Feel ur pain...sounds like my story...DDD and chronic pain...pain makes us a sitting duck cos we stay tired..pain will drive u down...the pills picked me up...which is not the normal respnse to narcotics for the majority of the population//drowsiness is///if the pills make u have nrg then u r at very high risk fr addiction
And yse...1 turns into 2 and 2 turns into 10 in a matter of a blink of the eye it seems....i started at 0.5 mgs of hydro./which is a slighly weaker drug than u r on as drs will not rx oxy here unless it is sumpin really severe...i even cut the 0.5 mg in half cos i would feel too "awake"....by 4 yrs even 100 mgs wouldnt do it for me////took up to 140 mgs and nuttin..my tolerence was going out the roof and I, like u. worried bout ten yrs from now
the emotional pain of addiction can outweigh physical pain in the end...like u i was no longer using as prescribed and it just gets worse..i had to stop and ask myself...do these really stop my pain? for me the answer was No...i just didnt care as much....narcotics only interrupt the pain signal to the brain and do not work directly on the source of pain like anti-inflamatories, ice heat, massage etc....due to tolerence they were made for acute and not chronic pain...they r not the recommended pain choice for fibro...lyrica or neurontin is//as of late cymbalta added to this list...neurontin is what i take now///lots safer...massage, ice, heat, yoga, chiropractic, muscle relaxers, injections when acute
I knew i was an addict when:
I took them first thing in the am to get moving
I took them cos i felt clammy or anxious, or tired vs pain
I ran out before refill time/number uno que for me that i was developing a problem
I felt edgy and yucky if i didnt take them
Worrying about running out became a pass time
Sought out those to trade pills with and even buy them from//bad sign
I sought narcs from my dentist and lied twice//bad sign for me
I started worrying about whether i had a problem or not but only for a few days and then forget about it again
I would try to cut back my use only to end up taking as much or more than
usual//i had no control
I sought out this forum for help...most have a problem when they google an iternet site on addiction and post...but it is a good thing
keep posting///lots of support here//also a pain forum here too on Medhelp//some can use narcs as presrcibed without mental addiction.//some can not//I could not
Good morning & thank you for taking the time to read my post & respond.. I am new here so not sure how to reply to posts etc??? but I will figure it out along the way. I had such a rough night as I did not allow myself to take a 5th pain pill.. I wanted to sleep & it hard to get good sleep on the meds, but I was feeling ill & my stomach was so upset all night & I woke up feeling quite ill... As usual i took my medication 1st thing because I do need it for pain as when my pain comes back its strong & takes over my life ( pretty much like the pain pills)
Why is it that some people are able to take pain killers & not become addicted.. I just do not understand that??? Like I said in my post I have never been addicted to anything in my life except cigs & that to me was bad enough but I just dont understand how anyone could take pain kilers on a daily basis & not become addicted or dependent???
Well I am legally disabled & have been for over 10 years due to my chronic pain issues. I am going to start a part time job today to help my low income situation a lil better but to be honest it is because the meds that I am able to do a work at all... normally my pain is so terrible that I cannot even think clear or function normally. I just wanted to die & I do believe eventually I would have tried to end it all if I had to live in such severe pain & I am used to pain.. have lived with it for about 20 years now but with each passing year I find I hurt more than the last & I end up with a "NEW" Chronic complaint. So I dont see any light at the end of the tunnel for me to stop taking pain meds. I would certainly be willing to try surgery if that is an option? But like i said nothing long term has been addressed as if I have a terminal illness & all they can do is make me comfy. I honestly hate my life & I wish I knew how to make it better... I have a wonderful Husband who is very supportive & active in my health care. I can talk to him about anything & he is always there to listen... that mean the world to a person who suffers in pain daily but i fear he will not always be able to cope & I know he is worried about my dependancy to pain meds but he knows they do help me also so I stress about his concerns as well & although I am thankful to have such a wonderful supportive partner in life I also feel it is very unfair to him to see his wife live this way cause he really doesnt know what to do for me but him just being here for me is very important to me & I do appreciate his support & help always!!!
