husband hooked on oxys

[nat1114]

hi everyone,
so much encouragement god bless all of you.
I need to share my story and hope to get some advice from anyone.
I have been married for 17 years to a man that i loved more than life itself, and knew that he felt the same about me.about 3 years ago my husband started taking oxys. for a shoulder injury. I did not know much about the medication, but after a couple of months where i saw a change in his personality i started researching the med. after all that i read i was terrified that my husband was going to loose his life from these pills. so i started to beg him to stop the med. i became a nagging wife. that caused a lot of fighting in my house so after a year i decided to take a new approach and spoke to him and to him that it is up to him and whenever he is ready i will be there for him, i worried everyday but kept it to myself. 2 years later he had come to me and said he had enough we went to detox, my husband took buspar which helped him get off the oxys. 3months after that his father died and 2 months later my husband is back on oxys. worse than ever, he became very angry, very into himself, he pulled back away from me, he tried to be out of the house as often as possible which made me upset with him greatly, our sexlife has been terrible for 2 years now and at this point i felt so unwanted, a few days ago i asked my husband to move out, because of a huge fight that we had that my daughter had to witness, and i just cant have her exposed to this. my husband and his family cant understand why i did this, but i had to. I am a mess about it i have been withmy husband since i am 17 years old and i am scared. i hope i made the right decision. i hope someone can give me some advice. thank you

[LateAugust]

Hi   I sent you a "message"  please check for it,  I know you are new to this site, and sometimes the notification of a message via email may or maynot work.

One thing I didn't talk about in the message was Al-Anon,   I live in "suburbia" with a large city close by,  and there were not a lot of Narc-Anon mtgs. available.  So  I do go to Al-Anon,  took me several meetings, but found a place that I feel comfortable, and a lot of them are mixed groups of drug and alch. addiction.    

Talk to you soon.

[wannabefree330]

suboxone can be a good alternative if it is taken for the right reasons, and prescribed by a well educated physician.  Just like all medications it's when we decide to take them how we want to when we get into trouble and the 'medicine' becomes the bad guy.  REally, it's our stupidity that leads us there.

You did the right thing sending him on his way.  Don't feel guilty for that, he's left you no other alternative.  You are right, you can't allow your child to be exposed to that anymore and you don't have to put up with being treated that way either.  Truth be told, the real him would never treat you that way.  But he is making a conscious choice to continue taking pills that make him become somebody else.  He knows the pills are no good, but it's a choice he's making and hopefully now he'll see that there are consequences.  Once he decides he's had enough, he knows you'll be there to help him through it.  Otherwise, get to alanon or narcanon to learn how to treat your side of this addiction.  If not there, get into some counseling.

[casper_47]

My husband of 30 years has been addicted to oxy's and everyother pain pill since our wedding day.. I truly know how you feel.. Emotionally detached from your own husband.. feeeling like the outsider who got in his way... sex not a priority for him... But for the past 3 weeks he started taking this new drug suboxone... I have heard alot from the people in here good and bad about this drug... But like you my husband didnt hit rock bottom until I left him 3 months ago.. Only then did he admit to his children family and friends of our situation... We are only 3 weeks into recovery but thats the longest Ive had him clean in many years.. My heart goes out to you.. There are alot of good people with good advice in here... good luck to you and your husband... Debbie

[gizzy32]

narc anon, ty cathy. see i learn something new everyday. don't hear as much about narc anon here.

[cathy5841]

narc anon is for addicts families.  please try to find a meeting.  i agree you did the right thing.  if he dont stop using it will only get worse.  good luck.

[gizzy32]

sorry to cut in on this, but is al anon only for families of alcoholics or does it work for families going through addiction also?

[gizzy32]

i think you posted the other night and again im sorry about what your going through. it sounds like you may have some guilt for showing him tough love, but i do believe you did the right thing because this could be the bottom he needs. like twolve said, don't give up, but do not allow his behaviour like this to continue. he has to help himself. is he still using since he left? are there any al anon meetings in your area, i heard they have helped many people in the exact same situation you are in. i hope things work out for your family, addiction really takes it's toll.

[twolve]

I am so sorry that you have had to go through that. I can imagine how hard it must be on you, but I don't think you made the wrong choice. His problem is that he honestly probably doesn't know or intend to act differently, it is the pills that are making him seem mean..i really hope everything works out for you two though, because if he can get off the oxys he is still the man you fell in love with..so don't give up entirely.