Another Opiate Addict

[BottomFeeder]

Hi,
I'm just one of those people that can't feel happy unless I have some kind of rush going on..Or a pill or something..
I hate my life sometimes..But anything seems good with a pill..I hate my Line of work especially..I know I have a ot to be thankful for..But it's not good enough to make me truly happy..I believe in Christ as well..But I'm human,,I'm going to do stupid things..Because the stupid things I do bring me immense temporary joy.Even if it is a fake feeling of joy
..

Ive been using opiates for around 7-8 years..At different doses(10-100 mg of oxy a day) and I started doing them everyday after the 3rd year. They helped my back and feet..and the depression of working in this slave trade I'm stuck in).Well I have been doing better the past 6 months because of methadone...I did not want to get hooked to Methadone so I would take it a few days and quit...But then I would relapse into the opiates again after a couple weeks or maybe close to a month of being clean one time..So I've been back and forth a few times from oxy to meth to clean to make a long story short..

The last time I started back the Dr. told me I needed to stay on the Methadone at least a year in order for my brain to start working right before I just quit after a couple of days or a week..
Hmmmm!!   From what I have read about Methadone Addicts experiences,,And personally getting to know some of them.. I think being hooked to Oxys sound like the better option,,Oxys are Just harder to get a regular supply.....All this seems fishy !!!!!  to bad I'm just now learning the truth..

The Dr. seems like he has lived to pretty of a life and knows no hardship...The addicts know the real deal,,,I don't want Methadone for a year straight Doc...You do it then Doc!!..Book smarts only go so far in the case of knowing and understanding addictions..He probably thinks we are all bottom feeders anyways..with his pretty life..I just get those vibes off of him..His s*** don't stink...Well it does it's long and brown and it stinks just like the addicts do!!!!

Well I tried something different this time..I've been taking Methadone about a month now.ooops.I figured Maybe there is some truth to what he is saying..Well I have been reading about Methadone on the net..This is all a money racket...It's time to stop...If I get hooked back on Oxys and Opiates then So be it,,,No More Methadone!!!!

Before I got back on Methadone I was clean about a 2 months with the exception of a minor relapse then got back on oxys again after the motherload shiped in..ooops here I go again... Well, now I have been taking 15 mg of Methadone every 1-2 days How ever I have had it all week this week minus 2 days this week...I felt depressed those 2 days..

Now for my question and I guess yall see it coming...
Should I quit cold turkey or do yall think I will experience the major discomfort of withdrawals for several weeks...Should I Tell them at the clinic that I want Suboxane in 4 more days after my last dose of Methadone...Remember The other (3) times I only stayed on methadone for a week or less...and they were a few months apart...And quite a few months ago    
  Thanks,,,
15 mg of Methadone every 1-2 days for a month.

[tryin2makit]

Good luck man hang in there it is hard. I have been on this ride for a long long time. I started with lortabs for energy, I have anemia and am very tired most of the time. At first it was like great I could take a half of a tab and feel great all day. Then it got to the pointt where I needed more. Like always. For me the wd from tabs is almost the same as methadone. I have been on it for 6 mo. And am now 6 days off. if I could just find some energy I would be ok. So stick with it it does get better. I have found its more of a mind over matter thing for me. As long as I am not around tabs I will do ok. Which is hard as my entire family takes them. I am a mother and want to make life better for my children so you find your inner strength and run with it.

[EvolverU]

Hi lollypop1980, this is a really old thread. When you see the little hour glass thing - you've got to check the date (which you want to do w/ other threads in order to understand what's going on and has already been said.) I made the same mistake when I first got here. lol. Just go up to the orange button that says 'Post Question' at the top of the page and start your own thread. You'll get responses that way. Good luck to you.

[lollypop1980]

My boyf has come off meth at 20ml to 8ml suboxone then at 2ml of that swopped to 2ml subutex an now on 0.2 subutex. Waiting to go into week detox. He's been drug free n alcohol free since last match. Miracle. It def makes it easier to swopped down to subs if u can do that. B4 u come off it all. N recommend avoid all other mind n mood alterers coz they take us back to square one in my experience of trying to come off anything. I don't make rational decisions. Ive come off 60ml meth last march to 5ml now. I think your 60mg is tabs is it? Over in UK our 60ml is green liquid meth.

