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Benzo withdrawal help??
I'm extremely scared. I signed myself into inpatient to get off from opiates and I was doing well. When they released me however, they wouldn't release me with the kolonopin script that I had brought in. When I signed myself in they never told me the rule of them keeping it. So I got out and my anxiety and panic was so bad without the kolonopin I didn't know why to do. Mind you I've been on benzos goin on six years now. I've never abused them. I ended up going back on opiates because it eased my anxiety. I've also found some benzos to hold me over but tomorrow I'm out. I've been on the phone for three weeks now and had three appointments with my therapist about getting my script refilled. Well because I signed in to inpatient they first had to get those records. They finally did that and I thought the next week I could get my script and get back on course. Nope! Now because I'm going to intensive outpatient they have to talk to them first. Which would be fine if my therapist didn't only work two days a week and keep putting it on hold. I've went to the er as I was told to do and told them everything. They treated me like I was looking for drugs and wouldn't help me. I've made so many phone calls trying to get help that I feel I'm now out of options. No one is willing to help me now that I've tried to get help for my addiction. I'm terrified I'm going to have a seizure and god knows what else. I cannot fully live without the kolonopin or a benzo. Without it I'm laying in the house. In bed or on the couch, afraid to even move as I think I will die. Nothing feels right. I feel like I'm in a dream land. I start to see things that are not there. I feel as I'm walking that the floor is moving with me. I cannot even shower as I don't feel steady. I don't know what to do anymore and I cannot find the help I need. I cannot keep living this way. If anyone has any advice please please let me know. Anything would be greatly appreciated.
I'm sorry I'm trying so hard to understand what everyone is saying. But the kolonopin has NOTHING to do with my addiction to opiates. I NEVER ABUSED the kolonopin. So in that way the Drs are not helping me one bit by not at the very least tapering me off from this med. I go to N/A I have for months. This isn't a oh why me or please tell me how to get off from these pills kind of post. This is me searching desperately for help with a med that I need and have never abused. I can't guarantee I will go into a seizure or anything else but it's something I would rather not risk.
1 Comments
Its a mood altering drug...as addicts, we need to STOP ALL mood altering drugs. Klonipin is still a drug. Your trying to validate what drugs your addicted to and what your not. At least that's what im saying....Did you think you werw going to go to a detox and they would give you your prescrption for another mood altering substance back?
Its like going to rehab for alcohol addiction and keeping all of the other addictions that arent alcohol, going?? Do you get what im trying to say? These drs are looking at your reaction to the klonipins being taken away and im sure, assuming they're a problem too.....imo
Its like going to rehab for alcohol addiction and keeping all of the other addictions that arent alcohol, going?? Do you get what im trying to say? These drs are looking at your reaction to the klonipins being taken away and im sure, assuming they're a problem too.....imo
You must repeat this to yourself during your process of recovery
" Nothing is going to happen to me"
" I am Invisible and too strong for all evil Forces"
Make sure you just don't say that You Believe in that. Avoidance of risky behavior is enough, rest nothing ain't happening to you. Take care.
" Nothing is going to happen to me"
" I am Invisible and too strong for all evil Forces"
Make sure you just don't say that You Believe in that. Avoidance of risky behavior is enough, rest nothing ain't happening to you. Take care.
sad. When they detox you. They do everything. But there suppose to wean you off benzos..if your doctor is writing the scrip's then they tell him or her what should be done..my brother was on Xanax stopped bit his toung almost off..im on 3 bars a day past 10 yrs.im bipolar. Yes opiates will help with wd,s from benzos. its hard to read your post. You may have to do the bad way streets..i,d rather do that than risk of more health problems. Private message if you want.
Amazing how the "old" addicts' advice comes back around to be time tested and true every time. I did not know that you were back on opiates but I too am sorry to hear of your situation and I will be praying for you.
Hi Rhonda, I also had a terrible addiction. I feel for you, I really do. Having a dual problem is also familiar to me. I'm with you in trying to deal with one problem at a time if that's what you feel you can handle. There are no rules in recovery IMO. Everyone here is trying their best to help you but only YOU know what YOU can do right now. Please just understand that benzo's are not the long term solution. It's more of a lifestyle change that we like to encourage. A plan and a vision are so important in making and taking that step. Understand that everyone here offers only their best interest in helping you, others and themselves by being here to offer their help. Take great care and keep posting. Stay with us and we will stay with you. Best Wishes....ike
Well today I've talked to my actual dr. Not some nut case nurse practitioner that doesn't know what she's doing. My dr thinks it's okay for me to be on the benzos even though it's long term because my anxiety is to the extreme and I'm a special case. She wrote me a script today and I brought it to my pharmacy only to be told that the nurse practitioner told the pharmacy not to fill any scripts anymore for that type of medication. I didn't even know it was possible for her to do that and override an actual dr. I'm going to have to call the office on Monday now and try to get it straightened out. I have the script in hand so very frustrating. Today would be day two no opiates. I've said in my original post I had detoxed off opiates but ended up goin back on them in a smaller dose after all this craziness happened with my kolonopin.
