Addiction to Painkillers: Quitting Cold Turkey

[SADTOBEHERE]

To: ALL
Hi,

I have been on Vicodin 10/325's for 8 years. I detoxed Cold Turkey 2 years ago for 9 months, and started back when my Father died....STUPID!! My husband and 17-year old daughter knew about that time and really supported me through that detox, but now, I am so embarrassed, that I have not told them that I am back on the Vicodin again.

I have read all of the forum posts on the discussion board, and they have really encouraged me and made me very excited to quit Cold Turkey again! This will be the only support system that I will have, so I want to thank all of you in advance for you help!

Warmest regards, and the best to all of you!
WANTMYOLDME
Blank
Report
Avatar_n_tn
by SADTOBEHERE, Jul 19, 2011 07:54PM
To: ALL
One more thing,

I have all of the "Thomas Recipe" natural remedy items ready to use for the Cold-Turkey detox, so I am ready...and, by the way, I am really an addict, using 15-20 pills daily!

I did not mean to be confusing when I signed the email as "WANTMYOLDME", but I had to change my nickname when I joined the community to "SADTOBEHERE".

Thanks,
QUITCOLDTURKEY

[freeofitall]

Congrats to all for taking the step to recovery.. I have been there my self many times & it is a very difficult process. I have been clean for about 6 months now.. Thank God!! I feel so much better & life is really good.. But I must yet face this process again, because my boyfriend finally admitted to me he has been addicted for years & is tired of living a life of lies. So he ask me for help & I'm here for him all the way.. It's never easy, but it is definitely worth all the time & effort.. I wish u all luck & will keep u all in my thoughts & prayers. Please keep my boyfriend in your prayers, this is going be so hard for him.. But it makes it easier when you have a great Support System. That's why I think this forum is awesome!!!  I wish I would have know it was here when I was detoxing.. .

[donewpills]

yes i was prescribed it for my back even with being pregnant my dr left me on it they want me off before 31 weeks is when it is dangerous to take it beyond that but really they said over the next motnh or so i am 13 weeks. They prescribe it to me but i have taken way more than prescribed. I got hooked ont hese almost 6 years ago i had a surgery on my tailbone that would not heal they ended up having to do suregery 3 times he kept me onnorco 10 mg for 9 straight months that is when it began:( i got clean after a couple years stayed clean for over 3 yrs  when my husband had to have them for his back which he jsut had back surgery. however my back got really bad so my dr started giving them to me then found out i was pregnant and they kept me on it but i am supposed to be weaingin myself i know it is bad andi am so angry at myself that i cant seem to put my 8 month old and this new baby in front of myself because i really do LOVE my babies in fact we tried for over 5 yrs and never got pregnant then we lost a baby iat 13 weeks 3 months later pregnant again then lost the baby at 14 weeks.. it was really hard i feel God has finally blessed us w a baby and we r messing it up.. welll so glad u r doing good many blessings to u and take care keep pushing forward u r a inspiration to many including me i also have a forum i started have not been all too serious w writing because i need to get my plan figured out and start

[LuxorBust]

Hello! I just found this thread, how are you doing? Still staying strong and pill free? Much love and good luck to you in this time :)

[SADTOBEHERE]

Thanks for the quick response; were you prescribed pain medication for a real reason, because, if you can remember that far back, I could not, but it is a great feeling, to just be able to take 4 a day, and NOT have any withdrawal feelings!!!!! NO restless legs or ANYTHING! I am AMAZED, because I was up to 20-24 a day, and I get up now and take 1, then wait maybe 2 hours, take another, and then later in the afternoon, take my other 2. I then say to myself, if this bottle had "arsenic" in it, would I take anything else from it? NO! I know that sounds CRAZY, but we have to trick our minds, until we can get better; after all, we started taking our medicine for our legitimate pain. I can now function on a daily basis, without major pain, and that is such a relief!

As you are pregnant, I am really worried about you quitting cold turkey...will email tomorrow...got a teenage party for my daughter at my house right now...take good care!

