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Can I do this without hospitalization?

Im so sick. My body has never hurt this bad. Methadone is the devil!!! I'll never go back! Only day 4 and I'm going thru it!!! But my vision is oing bad I keep blacking out! What do I do? I have a baby to worry about. I'm scared I'm going to pass out!! But if I go to the hospital won't I get in trouble. I'm an addict and a mom. :/ I will die if she were to ever get taken. I will never go back but can this be fatal?
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Lynn, how are you doing today?  Am thinking of you~~sara
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Avatar universal
Hey Lynn well your doing this day by day and even if you dont feel it yet you are getting better the first week is killer then the first month is hard but it dose start to get ezer I was sick in one form or another for 90 days then I just sorta slipped out of it your running a marthon not a sprint and this will be one of the greatest achievements of your life when it done and threw I have found some really good tea some walmarts cary it but if not look it up on line for a local distributor its called ....''YAGI''....KAVA stress releving tea its as good as xanex and is all natural we keep it in the house both my wife and I am bipolar so we have ouir nights of no sleep.....he!! who am I kidding im up all night throwing papers my day starts at 2.30 am so im on the forum at midnight loading up on coffee
do the best you can and try to limit your work load I know thats har with a baby but ask for help your going to need it your going threw a traumatic experience like I have said a hot soak goes a long way
sip on the sup and dont forget to force fluids take a shot glass and take a shot of gatoraid every 15 min minim its really imporant to stay hydrated  hang in there write me if you like I alway look forwad to getting mail hope you feel better soon but I know this stuff so the key here is dont give up.......YOU CAN DO THIS good luck and God bless......Gnarly I will keep you in my prayers  
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1831920 tn?1320857757
Glad to hear it.  Good night.
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Avatar universal
Thank u all so much for your support. And gnarly special thanks to you. Your my inspiration right now. Took a hot bath earlier ate some soup and for some strange reason I feel ok. My knees are killing me for some reason but ibuprofen helped so much!! I think I may be able to sleep. Ugh let's hope. Tomorrows another day and I think I'll get up and go to a meeting. Thank to you guys im determined. Wow. I seriously am so happy right now. I know it won't last but I'll enjoy it while I can(:
Helpful - 0
1801781 tn?1461629469
You did great!  I am proud of you too!  It is the one's that hide their addiction until the baby come that get into big trouble!  You did not do that.  I am glad you went to ER and getting help!!!!  It is great you have support during this tough time.  The other end will make it all worth it.
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1831920 tn?1320857757
That would be great if it is the generic of Clonidine.  It doesn't make you feel 100% better but it does help.  I don't know what other people think but it helped me sleep.  I am glad your boyfriend can help.  Can your mom help next week?
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Avatar universal
hi u r NOT a bad mom a bad mom would continue the drugs and NOT admit she had a problem u rgetting help to get clean and that makes u the BEST mom... i too am a mommy of a 11 month old and am 33 days clean from perc's/vic's... it is a rough road i didnt take the methadone but hear it is pretty rough because of the long shelf life it stays in ur system longer causing longer w/d's. Just stay the coarse and stay strong USE this site to vent or get through every min u have too it WILL help. I know u dont feel like it but force urself to even get a little walk in as it really helps. Take some vitamins off the thomas recipe they do help a lot too. Soak in baths i was taking like 5 baths a day while w/ding. Make sure u DOOOO drink LOTS of water and gatorade if u get dehydrated it makes symptoms TEN times worse and the water helps flush the drugs out faster. I LOVED peeing so much i literally felt like i could feel the drugs leaving my body:) ur determined adn that is what it takes to do this. I am impressed u didnt take the sedatives most people want whatever they can get to feel better but in the end it will pay off for u taking other things really just mask the symptoms but u still have to go through it and u take the chances of getting hoocked on something else. Try and stay active idol time does NOT help i cleaned alot even tho if elt like i couldnt even stand. It takes a while i still have rough days but i am clean:) everyone on here is ALWAYS in my prayers everyday... i know what it is like and God knows too He will help u through it if u will lean on Him... i will be watching for ur post post as MUCH as u need to it will help and there r lots of people on here even people who r reading but have not yet mustered up the courage to start their journey so u can help people w out even knowing..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You can do this one hour at a time. Your an addict not a terrible person. We have al felt that way. Try and be gentle with yourself. Show yourself the love you show your baby.
Seriously, we know this is hard but it's doable, one day at a time..ok
Big hugzz!!!
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Avatar universal
It's the generic form of that I think she said. And yes he has off this weekend so it will
Make it easier. Yes she asked how my daughter was seeing as how she has not seen me since I had her. But said nothing after that except can you get help until your feeling well. It was a surprise to me that I didn't get a huge lecture. I'm still scared she may report me. But for now that even more of a reason to stay clean. To prove to everyone I wana be a great mom.
Helpful - 0
1831920 tn?1320857757
So that is good news.  I guess the baby didn't come up at the ER and there are no issues?  Can your boyfriend/mom help over the next couple weeks?  As Sara said - are you eating and drinking?  What kind of blood pressure meds did you get?   Clonidine is a blood pressure med that is helpful with opiate WD.  It would be good if that is what you got.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Went to the dr. My blood pressure was high so she gave me meds for that and wanted to prescribe me a sedative to sleep and help my muscles. And Would u believe it I said no. I'm done with this crap. I wana no drugs. I'm so so so done. Baby is still with my mom till boyfriend gets off work. So she's safe. And im making my way thru this torture.
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1831920 tn?1320857757
Hi - you are a great mom - you were sacrificing yourself because you were afraid your daughter would be taken from you.  I hope you didn't have to talk about her at the E/R.  You got her to your mom's ASAP and that shows how much you cared for her.  Taking care of any child during WDs is very difficult, let alone a baby.  I had to take care of a 9 year old and I thought that was tough.  I can't imagine a baby and WD from a high amount of Meth is just impossible to imagine.  I just really hope your mom can help.  I will be thinking about you.  Please let us know how you are doing.  I will be thinking about you.  Blessings......
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
HI Lynn......I had a feeling you would be hiting a freight train coming off 30 to me anything above 10 is cruel but we have had members jump from 240 120 100 80 so 30 is up there but just know it can be don if your feeling like youir blacking out or going to its probablly because your B/P is spiking mine was 120 over 170 wile I detoxed my doctor choose not to treat it because it was normally good and he was right after the detox it went back down to likew 75 over 110 but you need this checked out you jumped at a lot higher dose then me one member described it as it felt like the mussels being torn from his bones and she was at 40 when she jumped get to an E/Rthey will give you cloindine and something to calm you down it ok for a short script  the clondine is an old fashion B/P med that helps a lot with wothdrawals I wish this would be over in a few days for you but from 30mg expect 2weeks of this it will steadily get better but its brutal for 2 weeks from what others that have gone b/4 you tell me
I just want you to know you got my 100% support if you just need to takl or vent message me I have been threw this myself and with many others right now about all you can do is a hot soak in the tub a wirlpool tub would be great but a standerd one will work use epeson salt it forses the magnesium into your body are you sleeping at all??? ansd will mom be able to help you out for a few days time to call everybody you know and tell them your deathly sick and need help with the baby hope all goes well at the E/R good luckand God bless......Gnarly....your in my prayers  
Helpful - 0
1855076 tn?1337115303
Maybe you don't have to say anything about the baby.  I'm not sure what they can give you at the ER that will make a huge difference, though I"m sure even IV fluids will help.

