I feel the same way. I'm in pain everyday and some days it's almost unbearable. When my wife asks me what’s wrong and I tell her it’s my back she kind if just shrugs it off and walks away. Most times I try not to let it show because it’s kind of a broken record. I feel like getting a T-shirt with “Having Severe Pain” Don’t ask…cause when you do tell them they just kind of look at you with the blank stare on move on…
I have pretty much made the fact of my pain off limits as I get tired of trying to explain what it is like to walk with all the metal and swelling that occurs.. Although I get out more it is not to socialize.. I'm not sure if it is a effect of the drug addicts life style or if it is me.. I know when your in pain socializing sounds like a chore.
I feel the way you all do most of the time. You just start saying " I am fine" when asked. My husband says he can tell by looking at me when I hurt. I get tired of hurting so I figure people get tired of hearing it. When there is nothing that can be done I think you just start learning to deal with it. When I was on Hydros at first I really thought I should take them b/c my Dr gave them to me. Now I think they made my pain worse at times. I think too that people that have not had chronic pain can not understand how frustrating and depressing it can be.
I surely hear you worried ...... it has even given me cause to wonder if life wasnt actually of a shade higher quality when I was opiated up. And I do realize that opiated up is not a viable option for me anymore. . But the chronic pain does affect quality of life and even enjoyable activities. It isolates just like the narcs. But at least without the abstinence syndrome. I have been thinking of a fifty gallon barrel of that capsiacan pepper juice to just immerse in........something has to work at some time! Maybe I did pick a bad century to quite hard narcotics?
I know I get tired of answering and don't want to talk about it, but people are concerned, at least some are--many aren't, and that's ok. But my spouse who has terrible pain also has always been there for me, and I'm there for him. Cymer, I am sorry to have read what you wrote, it must be hard, you are in my prayers. Blessings to all.
Sign me up also for understanding exactly what you are saying. People truly DO get tired of hearing that we hurt, and often I lie and say I'm fine when my husband asks "how is your back" because I feel like a decrepted old woman.
I relapsed during the holidays. My excuse, which of course my dr said "sure, that's fine" was...I am going to enjoy the holidays with the least amount of pain that I can. So I did. For 2 weeks. Then, I ran out, and just stopped. No withdrawel this time...taking about 6/day. I guess it was a nice "escape", but also, I know, playing with fire. I'm 10 days clean today.
Chronic pain has also screwed with my quality of life. No more walks, bike riding, walking around on vacation ,etc etc. Cannot take NSAIDS because of stomach problems. Ice is my best freind,, as well as physical therapy excercises.
But yes, no one knows what it's like to hurt every single day unless they themselves hurt every single day.
I gotta throw out a huge "well done" to Ranger CYMER.....hes dealing well with family and life with some pain. And the VA even threatended stopping benefits if he ceased taking large amounts of morphine daily. And before he burnt in the last thing that he saw besides the parachute malfunction was the belly of a C-130 flying away from him. That got him on the meds......but in true "Ranger - lead the way.." tradition he got things squared away himself in pretty good shape. ......................listen to him...Army strong!!
i totally understand about the chronic pain issue.....and i also wholeheartedly agree with whomever said that he wonders whether his quality of life has been compromised by being OFF the painkillers.....i wonder that myself at times.....cuz so far, i'm in constant pain....even husband and rest of family doesn't understand, they just say "oh, buck up and deal with it".....my husband wouldn't even know what chronic pain was if it bit him in the ***....i want so bad to just keep my pain issues to myself, especially after the WHOLE entire family knowing about my detox, thanks to the blabbing of my husband....both issues ARE very isolating, pretty equally to me.....
mythoughts r always with u
by no means did i mean to be off the hook,,we got addicted just like the lot..the few us who can say "i never once used for the high r off the hook..whose hook? who cares...i do think chronic painers have an extra burden to bear..recreational use ..yes will not deny..u know lots of people use for the pain only with none of this abuse stuff associted... wonder how many?u r a chronic painer and an addict..hiding ur negativity/we think/as we dont feel part of the human race as a chronic whiner//so we learn to stay quiet? heathy??????????I think not
You are preachin' to the choir! Man, isolating? I can't begin to tell you how many times I had to say no to things, people inviting me places, family get-togethers, reunions, hubby and kids goin' places, friends...I could go ON and ON. After a while, people stopped askin' me to go places too, b/c they knew I'd say no. I felt that people didn't always understand, either. People would think I wasn't buckin' up or bitin' the bullet, or whatever...maybe they thought the pain surely could not be that bad. I don't know...maybe even these were my own fears of what people were thinking, that I unfairly placed on them. Either way, it sucked. The worst of it was when my husband and kids would go somewhere and I couldn't go....I wanted them to be happy and to not miss out on anything, so I always encouraged them to go and I'd assure them that I'd be fine....and I was fine, kinda. I mean, I didn't croak when they were gone, or even break a bone, but emotionally, I was a mess. I'd cry for a little while after they left, and then I'd suck it up and hang on. It's tough to reflect on frankly, but whew, am I glad those days are pretty much done.
That being said, I still can't do SOME things...these are few and far between, and I suppose, given all I've regained, a small price to pay, but still...take tomorrow/today, for example. My eldest is going skiing after school with her ski club...my husband is going to drive up separately and meet them up there. I LOVED skiing. I MISS skiing...I MISS skiing with my husband. I missED skiing with my eldest b/c I have only been able to do it once right in the beginning of my illness. She was little then. I have thought about it, and whether or not I'd be able to do it, my husband and eldest think not. They're probably right....standing in my own kitchen kills me, so how could I hope to ski. STILL, I wonder if I could do it for a couple of hours. The trouble is the cost to go and then find out I have to sit on my a$$ after paying..and then my husband would feel like he needed to stop skiing and be with me. Maybe though, I just need a little more time. I have just found a wonderful combination of things that is allowing me to function more than I have in many years (the latest in the arsenal is a TENS unit). Well, sorry for the long-windedness worried, but I guess you can see that I totally relate.
Probably off the wall answer but when the pain gets bad, I usually take Aleve until the pain goes away. I don't have the pain too much because of exercise and muscle strengthening but when I do, I like you prefer not to discuss...most people don't understand anyway.
And like Jacqui...sometimes I just say no. We're working on one of our rentals and in the past, I would do much of the work myself, painting, carpet clean, drywall, etc. This time I told my wife not interested in any of that work and we need to contract out. Difference before was while on the meds, I felt no pain and just worked through it. She honestly thinks I'm getting lazy :-)...can you believe that?
I would like to find a xhronic pain group here...or maybe even start one..where people can go like to a weekly meeting like na or aa...i am almost positive we do not have a group like that here...a place where people can talk about how they deal with pain..many would probably be addicts..many not..many might be physicalluy addicted only..many may be choosing to live without narcotics..it would be interesting and i think it would help me alot...i do think that like addiction..if u have never experienced daily pain for years and years it is har to relate..mine has been 23 years now and have good days and bad days....I have spent tons of money on my back and have every contraption under the sun,,i think when we hurt we will try just about anything..anything to "be normal" like everyone else..go skiing, running, play tennis, or just relax ewithout always having heat or ice on my back and a kinda sad expression of my face/if u look closely it is there and i try hard to smile and laugh in spite of it....can be tiring to say the least