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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

Conefesson is good for the soul??

Hello all, I have been taking adderal for about 10 years (20 mg in the morning and 20mg in the evening). I have had some surgeries over the past couple of years and asked the doctor to not prescribe any kind of narcodic so he prescribed me Tramadol (Ultram). I took that for about a year or so and when I stopped I went through a month of hell. Since then I have found myself taking Norco's or Percosets anytime I can. I have a major energy boost when I take them but when I run out I am lethargic to say the least. I have never told anyone any of this and I am hesitant to even post this. I am supposed to be a successful business man, with a beautiful wife and two beautiful children. From the outside im sure it appears that I have everything a person could ask for. But it's not enough, why? Why is it not enough? I've never told anyone this because I don't want everyone else to see the failure that I see when I look in the mirror. People can always say that they won't judge you because of your past and they will still love you but honestly I know I view people differently when I find out they are addicts or have been. I guess I don't really have a question as much as I wanted to rant. I didn't really post this looking for sympathy it just feels good letting someone know what I really feel like (even if it is complete strangers).
12 Responses
Avatar universal
Hi and welcome. I giggled when you wrote "why isn't it enough" because your lament is IDENTICAL to everyone else's when they are coming to terms w/ addiction. You're an addict. And addiction not only doesn't discriminate, but makes zero sense. We know we shouldn't take pills, we "should" have enough in life, but we can't stop. The essence of addiction.

If I had a dollar for every attractive, successful person in my meetings, I'd be a millionaire. I mean people in the top of their professions in the entertainment industry: actors, writers, producers, lawyers and everything else. The outside stuff is meaningless. We need to get to the root of what makes us use in the first place, that's what recovery is for.

If you are ready to detox and want to start recovering we are here. No need to be embarrassed, we've all heard it, on here, and in "real" life countless times. Your story is the same as millions of others. Hope that makes you feel less alone.
1 Comments
I realize you were trying to be helpful but knowing I am just one of millions somehow doesn't comfort me. Before I ever started using I used to be successful without using. I have ADD and I don't feel that taking adderal was a gateway as I never have taken it to try and feel a certain way just to slow my thoughts down. That being said I have often wondered if I had never started taking adderal would my life be different? I have had surgeries in the past and have never had the desire to take more pain medication than what was prescribed but over the past couple of years that has changed. So, that being said, how would one go about "getting to the root" of what makes us want to use? On a random side note, can the use of adderal cause one to go bald pre-maturely ?
Avatar universal
You're among friends here and I'm glad you found us!  Are you wanting to stop?  Have you shared any of this with your wife?  I would recommend that but you can refrain from sharing outside of your home.

We always feel like we can't live without our drug of choice while we're in the thick of it. Once you get clean of the pills your brain chemicals normalize and your natural energy will return. It all depends on what you want to do and how positive your attitude is. I'll tell you though, the pills really mess with our thinking and decisions and perceptions. That's one reason why you don't like the mirror!

