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Counselor, wants me to stop going on this forum? Why?

Today, I went to speak with my counselor who has recomended to me to stop going onto this forum & reading & replying to others who are detoxing off methadone or any other drug, as she feels it may set me up for failure, she claims that the horror stories Im reading about are mostly people who are jumping off to fast or simply may have other demons learking in their closets, Im partial to detoxing off at 4mgs & she claims that it is not a right choice, as I will be another sad statistic of the readers I hear about becoming so ill that they must go to a ER for help, while she may be correct on jumping off at 4mgs, I dont feel that she is correct about this site, as I told her that I get only positive responses from people on the forum. She wants me to join a group in which I can comunicate one on one, which I understand, but what I dont get is why she thinks this is a negative forum?
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Avatar universal
Is this forum making you want to use? Is this site a trigger in any way? Im not trying to judge your drug counselor , but I agree with Giz, maybe she doesnt want to lose the patients money. for a few years  I sold cocaine to support my own habit, and one of my best customers would come over and we would smoke coke all night. When the sun come up she would get her bag, take a shower, grab a hundred and I would run her to work.The hundred got her thru the day, and she would have me pick her up and back to my house. This would go for 3 days , usually 2 or 3 times a month.Her job--COURT APPOINTED DRUG COUNSELOR. So I think you just need to feel whats right for you, and go with it. She can counsel, but i checked and your an adult so do what keeps you clean.
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Avatar universal
I totally agree.  This thread should end here.  

1  I never called you stupid
2  book smarts and street smarts are two entire issues
3  I never said that there were not good people out here
4  Don't accuse me of saying something I did not say
5  We agree to disagree, and that's ok.

6 THE END.
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412194 tn?1233621532
Well you have your opinion I have mine.  Like I said I am NOT stupid.  When I meet folks from the net I use good judgement, never meet them alone, and in a very public place. You think you have cornered the market on the bad stuff on here NOT!  And maybe you did have a bad experience, BUT others have had wonderful experiences and made lifelong friends.  I met the most wonderful person in my life YES on the net, we became friends first.  I also know about all the Pedophiles and predators and all the gory stuff on the net like I said I am NOT stupid as you seem to like to make me out as.  I do however have an open mind, and get to know people before meeting them by phone, mail and any other way I can before meeting them friends of friends etc.  If you have a closed mind to the wonderful world of the net then that is what you will meet other close minded people.  Maybe you had a bad experience because you didn't take the proper precutions before meeting whom ever you met.  Sorry to hit a nerve but you have to use good judgement when meeting anyone, that goes for real life and dating and so forth you don't really know that person's past and he/she may live next door to you.  I am done with this now, YOU do NOT run my life and therefore I will thank you to mind your own life instead of mine, and find someone else you'd like to beatup on the net lolol because I dont take kindly to being singled out and have gone up against better adversaries than you in my years of tech support..    And NO I will NOT become another statistic you can take that to the bank!  GOODBYE Nauty, I think this thread is getting very OLD, and I feel you should mind your bussiness instead of MINE!.  
color me not arguing with you any longer  if you don't like me you do not need to respond to my posts BUT I am NOT leaving like others have that has had run in's with you.
SWTBREEZIE
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417564 tn?1287982827
One thing that is awesome with the internet - which I have never before been a huge fan of aside from research...the nonprejudice love and support shown here.  That, to me, is the best thing the internet has going for it...you cannot be prejudice because you don't know enough to...I wish it were like that always..everywhere.
Helpful - 0
199177 tn?1490498534
yes it can be very dangerous .......... I had not even thought of many of the things you just brought up ,and i think of myself as educated and street smart as well ,but you are right
you have to be soooooo careful,for your protection and the protection of our families
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417564 tn?1287982827
I did not respond earlier because I did not have a positive answer for you...I only had a negative answer...and I do not like to be that way.  But...health care professionals would prefer us all to stay in the dark rather than find support here...how much money would all of us have spent at this point on the same therapy we get here...getting it through the medical field?  There are some people who still care but it is unfortunate that they seem few and far between.  I could go on and on which is why I elected not to post before - I get too lengthy sometimes!!!  Yes, I know.
How are things going with your taper now?  Do you have a problem with memory loss associated with methadone?  I might post that......
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Avatar universal
I am also everything that you describe of yourself.  I had the same attitude.  We are so much alike you wouldn't know.  Thinking what a great judge of character I was......and thinking I was taking all precautions, I consider myself educated, and with all the knowledge regarding the internet.........I still became a victim. !!   I hope and wish that this will never happen to you.  But, your still playing with Russian Roulette.  I wish I could say more, but it would be too heavy for this forum and not really appropriate.  

nauty.........