Well wish me luck today as I attempt to work & earn some extra $$ as we so need it & I feel good to be able to get out of the house & do something that makes me feel human.
I just dont know what to do at this point... part of me says Im ok & I can control this & reality tells me there is a serious problem developing right before my eyes. I do believe once Iam clean from the pain meds I will not have any issues with craving them or seeking them to help me cope with life... Right now I believe I have become dependent because I take them daily & getting off of them I know is going to be very tough & Im not sure if I am just saying that because I dont want to admit to myself that I am addicted but I believe I am in touch with reality ... I guess I will know when the time comes to get off the meds & try to resume a "Normal" life but I also know as long as that pain is still there the minute I feel it breaking thru I will want a pill... If i can get relief thru surgery I would def. take that option as I do not want this to be my way of life:(.. NO WAY!!!)
Once again thanks for your time it is greatly appreciated & then some ;)
Wishing you a blessed day & feel free to vent on me anytime, I am a great listener & try to give decent reasonable advice LOL
I hope u did well that day...that is all we can do is try...and i do know how u feel with pain...i have pain like elctric shocks in my hands the past few days coming from my neck....new one...couldbnt drive yesterday so missed work as i drive all day...good thing i have a job where it is ok to miss or i would lose it..went to the chiropractor and it is better today...she was worried and that worried me...she wants me to see my neuro but last time i did surgery was mentioned as only route...and i am not doing that again
For me//the pills would not have stopped the shocks in my hands..nor the tight muscles involved with my pain...so maybe i was lucky..i couldnt say they made me stop hurting,,and they made my life hurt and i became depressed////pain is depressing as well but being broke and hiding, isolating was painful to me as well...but i used them i think to work..never took em after 5 pm..it was the nrg i craved...but when i started having to hunt for them and worry about running out all the time..it started to control my life...i like being in control of my life so i let go..i no longer felt good about myself and i didnt trust my decisions anymore cos the pills had taken over my thought processes//i wasnt in there anymore
we r all different and all u can do is what ur gut tells u to do..listen to what ur body and mind tells u///cos very often ur gut feelings r right
Wow.. I am sorry to hear of your latest complaint & you are right pain meds would not have help you.. Im no doc but kinda sounds like nerve issues & I can imagine that being very painful & annoying... I hope it can be resolved so you dont have to endure that again or miss work, but that is good you are able to miss when you need to without losing your job. As far as you said about meds giving you energy, they do slightyly give me some to get my day started. I tried to work at a cleaning job a few days ago... I got thru the 1st day ok... but the next OH MY GOD.. I could hardly get out of bed but i managed & I took my meds & then went back to the house to finish up cuz we need the money so bad, well i worked about 2 & 1/2 hours the 2nd day & that was all I could take... I was miserbale, sore & could barely move even with the pain meds. I guess I am on disability for a reason?? It does depress me at my age & I am unable to hold any type of job & I really do want to work & earn some money but i have come to realize that I just cant do it anymore, my body wont allow me no matter how much I want to. I cant give up my disabilty bennifets, the money isnt enough to survive but the medical is what I need the most... I could never ever pay for the doctor visits or my medication. I am currently under the care of 3 doctors & get medication from all 3.. One of my meds is an injection i take weekly for my arthritis, that runs 2,000.00 a month for 4 shots, that alone i could never afford.
Its just difficult for me to accept that I am limited on what I can do & now I am having to deal with depending on medictaion to make it thru the day... When I wake up in the morning the 1st thing i do is get my pain meds... I literally feel like total crap until i have taken one & it kicks in. After that I can manage but i still have little motivation or energy. The meds help a little with that but not like I have seen in other people when they take pain meds.
The other night when I forced myself to skip my night dose cuz i wanted to rest I got really ill feeling in my stomach & woke up feeling the same way & probably worse, I did feel much better after taking my meds & lord knows I dread the day that I do stop taking them as I already know I will be down for a minute or two!!!
