Zomig at first the meds work,and a great side affect they made me feel like the queen of England and there was nothing I could not do.\Perfect wife, had the perfect clean house, dinner on the table every night.
took me 5 years of that to figure out I was going at such a speed I was bound to crash so I stopped. Yes I still have the migraines and spend many days and nights in pain but he!! at least now I know I have a head. 258 days later still free and loving life
felt so good I quit smoking as well 188 days
We all have are own stories really nice to hear someone elses!

1109246 tn?1268192801
I am not in recovery yet, but have attempted many times.  My new CT date is December 12th and in the meantime I am weaning as low as I can to minimize the withdrawal.

Funny story first :)  I had never taken pain medication in my life or did any drugs (other then try pot as a teen).  During my 21st birthday my brother picked me up (he was drunk) and fell down the steps with me.  The next day everything hurt, at the ER they sent me home with some vicodin.  Funny thing was I had never taken them in my life, I thought they were like strong tylenol or something.  I took 2 when I got home like the RX said, felt very dizzy and strange I totally FREAKED OUT and had my mom call 911.  The staff in the ER had a good laugh, I thought something was seriously wrong and had no idea that is what pain meds did.

Fast forward 2 years later....I got into a car accident which required 5 operations over the course of 2 years and of course pain medication.  For 2 years I did use the medication for the right reasons.  While still seeing the pain management doctor, aproximately 2 years after the accident, I realized the pain was not severe any more but I didn't dare tell my doctor, that is when I realized I really loved the way these pills made me feel. It was almost like an instant anti depressant, this little pill made me so happy for a few hours and I could run around and clean the house with my hands and feet at the same time LOL.  I NEVER EVER IN A MILLION YEARS thought this could happen to me.  I am a mother with 2 kids, never did drugs, and I do not drink.  I never used to understand why addicts couldnt "just quit", or knew there was a mental aspect to it.  Now I am an addict and I understand 100% that its not as simple as "just quitting".

Here I am 8 years later.  I am actually a backwards addict as I like to call it.  I went from taking 2 of the 5/325 percs every 4 hours for about 4 years.  Then i switched to 2 of the 5/500 vicodin every 4 hours.  For the last few years I have been taking 1 5/500 Vicodin every 4 hours.  Instead of increasing I have decreased over the years oddly.  I know its time, I do not take them to get that "feeling" anymore.  The fun is gone, at this point I take them to avoid the phsyical and mental withdrawal.  Good luck to all my fellow addicts :)
1032715 tn?1315984234
For the first time in 40 yrs I have finally told my whole story to my doctor my counsellor my daughter and my husband,My doctor and counsellor both explained that the things I did as I grew up were due to the warped introduction I had to sex,When my abuser,(my brother who was 10 years older than me sexually abused me from the ages of 7 to 10)left home I tried to have a sexual relationship with my other 2 brothers both older than me,they wouldn't they said brothers and sisters don't do that.I felt hurt because I didn't understand,I felt rejected,at age 12 the worst year of my life I actually touched a much younger boy inappropriately I was baby sitting he was upset I thought it would comfort him,after I realised how wrong it was and I thought I was becoming just like my brother who abused me I tried to commit suicide,By the time I was 14 I was drinking heavily I met a woman who was 28 I used to baby sit for her (and no I never touched another child again)She introduced me to many men aged between 25 and 55 they all had sex with me including her,often more than one at a time, it was concensual and I felt loved and I was getting attention again.This went on for approx 2 yrs,then I met my husband at 16 of course I was going to have sex with him the first time we went out,but he wouldn't,he wanted to get to know me as a person not just someone to have sex with,He said he wanted to love me before we took it to that level.Yes we're still married 29 yrs this year.Partly because of the abuse I became a heavy drinker at 14 was an alcoholic probably the whole time,and I became addicted to codeine by age 26.In the end I was drinking 3 to 4 x 1 litre bottles of bacardi per week and 18 to 24 x 10 mg codeine per day.I was sent a post that really pissed me off, they said there's nothing wrong having sex with your siblings that it's only society's attitudes that make us think it's wrong.I am dealing with everything at once,the abuse,the alcohol and the codeine 73 days clean.  Denise

The reason I have no trouble sharing my story is that if it helps one person get help sooner I will have accomplished something.

I don't totally blame what happened in my life but I don't think it helped, now knowing   I'd still have an addictive personality whether there was abuse or not.
Avatar universal
Ty everyone for sharing your story, although we have different stories we are all fighting for the same thing. Instead of saying I am an addict, I change mine to recovering addict, that is what I am:)

