CHANCES OF RELAPSE

[passenbyhubby]

I usually go by passenby but I'm away now for my CT trip.I'm on my 5th day. Everything is about like everyone said it would be but less terrifying than what I imagined.I started using vicodins 19mos ago after my son died. He was 25 and it was a shock and a pain I had never felt before. I had vicodins for headache for years never did I abuse them. I used them for a headaches and found they help numb the pain in my heart. my dose climb to 6to8 a day.I thought it was time to stop only to find out I couldn't, I was hooked. My questions. Am I just has likely to have a relapse as anyone that has struggle with this for many years? Will I never be able to take vicodin again for what it was prescribed for? My depression is bad It has always been.Have I delayed my grieving? The last couple of days I have strongly remember why it all began? I need to know about my chance of relapse under these circumstances.

[pixi39]

You three are nuts! Well, especially Bill! You two are great, he is a nutcase!

[bmac]

Pix, Pam and Peazy, what is the problem here? I am man enough for all three of youz guyz. I thought we had this all worked out babes. Rotation is the key! Let me know, I am waiting with baited breath! LOL
Sorry Cindy, this all wasn't my idea, it was Peazy's, blame her!

[athena]

Well, one will never know will they. You gotta problem witt it!

[peaz]

You don't fool me for a MINUTE, "girl"!!!!!!!!!!LOL

[athena]

You and Pam are too damn easy. Leave my man alone!

[peaz]

Well, school is about out and my rehab slots are filling up quickly, so you  and mrRip need to make your reservations.......It's first-come, first-serve for the fire pit and deck lounge chairs.  LOL  For a small fee I will let you smoke in  the kitchen w/ a window wide open...:-)  otherwise, it is an outdoor activity.  Emma can stay in Maggie's kennel since the gender jives.  May I suggest July??  Bring your truck and I can paint the Dead logo on the hood.....(again, for a SMALL fee...:-)  Hell---just bring your credit cards...LOL       Love  and Pilates--- Peazy June

[bmac]

I'll be on a flight at your beckon call.
***@****. Pam stop it! Hippy Chic!
WSP TEEshirt. Nothing but Big ones!K?

[peaz]

Northwest Flt. 455 Lvs Bham 9:45 PM  May 27, open return..........;-)

[pammy0690]

Yo!  Did someone say threesome?  I want a kvike T-Shirt and a WSP t-shirt.  I guess I will have to get my own WSP shirt when I see them in August.  For the Kvike shirt I will have to get one when I go to Rehab in Minn!  Remember Peazy you offered to take my rehab money and clean me up?  

Bill do not worry what that stupid nirse thinks.  In fact that goes for everyone on this forum STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK!  Be true to yourself and you can't go wrong!  Peace Pammy

[peaz]

It's a good thing your DR. and his staff know you or the men in white ( AND BLUE AHAHHA) would be on their way....You'll get the med thang worked out.
    The only way you'll get your KVIK t-shirt is to get me a WSP one......So get busy.  That was a cool drawing of Mike Houser you sent BTW.  
    Your initial question re: Pammy and I needs to be addressed (or undressed, as the case may be) at great length somewhere else.  How about my house??

[bmac]

No Peazy, I wanna get back to the Pammy and Peazy show here. Did I read that right that you and her both want me? OH MY GOD! This isn't a sex chatroom, calm down.JK  What's your number? LOL
(private joke guys sorry)!
OK Peazy I am on Oramorph SR and in 90 days or so I will switch to Oxy contin then in another 90 days he is switching me back to Kadian. He explained this to me and I know it sounds strange but remember he is my friend first and my pain doc second. He is concerned about controlling my addiction as well as my pain. If I screw up one time I am out. He did make me pee in a cup and God the person reading the test is gonna say Jesus this guy is a druggie. LOL
I told the nurse as I was leaving: Hey you want me to go ahead and just tell you what is in my urine? She laughed but I could tell she was thinking the Doc is giving this idiot morphine. I also was talking to him in his office and I told him to kiss my ass and his staff thought we were fighting in there. I can see it now, Drug addict kills Pain doc in office.
Ain't Life Grand? ( Michael Houser, WSP)

[bmac]

I got into this conversation a little late but what if you take your meds the right way well you know I am a druggie for sure and I sruggled with keeping my addiction under control. Of course I failed miserably. Of course who in the hell I am to say anything I am in withdrawals from Morphine! You Nut!  Bill

[peaz]

You seem to be in W/D from your lobotomy, Doll.....:-)  You are doing great and I hope your appt goes well today.  Tell me the gory details later.  And give me Mike H's address......LOL

[dancinginthedark]

Just noticed your recent posts about Frey's terrific book.