[donewpills]

so glad u r doing this and i am really glad u went back and read that i feel much better that u know i was not being unsupportive or critiacl. That is the worse feeling to think and feel that people r being critiacl of u i felt that way to and u r right coming off this crap can really mess with ur emotions and mood because for so long the pills covered everything up. again i jsut wanted tot say great job ur doing this and that is something u should be proud of as it is EXTREMELY hard to taper. I hope u feel better soon how bad are the w/d btw when u went to the 4? I have a few and thought about trying it too but if they r just as bad i may as well not taper and jsut ct it again to get it over with my concern is i am pregnant and my ob wants me to taper because says the w/d can really hurt the baby:( I hate this fight and will be so glad to get past the worse of it. I dont have a mind prob once i get poast the w/d for me it is jsut feeling so bad makes me use or want to if it werent for the physical i could stay off them i know because i did it for iver 3 years. I will keep checking in to see how u r doing does taking 4 a day help w the restless legs or do u still have them and what ru getting for sleep?

[SADTOBEHERE]

Hey, there,
Hope all is well with you. I am so sorry that I did take it the wrong way. You know that when you are going through this, your emotions and mental status is just so fragile! I guess I did read it wrong, and I DID go back and reread it;; you were right, I was wrong, you did say that IF I was high...so, again, my sincere apologies, and thank you for keeping me in your prayers. I am doing well. My sister is coming over in a few minutes to check on me; she told me this morning, when we were talking by phone, that I sounded so different, not hyped up, like I used to be; that made me feel SO good! I am taking one day at a time, and it is just something that I personally have decided that I have to do for me. I know in my heart, that I don't need 20-24 pills a day, only 4. She is keeping me accountable, and so are the meetings. Thank you again, for all of your support, and God Bless you!

[donewpills]

OH MY GOSH R U FREAKING KIDDING ME MY POST WAS NOTHING BUT POSITIVE I SAID EERYONE WOULD SUPPORT U NO MATTER WHAT U NEED TO GO BACK TO READ IT AGAIN U SAID U FEEL LIKE U R LETTING PEOPLE DOWN I SAID FOR U TO DO WHATEVER U THOUGHT WAS BEST FOR U THAT U WERE NOT LETTING ANYONE DOWN I SAID IF AND IF AND IF AND IF DID I STRESS THAT ENOUGH NOW IF U WERE COMING ON HERE HIGH WOULD BE LETTING PEOPLE DOWN I NEVER SAID U WERE I WAS 100 % SINCERE I HAVE BEEN PRAYING FOR U AND MARKED UR THREAD SO THAT I WOULD CONTINUE TO KEEP COMING TO CHECK ON U MAYBE U SHOULD RE READ BEFORE GOING OFF AND MAYBE PEOPLE SHOULD READ ALL THE POST BEFORE JUST BELIEVEING THAT I WAS BEING INSENSITIVE IN ANY WAY WOW I AM AT A LOSS AND VERY SAD I HOPE U DO WELL AND I WILL NOT POST IF MY SINCERE THOUGHTS R GOING TO BE TAKEN WRONGLY EVERYONE ON HERE IS GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING AND NO ONE IS BETTER OR WORSE THAN  THE OTHER.... I WAS IN FULL SUPPORT OF UR ENTIRE POST AND ACTUALLY AGREED W U U KEPT STATING HOW U THOUGHT U WERE LETTING PEOPLE DOWN AND I JUST WANTED TO STRESS THE FACT THAT THAT WA S NOT THE CASE SRY FOR CARING SO MUCH I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW WHAT IT MY POST MADE U THINK ANYTHING DIFFERENT THAN I CARED????

[SADTOBEHERE]

Thanks, Inspire, you mean a lot to me! I know that you will make it through this! I am sending lots of hugs and positive feelings your direction as well, and I will keep you in my daily prayers.

I am doing well with my 4 a day, and I, for the first time, in a long time, am being honest with myself; it sure is a different feeling, both mentally and physically, than taking 24 than 4, and what I am going to continue to do is go to NA meetings for the support that I need, so that I can mentally stay strong, and be able to function on a daily basis. I hope you the very best as well as everyone on this post.

God Bless.

