Anything to help

[SOULCRUSHERFAB]

Hi guys, i know i have not been around here for a while but i am back. Reason why i am back is that i need help, just a quick recap on my situation, i am addicted to perks and i take a lot of them about 50 to 60 a day and i have been trying to tapper off a bit at a time now i am at 8 perks 3 to 4 times a day, the past 2 days i decided to cut it right off, last night i only took 2 of them and took 3 sleep eze to give me that drowsiness, i was in and out of sleep and i was getting the chills and sweating a lot, i know because the times i woke up to go to the bathroom i could feel that my tshirt was wet, woke up this morning and my body is in so much pain, like a champ i got up and got ready to come to work, i took 4 perks to keep my going for the day but what do i do later on, what can i take to help me calm down, i refuse to get more perks, at this time i do not have any left. Will the sleep eze help out at night? what about during the day, what can i take to help out. Anybody, please help me out.

Thanks

Fabio

[soulcrusher]

I just got back from the rehab clinic and i took my second dose of Suboxone and i am feeling good, one thing i am amazed by is that i do not, i really mean it i do not have the desire to take a perk, I am feeling great.
They do have me on a program and they said it is about 2 months of me taking the 8mg of Sub, but first they want to see how much of a dose they should give me, they are starting me at 8mg and then by tomorrow if i still have the pain on my legs he will give me 10mg and then we keep going after the 2 months if i feel amazing he will start tapering me off of it and will see how it goes. I know it is soon to tell because this is a new drug in my system but i do not have any cravings to take a perk, i do not even think about it, i am so surprised, just thinking that the other day i had to stop taking the perks for 24 hours and i tell you it was not fun, the pain in my legs and my whole body and my mind was all over the place and now, i feel like a million bucks. I was tapering off the perks on a weekly basis and then i was told by the clinic to stop and then to go on the Sub. The only thing i have to do is that every day i have to go to the pharmacy to get the pill and the pharmacist needs to see that the pill has dissolved then i can go. I want to thank everyone that gave me there input while i was trying to get off this stuff and i tell you that I do keep my promises, if anybody is in my area, come to my place and like i said i will cook for everybody. I can say this because i am getting off the perks and keeping a clear head. Anybody out there that wants to know about the Sub, not that i am an expert, just ask i will tell you what i am going thru with it, they tell me it is better than methadone. Again, thanks a lot guys, Love you all

[FourJays]

Wow - it's great to hear from you and that you have tapered off the percs!  So, have you been tapering down this whole time?  I know that you have some other pretty serious health issues; SO glad to hear you did it this way and with the help of the clinic and doctor.  Was it all done on an outpatient basis or were you able to get some time off and go inpatient?  Either way, it is great news that you were able to safely get off the percs.  I am familiar with the 3 meds the doctor gave you (Clonidine, Ibuprofen and Trazodone), but have no experience at all with the Suboxone or dosing, etc.  There are many here that do though and will be able to offer you information and/or support.  In any case, thanks for the update....it is really amazing how far you have come, especially given the high doses you were on and the health obstacles you have had to deal with.  Looks like your commitment to this is paying off - just please take good care of yourself OK?  And keep posting here with your progress!

[clean_in_ks]

Thanks for making your way back here and giving us your update, Fabio!!

I think the reason you could not log into your account was because you used "SOULCRUSHERFAB" before.......and you signed on with your new account now as "soulcrusher"

Just wanted to help you understand that if you hadn't figured it out yet, lol.
I'm really glad (after reading your message to me in my inbox) that you found your "original post/thread" and gave ALL of us an update.

I'm amazed........"maybe I'm amazed........doo da doo....Paul McCartney".....no...just playin...lol...  I am REALLY happy you were able to wean down and get some help!!  The amount of percs you were taking was ASTRONOMICAL...and with your heart history and diabetes....I was very concerned for you.  Sounds like you have made A LOT of progress since you last posted.......24 hrs NO PILLS?????  YIPEE KIYAYY FABIO.....
I smell that Italian dinner, huh?  lol

Anyhoo......I hope the clinic and the sub dr have you on a program...and that you have some aftercare that goes along with being on a good suboxone program.  I'm REALLY glad you did NOT go on methadone maintenance and hope the clinic/dr have laid out a timeframe for your suboxone maintenance.

Thank you for the PM.....but REALLY glad you figured out a way to get back on here and update all of us.....we're rootin for you!  

