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950633 tn?1306056969

BOREDOM, :(

Firstly thanks to all who responded to me ystrdy as that was the first time I have ever been on this site. I seem to be only postin negative stuf just now, I dont know what is wrong with me. I feel so alone sumdays, most days in fact. I miss my NA friends but NA is not for me but Im scared that the loneliness I feel just now wil lead me back to a place I dont want to go to.....relapse, using etc. Its been a tough 3yrs for me, with short bouts of clean time, from a few days to 4months. Howeva Im now just past 6 months clean, the longest I have ever been but I feel so low. I have even started up contact with my ex who I was with for 18yrs (we split 3yrs ago) this was due to our using and he is now clean and tho we have spent sum time together of late I dont know if its what I really want. I know for sure that my family wld go ballistic if they knew I was seein him as physical abuse featured heavily in our relationship and in the past when we have attempted to re-unite Ive ended up relapsin (tho that is my fault & no-one elses).
I dont know what Im tryin to say, I just feel like Im ramblin, I think I miss not bein able to talk to my sponsor etc but I made the choice to drink on occasion (rarely but I want that choice&NA doesnt give that choice).
Possibly its just the boredom of spendin the wknd alone that has got to me, howeva Im off to my brothers for a cple of days to look after my nephews then workin the rest o the week, so Im sure being around family will take my mind off myself.
Finances are tough so it limits me to what I can do, the weather was gorgeous ystrdy so went out but not so nice today so have just sat in on the laptop all day listenin to tunes. I feel like Im just jumpin about with what Im tryin to say - maybe thats ok tho, ramblin.
I thought that bein 6 months clean wld bring so much happines, but its not, my head is all over the place

Sorry dont think Im makin sense :o( xx
3 Responses
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541953 tn?1262586226
congrats on 6 months, what a accomplishment!!!! way to go girl!! stay online, there is always someone on here to talk to. pm me anytime
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I too am soooo bored without opiates, and im only on day 10. I literally cannot think of anything to do that would seem fun, everything just seems kind of pointless now and all I do is sit around the house being bored out of my mind.
Helpful - 0
199177 tn?1490498534
we are here to listen some days are really hard .Congrats on 6 months that is great .Can you find a new NA meeting or some type of group that will help.One of the great things about this forum is that there is always somebody that understands who has been right where you are to help so stick around.
avis
Helpful - 0
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