[Inspire2011]

Hey lookinglass
Darn I wrote you a long message this morning (all positive) and it didn't go through for some reason :(.   Day 5 for me is almost over. I woke up at 5am took a long walk and felt great but hit a depression low this afternoon after running around all morning and afternoon. I'm still on that mood stabilizer but feel maybe I should get off of it because it's messing up my detox. My doc says it's fine to stop it c/t bcuz it's only been 8 days or so and it's a low dose. Anyway I'm sorry if people have been negative on here. This site is supposed to be about encouragement and unconditional support....which is how most people are. Dust yourself off and keep going...no one is in your shoes or can take your place. If you can't get out of bed you can't function....which means little to no quality of life. At some point the reward does outweigh the risk (of being addicted), after all aren't most of us here because this was prescribed for legitimate pain? As long as your honest with yourself about what you're truly feeling and taking preventative measures you should get out of this just fine. For me there is no question. My pain is chronic but not intense enough to keep me from doing most of the things that I want/need to do. I hated the person I became on those pills...esp the last 4 months or sohttp://www.medhelp.org/posts/new/1560736#.....way outta control. I'm sure you're looking into all different types of solutions to heal your body. Take care of yourself and keep pushing forward
lots of hugs and positive feeling your way

[SADTOBEHERE]

PAGE 2:

Imodium (4-6 hours after onset; first few hours let body purge toxin concentrates) [detoxers have posted that 4-6 tablets x3 daily substantially helped them not only control diahhreah, but also lessened WDs]

Salonpas Patches For Muscle Pain

Aspercreme For Joint Pain (does NOT have Aspirin in it)

Airborne-3 boxes= (4 day supply @double doses3xdaily)

Nyquil-2 bottles since you will need it both day & night for first 3-4 days (will help joint pain & sleep)

Orange Juice w/Calcium-2 (will help joint pain & helps stabilize central nervous system)

Oranges-Natural VitC and other nutrients

Apples-Natural VitC and other nutrients

Bananas-2 bunches (potassium source; eat 2-3 daily; will help joint pain &helps stabilize central nervous system)

Sweet Potatoes-great nutrient source for VitA and other things; canned or fresh to cook-can be microwaved)

Blue Berries-fresh or dried -Great antioxidant

Spinach-Leafy Salad Mix, Frozen, or Canned (Vit. A-eat as much as you can)

Mini Carrots (good VitA and fiber source)

Green Tea-great antioxidant to help cleanse your system of toxins.

Peppermint Tea & Peppermint Candy-Nausea

Chammomile Tea-Sleep

Hershey’s Dark Chocolate Bars-has antioxidant & central nervous system coping properties

Zinc 50 or 60 mg (3xdaily ONLY W/FOOD; will substantially help joint pain)

B-Complex 100 mg. (helps stabilize central nervous system)


*L-Tyrosine [avoid if already taking any SSRI RX ](Health Food Store-will help joint pain & nerves) One hour before eating start w/2000 mgs; scale up/down based on how you feel up to 4,000 mgs. Take w/B-6 to help w/absorption. It will give you a surge of physical & mental energy that helps counteract malaise feeling. If you experience "coffee jitters" reduce to comfortable level.

*5HTP 100mg 3xdaily-no more than 300 mg daily as it could create risk elevated seratonin levels[avoid if already taking any SSRI RX m]-Walmart for best price; otherwise pricey; helps joint pain & nerves)

D-Phenylalanine (Health Food Store-helps joint pain) Compliments effectiveness of L-Tryosine and 5HTP

B-6 (needed for aborption & effectiveness of L-Tyrosine/D-Phenylalaline)

B-Complex w-B12 Sublingual Liquid Drops (Walmart-Spring Valley Line-key ingredient here is the B-12 which helps central nervous system & energy level. B-12 can only be absorbed by the body through natural dietary sources, injections, or liquid sublingual-under tongue

Calcium (helps joint pain & nerves)

*St. John's Wort [avoid if already taking any SSRI RX meds]-will help w/onset of depression which will also affect level of joint pain)

Multi-Vitamin Formula (Costco/Sams/Walmart) -helps joint pain, nerves, and depression)

Multi-Mineral Formula (Costco/Sams/Walmart) -helps joint pain, nerves, and depression)

Valerian Root (Walmart-helps nerves; increase dose leves @night to help w/sleep)

Hyland's Leg Cramps-Walmart-Homepathic Supplement has Quinine in it which helps w/leg syndrome; sublingual
under tongue. RX levels of Quinine available from doctor.

Fish Oil-OMEGA 3-Helps w/legs syndrome &pain

[*These products impact serotonin levels and therefore if you are on any SSRI medications do NOT take these additional supplements as it could alter your RX medication]

Mindless Comedy Movies-mental distraction aids; make sure you get 1 week rentals unless you have someone who can return them for you.