[lollypop1980]

My boyfriend is now on 0.4 subutex n was on suboxone down to 2ml then swopped. N swopped before that from 20ml meth to 8ml of suboxone. Now bin free of any illicit drugs or alcohol since last march. Also come off various other prescribed tablets in meantime. He's happy give u his journey. I'm on 5ml meth come from 60 ml last match also. I think it's gotta b carefully done, in right time for u not others. The w/d r enough to send u round the twist n back using one drug or another. Using another mind alterer to reduce withdrawals while come off another m/a,  is best avoided as much as poss, I think as it alters our mood n mind r thinkin isn't rational n r back to default setting right away. If u an addict like me I love the ease comfort quick fix n my mind is cunning at gettin me back to square one without me bein onto it. I do reckon opiate withdrawals r best controlled thru professionals if u can do that but push for it to reduce where u want it cut down. No rush but don't stagnate. The subutex is easier n a mote gradual way of comin off meth def recommend it

[BottomFeeder]

opiate free 3 days...it's tough..I went 3 days went into shakes...took 20 mg of lara tab..startin over 3 days again...took 10 mg of percs..now im' on another 3rd day...but Now I think I can make it  this time..I don't feel as bad as i did a week ago...still some depression but not to bad..... I still have the same pair I had as before I quit this time as well,but pairs have been known to shrivel up from time to time...I'll try to keep the heat on and see if it keeps that from happening again...  I can already see the difference in the bank so I'm feelin better..My will is getting much stronger.And if anyone has prayed for me keep it up something is working...

[BottomFeeder]

well I got my dose of 10 mg this morning after a week of not having nothing,,,I suppose the withdrawals from the low doses and the short periods i took them led to not having severe symptoms..but rather minor...which is what i was shooting for...Neither do I feel any euphoric effect....I may stay on the methadone at 10 mg for 3 days and then quit cold turkey...I feel then I should not have any if very little withdraw effect..

As a result of me not sticking to their regular program... The lady at the clinic says she will cut me from the program if I don't show up Monday...which is the third day,,especially if I refuse the UA..That will be awesome and work out perfect....See they get mad if they don't get you hooked on 30-120 mg's a day everyday...NO Not ME you can keep your methadone....I know ll this sounds crazy...but by using a short term period of methadone screwing up and going back has cut my habits back big time and I actually quit a couple times...And this time I'm doing it for good

I now believe just as long as you only use methadone no longer than a week-9 days and stay away from it and not get hooked.(after 2 weeks you are getting hooked if not already)..After that the physical withdrawal are gone and the battle of the mind is left to deal with..Finding the will power to stay straight is the hard thing...Especially when all you have is the support of state trained counselors with no history of drug abuse that act like a system (punishment) is a way to help addiction...And so on...
Wish me luck and pray for me..

[BottomFeeder]

Mamyama,,Sorry you are having problems with speed..I don't know what people consider speed these days..But i smoked crack heavy 4-5 years until the lord took the urge from me instantly...Never turned back..But here 10-11 years later I'm on this mess...Guess I should have stayed in church..
So needless to say I realize it takes a great deal of faith and will power to overcome addiction,or growing a set as you call it...But unfortunately it's more complicated than that...Especially when you get dope sick....

Well,i just made a fetynal patch last for 3 days..went a day without and did another that lasted 3 more days..after i said i would not do another...Still no methadone in a week.so guess i did good there..At 10mg of methadone there is no sense of going to the clinic realy...
Maybe the 10 mg doses are the reason i'm turning to other opioids a result of their punishment of low doses...or should I be thankful for that,,I just know I'll be feeling it tomorrow with nothing to ease sicknes.

Originaly i was worried about withdrawls from low doses of methadone for so long..ive had 2 10 mg doses of methadone within 2weeks at 10mg a week..So I'm sure I'm fine from Methadone...I beleive I'm feeling withdrawls from fetynal now..Hell there aint no tellin,.I may take methadone for a week at low doses and just quit if this keeps up...

This is insane.I don't know what I'm withdrawing from,,,I know it's not oxys,,,maybe not methadone,,,but defintley fetynal. I don't even know if methadone will help fetynal,especialy 10mg
I had quit everything for 2 weeks and now I'm worse than I was before I had that accomplishment...