Me Too!
How many days are you off of the Benzo?
I c/t 3 meds and one was Methadone & a Benzo. The other was a illegal one of the streets. Just very concerned about the Benzo. That one took me to the moon & back for months. Hope all goes well.
Also Benzo where made for short term. They can flip on you and cause more anxiety in the long run. This has been proven.
How many days are you off of the Benzo?
I c/t 3 meds and one was Methadone & a Benzo. The other was a illegal one of the streets. Just very concerned about the Benzo. That one took me to the moon & back for months. Hope all goes well.
Also Benzo where made for short term. They can flip on you and cause more anxiety in the long run. This has been proven.
Very quick update as I'm about to head to bed and hopefully sleep. Today is day one off opiates. I've yet to find anyone willing to help taper me off from benzos though. I have a Drs appointment tomorrow afternoon with my regular physician and I'm hoping to speak with her tomorrow about it because as of right now she's my last hope.
Hi Ronda how you doing today??? did you find a doctor to ween you off of the clonapine???? anyways please update us where all trying to help..................................Gnarly..........................................
COMMUNITY LEADER
There are many other ways to deal with anxiety than to reach for a pill. I would focus my energy on some healthy ways to alleviate all of this. Relying on meds doesnt work in the long run. I know you are running scared right now as you have been on something for a long time. I see this a blessing in disguise. Learning to live med free is hard work but oh so worth it. Talk with your therapist about
1 Comments
How are you holding up today, girl? Check in w/ us.
Glad to hear from you Ronda. It's an aweful thing being labeled. I stil disagree with the whole thing about giving you Klonopin while you were in treatment then discharging you without it. It's insane to me. The thing is now that you have a big choice to make. Will you get drugs off the streets or not? We all must agree that buying illegal drugs as medication is definitely a bad idea. The veterans here know their stuff - you know they do. You can either do this now or do it years from now when you are older and have built a stack of regrets too painful to imagine. Take it from me please, a guy who took that road - there is nothing worse than regret and looking back on damage caused to yourself and your family that could have been been avoided by making the tough choice but the one you knew to be right.
I really appreciate the people on here now being so understanding and trying to help. I figured I'd give a quick update.
I finally got in to see my psychologist today to talk again about the kolonopin. Unfortunately after doing everything right and waiting and waiting to see her, after she made it sound like he would give it to me, I was told that because I was (am) addicted to hydrocodone that she will no longer ever give me my kolonopin script. She said that if I take kolonopin it will make me go out and abuse illegal drugs. I've been on this medication for six years, never to abuse it, and never abused any other drugs until the dr put me on hydrocodone to where I got addicted.
I feel hopeless. I feel like now that I'm labeled an addict no one wants to help me. I've never felt so helpless or looked down upon before in my life. I cannot even describe the feelin of trying to get help for my problem to then have it backfire in every aspect of my life. I'm so upset, scared, depressed and anxious I really don't even know what to say anymore.
I finally got in to see my psychologist today to talk again about the kolonopin. Unfortunately after doing everything right and waiting and waiting to see her, after she made it sound like he would give it to me, I was told that because I was (am) addicted to hydrocodone that she will no longer ever give me my kolonopin script. She said that if I take kolonopin it will make me go out and abuse illegal drugs. I've been on this medication for six years, never to abuse it, and never abused any other drugs until the dr put me on hydrocodone to where I got addicted.
I feel hopeless. I feel like now that I'm labeled an addict no one wants to help me. I've never felt so helpless or looked down upon before in my life. I cannot even describe the feelin of trying to get help for my problem to then have it backfire in every aspect of my life. I'm so upset, scared, depressed and anxious I really don't even know what to say anymore.