Note: Its a good idea to have Activated Charcoal & Benadryl on hand. If at any time you feel you may have exceeded a level on anything the Charcoal functions like a system sponge for absorbing toxins and carrying out toxins; it will turn stool a charcoal color. The Benadryl is an antihistamine and is sometimes given for adverse reactions to other medications. These things are almost always never needed but provided safety and security to just know they are on hand.
However, NO antihistimines if you are detoxing from Benzodiazepines Some online medical reports suggest that antihistimines (Benadryl, TylenolPM, sleep aids) may increase risk of Benzo withdrawal seizure.

None of these things will totally eliminate WDs; but, may help lessen them.

[SADTOBEHERE]

What Symptoms To Expect
Vicodin has a half-life of 4-8 hours; therefore, WDs will begin for most between 8-16 hours after last dose taken. Most people express that detox feels like the worst flu they have ever had in their life. You will likely experience severe achy joints, weakness, restless legs syndrome, headaches, lack of clarity in thought, irritability-does not play well with others, severe “coffee jitters” to the extent that it is difficult to sit still and some experience involuntary muscle twitches, general feeling of “the all overs”, nausea but most do not report vomiting, and most report diarrhea. WDs will increasingly worsen up to about days 3-4 and then begin to turn the corner and stabilize.

It is best to plan your detox needs and shop in advance of starting. When you externally provide the body with chemicals that alter the brain, the body reads the signal and reacts by stopping its own natural production levels. So, when you cold turkey stop the external source, it jolts your body and whiplashes your system into wakeup mode. All those little workers have been snoozing for however long you have been administering the external supply source. Now the alarm bells are ringing all throughout your system, and they are running around like keystone cops screaming “oh ****!!!!” They will get back on the job for you again, but it takes a while for them to get synchronized and functioning efficiently again.

1-2 weeks Ahead of Planned Detox
If possible, plan your detox 1-2 weeks ahead and commence with the Multi-Vitamin, Multi-Mineral, B-Complex 100mg, Zinc (pain-take only after eating food), & St. John's Wort (depression; but do NOT take if you are taking SSRIs) to build a solid base level BEFORE you start the detox. Many who have not built a solid base in advance have reported a more difficult time during detox. It took them a minimum of 1 week to achieve maximum relief level when days 1-4 are likely to be your worst WD days during detox. You may not feel depression now, but detox WDs usually results in the onset of depression until your body acclimates and can regulate itself. Building a nutriment base BEFORE detox will help lessen WDs and lessen the level of additional supplements you will need to help you cope.

About Work
You should plan to take time off work to detox, usually a week. Options on work are plan to take off or call in sick with the flu, or the hybrid plan is time detox where you take last pill late the night before, go to work jittery and leave work early “with flu”---since you went home sick w/flu no one will be terribly surprised when you aren’t able to make it in most, if not all, of the following week.

During days 1-2 (and possibly day 3)
Most detoxers say it is best if you can try to sleep as much as you can during the first couple of days at least. Nyquil, Benadryl (not w/Benzodiazepine Detox!), Valerian Root, 5HTP (do not exceed 300mg daily) are types of things that may help you to sleep. Select other things from the OTC Options list as needed use other things from the list.

Days 3-5
You will likely start to stabilize. When you feel that you are starting to level off begin the L-Tyrosine/B6/D-Phenylalanine/Sublingual B-Complex w/B-12 to help w/pain and energy.

THINGS THAT MAY HELP

HOT baths several times a day to help with aches; add Epsom Salts or vingear

-Heating Pad & warm blankets to keep muscles warm and relaxed.

-Hot Rice Socks for muscle warmers. Fill cotton socks w/rice, stretch and leave room on ends to loop and self tie sock end. Heat rice socks in microwave for approximately 2 min. Heat check & apply to achey areas.

-Keep nourished; drink lots of water: Add 1 tablespoon of Apple Cider Vinegar for body PH rebalancing & pain; and if you can, add 1 tablespoon Honey for energy

-Relaxation Exercise to help lessen muscle cramping ,pain, & restless legs syndrome, EASY exercise regimine to activate your own natural endorphins & dopamine to help w/pain, While in bed work your muscles-tighten the muscles in your entire body all at once as hard as you can---hold it for several seconds(hold breath)---slowly release muscles and breath. Do entire body 5 times and then repeat doing one area at time--both legs then both arms-then low back/abdomen area; repeat cycle/one leg-one arm, etc.

