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An Awesome 69 Days Clean Today!!

I can't believe it has been 69 Days...it feels like just yesterday. The best thing about the clean time now and being free is that I actually lose track of the days since I've taken a pill! In the beginning I was counting the days, the hours, the minutes, the seconds and now, I have to look at my profile to know how many days it has been! I still get the emotional feelings, I've noticed it is mostly around the time that I am going to have my monthly cycle, and I get very irritable, but as many of you have told me, just step back and take a breath and forgive myself as it will pass. I feel amazing in the morning. I love my coffee and the time that I spend with my 22 month old baby is just amazing. We went to the ocean this weekend, and I enjoyed the peace and serenity and I actually FELT it and became one with it. Running on the sand with my son and watching him play and building sand castles with him was amazing. I haven't felt that free and at peace with myself and my family in a long time. It was a strange kind of awakening for me and I can't explain it. It is nice to feel something again and not have to remember to grab my pills or freak out that I forgot them or what have you. It was much needed family time together, and it was much needed time for me and my soul. We all woke up this morning a little happier and a little less stressed out. And I woke up this morning kind of feeling as if I were reborn. Might sound a little strange, and I can't put in to words how it feels, but it is wonderful. Im not sure what happened to me out there on that cloud covered beach, but I suddenly can't wait to attend Church on Sunday, and I can't wait to take my 22 month old son with me and start getting him involved in Church. Anyway, I just thought I would share my experience. For newer people looking to kick the addiction, it is so liberating to get rid of the very things that hold you down and control your existence.
5 Responses
Avatar universal
Hey Hey  a big congrats on 69 days clean!!!!!  it always makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside to read a post like this.....being chained to a pill bottle is no way to live.....just keep doing what your doing it is working for you....My relationship with God grew strong threw the process yours will to...Jesus came to set the captives free and there isent much more captivating the active addiction....my wife just celebrated 27yr clean.....if you ask her she will tell you it is all from the power of the shed blood of Jesus.....it works for her....i need a little more structure so that and the N/A progam keeps me clean  im sure you have heard this allot but get involved with some sort of aftercare  it is a critical step to keep you clean  im so happy for you these posts help a lot of people  it gives them hope that if you did it so can they...  hope to see you stick around and help others good luck and God bless
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
1 Comments
Thank you Gnarly! I started the whole process with a very POSITIVE attitude! I've gone through withdrawals more than I can count from running out, and this time, I was just done, and wasn't going to let "suffering" get the best of me...I went in positive, and I remain positive. I have attended a couple of N/A meetings and I'm not sure if it just the one that is in my area, but the people there were kind of rude and judgmental, as if my addiction wasn't nearly as bad as theirs. I was the only one with a "little norco addiction" as they called it. I live in a very very small town so there aren't many recovery groups, but I think I may have found my niche with small group of people (7 to be precise) that are very helpful and supportive, loving, caring human beings. They are all around my age with a couple being in their late 40's, early 50's. They call themselves a "life" recovery group. They say they use that because it is a lifelong commitment to abstain from what makes you an addict, and because our whole lives have to recover from becoming and being that addict. There are a couple that were addicted to opiates/painkillers, a couple recovering alcoholics, one that is a recovering sex addict, as strange as that may sound, but they say it's not WHAT you're addicted to, it's that you ARE addicted! It's been very wonderful. I'm glad I found them. And they are all willing to take each others calls or make house calls at any time of day or night. My fiance is in an alcohol program through the probation department and is getting ready to go to the aftercare phase, and I'm hoping with all my heart he will attend this one with me. In addition to the awakening that I've had and the group I've joined and my new found fondness to attend church, I'm so glad that I found this group, I don't know if I would have been able to make it through without all of you, and without being able to help others. I am now thinking of going back to school to become a substance abuse/domestic violence counselor.  
Avatar universal
Hey girl......well it sounds like you found a great support group and it is always good to feel like you fit in..... a small group is always the best .. my home group with N/A is like 9 of us....some friday nights it is just us other it is a room full you never know.....but over the years I have made some great friend that Do care if I succeed that is what is important.....in N/A we make no distinction between drugs we focus on what we ALL have in common where addicts.. that support group is going to be your life line when life on lifes terms gets hard to manage....I am a hopeless dope fiend and drugs have always been my go to to get past stress...im also happy to here your new found love for God  it is a spiritual awaking that makes recovery possible....you sound like you got a recipe for success so keep going to the group and church  it is a winning ticket....we harp on aftercare so much here because we see those that use it and those that dont or try to go it alone  the sad part.....those that dont come here over and over again anyway you have fought a good fight and im sure your one of the ones that makes it...one of the keys to do this long term....''you can only keep it by giving it away'' so offer to others what was offered to you here on the forum...I wish you only the best in your ''new'' life now and going to school to be a counselor is a great idea keep posting for support and to help others it really is a great way to help yourself..........Gnarly
Avatar universal
Hi Congratulations on your 71 days clean. I am just at the start of my clean time, day 3 from Fentanyl. You are lucky you have found a great support group and found God.