1 Comments
Ronda, I am so sorry you feel so hopeless. I'm sure it's seems very weird and unfair to you that if you are only addicted to one substance, that you should be penalized for the others. In the addiction community, professionals and plain old addicts in recovery alike agree that when a person is addicted to one thing, they are POTENTIALLY addicted to other mood altering substance or narcotic. Just a gentle reminder; you've only recently detoxed from opiates, you don't know now if you would start abusing benzos. Substitution is very common when one substance is off the table. It's done this way because thousands upon thousands of people, decade after decade, have tried to stick w/ just one drug and they end up sooner or later, 6 years or 10 years or 15 years later, going back to their original drug of choice. I KNOW this feels like it doesn't apply to you. And I understand, like I said, I never had a problem w/ anything but pills. But, I have to believe that all those people since the 30s even, that came before me, know what they are talking about. Whether it's NA or AA or Cocaine anonymous, they are all abstinence based programs. Not to punish us, but as protection. I know you said you've been going to NA. Do you have a sponsor? Do you have friends in the rooms? I bet you'll get all kinds of good answers if you keep talking about this to people that understand.
I know you'll probably barf from what I'm about to write but I can't help but think this will be a great thing for you. I bet you are SO much stronger than you know. I bet a new life will completely open up to you if you stay completely clean. I know you are terrified of seizures, the only thing I can say, is perhaps for a while, keep in close contact w/ people so if anything happens, they can call 911. I don't know how many you have left but maybe you can taper just for your safety (I know you don't want to.) It can't hurt to do that, though.
I PROMISE you there is an answer to your pain and your feelings. You just can't see it right now. I mean this w/ all the kindness in the world. I hope it comes across that way.
Please stay close. I bet you are going to get some awesome feedback:)
I know you'll probably barf from what I'm about to write but I can't help but think this will be a great thing for you. I bet you are SO much stronger than you know. I bet a new life will completely open up to you if you stay completely clean. I know you are terrified of seizures, the only thing I can say, is perhaps for a while, keep in close contact w/ people so if anything happens, they can call 911. I don't know how many you have left but maybe you can taper just for your safety (I know you don't want to.) It can't hurt to do that, though.
I PROMISE you there is an answer to your pain and your feelings. You just can't see it right now. I mean this w/ all the kindness in the world. I hope it comes across that way.
Please stay close. I bet you are going to get some awesome feedback:)
Finally please understand that the higher risk physically addictive drugs - opiates, benzos, alcohol are those that had the most impact on us all. It is hard for any of us to rationalize that the therapeutic value (temporary pain or anxiety relief) is worth the risk - no the guarantee of serious physical addiction. This doesn't mean we don't understand or care. It's really just the opposite. I hope that you get this thing resolved with the clinic or find a doctor who will take over your care in a responsible way.
The desire to help runs deep here Ronda. Knowing the the catastrophic damage that drugs had on each of our lives makes it easy for us to buy into the "no mind altering substances, at any time, ever" mentality. But we understand. We hear you. You were stamped, labeled and abandoned by the health care system with either litlle (or at least Very poor aftercare. Keep going girl and keep coming back!
Hi Ronda.....first off om sorry your feelings got hurt no one intended for that to happen....the members posting are only trying to help and often cut to the chase....tuff love can be hard to swallow....you have been given very sound advise you still so young to be depending on a pill to live....I sincerely hope you can at least get enough to taper off but that should be your goal to live drug free please keep posting and let us know how things go ...we really do want to see you be successful
.....................................Gnarly.................................
.....................................Gnarly.................................
Hi, Ronda....I'm so very sorry you have been misunderstood.
I went back and read all the details of your very first post. If I am understanding the sequence of events correctly, the meds/klons that the inpatient facility kept when you were dismissed were originally prescribed by your therapist (the one that only works 2 days/week). Right?
And since they would not return them to you upon dismissal, you have been trying for 3 wks to get your therapist to write you a new script?
First your therapist said he/she could not write you one until he/she checked your records from the inpatient trmt facility? Then he/she said no new script until they talk to someone at the intensive outpatient facility that you are currently attending?
When I was in intensive outpatient I was assigned a counselor/therapist in addition to the group meetings. And I also was to attend outpatient trmt 3 days/week for 3 hrs each of those days. Is that something like you have set up right now?
If I were in your shoes, I would ask my outpatient therapist to call your original therapist...and if he/she isn't there due to only working 2 days/wk, talk to the therapist's boss It's the only thing I can think of that would expedite these communication delays.
Obviously, the ER didn't work out either. I'm sorry you were treated so poorly there, too.
If you do not have any history of abusing the klons, then it's just a matter of getting your 2 therapists talking to one another to resolve this mess.
If all else fails, you may need to find a new primary care dr that is willing to prescribe the klons.