Oh well today is a new day & all I can do is try the best that I can to accomplish something so i can feel better about my current situation... I just want to be somewhat normal again & I have to say I really dont recall what that feeling is like anymore???
Well I hope you have a better day & try to hang in there the best you can cuz thats all you can do... I hope you get some answers to whats going on with you & hope you get the relief you need to function daily... God Bless & thanks for taking the time to keep in touch ;)
bye 4 now... Have a great day!!!
I have rheumatoid arthritis and work on my deformed feet about 50 hours a week.I take methotrexate 7 weekly and it seems to keep my arthritis under control.
Over 5 months ago i quit tylenol#3 because i found myself needing more and more for pain relief and also was looking forward to the high more than the pain relief.I was taking about 8-10 daily.
At first i got all the withdrawal symptoms including severe rebound pain,but i perservered with Tylenol Extra strength 2 every 4 hrs max 4000mg/24hrs alternating with ibuprofen 400mg 2 every 6 hours max 2400mg/24 hrs and got through withdrawal pain.
I now have less pain than before because opiates cause strong rebound pain.The otc pain meds keep me under control and do not cause nearly as much rebound.
I am almost pain free and before while on opiates often needed pills in the middle of the night to keep going.I do not wake up with pain any longer.
I just thought I would tell my story in case it helps you.
Im so sorry to hear you are in so much pain. Your story is a bit like mines. I have fybromyalga, arthritis, chronic fatigue syndrome, emphysemia and pulmonary histiocytosis x. I am also registered disabled and like you i need the disability benefits. I know its horrible when we realise we cant even hld down a job but as you said your not registered disabled for nothing. I also think a cleaning job is too heavy work, maybe something a lot lighter. Cleaning tends to put our muscles into spasm and play havoc with the bones. I turned to smoking heroin as i hadnt been diagnosed with the hystiocytosis and the emphysema so they all thought i was exagerating the pain. By the time they realised i was in severe pain, it was to late. I had a full blown serious heroin addiction.I like you tried part-time jobs but realised it just wasnt going to happen and had to accept it, but it did feel bad, knowing i couldnt even work 2 days a week. I couldnt even change my own bed or do the hoovering or id be in bed for a week. Anyway, they prescribed me dihydrocodeine and tramadol for the pain. I hated the tramadol and the dihydrocodeine i either took in handfuls or im sorry to say, swapped for heroin. When i came off the heroin, i came off my pain meds as well, but my life was a misery, i was in agony, i could hardly function. Then a special friend on this forum told me that i didnt have to suffer just because i was an addict and i realise that now. But the thing is its a fine line between using and abusing. But now i take my 6 dihydrocodeine a day and dont abuse them like i used to as i realised if i did nothing was ever going to change.I also take a sleeping tablet to help me sleep as i really dont sleep much, i can go 3 days with no sleep. It was hard but iv managed to stick to my prescribed dose. I also found the pain wasnt as bad as our minds play tricks on us to try and get more drugs. What im basically saying is i knew i had to stop abusing my meds and take them properly or my life was going to be a misery but knew i needed some sort of painkiller but it couldnt be heroin. I think you should try and discuss your options with your dr if you have a good one as things do seem to be spiralling out of control. But you still may have to take some sort of pain killer for life. Some of us just have to, its the controlling it that becomes the problem. Im sorry if iv not been much help but i just wanted to say ill be thinking of you and hope you find something to help you as you dont have to suffer all the time.......Kim
Hello, Good morning & thank you for taking the time to write me & tell me your story & the advice... It is always welcome & deeply appreciated. I am also taking methotrexate along with Enbrel injections... They do help my arthritis pain as I have chronic chest pain caused by my arthritis & its extremely painful & scarey, but as long as I am able to take the metho & Enbrel it does seem to be controled... Its funny how my arthritis meds dont help my neck pain at all, only pain killers do & pain killers do not help my arthritis pain... weird huh???