SHOPPING LIST OPTIONS TO HAVE ON HAND DURING DETOX
Print out list to shop and to use as a tool to track what you take & its effectiveness.

Soup & Frozen Meals- enough for a few days

Liquid Nutritionally Balanced Meals; e.g., Slim Fast or Ensure

Gatorade (replaces electrolytes)

Benadryl (50mg w/hydro; taper ease aide)

Robitussin DXM-helps WDs; taper ease aide

Tagamet-taper ease aide; slows absorption of Hydro

Tylenol PM(but not w/Benzodiazepine Detox!)- during WDs you can take this during the day w/o it making you sleepy

[SADTOBEHERE]

I just wanted to give you an update on my situation. While I appreciate your input, I have put a lot of thought and effort into my decision, and I am not HIGH while giving advice to anyone! I have SUFFERED through HELL for 5 days, and I have a loving family, but Gnarly, my husband is a man that has is great to everyone else but is not very compassionate to me, and I just cannot deal with that right now, so that is that. Back to me and my sister and the pill situation. I am sorry that I am going to taper with 4 pills a day, and I am proud to say that yesterday, that is exactly what I did, and today, I have only had 1 pill, and it is 1144AM. My sister is very strict with me, and we are very close. I went to an NA meeting last night, and my mind is in a different place this time. I do feel that eventually I might like to ween off completely and do the injections or some other type of treatments, but that is my personal situation.

Donewpills, if you feel that I do not have a place on this forum, just let me know....I feel that God has put me here for a reason. Just because my situation is different does not mean that I cannot help others be strong. I tried to post a long detox list last night, but something was wrong with this site, so for all of you others, I will try to post it again, and God Bless to all of you and take care. I will see you later and Good Luck to all of you!

[BrunetteAshes]

Hey!! i too am young and keeping this a secret from everyone. i've tried to quit a few times but have been unsuccessful. we can do this!! its super hard not being able to share it with anyone but we just gotta think about how good it will be after one week. some w/d will last longer but for the most part thats all it will take to feel like a completely different person!  please PM me to keep in touch instead of continuing on SAD's thread! :) God bless & Will Power!

[tooyounganddone]

HI, so im 18 and have been living with guilt for about a year now of being hooked on opiate. I watched my sister throw her life away because of it and it makes me sick that im no better than her. Ive tried once cold turkey but it wasnt a serious effort. My habit is in complete dark to everyone and can not see my mom go through what she has already going through with my sister. I need to do this on my own and deal with it. Though my pride isnt a big issue but the factor of disappointment from my family is enough to make me want to cry. I look up to my father and the thought of him knowing or anything is unbearable. Most of my friends are away at college and i feel like i have no one to turn too. On an positive note i see im not the only one with a life and living with a dark secret wanting to better themselves. I see SADTOBEHERE alone is an inspiration to do this and i will be starting my detox period in about a week. This is a week im taking vaction from work to come back a new person. Till then this forum will be my support and i support whoever tries to strive for something to be better
-addictwithambition

[gnarly_1]

HEY YOU  how you holding up....did your daughter get home safely?? dose she know
I hate to say this but our secrets keep us sick we need to let family know so they can hold us accountable ......I also know its a lot ez when you have support all of my kids where older when I detoxed and each of the 5 checked in daily to see how I was doing never felt more loved at my worst they where there my daughter Rachel still celebrates with me my wife has become my biggest avacate so you might want to let them in on on whats really going on I have done this a wile and it is rare that a family reject the addict most just poor out love and support.......support that will help with your recovery keep posting I will look for you tomorrow good luck and God bless.......Gnarly  

[donewpills]

at brunetterashes great job on ur decision yes u can do this:) I wanted to tell u though go to the main page fo the forum up to post a question and start ur very own thread u will get SOOO much more support this way then everyone who posts on it it will be about and for only u which u will need. I will be looking for ur new thread and keep in touch with u.. @ sad u r not disappointning anyone if that is how U want to do this this has to be done for and be about u only i know u have all of us for support and are concerned this way but if u r choosing the taper that is fine what would be dissapointing if u come on here high and while u r using all the time and are giving/getting advise that would be disappointing i jsut want to remind u there is a VERY LOW success rate of tapering hopefully ur sister who will be giving u ur pills is not a cave in type where u can jsut tell her a little story to get more she needs to be firm and u guys need to talk about that so that when/if u try and she says no it does not cause u guys to fight or hinnder ur relationship in any way. keep posting would love to see u succeed in this r u going to be tapering or permantly going to be taking 4 a day just thought of that and it kinda seems like u plan on staying on them at 4 a day. if that is the case that too is a personal decision but then i would say u may not need the support /help if u r not ready to quit yet but idk its all up to u either way i hope things work out for u