You have a second chance and are surrounded by love and the church and have a young son so make the most of it. Gnarly is correct
" You only keep it by giving it away "show love and compassion to others and it is repaid tenfold.
Staying clean needs support and you will find it here and at you Church.
Life is amazing once you are free of the pill count.
Look to the future and not the past.
Sending you lots of hugs xx
4522800 tn?1470325834
What a nice update! Congrats on 71 days now.

It is just a wonderful blessing when we surrender this back to our Lord.
You will see yourself growing and growing more & more. I will have 4yrs this month and ALL the changes I have been doing seems like it has been forever, but it is just because I have taken many steps to get here. Still growing and changing everyday, as I learn more & more. I find myself doing more Bible studying then anything else these days.(again). I have studied addiction in a more scientific way, as you know, to reading what the lord says about the Mind and our Temple. I have repented, been baptized for the 3rd time and have asked for forgiveness many times. I am looking at all of the things I have done from getting high and hanging with certain people throughout my life, to the damage I had done to my body & brain..However, I know most of it can be healed. Sometimes we ask the question "Why" did we do this to ourselves, but we have to remember not to beat ourselves up, as this is a Disease.
I am very happy for You and I think it is good that you and your fiance will be going to these support groups together. Now you both can continue to have such a better future together and when you marry you will be on the same page. Maybe you 2 will have a large Christian family and be very blessed. Hang in and never look back. Proud of YOU!
God be with...
Vickie
1 Comments
Thank you Vickie!! I am super excited to see what the future holds. Although I had been with my pills for many years, I am one of the few that actually remembers life and how it felt before the pills. And I honestly don't even feel as if I ever put a pill in my body, which is weird. Just my mood sometimes swings pretty badly. The only sad thing about my fiance is that he is only going to go to aftercare because he HAS to, as it is part of a court ordered program. And he still drinks, even after all the jail time and probation that he is on and the hurt that he has caused me and his son, and his 20 year old daughter. He hasn't learned one thing from his program except finding away around the sobriety part. He doesn't drink a whole lot, but he still does, and when he does, he doesn't stop until he is totally inebriated. I don't like him when he's "buzzed," he is not the same person, and it's weird, but he doesn't even LOOK the same to me! I've never really known an alcoholic before him, so I don't know what's normal and whats not...I have been seeing a counselor though, and she told me that by staying with him, although he continues with his drinking and behavior, that I am enabling him because I am basically letting him know that there are no consequences to his actions within the sanctity of his castle and his family. I don't know, I don't even know another recovering alcoholic to talk to about this and the closes Al-Anon meeting to me is 45 minutes away. But, I am very positive about my own future, especially with me and my baby. I guess I will figure the rest out when the time comes.
4522800 tn?1470325834
Hi Again.
Bummer. Maybe if he goes to Church with you and gets involved in some Bible studies he would come around. Sometimes we have deep issues that we stuff away in our back pockets and most of these issues we are not even aware of. Going to AA would be better for him, as these meetings seem to be a bit more Spiritual. I agree with your counselor, you might have to put up some Boundaries and let him know you will not put up with this.
You are so right, when we use any mind-altering substances it changes our real personality. I have been reading some books that talk alot about the Frontal Lobe and how diet, sugar, coffee, drugs, booze, tv and so fourth can affect this area too. Maybe, just Maybe, if he knew a bit more about Addiction and the Brain he could get more info on what he is doing to himself and others around him.
Talk to the Pastor and see what they have to offer. I sure hope he does go to Church with you and Meetings. It does take some Time to understand it all, but we do grow more and more with this understanding. Also, the Big thing is too, that eventually we do damage to our Bodies, Heart, Kidneys, Liver, Stomach, Brain & so fourth. These bad habits are grooved in our Brain and we must change the singles to a new but better ones. All of this does not happen overnight or in a month to a yr. It takes Time, time, time & Patience...the 2 words that are spoken alot on here. I will have 4yrs in this month and I look at the ones that have 10 or more yrs. Wow, the knowledge and growth they have made. Just keep Praying that the Lord will wake up his Spirit and that you 2 can grow Spiritually together. To be equally yoked is a good one. I will be Praying for him 2.
Vickie
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