Any advise

[Jenntou22]

Hi. I'm 28 years old. I have 4 kids, 9,8,3 and 1 1/2. And I'm married. After I had my last baby in 2011, I became very depressed and had horrible horrible periods. I would be laid up for at least 3 days because the pain was so bad. My family doctor prescribed me Hydrocodone. I only took them when I needed, I had a very weak stomach and no tolerance at all. In August 2012, I had a full hysterectomy. My doctor told me that my uterus was the size of being 5 months pregnant and each of my ovaries were the same size because they were filled with cysts. And one of my ovaries had attached itself to my bladder, due to endometriosis. That's not even the worst. He also found that I had cervical cancer. Because we didn't know about the cancer, I had to go through chemo and radiation. During my recovery from the surgery, I was still on the Hydrocodone. My doctor also told me that I would be hurting during the chemo and radiation so he kept me on the pain medicine. Keep in mind, I took them only when I needed. I finished the chemo and radiation in late November 2012. Here we are in march 2013 and I'm still having very bad leg pains. At first, the doctors thought I had nerve damage from the treatments. They took me off the Hydrocodone. Yes, I had bad withdrawals. Couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't sit still, cold sweats, hot flashes, and more. But I made it!!! I started seeing a pain management doctor because my leg pains were that bad. He put me on a anticonvulsant and amatriptaline and a small dose of morphine. Nothing was working. And the amatriptaline messed me all up. I was still having leg pain, now my depression was way worse, and bad anxiety attacks. I went through some tests and no nerve damage was found. Now the doctor says that my leg pains could be just side effects from the chemo and radiation and that this could last 6 months to a year after. The doctor took me off all the medications that I was on and put me back on Hydrocodone. He started me off at 1 pill, 2 times a day. I take them the way I should but I know that when I go back, he's going to raise it cause I still have bad pain. I really don't want to be on these but it's the only thing that has helped take my pain away. Without the pain medicine I miss out on so much with my kids and husband. BUT I know at the end of this tunnel, I will once again have the withdrawals. I dread that!!! I was hoping that someone could give me some advice to help me.

[YesLife4Me]

I can understand your fear of wd..it's horrible.  I would suggest that when it comes to that time to definitely get your Dr involved to help you with a taper plan or meds such as clonodine to help ease wd.   Tapering is the best way if you can do it.  Like the others have said, as addicts we didn't use the meds as needed and took it into our own hands and continued doing it because we liked how it made use feel.  Unfortunately once we built up our tolerance, we needed it to function and then eventually needed it to keep out of withdraw.  As long as you are following instructions you will be ok.  If you find yourself wanting to use more when you shouldn't be, then having someone else hold and dispense your meds might be a good idea since you are concerned about addiction.   You are a survivor and have an acute awareness to what these meds can do, that's a great start!  :)  

[Jenntou22]

First, thank you all so much for the help. Nbhope-- yes, I was taking the neurontin but it wasn't helping. That's why he, the doctor, put me back on the Hydrocodone. It's not that I feel guilty about taking the pain medicine, I'm just really scared. My whole family has been addicted to some type of drug at some point. I just don't want to go down that road. I have too much to loose. Yes, I stress a lot. I always think about the what ifs. I just want to be prepared for things that WILL happen. I know that, like before, even though I take the medication as I'm supposed to, when it was time to get off of them, I still had withdrawals. I do not want to ever go through that feeling again.

[T2112]

I am by no means an expert but what I have learned is that some people need to take pain medication due to quality of life. That how I started out but my personality says if 2 work then 4 must be better. And if 4 is better than 8 must be great .. and so on... which happened for reasons not associated with legitimate pain management. When I started out I needed to take them just to be a functioning person. They saved my job, my interaction with my family became a possibility, etc. There should be no guilt with taken a Rx as directed and when that time comes to stop it is a safe process. I just don't have the personality that allows for that. If you post on this site I can attest that there are many who are very knowledgeable and honestly want to help. This is the best site I have every been on and I owe those on here more than I can give. Please don't let the guilt steer you in the wrong direction.

[Andie015]

It sounds like you really need the pain medicine. If you are taking it as prescribed and it improves your quality of life I see no reason to feel guilty about it. Many on here have been abusing pain meds with no real reason to take them...either they needed it at some point and it spiraled out of control or it started with recreational use. You don't fit into either category.  You have been through so much and very recently...don't worry about what might happen in the future just take care of yourself today. Just make sure you always take your medicine the way you should and you won't have a problem. Good luck and I'm wishing you a speedy and full recovery.

[nbhope]

* take... I ment not fake sorry...lol

[nbhope]

Hey sweetie, my daughter was dx with cancer at the age of 15 months and suffers from neuropathy which sounds like what you have, have they tried you on neurontion or lyrica?? My daughter started with neurontin and now is on lyrica... She takes oxycodone for break through pain. I wouldnt worrie so much about withdrawls and continue to fake the meds,, your body had just been taken pretty much to death and now your recovering. If you need to chat I am here!! take it easy and allow your body sometime to recover. ((((hugs))))