[mamayama]

j

[mamayama]

if you want to be clean then GROW A PAIR !!  There is no magic pill, no magic anything to take that will let you come out of addiction.  It's not easy but HONESTLY the only way to be drug free is DON'T TAKE THE DRUG. I have been struggling with my addiction to speed for 41 years. At times i went 1 year but never more than 2. I know too well that it only takes ONCE to get you started again. It's my new years resolution (again)..There is nothing fun or easy about quitting. Other that the plain fact that I dont want to be a drug addic it the FACT that I know how stupid it is to keep taking drugs. Every time i use it starts inncoently.  I wil Only use if its a special occasion.Only if its free, Only if...You know everytime i re-stsrted I had a "Only If" but I can tell you from experience. "THE ONLY WAY TO BE FREE FROM DRUGS IS TO NOT DO DRUGS"...God!! I hate being a drug addic. I am the one who can actually look inside and see through the front i show.everybody,  I'm disgusted with myself.....i know several people who went for treatments, they all relapsed..but quit again,  maybe the treatments help.  but if you truly dont want to  do the drugs,,then DONT..really grow a pair...

[BottomFeeder]

OMG worried,,
I'm sorry for your loss,,And no it is not your fault...But That is one of the reasons why I cut it into small sections..That stuff is very powerfull and I imagine if you get hooked on those you would probably start takig the whole thing eventually,,Which can kill you especially if that stuff is built up in your body,,,..The half life is probably just as long as methadone... I will never do the patch again,even a half coud kill some people,I had oppurtunities and even now I could get one of those patches...I believe it may have contribited to my methadone addiction rather than curve it as well...So no problem there

And yes I'm very un happy when I have withdrawls...And I was not 100% happy before I tried pills..Infact I have to force myself to endure harsh wether and work like a horse ...Not getting credit..And dealing with a bad back and feet..That is my life..And at first the pills helped it...I do not want to use them as a crutch for hapiness anymore..  And not only that,,,there are days when you are not going to be able to find them....I'm tired of hunting drugs....Not just to get high...But doing pills or methadone  just to feel normal...    

There is a point where we take this stuff just so we can feel normal..If someone says otherwise is a liar,,,But having enough to have no buzz but feel normal sure beats staying in the hot shower for hours or even worse The toilet!!....Even though I'm not really taking the pills anymore,,,But I have no bragging rights for the major pill cut back ...Because I'm on methadone...

The bad thing is I don't have a buzz nor do I feel normal right now...I wonder If I will need the 10mg tomorrow......Wow where are the people that tried suboxone at around here?

[BottomFeeder]

Let me Add That I would rather take the withdrawls over 100 mg perc habbit a day for years over what I felt this moring from a month straight off of a few mg of methadone....

Where is this suboxone page

[worried878]

I had a patient one time...put a patch on him..he took it off and chewed it up when i left his room...5 minutes later he was dead..felt bad for a sec..like i had sumpin to do with it..i did not...he did it to himself..this disease can be a death warrant for some

Are you happy when u use?  just wondering? Most peeps wouldnt seek out an addiction forum if they were overwhelmed with happiness using
Being ready to stop is about the most important aspect to actually stopping..and even then it is hard...chewing up patches is dangerous...but also a sign u r not where u need to be to stop right now...my friend wouldnt stop..now she has brain damage at 42....using again even with brain damage...didnt hit her bottom yet i guess...geez i just wonder what her bottom will be???  a very deep hole, I am thinking