Yea house cleaning is very physical work & I just cannot do that type of work.. its hard enough for me to keep up with my own household stuff let alone doing that for work.
I just want so bad to feel like I am able to do something... I feel like my life has been cut so short by all this pain I live with daily that I cannot provide my family with much of anything!!! I hate it!!! I hate my life & the health issues I have been so cursed with!
I have so many issues for my age, I dont see how I am alive??
If i dont commit to quitting smoking cigs I am pretty sure i will die young like my Mother... She died almost 10 years ago at age 53 from lung cancer after suffering many long years with MS. I dont want my children to go through that or see me go through that & I know in my heart that is where i am heading if I dont find a way to quit smoking!!!
I have so many problems that i just feel like crawling in a hole & telling everyone to forget about me.. It isnt fair to anyone that loves me to go thru this!!!
I have to make another appointment with my primary care doc... I have had pain in my tail bone for probably 3 months now.. Pain management doc has no clue why its hurting because once again there was no injury just started hurting one day & hasnt went away, so sitting is very hard to do & when i get up from sitting the pain is so bad from relieving the pressure. Both of my legs are completely numb from the thigh down, has been that way for a few years now.. no one knows why & that is so frustrating for me as i am sure you know what I am saying.. its NOT in my head!!! recently I noticed that i have an area on my ankle that burns like a bad cut ( only when I touch it) that has probably goin on for a month or more now.. yesterday I noticed the same burning pain on the front of my right leg... GEEEZ.. what the heck is that?? how do i explain that to my doc without sounding stupid or crazy??? I dont know what it could be but it does concern me as it is in 2 places now & more to come im sure.. I dont know???
I have Macular Degeneration so my vision is shot. Im not sure there is any hope for me? I just cant take living this way, its so pointless & stupid already, but i have to be here for my kids.. they are why i get out of bed, they are my reason for living in this hell!!! If i didnt have them lord knows I cant say i wouldnt have just ended it all by now!
Its terrible to say but one thing I do not believe in is suffering... no one should suffer with chronic pain & illness.. thats how i survived my mothers death.. she had already been suffering so long with MS that getting terminal cancer was the answer to her prayer in order for her suffering to end & thats what got me through losing her!
Life sure isnt easy or fair & I know I should be thankful for what I have etc.. I am to a degree but my quality of life ***** & like i said my kids are what i live for & i dont care how much I suffer as long as I am here for them.
I hope you continue to feel better, that gives me hope.. thats all i have!!!
God Bless you each & everyday & give you the strength you need to get through.
Thanks again for your time:) & have a fantastic day!!!
Good morning & thank you very much for taking the time to write... LOL.. I think I got confused on who posted what LOL... along with my physical problems my mind isnt nearly as sharp as it used to be... It takes a lot more for me to register & remember anything or everything!
Oh well Im not sure how this site works as far as posting comments etc?? I will learn it as I go.. but I can honestly say I feel better when I am able to vent, specially to people who are like me & know what pain can do to your life. Its hard on a family that has to live with a person in chronic pain... I try to keep my fears & concerns to myself.. Its not easy but i know its hard for people to understand, specially when you appear "Normal" on the outside.
I have been prescribed pain meds in the past before my neck was as bad as it is.. they didnt help my pain so I didnt bother taking them, but when my neck got so bad where i couldnt even think i knew I had to do something if I wanted to be able to function. After my MRI I was sent to pain management.. since then all I do is take pills to keep my pain under control... I cannot honestly say i would still be here if i didnt have pain meds... My neck pain is that bad without medication!!! All I could think of was ways to end my life because the pain is too much!!! So know I depend on pain killers to get thru the day, I can never go back to being in that pain again.. NEVER!!! I dont know if surgery is an option?? I dont know what my options are but im wiling to try anything if I can get permenant relief? I dont know? All i can do is try to figure it out.. day by day, thats all we can do!