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Avatar universal
Yeah, you did strike a nerve with me.  I'm not saying its not impossible to meet or even have cyber friends.  The internet is loaded with good people, and loaded with Freaks! Pedophiles and predators of all kind, and if you for one minute think you can judge someones intentions or character by the font they use.........thats naive in my opinion.  Thats the kind of mentality that gets young children abused, abducted and dragged into human trafficking...... and I can go on, but I think you get the point. I know what I am talking about, because I work with this issue as a volunteer and feel strong enough that I can make theses statements by FACTS!  There are just as many of us that think we are a good judge of character that get scammed, raped, or married to someone you find on America's Most Wanted !!  I believe that I am a good judge of good character.......I know I am , but using the internet is dangerous......I don't care what you say.  It's a whole different world out here.  Maybe you have just been lucky so far.

Whenever you are dealing with the internet ........It Can BE Dangerous!  I will change my wording if it makes you feel better.  I will call you misinformed if that makes you feel better.  I can provide you with FACTS that may change your mind or may not.  I am speaking from my personal experience.....you can't argue with that

No disrespect.

Nauty.....................
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Avatar universal
You are weaning off methadone? I did that last summer, it was not very fun, but if you wean off slow enough it's not that bad. Good Luck!
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Avatar universal
Hi Penelope, My name is Mike.
I read your post and tried to read all 64 responses, but honestly only got through 9 or 10 because they all said the same thing. Aside from one post relating to asking if anyone wnats to try and set up a meet and greet location which got over 100 replies; this post has received the most replies; and I think nearly every single one of them says the same thing....this site has been great for them, and has enabled them/convinced them/motivated them. etc... to get the treatment they deserve and routinely visit to share their progress. I think (overwhelmingly) that we all have the best intentions in mind. Your couneselor has her reasons...perhaps you should take time to ask and fully understand her motives. I would suggest that you print this entire log off and take it into your counselor to review. Perhaps she will see for herself that we self-assisting and reachable at times when she or anyone else may not be reachable....whether its 6am or 2am..someone is always on this site.
For me, God has been my strength, but this site sure did motivate me in the beginning to seek help. I do not believe I would have had the same desire going into my detox as what I did had it not been for this site. I am almost a month clean now and the Suboxone is working great for me. God has truly blessed myself and its carried over into my family and friends. Life is so freakin good now. Clean; clear minded; calmer; more energy; sleeping is fantastic!!!!!!!; friendlier; richer...lol; every facet of my life is so much better...and it all started with this site, which I believe God led me to in order to get started...truth, that is how I feel. Anyway, I wish you and everyone here the best of luck. Stay sober, trust in God and family will LOVE you!
Mikewithfamily
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412194 tn?1233621532
You need to read the first post again, before singling one person out.  NO ONE said they did not want ME out here it was "penelope's" councellor not wanting penelope on the forum.  I don't have a clue why you chose to beat me up but you need to address the correct person.  I personally feel something is wrong when you begin picking on one person, BUT be sure you have the facts and of course the right person to reply too.My reading skills have yet to suffer from the w/d.  I have NEVER singled people out I think it is rude and crude to do it, you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.  NOW, I am not leaving the forum, I have too many FRIENDS here I have made in a short time.  If you do not wish to comment on my posts by all means ignor them, they are not directed at you or anyone else to hurt.  I have lots of compassion and empathy and love and caring to give, no I'm not an expert by any means but I don't claim to be.  All I can do is offer support, and compassion, which is what I do.  I have been through more than you will ever go through in your lifetime and am probably a lot older and wiser for it than you think.  When you losea child which is the ultimate blow in life come talk to me, until then you would not understand.
no so niave breezie
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412194 tn?1233621532
awwwww thanks guys.  You got me in tears.  I love you to pieces.  I may be niave in somethings but I can spot a BSer in a heart beat, and you guys just made my day!  I don't understand why some seem to single out one person but it happens.  AND yes I still stick to my guns about making friends.  I look at it this way, "a stranger is only a friend I have NOT met yet"  and you can't have too many friends. Negativity has no place in here nor does singling out one person in particularly to make them feel bad, I have been to hell and back and NOTHING can bring me down certainly not a person who is oviously stuck in their own world and doesnt have an open mind to others. You two are "FRIENDS" who have been here from day one to support and recieve support, with me I appreciate you so very much I could not have done it with out you guys,and we all are worthy of both. Dove, Gizzy,Blance, r2r all the peole who have been so kind to me
I love ya
hugz (((((((((((MyAngels))))))))))))
swtbreezie
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Avatar universal
I've always wanted to say how sorry I am for all you've had to deal with.....I dont' think we've ever really crossed threads, but I just can't bear the thought....you're so tough for handling what you have....TO rise above the demons of this and find love again......and to try to heal and continue on!   a big ole hug to you!!!!
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401786 tn?1309152034
I was just about to logoff and saw your posts here.  I thought I was gonna get reamed for what I wrote, especially my last post prior to this one on this thread.  I've got your back babe, and I'm sorry for all that's happened to you.  It's important that we all voice our opinions when we need to, and you've got to feel safe and unthreatened to do so.  I'm fairly naive about some stuff myself, but I also believe that most people are good, and honest people.  Like you, and can be like candy, but I can also be a formidable foe when I need to be, so, if we need to go into battle, we're unstoppable.  
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412194 tn?1233621532
All I did was give my views on the councelling thing as everyone else did, I didnt expect to be singled out and beat up for my view like everyone else had a view, I never told them to do it, I said what "I" would do!  The have a mind of their own to go or not to go, and I support them in any decision they make I just don;t have to go to councelling, and if I did it would be grief councelling, I have my NA here and with my wonderful guy, BUT obviously I struck a nerve with you.  I have no problems with you and I feel this thread of singling me out as others feel the friendships and love also is a done deal now!  Don't let the name fool you I am probably older and wiser than most, I can also be toughlovebreezie  BUT I choose to be,
swtbreezie
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412194 tn?1233621532
That was NOT my councellor, I don't have one, you musthave read someone else about councellor not wanting them to come here..  My NA is here on the forum, and with my wonder Fiancee who supports me unconditionally and God of course..  I may sound niave BUT I read people well, you cannot be in tech support that long without being able to know BS when you see it.  Yes I reply but there are some I would NOT meet in church.  I said I am not a stupid person, I am very educated, an a nurse along with that.  I am a very easy person to get along with until my toes are stepped on, and you can't know how niave I am unless you know me in person.  I just am a people person, and the post was just my opinion, of counellors, you can't call in the middle of the night when things are tough, but you can find a friend to share with here.  I don't know where you got that I had a councellor but I never had one.  I went for bereavement councelling a month after I lost hubby and babygirl.  AND you know what they said, it was just after hurricane rita.  "I'm sorry but you do not qualify for assistance, you have NOT been bereaved long enough"  HOW LONG is long enough to be bereaved after you lose 2 loved ones in immediate family and go through devastation of hurricane and losing your home all in a few short months?  NIAVE NO I am not niave.  HA  needless to say I begain looking for support other places, it was a money thing 2 deaths in a month and a half and I was about crazy, and I didnt qualify.  hummmmmmmm  I do not have much faith in paid councellors.  I didnt have mega bucks to pay him, so convieniently I did not qualify.  I looked at him and said well I thought you would say that, BUT if I jumped from a bridge tomorrow bwcause I cannot cope you would say I wish I had helped that lady, I turned and said I am NOT going to give you the satifaction, and walked out and preceeded to go get my baby girl burried 2 months after she passes, I feel that's a pretty strong person to do this all on my own, certainly NOT niave.  SO unless you know just what makes me tick, I am NOT as niave as I sound, easy going yes, make friends easily yes, BUT can hold my own with the toughest ones, and toughest situations.

