Aa
Alone and day 1.
The hardest thing is fighting an addiction alone.... I have been taking perks... about 40 a day, for almost 2 years, and hiding it from everyone... I gave it up last summer for 17 days... the withdrawl was hell, pure hell, i swore i'd never go through that again... that was 5 months ago, yup been taking them pretty steady for the last 5 months again.... when i stopped for my 17 days i treated myself to a skydive, a celebration, something i wanted to do for a long time..... cravings got too much to deal with after that... here i am again... today is day 1.... the withdrawl is not as bad this time, no sweats, yet, not as lathargic, but having some pain in what feels like the kidney area... feeling really sorry for myself.... dont know what to do, dont know who to talk to..... wow, am i even making any sense??? Dont want to tell my husband, afraid of the consequences..... sister knows, dad knows, but they are addicts too so a lot of good that does me, haha... just dont know what to do, have already lost so much!! So sad!!!
day 4 seems sooo much harder then the first 3.. ugh but i'm pushing through.. yes it's so cold here today even the school buses are not running.... i wish i was home snuggled under a warm blanket with a cup of tea, but i'm at work.. lol... so i have to have my tea here!
hi there, i have considered telling him more then once, almost blurted it out, but i just can't.. not yet, i'm just not ready to take that plunge for fear of what he may, or may not say and fear of falling back into the pills to get me through... many people here have said i should tell him so i have the support, in the last few days i have created my own circle of care... this being, this site, a couple very close friends of mine, and my dr. so I just don't feel i need to cause that pain to my husband right now..... i just need to get through this first, then maybe just maybe i'll talk to him.. but thanks so very much!!
Hey just checking in on ya, your on day 4 already that's great keep going your doing well. You said its -35 in Canada now burrrr I would just stay in with a good cup of tea. I will be praying for you God Bless---Rick
Hello and a huge congrats on day 4! I wanted to reach out because I'm now officially on Day 1 of my plan and say that I hope you are finding this community to help with feeling alone.
I can't imagine being in a marriage and trying to deal with this without coming out with it. That may be the best route for you, and I certainly can understand not wanting to come out and tell your husband. I too have been hiding my addiction, and although I didn't come 100% clean with it, I did tell my girlfriend (whom I live with). I am in the position of having kidney pains and stones chronically for the past ten years, so I've been on opiates for some time. Although I've been abusing them recreationally for the past year, I told my girlfriend and roommates that I've been on them for several weeks for kidney pain, but that the dosage and usage has gotten out of control, and now I'm in the position of having to go through a withdrawal from the drug. Although it wasn't the full truth, it was enough for them to understand I'm going through something and get a community of support behind me. Is there some way you could frame it to your husband that would be sort of a half truth, but at least get the issue on the table in a way that you can go through this together? Just a thought, if you find yourself slipping, you could always find that half truth and tell him, and explain that you are on day 4 but were afraid to tell him before this. I'm not sure what the nature of your relationship is, but you may find it incredibly cathartic.
Well, I wish you the best and keep going at this! A huge congratulations on making it as far as you have.
I can't imagine being in a marriage and trying to deal with this without coming out with it. That may be the best route for you, and I certainly can understand not wanting to come out and tell your husband. I too have been hiding my addiction, and although I didn't come 100% clean with it, I did tell my girlfriend (whom I live with). I am in the position of having kidney pains and stones chronically for the past ten years, so I've been on opiates for some time. Although I've been abusing them recreationally for the past year, I told my girlfriend and roommates that I've been on them for several weeks for kidney pain, but that the dosage and usage has gotten out of control, and now I'm in the position of having to go through a withdrawal from the drug. Although it wasn't the full truth, it was enough for them to understand I'm going through something and get a community of support behind me. Is there some way you could frame it to your husband that would be sort of a half truth, but at least get the issue on the table in a way that you can go through this together? Just a thought, if you find yourself slipping, you could always find that half truth and tell him, and explain that you are on day 4 but were afraid to tell him before this. I'm not sure what the nature of your relationship is, but you may find it incredibly cathartic.
Well, I wish you the best and keep going at this! A huge congratulations on making it as far as you have.
its the same way here barb LOL i'm so exhausted, didnt sleep much again last night ugh... i'm just so tired.... i'm feeling chills today, day 4... but it's -35 here in canada so i could be cold from that, lol.
Hey there! How are you feeling today?
I had to laugh at your comment being in the medical field and being sent home if you were sick.
I worked in a hospital. Same thing, you would be sent home and it would be an occurrence on you. But if they were short staffed, somehow they missed/overlooked that terrible cold or whatever. Hypocrites lol.
Hope you have a great day!!!
I had to laugh at your comment being in the medical field and being sent home if you were sick.
I worked in a hospital. Same thing, you would be sent home and it would be an occurrence on you. But if they were short staffed, somehow they missed/overlooked that terrible cold or whatever. Hypocrites lol.
Hope you have a great day!!!