Thanks again & hope you have an awesome day!!! God Bless
I can feel your dilema and pain. It's a grey area between addiction and dependence but it's clear you're not a typical addict like you see here or like I was. I think by the way you describe the pain, you will need to take strong meds, unless some other treatment come along. I too have neck pain (cervical disc disease), but it's not nearly as bad as yours and I get by with excesizes from PT and some advil. A true addict loves the feeling of drugs or hates the feeling without them. Some people like you who are not typical addicts and are pain patients can develope a more serious addiction but only some. Addiction comes in many shades and degrees and don't let anyone pidgonhole you or give you a cookie cutter diagnosis. I was a serious dope fiend on heroin , methadone and many other opiates for 30 years and cut the last linc to all that by quitting smoking last year. It's not easy but so worth it. You seem like a nice person and I hope the best for you and to hear more about your situation. all the best
Good morning & thanks for writing.. Its nice to know that people actually take the time to read these posts & offer advice or any info that may help someone who needs it. I agree with you in what you said about addiction & dependancy.. I do believe I am more dependant on the drugs to give me relief more than I am addicted to the "BUZZ" to be honest I do not really get much of a buzz as they are working on my pain... Occasionally i feel a lil doped up & groggy but for the most part I may get a lil boost of energy because i seem to wake up in the moring hurting so bad & feeling just plain yuk because I have went several hours without taking anything for pain... I have realized that I cannot really take anything after 6 pm or I will not get the rest that I need so I try to take my last pill no later than 6 pm. So by the time morning rolls around my brain is telling my body that its been awhile since the last dose & I cannot function or start my day until my meds have kicked in... I have never in my life had to depend on a drug to make me feel ok but like you said some people have to take them to get any relief & to be honest knowing that i have been able to get some relief from the meds... I certainly do not want to ever go back to being in the pain I was in... But God do I hate waking up & feeling sick everyday because I have no pain meds in me yet... feels like i wake with the flu every morning!!! I hate it & I am very depressed... I am not sure if pain meds cause depression to worsen? I am confused right now about that cuz i dont know if I am depressed because I have become dependant on the drug or if the drug is making my depression worse?? I cant tell?
I try to just focus on today & worry about tomorrow when it gets here but this is no way to live & I am sick of being sick!!! But people like you who take the time to acknowledge really does help & I do greatly appreciate it :)
Thanks again & wish you a prefect day!
Hi how are you today. I replied to you the last time under my husbands name (stilltrying). I feel your pain i really do. I think you, like me must take some kind of pain meds just to function, but as i said before i had to draw the line between using and abusing. I found some of my pain wasnt as bad when i stopped self medicating and took my prescribed dose. I never thought this would happen as i had been in pain for so many years like you. But my brain was also tricking my body, causing more pain so it would get more drugs. I heard peole saying to do some excercise and thought "no way" i can hardly get about the house without being in agony, but one day after about 2 weeks into c/t my legs were in agony but i had to go to my mums, which isnt far away, a 5min walk. I started walking with tears in my eyes as i was so sore but by the time i got to my mums, my legs felt better, not comletely pain free, but definately better than before i started walking and i couldnt believe it. So it definately helped. I also completely understand the feeling that everyone thinks its in your head because you look "normal" whatever normal is. I like you thought "why me" I was in my 20s when my chronic fatigue was diagnosed and hadnt turned 30 when my histiocytosis was diagnosed and felt i was cursed. I also know that if i dont stop smoking it would kill me quicker rather than sooner so im going to work on that soon with a friend who needs to stop too here on MH (she maybe thinks iv forgot but i havent lol) so i hope she remembers. I also felt like i would rather have died than suffer a life of pain but i too had kids to look after, who needed me so i kept on going. But iv come to realise and accept that this is my life and i have to accept it even though at times i hate it but even though my kids are grown up, they still need me, my husband needs me, and now my grandchildren need me. So keep fighting and try not get too depressed. I know your pain so i can say