Anxiety just leaving my house

[Kelseago]

Everytime I leave my house to do anything I just get anxious, shakey, hearts racing. I had to drive to the bank today and it felt as if my heart my in my throat. Hands were shaking. I'm really glad I'm not really working right now. I wouldn't be able to do it daily in public. This really *****. I feel like I'm stuck in my house, my comfort zone. I really hope this feeling goes away before I go back to work...

[Kelseago]

I'm doing much better. Stillna little foggy in the head, but I resisted the relapse that I wantrd to give into. I went and took my son for a walk and watched him splash around in puddles while we wsited for his sister to get home. Calmed down enough to do my motherly duties..homewrk, cook etc. Thank you guys so much for helping me today. Idk if I'd made it without you. My friend is on her way here so I should be good until my husband gets home Weds. Thanks again!

[vicki595]

I just got home and wanted to check on you.  You sound better!  Let us know how the meeting goes...

You know,I used to have the worst time in the grocery store! Even if I had someone with me. I just got so damn anxious that I couldn't make decisions,read properly,felt faint,...it was awful. More than once I walked out leaving a basket of groceries and rushed home.
Something about the grocery store triggered this and badly.  So,in order to keep my family from starving,I started going VERY early in the morning. Less cars on the road,no people in the store,I could hear the overhead music,and it was much better for me!  Just a thought for now...              
All of this passed and life didn't stop. I was the only one who could fix this,though, as no one could ever reassure me enough!   It will get better...

[dominosarah]

Let us know how you are doing later~~~~~~

[Kelseago]

Every day!  Lol. I just want to say thank you so much for talking me down. You really are a blessing. I really appreciate it!  I think I'm ok now, enough atleast. I'll post again uf I start tweeking again. Thanks so much!

[dominosarah]

Do you ever just look around and wonder how they can trash a room like they do!!!

[Kelseago]

Not really, i have my three yr old. I can only do quick showers when he's awake n I'm alone. I'm trying to be productive and clean his room. We're not getting too far. Atleast he's being good and watching a movie for me

[dominosarah]

Can you take a warm bath right now?

[Kelseago]

Around 5. Hopefully sooner

[dominosarah]

That's right, i forgot you keep a journal......

What time is your friend coming?

[Kelseago]

I keep a journal. That's as closest thing I do. I just feel soooo overwhelmed

[dominosarah]

It's not wrong to think as these thoughts happen, what is wrong is if you act upon those impulses.  Using is not an option........

Have you ever sat down and made out a list of all the things you are grateful for?  I also wrote a goodbye letter to my pills.  I thought it was nuts when i first was told about it but i decided i had nothing to lose so i sat down and wrote and wrote and wrote.  You will be surprised at how much better you will feel......

[Kelseago]

Yeah, that makes sense. I just hate this feeling. I haven't been able to calm myself in like 2 hrs. Clamy, racing heart, dizzy. I just hate it. I feel like if i weren't so scared of driving i wld be buying. I know that's wrong to say/think. Ugh....this is horrible

[dominosarah]

You are doing really great Kels, you are talking about your fears and that is what we want you to do.  Staying clean is alot like going back to our babyhood years.  We have to learn to walk and talk all over again.......we just dont roll over and stay there.         sara

[Kelseago]

I most definitely can/will/have to do this!  I know that eventually it will pass. It's just sooo hard. This is where I always mess up. Thank you guys so much for talking me through this. I know life can and will be better, eventually. I guess I'm just having a really rough day. Thank goodness for this place!  Maybe I'll calm once my friend gets here

[magnoliaooo]

I used to talk to myself all the time and I was like sara I thought everyone was in on my little seret!!!! Just keep working through it I promise you it will get better. My son ia a teenager and he would say Mom who are you talking to? I felt so hopeless at times but it is the disease talking to us. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

                                                      Mag

[Kelseago]

Idk if I can do that. I have problems wearing braclets, watches, really anything in my wrists. I feel confined. Always been that way. Thanks though :)

[laurel453]

i have just remembered another tip i was given but i never used it... put a rubber on your wrist, whenever you feel the anxiety rocketing, you "pinch" yourself a little bit with it, it changes the direction of your thoughts.

[Kelseago]

Thanks Sara. I feel like my kids think I'm nuts. I'm always talking to myself trying to calm myself down. My daughter is always asking why I do that. I just don't know what to say. It saddens me that my kids see me acting "crazy" (my daughters word for me) thanks again

[dominosarah]

I felt this way for awhile too.  Felt like everyone was looking at me and knew my secret.  I started taking baby steps, short trips, in and out of the store and that helped.  This will get better so just keep working thru it.........sara

[Kelseago]

Thanks for the tip laurel, I will have to give that a try. Anxiety has definitely been the worse part of WD for me. I can handle the pain, sickness nut the anxiety is overwhelming. Thanks again

[laurel453]

yeah, anxiety is one beast to tame after detoxing and it is not easy BUT we can do stuff that helps ... meditation, yoga, breathing exercises, therapy,, As for leaving the house, here's a tip... try eating an apple. :) I have just read it from a therapist, it seems that while we are eating it very slowly ( this is the point, you have to eat it as slow as possible ), it is easier thus to slow our breathing and concentrating on such an easy task  helps with anxiety. Just tell me if it helps :)

[Kelseago]

I actually do google map everything. It makes it easier. She doesn't fully know, I plan on talking wither tonight. She knows I quit though but she's never been one to take anything so Idk if she'll really understand. My husband has always been around to drive me and the kids around until he got this new job. I know my kids will be much happier when I get threw all the WD. He hates not being able to be here for my meeting. I think he's more worried I'll back out without him being here. Which is why my friend is coming. I have no excuse. I wish I had found this place years ago, during my first attempt. I hate that my kids have been apart of this, but atleast they're still very young. I grew up with an addict for a father (he's 13 yrs sober) and it really affects you. I just hope it doesn't affect them like it has me. I have only just started talking to my dad after 12 yrs. Anyhoo, I'm rambling. Thanks you guys

[magnoliaooo]

Congrats on 3 days!!!!! I really do understand the anxiety especially since you just moved somewhere new. Does your friend know about your withdrawls? My family never knew it was really hard covering up all the anxiety. One thing that helped me was knowing exactly where I was going I know that sounds stupid but I goggle mapped everything!!!! My husband thought I was crazy since I had never done that before. I think it would be good if maybe you could leave your kids with your friend and then maybe find the closest grocery store and make that your first trip. Maybe each day you could drive to one new place and before long you will know where a few things are!!!! I understand the anxiety all to well!!!! Just remember that you are doing something great for yourself, don't beat yourself up over this, in time it will pass, I am living proof of it passing I don"t have to google map NOW!!!! Just be grateful right now for small things, be kind to yourself your body is going through so much. So proud of you for making the decision to quit, your kids have a sober mom!!!

                                                   Mag

[Kelseago]

The kids aren't coming to my NA meeting. My friend will be here helping me. I do try everyday to get out and walk around with my boy. Play outside. The anxiety just gets to me in the car, public places, etc. I've been clausterphobic (spelling?) all my life and it just seems to be more intense now