[BrunetteAshes]

i'm on day one, i'm only a few hours in so the w/d havent really started yet but i am trying to prepare. i have tried to quit many times but have never made it even 24 hours! but i feel like i really want it this time. my bf has been in rehab 21 days (he has 7 days left) and has been inspiring to me but its so much easier for him as he has no choice. but i have temptation all around me and i cant take time off work so i have to fight thru. im hoping that work will help wear me out so i will be able to sleep better. i went to the dr and he gave me hyrdixyzine which is supposed to help with anxiety & insomnia. i have these bath crystals that are supposed to ease your hurting joints. on my way home from work im going to get some chamomile tea & gatorade. i can beat this and so can all of you! you guys are so many more days in then i am and i need to watch you girls be successful so i KNOW i can too! i will be checking back every day!!

[tavia14]

Hey you ... You are doing so awesome! I am just barely ahead of you and as much as I am sad I also know I am fighting an awesome fight and must have way more strength than I realize!!! Yes, one day I am doing it for me, the next I am doing for my baby and then the other is husband and then me again!! What matters the most is we are doing it!!! My physical part ( except energy level -0) is 95 % better!! Well, than last week!!! It's now just the depression which for some reason I can't remember ever being this bad!!!!! But in any case it is... So we just have to hold on tight to each other day by day minute by minute shoot sec by sec and win this battle. I know it will get better!

[SADTOBEHERE]

By the way, that was $14,000.00 a year on health insurance; why can't we find a solution in our country today to help out the ones that really need it!

Gnarly, question for you....how long have you been clean, and what did you do, mentally, to get through this?

I will keep all of you in my daily prayers.

[SADTOBEHERE]

To Donewpills and Inspire2011,

I am on Day 5, but I had a very LONG conversation with my sister this afternoon; as I have a medical condition, where my doctor has prescribed me 4 pills a day, she has always asked me why I cannot just take my 4 pills a day and be done with it...she just does not understand, as she has never been addicted to anything except cigarettes. She has told me that she will keep my medication for me, and only give me my 4 pills daily, but I just don't know if I can be that disciplined. I do not want to let ANY of you down; my back is KILLING me, and I have to hold on to a piece of furniture just to get out of the bed. It sounds like a plan, until I can get health insurance; always had that, and this year, my husband and I figured out we were paying over $14,000.00 just for myself and my daughter on his work insurance plan...he was already covered...ridiculous!!! So, we covered our daughter under a separate plan, because I had Tachycardia about 4 years ago, and it is considered a pre-existing  conditiion, so it is almost impossible for me to find anything. When I do get covered, I wanted to check into injections for my back; my cousin is getting ready to do that, but I am unfamiliar with that type of treatment.

Inspire, you told me that I was your "looking glass"; I need some advice now, because I don't want to let any of you down, including myself...need a little guidance.

Thanks so much and much love and blessings to all of you!

[donewpills]

hi sad2behere just wanted to check in on u and see how things r going? I know how u feel about not getting post i started mine afew days ago and only have a handful of poeple that have come on 1 time to offer support but didnt come back grrrr its hard when u count on this. I cant really give u much because i am struggling with day 1 i got to day 7 and relapsed how effin stupid now i am back becaue i used for a few days so have to do it all over again yeah not cool i hate these stupoid things. I keep telling myself what it will belike when i feel good again even tho i know it will be more than a month from now. YIKES i hate the thought of that. I too had a hard time when on the pills i would sit on my puter sit outside and smoke and i always woke up by 5 to take pills but after breakfast back to bed i just got really lazy cant wait to get natural energy back i stayed clean for over 3 years and felt fantastic... well hope u post soon what day r u on now??