We're here and happy to help!
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Success sometimes comes with a price.  Yours came in the form of using to escape the stress.  Those pills give us a false sense of security and are only a symptom of what is going on with you.  You dont have to live like this anymore. There is hope and help out here.  Keep talking with us~
1 Comments
So am I supposed to throw away what I have worked so hard for? Leave everything and do like they do on intervention? That's not an option, my family would not be able to financially survive without me. It takes every penny that my wife and I earn to pay the bills. So are you saying my only options are rehab or continuing down this road that I'm on?
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
What we are saying is there is help out here and you dont have to live in active addiction.  You can continue to be a successful businessman, husband and father, actually even better than before.  There are many forms of aftercare out there.  This isnt hopeless at all.  Recovery isnt a death sentence.  We know what you are going thru and how you feel right now.  We are on your side.  Most of us work, are married, have families and we are productive adults.
1 Comments
Ok, so where would I start?
Avatar universal
There is the option to attempt to cut back slowly on your own with help from these good people here, but I guess you know that will probably not be enough. Accepting you are an addict -someone that abuses drugs is the first step to getting help. Its up to you what you do but there is help out there from the medical people. Detox is tough.
1 Comments
Well as of today I am down to three Norco 10 mg a day and I continue to take my adderal as prescribed (20mg in the am and 20 mg in the afternoon). Obviously I need to stop taking everything for pain. I had foot surgery for plantar fasciitis at the end of March and am still not 100% released. But if I'm honest the pain in my foot does not require the amount of meds I am currently taking. I can honestly say that I have never abused the prescribed addera. For me it has a very different effect from the people who take it recreationally. I have heard people say that taking adderal makes them stay up all night and for me it does the opposite. The best way I know to describe it is that it helps me turn my brain off at night and allows me to sleep without thinking about 4 million things. So should I quit taking the adderal even though I am taking it as prescribed? Another question I asked in a previous post, which is very random, is that, does or can taking adderal make a person lose their hair prematurely?
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hair loss can be a side effect of the adderall but not a common one.  Stress can cause hair loss also.

Are the pills you are taking something you could talk to your wife about?  I believe in total honesty but i know that doesnt work for everyone.  Alot of times it starts out very innocent with an injury or surgery and the pills end up turning on us.  Keep reducing slowly...
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
If you decide to stop taking the adderall please dont just stop.  Those need to be tapered down very slowly.
2 Comments
I have not told my wife. Her brother is an addict who has no desire to quit and has torn their family apart. For that reason I don't want to tell her. That part is killing me, I have never been unfaithful or ever kept anything from her. I am going to stop the pain meds but I'm wondering if taking adderal is problematic? Tomorrow I am going to take 2 Norco 10mg and continue that for a couple of days, any suggestions??
I'd leave the aderall alone right now. One thing at a time. Later if you want to stop just check with your doctor first and do a slow taper.
With the Norco, there are a couple of ways to go about detoxing. You can stop completely and get it done. You won't feel well for several days but it gets better. Then there's tapering off which you seem to be doing right now. The thing is the taper needs to be slow over time. Otherwise it's like stopping cold turkey; you'll still feel badly.
Think about what way you want to go and we'll try to help and make suggestions.
Addiction, detox, and recovery can be a lonely time. It's nice to have support and someone to share with so if you can't talk to your wife, you need to find someone. A therapist, doctor, clergy, AA group...are a few ways to get support. It's not necessary to go to a Rehab facility but you're going to need Aftercae/Recovery care. Ask us about it. First concentrate on getting off the Norco and eliminating your source.
Stay in touch-
Avatar universal
You have a lot of uncertainty and a lot of questions. It will be VERY helpful to you to go into an AA or NA meeting. You don't need to be clean to go.  Everyone in there understands and things will become clearer once you start hearing other stories.
Avatar universal
For the norco, just stop. It will be uncomfortable but it won't kill you. I was taking up to 15 norco a day and I just stopped. You will have some wds but there is no escaping that. Get rid of them.
1 Comments
Going from 3 to 2 norco is just prolonging your agony and won't make a difference in your detox discomfort.
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
I misread the dose you were taking. I agree, just get rid of them  now and get that part over with.
1235186 tn?1549257619
COMMUNITY LEADER
Welcome and congrats on wanting to reclaim your life.
There is freedom from the chains and bondage.
Get some therapy You can see an addiction counselor or psychologist.
Avatar universal
Hey Dude how you feeling today???  I agree with the others  just jump and get it over with in 4 to 6 days  once your on the last few pills your really going to feel the drops in dose  it is all about the % of drop and your blood serum level when you drop just 1 pill from 3  that is 33% of drop  then from 2 to 1 is a 50% drop so by doing it you feel lousy and wont start to feel better until you done so it prolongs how long your dope sick  keep us up to date where here to help
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
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495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
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phoenix, AZ
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