Is there any way you could stay with your mom for a few weeks until you feel a little stronger?  Does she know about your problem?  If not, could you tell her?  This is a heavy weight to carry.  Are you looking into some kind of aftercare?  I know at the immediate moment you need some physical relief but the aftercare part is important.

No one here is going to judge you.  Lots of people fall into the trap of addiction.  It doesn't mean they don't love their kids.  Getting clean is the best gift you can give your daughter and yourself.

But babies can be demanding even when you're at your best.  If you could stay with your mom, or someone, while you're getting stronger, it would be best for your baby and you.

I know Gnarly recommends, among other things, a protein shake that he gets at Walmart.  (Can't remember exactly what it is, but if you look through some of his posts, you'll find it.)  Right now you're probably not feeling like eating, but keeping up your nutrition is important.  ANd hydration is hugely important.  Are you taking other things from the Thomas Recipe to help some of your symptoms/

Methadone seems to be one of the hardest things to come off and time seems to be the only real healer.  Hope to hear what happened with the doctor/ER and hope they can help.
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Lynn, you are in no way terrible.  None of us feel that way.  We want you to get better.  Let us know how you are when you can.  Hugs to you, sara
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Avatar universal
No I guess not. Your right. I know it seems like in a terrible mon but I'm really not I love that baby with everything in me. I just am an addict. I hope you all don't think I'm terrible. She has everything she needs and could ever want. Now her mommy just needs to get well.
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1831920 tn?1320857757
do you have to volunteer info about the baby?  so glad your mom has the baby.  good luck.
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Avatar universal


Good luck - you can do it :)
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Avatar universal
My mom picked up baby. And I'm calling now. Please wish me luck. I'm so scared they will involve my baby. Ugh.
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1801781 tn?1461629469
You have got to get the a doctor NOW!  
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1831920 tn?1320857757
what did your dr say?  did you talk to your mom?
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Avatar universal
Nope I was doing it cause I'm an addict. Not from clinic just stupidly.
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1831920 tn?1320857757
I don't know how cps works in CA.  The most important thing is to get your baby safely in your mom's care.  Were you taking meth because you were addicted to something else?
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Are you eating or drinking anything?  You gotta keep yourself hydrated.
Helpful - 0
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495284 tn?1333894042
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