[Inspire2011]

I'm not feeling great today either. I'm dragging to the vet, pick up the kids and to the grocery store. I just cried to my husband. It helped a bit. I think the Xanax is causing other symptoms. I was only taking it for a couple of days but I think it prolonged the jitters. I need to workout. Even if it's just jjumping jacks in the house. Is your day getting better?? You are my lookinglass :). I think I need to look into NA meetings. My Lil sister was a great cheerleader but she is gone for a few days leaving me feeling...well...lonely. I hope tomorrow is a better day and I can get over this pneumonia soon. Are u still jittery?
I hope ur doing great.... Talk soon :)

[SADTOBEHERE]

To Inspire2011 and Gnarly,

Thank you, Gnarly..you are a Great friend and inspiration to me and I NEED your continued advice...just had a friend send me a very emotional video clip of Winona Judd singing "I Can Only Imagine"...OMG...I don't even think people have to believe in God to have that song and message get to you, (PLEASE BELIEVE ME, I AM NOT PUSHING THAT), but it really helped me today!

Inspire2011,

For some reason, today is not great for me...hope it is for you! Only have 1 more day before my daughter returns from her vacation, and she has a big teenage get-together planned at our house on this Thursday evening, (a SLEEPOVER) with about 8  sixteen, seventeen and eighteen year olds! Might sound sort of odd, (couple of guys will be here too), but my daughter and her friends just are not into a lot of the advanced teenage things these days....they just like to hang out and watch videos and act crazy...thankful for that, (please do not thinking I am judging anyone individually, just know what my daughter tells me when she comes home from High School, about what she sees and experiences).

Sorry to ramble, but I don't know how to get through these next few days without all of your support; Gnarly, my best friend, (sound like High School-LOL), has been going to AA/NA meetings 3-4 times weekly, (her husband is a very successful dentist in my town-just and an FYI), and she has been tugging at me for a couple of years to let her help me; don't know what my problem was....just a VERY stubborn Italian, Greek woman that is a Professional, and did not know how to find the time to Detox with everything, I guess, if I had to have an excuse....believe me...I have thought about that a lot! There is an NA meeting tomorrow night at 7pm, but that is when my daughter is expected to return home, so I will have to shoot for the next meeting.

I did feel NORMAL when I quit for 9 months...I actually woke up at 7am...unbelievable....went right to work in my business, which was not the case on pills...had to procrastinate until about noon before working!! Anyway, I had that horrible accident falling off my Deck, and I truly believe if I had been attending NA meetings and/or had this sort of support system, I would not have started up again.

Thanks again, and WE CAN DO THIS....one second, one minute, one hour, one day, one week, one month, one year, the rest of our LIFETIME totally CLEAN and PILL-FREE together!

[Inspire2011]

Hello, I'm on day 4. I was taking anywhere from 4-8 7.5 hydros a day. Not sure what the tylenol level was. I am newly married and have 2 stepkids..who are in their early to mid teens. They lost their biological mother to addiction about 3 years ago. I have been taking opiates for over 10 years which stemmed from 5 knee operations, jaw and hand surgery and misc stuff like sciatica from a car accident. It had been a looooooong road. Anyway about 4 years ago I found a website for tramadol and soma and started taking those daily with an occasional vic here and there. I finally broke down and told my now husband that I was taking 10-15 tramadol daily and probably 6-10 soma a day and he helped me taper and quit but was really hard on me bcuz of his past experience. The vicodin started to pick up shortly after and had gotten pretty bad. I got married, went on my honeymoon (ran out of pills there) and was the biggest rolllercoaster of emotions depending on whether or not I could get my pills. He said he thought we made a mistake as I didn't seem "happy" to be in the r'ship.  I was snappy and couldn't be bothered to answer the phone or return an email unless I had a pill on board. What a way to live huh. Finally I decided to seek professional help except I was embarrassed to say I had an addiction so I said I was moody and he put me on a very low dose mood stabilizer called trileptal. Well my husband was suspicious when I moved to the couch bcuz of the rls and started checking my history to see what websites I had been on. Yup I had ordered vicodin (this time to try and taper) and he was beyond upset and disgusted I think. Anyway the point is these kids need me and I have been in a vicodin fog and I haven't been able to really be there for them. I feel horrible. My husband is trying to be supportive but no one really knows unless they have been there, walking in your shoes everyday. Stay strong and do this for yourself. You can't be the best version of yourself until you get of off these pills. How did you feel during those 9 months??? Normal, happy w/o a pill? write me....I'll write back...we're only one day apart....we can do this!