this knowing how you feel. But it sounds to me as if you are starting to get depressed and opiates are a depressant so they dont help when you feel like that. Do you take anti-depressants ?, sorry if you have maybe said but i like you have a terrible memory due to the treatment iv had. Maybe you do need them, i dont really see anti-depressants as a hard drug if you need them. The numbness in your legs i also suffer but i think thats down to my C/F. Have you been tested for chronic fatigue. Its very hard to diagnose but theyv come a long way in testing for it, or they can sometimes tell just with your previous history of illnesses. Mines was started with either glandular fever which i didnt even know id had until the blood tests showed it, or the amount of times iv had meningitis or meningitis like illnesses. You should maybe get that looked it, im not sure, its worth a try. When we have pain like we do, anythings worth a try. Anyway i hope your feeling better or at least not any worse. But keep fighting, fight fight fight with all your worth, and keep hoping. Sometimes its all we have and if we dont have that we have nothing.....Good luck and keep posting if it helps and let us know how your getting on....Kim
Hello Kim... Thank You for writing back & yes it does help to talk to others who understand & "get it" Unless you live this life of constant pain you cant really understand how it is, but people who come here do understand & thats why I have joined this site/post because its just too much to put this all on my family & its not fair to them!
I do not take anti depressants.. I really do not like to take medication as it just simply scares me! I watched my mother take so much medication only to still see her suffer & I believe half the stuff she was taking, she didnt really need & so I am more nervous & cautious after seeing that. I do take what I know helps. As far as getting tested for c/f... I am honestly at the point where I dont want to know... I dont want to hear that I have another disease, syndrome or chronic illness!!! I am so over it!! I just want to live & be happy with the life I have.. I am tired of trying to figure out all the issues when in fact there probably isnt much any doctor can do for me... Dont get me wrong I do appreciate the advice & info & I know that there is probably more that the doctors have missed but I just cant do it anymore!!! Right now i feel i have too much on my plate.. physically, emotionally & mentally. I wasnt sure if the pain meds could cause depression to worsen? I truthfully dont want to take anymore meds.. I realize I do have to take some, i mean theres no choice sometimes. It just seems that its easier for docs to write a script than to actually take the time to find what is wrong! Thats why I alwats dread going to the doctor & now I have to make an appointment with my primary care to followup on my leg numbness, the chronic pain in my tail bone that appeared out of no where that started about 3 mo ago. & the burning stinging sensation under my skin that I have recently noticed... an area on my left ankle & an area on my right shin.. I posted a post about that also because I have no clue what & where that came from??? I too am focusing on quitting smoking:).. Its very important to me that I try to make my lifestyle healthier & I am the only one who is in control of that. I am going to talk to my doc about my options for surgery on my neck... I would rather try that & try to get of the pain meds, if they can tell me I would get relief... But no one has really said that surgery would make it better so I dont know? But If I can go forward with that I would like to quit while I am in the hospital... I think that would the best way for me to quit as I am a heavy smoker & the more I think about quittkng the more I smoke!!! Geeez!! its just crazy huh?
I have no idea why I am having this pain in my tail bone.. Doesnt seem the pain meds really help that, but its very painful to sit & when I get up from sitting Oh my God!!! its just terrible! I have had no injury to that area & I have done some research on it & most of the time pain in that area is caused by injury but not in my case... I tried to ignore & hope it would go away but as with everything it has stayed & continued to cause me terrible pain.
I really do appreciate you taking your time to help me feel better & being able to vent is really helpful too ;) I do try to stay positive & although its very hard to do, I try to make the best of what my life has become.. I know i just have to find a way to accept the life I have been given & be thankful for the blessing that I do have... Its just hard to do when you want to die!
Day by day is all I have.. all we have!
Thank you again & please feel free to vent anytime... I know it helps me feel better & I am always here, so vent away!
Wishing you a very blessed day!
Glad you found this forum and you are in great hands with worried!! Hope you are feeling better today~~~~~sara