Narla, ty for sharing that and i am so sorry what you endured. I just commented on your post on the addiction recovery group and hope you will be ok tonight. Triggers suck but part of our disease. Congrats on all that clean time, I am very proud of you and proud of everyone here, your stories help my recovery, ty.
Avatar universal
Hi Gizzy
back in the day coke was my choice. Well pot was. then coke. then ex, but I was functioning executive at 29 years old. Responsible young woman. always responsible. never used beyond night clubs and nights out. I got prego in my 30's (always loved pills, but could take em for weeks, then never think of them), stopped everything for years. slowly took more pills...got pregs again, and weaned off but broke a rib and was put on codeine during pregnancy (never hurt baby). weaned off. After baby was born, my brother died of alcohol, stress. Opened a business. stress, two kids, a newborn, you name it. More pills. easy, super mom. loving mom, business owner, also second job and nice home. escalated. opiates are the only drug I fear now as every other drug was NOTHING to stop at the drop of a hat. I don't drink much at all, but love(d) my pills. When my source went dry this week, I thought WTF? the worst week to happen, but there is never a good time so I did my best. I made it. Well, this far. from 240 oxy a day to 0 oxy and only 2-3 T3 right now and a few mild antianxiety. tomorrow only 1 T3, Sunday, day 6 - maybe nothing. I feel fine and going from such a high oxy dose down to 90 mg codeine (after two clean days on nothing), I think the worst is over. Now the lifetime of staying off begins. I think I love my old self. Friends miss me, they say I'm stressed etc. I don't feel stressed now. I feel calm. I don't care if my 'friend' doesn't call, I don't worry about working enough to get enough money to buy, I have that money for me and my kids now. This is not to say I won't relapse, I mean. I was clean for two pregnancies, but I was on and off user then. I consider the oxy step was my step of no return into addiction. Now, I am an addict. I will make it. I live with two alcoholics. But they both judge me on pills ( ha ha ). now there is nothing to judge. I will continue to post as long as I can help or I can be helped. This is the begining of my journey.
My close friend was a coke dealer - he gave me stuff that was sooooo pure, it was amazing. I think that since he went to jail (cautionary tale...I always tried to help him, begged him to stop doing his product, but he got sloppy...), I've never had anything close to as good, so why bother. I think in four years, I've had maybe three or four lines. Anyway, I get how coke can get into you, and yes, you do w/d from coke, it's very tough - opiates are not the king of drugs to get off. My brother detoxed from alcohol and it was tragic - so tragic he killed himself with it. anyway, rambling. That's my story. Pray it gets better from here...
991895 tn?1259351987
absolutly thx grizzy this was such a good idea to open all our eyes it can be done look at lee i love that kid he is here to help me through my relapse as are all of u 2day is day 1 for me got some xanax to help with the w/d i know your not suppose to substitute drugs 4 other drugs but ill be okay by monday cause the next 2 day it wont be nearly as hard if i didnt have the xanax if u have had a problem with them do not do this i on the other hand never touched them 1 puts me 2 bed
Avatar universal
hi - on day three I got a lectopam 3 mg (dose is 18 -30 mg per day) to help my sleep and anxiety of w/d . best thing I did. I slept through the pain last night and although I feel like I have a bad cold the nausea is gone. Good for you! we do what we need to do. keep on going!
991895 tn?1259351987
thats right but u cant start abusing them either
Avatar universal
Hi Everyone

I was in a high stress job and used exercise to control it as much as I could. One day while running, my knee started bothering me and I just pushed it and kept going.  I broke my knee and the docs misdiagnosed; short story, they wanted to replace my knee because it was so screwed up; of course I said heck no.  So for 5 years I managed the pain with percs and patches.  I also enjoyed the feeling of opiates and only had a few times (like 3) that I actually ran out.  One day almost 2 years ago, I thought I was od'ing from the patches.  The pills weren't doing it anymore and the patches are some seriously strong meds so like others here, I thought quit or die and I choose to quit.  

Back in the gym now almost 2 years and my legs are as strong as ever with no more knee pain.  Can I run...nope but I don't need pain meds anymore either.  Some of you may think my story is mild compared to others but like most everyone here, I also counted pills, ensured I took my 2 in the AM with coffee, took another when stress was kicking in, etc.   Whether an addict or dependent, it's the same no matter where you are on the meds...something gots a hold on you and all of us decided to take drug free path.

Congrats everyone

Avatar universal
LOL. It runs heavily in my family and sooner or later by my mid-twenties that and Bipolar kicked in and started shredding my life up. I finished college before it got bad, but now I can barely work.
518798 tn?1295212279
Well, I have told my story on her before, but since I am back at the beginning, I guess I should tell it again.  I was 24 years old and had a newborn baby when I had to have my tonsils removed and many polyps removed from my sinuses.  That was the start down the pain pill addiction road.  I had never taken one in my life, but I was superwoman after I took those.  This led to a problem that I am still struggling with today.  It has been 18years and I am still struggling.  It hasn't been the same for the 18 years, sometimes worse than others.  The way my family found out about my addiction was when I was working at a doctor's office, and I began calling in my own scripts in my name and family members.  I then went in the closet with my using.  I would taken them from friends medicine cabinets, etc.  It got so bad then that I was videotaped taking them and showed to my husband, once again, I said it would never happen again.  Well, it did and it has grown to the point that I am having a friend buy them on the street for me.  I keep asking myself, if this is what my life has been reduced to, and I am so ashamed that I wonder if I am ever worth saving.
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