Glad you are having an easier time than you thought you might. Sometimes I think that happens. A friend of mine who had tried and tried to give up cigarettes...one day he tried again and found it somehow do-able. He was, and is, amazed. I'm not religious but if I were I'd call that grace. I hope you continue to feel optimistic and don't have to be "grumpy" too much longer at work ;) Cool you've got a little dog who gets you. My cat is pretty clueless but she's a good leg warmer :)
oh really eh, maybe i'll try that, never thought of that...i will pick some up on my way home... thanks
I Took alka seltzer for body aches and stomach aches It helped ease my stomach and calm my aches and pains down .
to be quite honest.... it's seems a little easier this time around, i'm not sure why??? i dont have the flu like sweaty symptoms, and i have more energy... thank god.. lol. yes my little dog i'm sure does understand, in my heart i really think she does!
have not pu any magnesium, but have been eating banannas.... my back is killing today, legs are ok, they seem to bother me most when i go to bed, hoping to sleep tonight........... but my back also is throbbing.. makes it so uncomfortable, and sitting at a desk for 12 hours does not help... but i'm pushing through!
You will get through this and i know everyone says that and going through it is hard,but you can get thru it all. I am pulling for you. The light at end of tunnel for the physical part is going to get brighter you can remember that YOU CAN! Be proud of yourself and look in the mirror and see that you are going to make this :)
PS> You dog knows you are not feeling well and she does understand :)
PS> You dog knows you are not feeling well and she does understand :)
thats all i want to do is get better... one day at a time right... one minute at a time, went home for lunch today, talked to my dog again, and again she just looked at me while i talked then licked my face lol... she so understands me i think! :-)
That works too! I have sat through many a meeting feeling awful just telling people the same types of things. Tired, stressed, have a cold, flu, things on my mind, etc.
If you can, pick up some Magnesium to help with the RLS. It helps minimize that and the achey/heavy leg feelings. If you can't get some, eat bananas, oranges, orange juice. The potassium in those help too.
If you can, pick up some Magnesium to help with the RLS. It helps minimize that and the achey/heavy leg feelings. If you can't get some, eat bananas, oranges, orange juice. The potassium in those help too.
well i work in the medical field, and if your sick here you get sent home.. sooooo lol can't do that, but statistics show that this is the time of year when people are most down, bills from xmas etc... so thats my excuse, lol.... plus i have high blood pressure, so i'm using my meds as an excuse, just saying dr is trying different ones and they are having different effects on me, seems to be going over ok.. lol
Just tell people at work you aren't feeling that great and they will leave you alone. The flu is going around so they won't want to catch it. LOL!
how can I , and how should I, stop a 20 year , fiorinol w/codiene#3, right now 5 pill a day every 4 hours.... I need help in knowing how to stop or taper off this drug??????????
Thats great about the anxiety and I Know the sleep part $ucks but at least you got some sleep which is better than none Your body is strong just remember each day Life will get better. I am glad you are busy at work And keeping your mind preoccupied thats great!
As far as being a fraud dont even worry about it just worry about getting better :)
I am pulling for you and Sending you lots of support!
As far as being a fraud dont even worry about it just worry about getting better :)
I am pulling for you and Sending you lots of support!
Hi Katya... thanks so very much... the same is for me, the WD is not as bad this time, except for the lack of sleep and RLS... otherwise i'm not too bad. Did you do the Tandem dive? thats what i did and will do that one again this year, i can't wait. Your right, if we are brave enough to do that, and my god it was scarey lol then we can do this right... this should be a breezy in comparison! Thanks again... hugs back!!
Hi jibi07,
I'm Katya. I just posted a scene similar to yours. Lets try and get through this together. I went skydiving too! After a break up. Went twice actually, loved it. I we have the kind of guts that can skydive thinking it's a blast, then we should certainly have the cojones (or something) to brave this fight against these stupid drugs. I had a huge habit too. Only be relapsing a little since X-mas, so maybe w/d won't be super bad. Haha. Anyways, stick with me and maybe we can both make it out of this mess together. It can be done.
Hugs, Katya
I'm Katya. I just posted a scene similar to yours. Lets try and get through this together. I went skydiving too! After a break up. Went twice actually, loved it. I we have the kind of guts that can skydive thinking it's a blast, then we should certainly have the cojones (or something) to brave this fight against these stupid drugs. I had a huge habit too. Only be relapsing a little since X-mas, so maybe w/d won't be super bad. Haha. Anyways, stick with me and maybe we can both make it out of this mess together. It can be done.
Hugs, Katya
actually my anxiety is at a low, it's also not as bad this time... but i'm going one minute at a time.... keeping busy at work, which is also good, but it's so hard pretending at work that everything is fine and dandy when i'm feeling this way.... i feel like a fraud!
Just stay positive and remember when anxiety hits It does pass! Just take it day by day U can do this!
hi con, no not really, i went to bed at 10, fell asleep at around midnight, woke up at 420, been awake since, ugh, working a 12 hour shift today, so i'm really exhausted right now and it's only 930, i'm here till 830 tonight..... hoping to sleep tonight... *fingers crossed* my legs were drivng me nuts, nothing helped!! :-( otherwise, i'm not doing too bad! :-)
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