[soulcrusher]

Update news to everybody. Today it has been 24hrs with no pills. Let me do a quick re-cap, I went to the clinic and Peter (the guy from the clinic) he started me on a taper plan and from the last time i posted till yesterday i was on a taper plan, and then yesterday morning i went to the clinic with peter and a doctor, they put me on Suboxone. let me tell you, at first i was sick and having withdraws not taking the pills for 24hrs prior to taking the Suboxone. They first gave me 2 2mg of the Suboxone then a half hour later another 2mg, the doctor checked my pressure and it was kinda high and i was getting a little more agitated, sweating and the restless legs. Now after another half hours go by he gives me the last 2mg, let me tell you after the 4th one, i started to feel good no restless legs, no sweating i was no longer agitated, basically i was feeling good, after a while they let me go home. As i was being driven back to my office it hit me all at once, i was feeling so good,  i must admit i was high....lol. I got back to my office after getting the prescription that the doctor gave me, he gave me Teva-clonidine, Apo-ibuprofen and Teva trazodone, still feeling good and still no disire to take any of the perks or the medication. Went home and just sat on the couch just to relax, still feeling good, grabbed a bite to eat then went to bed taking   1 of the sleeping pilss he gave me trazodone. Woke up this morning feeling a bit tired than usual but i know it it caused by the meds he gave me, overall i am feeling good. Today i have to go back to the clinic and take another Suboxone, but this time is just an 8mg pills.

[SOULCRUSHERFAB]

I am going to look into the methadone before i go back and see him next week. One thing that stuck in my head is that he asked me how much pain do i think i am able to take? he said its because he wants to see that once i am doing the taper plan for a while he wants to see how much pain i can take. I know i misunderstood him, i am going to call him later on today, that's one good thing he said to me that if i do have any questions i can call him anytime and if he is not with anybody at the time i call him he will answer if not just leave him a message and he will call me back to help me out with anything i have concerns with.

[clean_in_ks]

That's GREAT progress, Fabio.....I'm glad they are going to work with you on a taper plan.....and maybe oversee you for a few days in a hospital.
Please DO NOT let them put you on methadone.  Read as many posts on this forum as you can about methadone.  We have LOTS of people on here right now struggling with getting off that stuff!!  Even at your high dose, you can do this WITHOUT methadone.  You FOR SURE can!!!
  
I hope you'll take the time to equip and educate yourself before your next dr's appt next week.  You can do this....but you have to be TOTALLY committed to a plan and develop one knowing your brain and body will SCREAM loudly at you to take "a pill" or "just one more" or cheat on your taper amount.  If you find you cannot stick to the taper schedule.....find someone to help dole out the pills to you as scheduled.  It won't work if you take more one day, and less the next, back and forth.

If you work w/the clinic and those dr's, cut off your "other" sources, and share/tell anyone intimately close to you in your daily life......then set up a plan to get some AFTER the detox care......support for a new way of living you'll be majorly SUCCESSFUL!!
Keep us posted~

[FourJays]

Great news!  The plan of action sounds really good and the fact that you felt comfortable with the guy at the clinic is so awesome.  That in itself is such a good sign - it is so much easier to open up and be honest with someone we feel a connection to.  I am so happy for you.  Please let us know how it goes.
Julie

[YesLife4Me]

I am so glad things are starting to look up for you.  Please continue to keep us posted.  You are headed in the right direction..which is pill free!!  :)

[SOULCRUSHERFAB]

Ok, today way my appointment with the clinic, they made me feel comfortable, he asked me a lot of question and i was truthful to him, after talking to him he then said that he was an addict to. Made me feel good that he was on my level by saying that he knew what was going on and that he understands, he knows that the amount of pills i am taking are a lot just to quit CT, he said that he works close with a pain management doctor and he was going to explain my situation by saying about my heart attack, the 6 by passes and me being diabetic, it is very serious because of those factors and the medication i am taking. He is going to give me a few options, first he needs to consult with my doctor, the pain management doctor in putting me on a taper plan and slowly going down, and maybe going on methadone, or for a few days being in the hospital this way thay can help me because of the amount of pills i take and how bad it is going to be while i am trying to get off of them. Next appointment is next wee on the 21st of march at 2pm. Its looking good, this guy makes me feel comfortable and at ease. I will keep you all posted. Thanks a lot guys

[ImDONENoMore]

You have a choice.  Either get well, and check yourself into rehab to do the work, or continue on this path, continue working, and end up in a worse situation (believe me, this will get worse).  So I don't see how this is a choice.

