The Dr. can't help you unless you give him all the info. (Just like you did on this forum) Good luck.
Thanks for the comment. I know you are right. I guess I`m just worried that it wasn`t the cause and that it was the cause !! and also I suppose its something I find hard to tell people I`ve done. Its a bit easier on here?
I agree you should come clean with your doctor but you might find that your primary care physician is kinda clueless about drug abuse. There are specialists in the addiction field, usually but not always psychiatrists, who might be a better source of information for you. Your PCP can probably refer to one. No need to be embarrassed. You did it. It's over. Lots of people have done the same thing or else there wouldn't be all these treatment centers, would there?
admitting your problem is the first step.... and i am so happy that you have. my opinion is, is that you be totally honest with your doctor.. yeah... it aint easy, but if your sincere in your efforts then it is really important. i not only told my doctors and asked that they never prescribe me any opiates, i called my pharmacies and told them NEVER to release any to me. i know if i wanted them bad enough again i could get it, but i know i would never change my primary doctor... i feel being open to others as you have done here is very cleansing.
i wish you so much strenght... you are among wonderful people here!
peace and blessings.... stars
Sorry to hitch a ride on someone elses post but everytime I try to post my own question it says the thing is full. I feel like this Ultram has a bit of speed in it and I hate that feeling if I didnt I would be a coke addict not a downer fiend. Does this feeling go away its too much like ritalin which I stopped taking cause I absolutly hate this feeling, I miss my percs and vics already. Badd
the consensus on this forum is that ultram is a more severe addiction than vicodin, norco. The withdrawal is more prolonged and more severe......be careful.......hjp
Thanks everyone for taking the time to comment. Its really appreciated. I go for a blood test in an hour and then I guess I`ll see if I can find myself a psychiatrist to talk to.
Trust me... I know from a big addiction. ULTRAM is nothing to mess with. It takes a little longer to fet hooked on, but VERY long to get off of. Horrible withdrawl (worse than any Opiod-based drugs I've been addicted to.) If I were you, I'd put that ULTRAM away now. I think the reason It is SO addictive is that it makes you feel normal X10. You will be in a great mood, ready to tackle any problem, and feeling no pain. it was almost 2 weeks of pure hell for me. I was up to 15 to 20 per day after only 3 months of use/abuse. Good luck!
Hey guys, I have to say I'm the smartest kid alive. I'm staying clean with the oxy so why not try cocaine??!! what an idiot I am, anyway, I tried it, and I DIDN'T LIKE IT, I didn't do much at all, it was enough to feel it but I still didn't like it, and then in the morning, I was SOOO jittery, my nerves were shot, is that normal?? it was awful coming down from it, but I thought I would feel fine in the morning. Anyway, on a good note, I definitely without a doubt didn't like it. And I have stayed clean from all narcotics. I have also gained 7-8 pounds of muscle back from going to the gym, so all is going well and I feel great. !! I hope everyone is doing well, and please post often, I know I will be here, I'm not even close to being out of the dark yet, I am now realizing that this will be a life long battle, but it is going to be the toughest in the near future, probably for the next 6 months. But I'm doing well and I"m determined.........
Glad you don't like coke, but it's a narcotic for sure! The aftermath is so bad, that it overcomes the high- at least for me. You'll feel better when it's out of your system. You need to give it 72hours and it should be out. You're likely not getting sound sleep with it in your system either. Take some unisom, have a glass of wine(not 10) and you should feel better in a few days. Also, BIG
Okay, the "post a comment" cut me off.
BIG depression. Take the L-tyrosine, helps a lot. Good job staying away from the pills. We'll be here.
It's good to see you around here again. I've used cocaine but never got hooked on it for some reason. I prefer opiates and only use the stimulants when I need to do something that needs me to be kind of "wired". It may sound strange but I can get about the same effect from ephederine(Mini Thins)which are legal and a whole lot cheaper! It's like some people go nuts over tobacco and get hooked immediately, yet I can enjoy an occasional cigarette. It drives my poor wife crazy because she's a two pack a day smoker with lung cancer and can't seem to quit them.
I sometimes wonder what kind of world we would have if there were no addictions at all. Think about it! Sooner or later, we would get so bored that...oh well, who knows?
thank you both, and I agree J.B, if there were no addictions, or no temptations, life would be far to boring. Ketta I feel fine actually, I felt fine later that day, but I was really shake when I had woken up that morning, weird......anyway, I definitely wasn't waiting for my next line.....I'm doing pretty well now, but the first couple of days at work have been awful, I'm in sales and when your depressed....its two total opposites. anyway, I hope all is well with both of you. Take care.