I sure hope you will be able to get yourself back off the opiates you went into treatment for in the first place and that you'll start feeling better again soon. I'll be praying for you~
I went back and read all the details of your very first post. If I am understanding the sequence of events correctly, the meds/klons that the inpatient facility kept when you were dismissed were originally prescribed by your therapist (the one that only works 2 days/week). Right?
And since they would not return them to you upon dismissal, you have been trying for 3 wks to get your therapist to write you a new script?
First your therapist said he/she could not write you one until he/she checked your records from the inpatient trmt facility? Then he/she said no new script until they talk to someone at the intensive outpatient facility that you are currently attending?
When I was in intensive outpatient I was assigned a counselor/therapist in addition to the group meetings. And I also was to attend outpatient trmt 3 days/week for 3 hrs each of those days. Is that something like you have set up right now?
If I were in your shoes, I would ask my outpatient therapist to call your original therapist...and if he/she isn't there due to only working 2 days/wk, talk to the therapist's boss It's the only thing I can think of that would expedite these communication delays.
Obviously, the ER didn't work out either. I'm sorry you were treated so poorly there, too.
If you do not have any history of abusing the klons, then it's just a matter of getting your 2 therapists talking to one another to resolve this mess.
If all else fails, you may need to find a new primary care dr that is willing to prescribe the klons.
I sure hope you will be able to get yourself back off the opiates you went into treatment for in the first place and that you'll start feeling better again soon. I'll be praying for you~
OMG! Ronda wait. This is insane. I understand. I've been on this site for years as well. Gnarly, others, you saved my life, whether responding directly to my posts or sharing your wisdom with others. You saved my life. This lady will fight the benzo monster whenever, if ever, she is ready. Are we All supposed to be at the same point in our journey to be accepted? That's not the addict way man. She was given her Klonopin as prescribed during treatment, then essentially had her meds stolen from her and turned out on the street (by a "treatment" facility!) to go cold turkey alone. This is incredible stuff. Ronda I am so sorry. This has to be aweful. I wish that I had advice but no solution comes to mind. In the long run, I say sue the idiots at the rehab and as far as the site goes, I'm leaving with if we don't see some sensible responses soon. I don't understand this.
They told me to bring all my meds into treatment with me. So I brought all my bottle with me. While in detox they were still giving me my kolonopin. When I was done with detox they said they wouldn't release my meds so I had no kolonopin.
I'm desperate for someone to take me serious and realize that it's life threatening to just stop taking benzos after being on them for six years. I was looking for compassion. I was looking for someone to understand. I was looking to be pointed in a direction that could help me get my script back from my dr even if it's just to wean off.
I've been on this site for about a year now. I've always thought it was amazing. So much help so much compassion. Not finding any of that this time. I'm trying so hard to stay nice and civil even while going through this, but some of these post are just infuriating me. I don't know if I'll be back or not.
I'm desperate for someone to take me serious and realize that it's life threatening to just stop taking benzos after being on them for six years. I was looking for compassion. I was looking for someone to understand. I was looking to be pointed in a direction that could help me get my script back from my dr even if it's just to wean off.
I've been on this site for about a year now. I've always thought it was amazing. So much help so much compassion. Not finding any of that this time. I'm trying so hard to stay nice and civil even while going through this, but some of these post are just infuriating me. I don't know if I'll be back or not.
OH an just to make everything clear even when I was in detox they were still giving me my kolonopin even though they ended up keepin the script so I was never being detoxed off from those.
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I get it. You were NOT detoxed off klonopin at all. And now, since they didn't give you back your script, you're desperate to find more, right? Well, I stand by everything I said re you needing to get off these but what is it that you are looking for from this community right now?
I had benzos this whole time. Just not from the dr. I'm trying to figure out how to get my actual script though. I'm scared of the withdrawal but more so of the seizures and everything else.
1 Comments
I must not be understanding this....you had benzo's while in treatment? So that when you left treatment, you all of a sudden DIDN'T have them?
Actually..it is extremely dangerous to detox from benzos, much more than opiates. It can actually kill you. She needs to go back into detox to finish detoxing from the benzos.
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You are correct....but if you read the full story its been at least 4 weeks since shes had them.....why start now? Totally not judging at all....we all have to go through our own process, mine wasnt pretty either....but going back on the benzo's now i think would be counterproductive??? Yes, no??? IMO....
Hi Ronda........well as for the benzos they rarely work after being on them for years so it is more of a plesbo effect then the medication actually doing something....just know you dont want to stay on them your only 28 you have your whole life ahead of you you need to get in the mind set of not running to a pill to get threw life YOU CAN DO THIS and it will be so so worth it....Gnarly
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