I think you know what you need to do.  And I'm confused.  What was your plan with this rehab place initially if you weren't planning to admit yourself?

[SOULCRUSHERFAB]

Ok, I feel like crap here. There is a misunderstanding, the rehab center that contacted me in a place that will help you but not keep you in, well i think they do let you stay in there facilities but i am not able to do so, i know its not an excuse but i am not able to stay, too many things i have to take care of, i know i will loose my job if i leave for a long period of time, i just got back to work from my heart surgery and things were upside down here at work, things will go crazy here if i leave again. ****, i am looking so forward in getting my second call from the rehab center, i wish they would call me now. I am a very patient person, but for some reason i feel like a kid in a toy store.......lol

[VICourageous]

Just caught your post. I am proud of you for wanting your life back. I agree with them all. I too was on that drug which lead to the methedone ride and other mixes. Keep posting and hang in here You can also share your experiences with the next one that comes along...This and the aftercare will help you into your new life and new world there is alot to learn about the disease and the way the brain works..It becomes a new mission in life and we have to keep focused on it...
God Bless keep coming back when you get back if u go..
vickie

[FourJays]

I am so happy to hear it......you are on your way!  Keep updating; this is such great news!

[clean_in_ks]

How COOL is that?  Your dr called you w/rehab info?  And you already called the rehab..... and were honest?  YOU GO...FABIO!!!......(and kudos to your heart dr, too)

Rehab is a GREAT idea..... I'm so glad you are open to it.....it will really change your life!  With your heart surgery history and your VERY high intake of percs......going to rehab will BLESS you big time!!
Some of us say, "but I don't have time to take off work?".....well, if we don't MAKE time to get well.......the drugs will definitely do "their time" on us and make us sicker and sicker.  It's progressive......either progressively healing or progressively killing ourselves.  We get to choose.....and I LOVE having the power of choice..

As for that Italian dinner.....oowhee.....it's mornin here and I STILL could smell the garlic from your kitchen, hahaha!   Seriously, what a GREAT and KIND thought, Fabio.  Just think....after you get clean and those drugs aren't running your life.....you can put your executive chef hat on and cook up some "fabio" (haha) meals.....! Heck, you'll be saving so much $ from not having to buy 50 perk/day.....you'll be rich enough to fly us up there!!! Hahaha!  JK, but it sounds fun anyway:):)
You're on your way.......and I sure hope you'll bop back in and update us when you know more.  
Ciao~

[SOULCRUSHERFAB]

Ok, update. I called the rehab center this morning and they just called me back. They asked me a bunch of questions and i was strait up with them. Now i have to wait for another call back from a pain management doctor. I am on my way guys, thanks, i feel good already.

[FourJays]

An Italian dinner - WOW, that sounds awesome!  My daughter is a recently graduated pastry chef - she could do the desert!!! And best of all we are Italian (well, who isn't when it comes to a good dinner, right?

Seriously, it is SO good to hear about the rehab center and that you are open to the idea.  This was your heart doctor you saw earlier that day and he later called you with the information?  So, telling him was for sure the right thing to do.  You are on your way to beating this all . .  keep you hopes high; you can do it.  Let us know how it goes when you get the rehab center info.  Good luck . . . in the meantime . . . slow. slow. slow.  You will beat this addiction and get the pills out of your life for good!
Julie

[SOULCRUSHERFAB]

First of all, I want to thank you and everyone else for the support i am getting from everybody, I wish I could get everybody in one place and cook you guys a great Italian dinner because i used to be an executive chef in the past just to say thank you.
Ok, here is what happened last night around 7pm, i got a call from my doctor giving me some info for a rehab center that is not to far from me here is the website www.asyr.ca, i am not sure if this will work but i am going to call them as soon as they open and see what the outcome is. I understand what everybody is telling me that there is hope and i will keep an open mind about it and i will see what this place is all about.
This morning i took 11 perks and i will try to stretch it out as long as possible, i will try to stretch it out till around 1pm and i will take 8 perks and not my usual 10. Before if i took 10 perks around 5am my next 10 perks would be around 10am. I wish myself luck and see what happens.
Thanks a lot everybody for the support it really means a lot to me.
I will keep everybody posted and see how i made out with the taper and with the rehab center.