I never tried Cocaine during my active addiction or fear I would become drug addict go figure,,,so I just continued to shoot myself full of demerol and whatever else,,my mom had a terrible time with smoking I quit very easily and she had emphysema,,I always wonder what my life would have been like without my addiction,,,hmmmmmmmmm love cin
I wonder about that same thing once in a while...what would my life have been like without my addiction(s). The several times that I did get heavy into a 12 step program, I found myself slowly pulling away from my wife and kids. It scared me to think that I could do that, especially when I saw so many fellow addicts in divorce procedings when they stayed clean for a while.
If I could change anything about my life it would be to never have been given my first dose of morphine on the battlefield thirty two years ago. But then again my whole life would have to be restructured to accomodate that one change. When I think about my kid's and grandkids smiles....I say nope, don't change anything!
very heartfelt, can i ask, were you in vietnam? I think a few of you here, were in vietnam, but I'm not sure. I come from a military background(my family)i have never been in the military, but my grandfather was a sergeant under mussolini in Africa, my brother was a sergeant in the Army (special forces) and my mother was also in the military during vietnam, but I don't know what her rank was. My brother is now a fireman and loves his job, he is a different breed and a great human being. Anyway, just curious, but if you were, know that I have the most respect for you, I really, truly do. You have been an incredible voice of reason in this forum and I can't tell you how much that means to me. thank you so much
Ya know I did think about it and had it not been for my addiction I would have never met my husband and you know how much I cherish him and my kids...they would not be who they are if I hadn't met doug...nope I wouldn't change a thing either, love cin
See, it isn't so bad after all! We still have so many tools to work with if only we'd try. You don't acquire those "tools" by living the perfect life. None of us would even be here for that matter, if we were saints. Even the least of us has a world of knowledge and needs to be heard and appreciated.
Yes, I spent eleven months in Viet Nam. But you know, I spent several days in the VA hospital last summer and was in grief over the many Vets who have no one. Just waiting to die! I really do feel grateful that I have what I have. But for the grace of God, there go I! It's hard to picture and even care about unless you've seen it firsthand....just like our lives and dealing with addiction.
Thank you once again for steering me back to remembering what I have to be grateful for, all the gifts and tools I've been given to deal with whatever pops up in my path. I spend a lot of time at the VA due to my job. As I walk by the rows of people , mostly men, waiting to be seen, helped, cared about, some there with family, many, too many with no one I think of a song by John Prine, called " Hello in There". I try to make eye contact and at least smile and acknowledge them. Some days it really breaks my heart. I waste a lot of time wishing I could go back to certain points in my life and have a "do over". But of course it would be on my terms and maybe I am indeed exactly where I am supposed to be at this point and all that **** has brought me here to this point. So change a thing, nope me neither I guess. IR.
Oops sorry Kip, sorry everyone! That post was from me, Kip left the forum up and I mindlessly posted under his log in. Duh IR
I thank you for so eloquently expressing the emotion that I could not! I really do have it in my heart to help my fellow man(oh, how trite!). No, just saying "hello" and a few minutes of communication and a handshake can make all the difference in the world. I don't think that I could behave like this day after day but, I'd like to think that it's in my nature to be able to love and care about people. I think that we are born with this feeling but that living life in general makes us rather cynical and uncaring.
Thankfully, we mature and grow and appreciate the very things we so neglected due to ignorence years ago! Enjoy.
hey were you complenting me or my wife who posted by mistake under
my name? the complement is probably for my wife, irish rose! either
so are you still getting grease under your fingernails? the past couple of days i've actually had some work at my job. spring break has left me without student workers. i hate to admit it, but it kind of felt good to sweat and huf & puff. i seem to have gotten out of touch with the physical side of the job.
keep an angel on your shoulder
hey guys as usual your posts are written so nicely,,,i do have alot to be grateful for and It's not that I forget I am just so overcome with this and that to really stop and smell the roses and eacy day i get out f bed I say I'm gonna read more to Alec or Take Jen somewhere and then the day whizzes on by and i didn't take the time to smell the roses again,,,but I'll tall ya this,,,everynight when I put these kids to bed and kiss doug good bye when he leaves for work I never ever forget to thank God for what he has given me,,,love cin
I also spend a lot of my time living in the past and wishing i could start all over again. Take me back about 10-years, then hit the restart button, if i only knew...
JB, I'm afraid of getting clean in a way because my husband is choosing not to go that route. I'm afraid of the big huge barrier it will build between us. I know this isn't healthy, plus, it's no good for the kids, but i can't help but be afraid!
(((HUGS))) to all!!!