She plays the game, goes to meetings, not now cos she cant drive anymore..but deep down she doesnt wanna stop cos she is miserable...using or not using//she is still miserable...for me using was more painful than stopping..but we r all different..for me, the day I give in is the day I may as well just leave this earth...life is precious and very short....we do with it what we decide to do with it....dunno....for some stopping is not an option...being an addict can suk major hot dogs
Often peeps were unhappy before they used//a long time ago or whatever//they used and felt ok..but the drugs turn on us as a rule as tolerence rises and we dont feel good anymore when we use//just worse...but often working on the issues that caused u to be unhappy before u used helps alot...cos when u stop those issues r still there...lurking..they often do not go away just cos we stop using...working on WHY we use is a very important aspect to recovery..hard work tho for some
I hope u find ur peace in life..we all deserve it..just that sometimes we have to MAKE that peace ourselves..it doesnt land in our laps..I do not believe we make our own luck all the time..I think some were handed a harder road in life than others...easy for someone who has a sweet life with no problems to say "we make our own luck"  I do believe we make our own peace tho..it is in the power of our own mind to be happy or not to be happy..as happiness is a state of mind

good luck and keep posting

[BottomFeeder]

well up until today Iwas off methadone 6 days..It has been harder than I thought...
Although don't start with the at'a boys yet...Because as always,,, I screwed up!!!!

Saturday nght I was a bit tense,Saturday would have been day 2 free from anything..I got the opurtunity to try a clear  50mg fetynal patch..I stuck it on my arm and In about an hour  i was myself again..This patch did not get me high when applying it to my skin..But the next 2 days sum-mon I cut the things in little sections to stretch them out and ate them..I figured it's not methadone so the heck with it..Then wensday i had 30 mg of lauracette in 3 10mg doses...Which brings me to this morning..

I got up and called in and went back to sleep..But I had to get up and go in,I have bills,,I figured I just need more rest ..I do physical work..there is no way i could have worked feeling like that..I hope that was not w.d.'s from Methadone....

So I got up and went and got some methadone..i was nausea,,sore and I had the dookey dooks...And had to work at least 6 hours

They would only let me have 10 mg because I had not been there in 6 days...It helped me do some work and I did'nt't feel as bad..But I didn't really feel like a million bucks either...It's wore off now. I still don't feel as bad but I am tired and having cravings for anything..

The counselors said if I come back 2 days in a row it will go back up to 15-17 mg....I was supposed to get 25 mg a day..but i skipped a day so i was getting 15-17...which was fine ,,or atleast I thought I was ...

But this 10 mg for 11 bucks mess is not fine or even thereputic ...How is that even considered help...Some clinic and help,,I feel like I can eat a percocette about the size of an oreo cookie!!! ..They are punishing me for not giving them my money everday....So they think I will give in to going everyday..

So no, I obviously can't stomach withdrawls...I just wish I could just sleep until they are gone

Trust me It's all about getting customers and making money. I see and feel the truth now...If you are on pills and you want to quit...Take my advice...do not try Methadone clinics...You are better off just taking a pill or 2 a day...
otherwise you will trade a that little problem for much bigger one!!!

[avisg]

What is going to happen when he goes off the sub there are WDs coming off of them. As well for some of our members they have been severe.In the "health pages" there is the a page on different peoples experiences on sub some good some not so good.

[RowdLoud]

I would think suboxone would be the way to go since you are having so much trouble staying off anything.  My doc told me suboxone helps stifle the cravings and other have said the withdraw isn't as difficult.  Can you really stomach weeks of intense withdraw??  Get into a suboxone program.  I could be wrong.  I'm new to this horrid chapter of my life.  But this is what I've learned.
rowdloud

[avisg]

I have not been on it but we have never had a member coming off of methadone that did not suffer . Most have WD for a few weeks. Of course the more you on and the longer time taking it  the worse the WDs would be .I would get off of it now while you are at a low amount . You can try tapering down but that may prolong the WD feelings just depends how slow you go .Maybe you will get lucky and it wont be as bad but I would prepare for a few weeks and if its shorter then you will be so happy.Stick around let us know how I goes .:)
avis

[BottomFeeder]

Thanks for the Support avi,
Wow So you are saying I am going to have the major withdrawls for a few weeks ??
Were you on a low dose like I was at one time or know anybody that was and had the symptoms for weeks???
      
Well Thats just friggin Awesome,,,Well thanks for sharing and the Cold turkey advice.

[avisg]

It does not make any since to now use sub to get off the methadone that u used to get off the oxys .If you want to get clean its time to brake the cycle.  With either tapering or going ct you are going to have few week uncomfortable weeks there is no real way of skip methadone WD ...

If you take the sub at some point you are going to have to come off of that too.

I would think long and hard about what your next step will be .We are here to offer as much moral support as we can :)