Am I going backwards!!!!

[abbysue]

I'm confused, bewildered, afraid and unsure of ever, ever embracing life again.  I am on starting day 11 and woke up on day 10 and felt like since I had such a great day the day before it would only go downhill from here!  WRONG!  I had a day from hell!  Not only did my back hurt so bad the pains I had in the beginning flared up and I spent the whole day just completely  sick!  I had acid indigestion, headache, hurt all over AGAIN, plus if that wasn't enough RLS hit me not just in my legs but my arms! I was sick all day.  Finally couldn't stand the pain anymore so  I find myself taking another bath (which I though those back to back bathes were done)!  WHAT IS GOING ON?  AT THAT MOMENT I WANT TO DROP EVERYTHING AND JUST TELL THE WORLD TO STOP I WANT TO GET OFF.  So I get up and go to bed at 7:30  pm  after taking a hot bath, go to bed and take my last ambien and guess what?  I tossed and turned for an hour.  Finally it kicked in and I finally woke up at 12:30 am.. I'm asking what in the world is going on?  I'm just about ready to go to bed and stay there for the next 2 weeks until something happens to indicate this HELL is over.  My beloved dog that is the world to me won't even sleep in my bed and she has for 8 years and all of a sudden she stays in the living room away from me.  I feel like I'm loosing everything and gaining more pain.  Not sure I can handle much more.

[clean_in_ks]

Abbysue....recovering from almost 3 yrs of opiate use will take more than a few weeks for your central nervous system and the pain receptors all over your body to "normalize" and heal.  
Don't be discouraged.  A flow chart for recovery isn't a straight line of continuous smooth improvements.  We have good days....and then we have a tough one. Then another good day, then another bad one.  It's not like healing from the flu where you get better every day.  In one of your threads, I suggested many things that would help you and thought perhaps you would benefit from reading it again.  Here's the thread:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/Getting-off-hydrocodone/show/2971196

Getting some walking in or mild exercise will help as will music.  The rebound pain can last for 30+ days as your pain receptors begin to heal.  The older we are and the longer we put opiates in our bodies, the longer it takes to feel better.  If you can lower your expectations a little, it will help with your frustrations.
I have posted a photo of a "typical flow chart" of recovery in my photos if you go to my profile page you can view it there.  Keep on keeping on, girl.  Every day you don't put a pain pill in your mouth, you're making progress (even when you don't feel like it)☺

[wonbyone]

Clean_in_ks you have such good advise.  I've read this before and just came across your answer again.  i've also been trying to walk like you said, get some fresh air.  Listen to music.  Anything anyone on here suggests I try to do.  I have good days and bad ones.  I had a really good one two days ago and the next day was the WORST one ever.  Not necessarily physical but depression and mental exhaustion.  Thanks for the constant uplift from all of you.  I have the urge now and then, but I think of the horror and the urge flees.

[TopChop]

Sounds extremely fustrating, I can feel it from here. What are you w/d from? Day 11 you gotta be near the end of your hell, your body is just getting rid of all that crap and healing itself. Stay strong!

[abbysue]

I was taking hydrocodone. Seemed like my Dr. Got me down to 325 and I think it also had a 7.5 in front of that. Dr. Put me on before I was to have back surgery so that didn't last long. Got an MRI NOW something will be done for my pain. Then the very month I was to have the back surgery I ended up in the hospital with my heart and had to have 3 stents. That same scenario happened again exactly one year later. I ended up having another two heart stents one year later to the month. Once again my surgery was cancelled and I continued on pain medicine. Well now it's time to have my surgery and my doctor says no surgery for one year until we see how you do without your blood clotting medication. That falls through and I have to wait 6 more months. By this time I had been on it for two and a half years. After all that time I got to the point where I knew that I wasn't myself and I just wanted off prior my doctor had decreased the amount I took significantly but it wasn't helping me to get off. All I can say is this better end very soon or I may not be able to stand much more. About the time you think you have it licked it all starts back again all of it and not that I do not understand p