First off, I'd like to say how very grateful I am that you LOANED me your copy.  You wrote here that I'd rec'd it FREE, which comes across as you bought me a copy  well, yes, I expect that was true but here, several x, you offered to send it to me as you were done with it.  Here, as well as to you in person, I offered to mail it back to you as I was very grateful for your loaning it to me.  But you *did* offer to send it to me, on this very brd. You did not buy me one & send it. We were all talking about the book club & this book in particular & I said it was not yet available in Cda & I didn't have the funding to buy it on US sites at the moment.  That's when you very kindly offered to send me your copy that you insisted you were quite finished with & didn't want back because you had too much mess to sort through. However, I insisted I would indeed send it back.

Could you please tell me where you asked for confirmation of receipt?  I don't have it in my records & as I recall, there was a most untoward exchange btwn us going on at the time I rec'd it & I felt any contact btwn us was most inappropriate.  And for the record & in lieu of all you said, pertaining not wanting it back & what a heathen wench I was:  Why would you have cared if I had rec'd it?  If you say you asked for confirmation, I'll take your word for it if you can tell me where you asked for this & if I am wrong, I WILL apologize for that on this & any other brd.  In the early part of the brouhaha, when I again assured you I'd be sending it back (with a book I thought you'd like) you wrote back a very rude email saying you'd hate for the postage to stand btwn me & a can of tuna...

C18 - You mention to peazy (I believe) how glad you are she's enjoying it & AGAIN express your dismay over the fact that I didn't tell you I'd rec'd it.  What was the pt. of reiterating this unnecessary info?

Most everyone knows about you anyway so....whatever.  Whatever your needs & requirements, make them public & make it quick because I and many others, will have absolutely nothing more to do with you.

Judy

[suzieneedshelp]

Wut i have heard a thousand times is if I take narcotics not as prescribed..as in.. more than prescribed or not for legitimate severe pain that i have tried to resolve in non narcotic ways, it is considered a relapse no matter wut the rationalizations my sick mind convinces me of.
Hope that helps!
Peace...and congrats on workin your recovery!
Suzie

[rodewc]

Sorry @ Dark (name).. I am slow typist, so I chose a short word as the heading for your name. (10 wpm) I am not looking for thx, simply wanted to know that the book arrived. If my meessage was interpreted differently by you, apologies. Same w/ your name. My intent was to know that the book had arrived and was not waylayed in Siberia. I don't get your diatribe previously, but pls. disregard any further explnations. I am sure it is just that the written word doesn't clearly convey what we wish.

rwc~

[nwbeachin]

Hi.....
   Being three years clean, I have received so many gifts for others...in advice, support, encouragement, literature, etc. When someone gives a "gift", most people accept it accordingly. Once in a GREAT while, you realize the so-called "gift" is actually a means for attention. "Look what I gave you, look what I did, look at how giving I am." No gift graciously given has aftermath. When you give...you let it go.
   Some people really don't know how to "give"...there are strings tied to the gift. A simple...Thank you should be adequate....for most people.
   Nice to see ya at "that other board".
jan

[passenby]

You know when I posted this question I really didn't expect much reply, but at least it would give people a chance to talk to each other about there problems with there addiction and help one and the other to incourage each other.I really didn't intend for a dispute no one learns anything from that so please this is not the place.

[dancinginthedark]

Well, I hadn't thought I need credit the sender of a GIFT, especially when the GIFTER, or LOANER made it abundantly clear to all on said site, being DA - duh - how loathsome she finds them all.

You should have told me you needed full credit!

I will post all over DA that you sent me the book as a GIFT, tho I'd fully planned to return it as I've demonstrated in this exchange.  

Oddly, where I wuz raised weez tawt to enjoy both loans & gifts & was never advised to credit the loaner/gifter. Just be grayshus, return in same condition, or if a gift, thank, wull, always thank.  I think of borrowing friend's clothes & sure, sometimes if asked, I'd say who it belonged to but it wasn't considered de rigeur.  But hey, bein' raised in sum part of the deep south, I've been lookin' for ma front teeth since I wuz born so yu gotta fergive ma parents, HUH?

As to the rest of your entirely indiscernible drivel, well, my inability to made head nor tails of it is clearly the problem of my inept mind.

And thank goodness for small miracles!

I'm glad this matter is finally closed.  Consider this the FINAL conclusion of all matters between you, me, Motz & Sarah.