[clean_in_ks]

Don't give up hope, Fabio.....I had a similar experience two days ago and wanted to share a couple of thoughts w/you.  The dr that you saw today was your Cardio Specialist, right?  He did all your bypass surgeries?  If that is correct, he is just unable to prescribe/counsel/administer help in this whole other "field" of medicine....like pain/addiction/withdrawal meds, etc.
He chose to SPECIALIZE in cardio/the heart and is probably a FANTASTIC heart surgeon......it's not that he doesn't want to help you....he just wants you to see another dr who DOES specialize in pain/addiction and w/drawal meds being administered.
Just two days ago, I went back for a dr appt with the fabulous back surgeon that did my back surgery.  I shared my ongoing chronic pain and other issues I'm still having.  At first, he seemed to come off "disinterested", but really, HIS speciality, and he is one of the most sought after back surgeons in the area, is SURGERY and correcting spinal conditions.  

What I guess I'm trying to say, is my heart really wanted him to be able to tell me what is STILL causing my pain, what can I do NOW? and yet, because my xrays show my cages/titanium bars and screws are all right where they should be and bone is now re-growing where it should be....HIS job with me is done.......as a speciality back surgeon.....he cannot help me.

Your cardiologist is in a similar position.  He just wants you to get help from another dr in the medical field who is "well versed" or "specialized" in what you need help for NOW.  ??Am I making any sense??

I know you feel like this first "reach out" attempt didn't go as you had hoped, but PLEASE don't lose heart.  Just because you take so many percs per day doesn't mean you have no way out of this.  Yeah, you will probably need to get some (for now) to keep your blood levels up so you can function w/o major cardiac stress.....but that doesn't mean you have to take 10 at a time.....5 times a day does it?  
And, getting an appt made ASAP to get specific help from a dr knowledgeable about pain and addiction will give you a new goal to work towards here.  We just have to do "the next right thing". HOPE IS STILL ALIVE AND WELL...it's just that for me, on Monday, my HOPE on Monday was in my back surgeon having answers for me.....he didn't.....I understand why now.....but I still left there disillusioned like you.  We just have to be willing to take the steps.....and keep at it until we get the answers we need.
Just keep seeking....and taking some new actions.....you really CAN be free of this addiction....your life is depending on it....and you sound like a GREAT guy to me~    

[Pat1956100]

Hi there
Yes, you can do your own taper but remember the slower the better.  You have the right idea but remember not to go to fast.  You DON'T want to go into withdrawal with your medical condition.  Make sure your body adjusts before you drop your dose.
I don't think doing that many percs a day is very good for you either so it's a shame that your doctor couldn't help you with a good taper plan.
Don't feel defeated.  You CAN do this but like I said before slow and steady wins the taper race.

[FourJays]

The outcome of your appointment is disappointing, but try not to be discouraged.  Call that other dr and get an appointment as soon as you can.  Until then just do what you can to reduce at a slow/reasonable amount that works for you.  You took the first step and that is HUGE.  You can and will do this; you knew it wasn't going to be easy - nothing worth having ever is.  Your health is the most important thing - you have to be strong and move forward.  You can get to a clean and healthy place and get your life back.  One day at a time - it will get better because YOU will make it so.  

[YesLife4Me]

There is hope for you.  I'm sorry your appointment didn't go as well as expected, but he did refer you to another dr that can help.  That is good!   In the meantime do your best with your tapering as you can until you can get in there.  You absolutely did the right thing by telling your Dr.  Your health is number one, and with your heart problems, he needed to know.  Coming clean is the right way to go, even if there is backlash in doing so.  It means you are taking corrective steps and actions to get your life back.  Don't ever give up on hope.  It is what gets us all through the bad times.  

[donesniffer]

I've been snorting methadone for 6 years.  I quit cold turkey 4 weeks ago n I feel just as crappy, just as extremely weak n extremely sick as I did day one.  Idk how much longer I'm going to last but it's not a few days for withdrawal to pass.  I've tried coming off perks in the past n it's rough but it can be done.  Its been 29days now n I feel no different from the first day.  Still no sleep, extreme weakness, extreme depression, rather go pickup......

[SOULCRUSHERFAB]

Nothing happened, i told him what was going on with me and he started to say that he is not into that fiels in giving out medication for me to get off or taper off the perks. i told him how many i am currently taking and that i tried to quit CT, he got upset at me because i could have done something bad to myself due to my heart condition. He is going to send me to a pain doctor that is an expert in this field, i guess here in Toronto ontario they work like that. Now i am a little scred that there is no hope for me. I am being honest here, for the first time i don't know what to do. I think i have to stock up on the perks and try to taper off slowly, from taking 10 5 times a day i will try 9 5 times a day and so on.

[YesLife4Me]

checking in to see how it went.  On pins and needles here!