This grp deserves better & I won't waste any more of their time.  If you want to, go thru a 3rd party or go to DA.  But not this forum.  Believe me, I'll take you on with 1 of my toes against all 9 of yours!  

And have the grace to show some kind of class twd this forum since you ain't got no other kinda class.

Judy
(Oh, sorry, you renamed me DARK!!!OOOOOHHHHHH!)

[rodewc]

Yes, it was free book. A recept? Huh? Whoosh. I told you to keep the FREY book, twice. I have a mountain of junk in this place and give all my books away.

I asked you to tell me when you received it via mail. You didn't. I am hope that wasn't a burden. I had spent 25. on the book and 6. postage. Therefore, I wanted to hear from you that it had made it safely.

I am glad you chose to tell me yesterday that you did receive it. Thx.

I had read last week on another board that you were enjoying Frey's book, reading it a 2nd time. However, that post didnt mention where you had gotten the book.

As the customs slip said, and as I said: It was a gift.

Enjoy

~rwc

[mystere]

Thank you for all your words of encouragement--I must say yesterday was a close call--I thank God that I was able to wake up this morning clean & sober-I write a note to my husband every morning and leave it on his paper--I usually sign it "your pill free wife"--I'm not sure how I would have felt if I couldn't have written that with a clean conscience this morning!
Gracie--How are you? You sound great!  Thanks so much for the words of encouragement--You and I embarked on this journey about the same time so I guess we're kindred spirits---Dancing--I always enjoy your posts and to be quite honest my pain has subsided quite a bit!  To everyone Thank-you for all of your prayers--I would have never made it without this board!  Take care--Peace/Prayers Mystere-AKA N.O. Lady

Anne

P.S.--My husband and I are headed for the coast and I'll check on everyone when I return tomorrow

[dancinginthedark]

Thank you for your support.  Christ, that sounds like a brassiere ad!  No, seriously, this has been a rather ugly affair & for whatever my transgressions, I'm well at peace knowing I can't even find a match, let alone hold a candlestick next to someone who chooses to reject outright rejection & in fact attack THEM, fighting like some unneutered cat let loose in horncat season.

I dbl-checked both her emails to me & msgs on this thread.  Most were in the Vicodin & Dramamine Thread below.  In 1 msg she says, it would be nice to hear when Judy receives book.  It was part of a long paragraph & while I intended always to tell her when I rec'd, thank her & send it back, when I did receive it, things were very very ugly & no, I didn't remember her request.

However, further in the same thread she says twice in the same msg, "I don't save books, trash it or keep it.  I have enuf stuff lying around here".

Ironically, on same thread she posts a URL, attributed to DA for us all.  If she finds DA so disgusting, why even go there, let alone PR & all the lurking?  Hey, maybe it's just me but if I felt it such a disgusting site, I wouldn't go near it.

Strange, none of us at DA have heard from Motz lately.  Could it be he was looking so far into the water, she fell in?  The evidence would suggest thus.

I apologize to all.  I'd just like to continue to post here as there are so many ppl I simply adore but I'd like to do so w/out being attacked.

Thanks again, Jesse.

Judes

[SarpyJesse]

Hey....

What is the deal with "Frey" anyway?

And why the jabs at Judy? It seems to me that you are looking to create conflict and animosity. Something that a "Cured" addict tends to do so very well. You sound curiously familiar to me, "Rodewc." You're generally very good at stirring up the coals.... I've heard some people use the term, "Bent".

settle down.

JP

[dancinginthedark]

Hi Anne -

Just wanted to comment on a post you wrote about increased pain.

I don't know if this will help much but *about* a mo. after I quit a 10 a day Tylenol 3 habit, my worst aches & pains came back to me with a vengeance.  Specifically, I recall my tailbone which I'd broken over a yr. before which hadn't even twinged in a yr.  Anne, when the pain came back it was *unbelievable*.  Another, was damage to the C3-C4 when I blacked out in the showerfrom my hypotension. OO, that too was nasty. Those two in particular almost drove me nuts for wks. & re-using was SUCH a temptation.  But much to my complete surprise both disappeared.  Yes, sometimes when I sit back I get a minor "owwy" & my neck/shoulder will flare up if I sit too long at the computer but it's not that big a deal.

I know when I was doing research on post-opiate "syndrome",  I discovered our bodies become increasingly sensitized for pain.  You already have these injuries/pains & they were masked by the vikes so...perhaps, this is to be expected, or at an incr. intensity.

Hang in there, Anne.  *I* just stood up & cheered for your 25 days of sobriety.  Remember:  You are stronger than the pain.  That much is obvious!

All the best,
Dancin' a.k.a. Judy