Thanks Gizzy for your support and views on the friend thing.  hugz
swtbreezie
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Avatar universal
Hi Everyone...one thing that I didn't see discussed was the choice for anonymity.  As a young professional, I'm working hard on the career, well most days, and if an issue about meds came out, the disclosure could be damaging.  I'm not shy about recovering in the least bit but counseling, NA mtgs, etc are not an option for me at this point. Why...information has a way of coming out....background checks can be very detailed; this is only my opinion...to each his own.  

I think I'm at 37 or 38 days and feel really good....this forum, the people, the feedback and just being able to share the experiences has been vey theraputic (med term :-)). I agree with other posters, most people are honest...I mean why would anyone lie in a forum where noone knows you...

I can honestly say drugs are not an issue; oh.I know I can't take any but I definitlty don't have any cravings...now those cigs...day 12 on those and those cravings are driving me crazy...had a few beers with friends last night and so wanted one, two, three LOL...i stayed on target...

Please Keep Posting....I always apperciate the exchanges here...

Nick


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Avatar universal
My personal opinion regarding your comment to me.  If this is what you told your counselor I would have suggested the same thing.  What you said really kinda scared me.  Please don't take what I am saying the wrong way, but being in the internet meeting greeting for 14 years.  You post sounded very naive to me.  Regardless, the choice is yours, and I agree with the other poster that .......ask her why she does not want you out here.......we can only speculate at this point unless we know what her reasons are.

Nauty...........
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401786 tn?1309152034
I was reading and re-reading some stuff on here and had to post this.  I may not make a friend to say this, but I'm saying it nonetheless.  It is my true, honest, opinion.  As a nurse, we are trained not to judge people.  Judging comes in all forms.  It can be not necessarily trusting someone when they say they have pain for example.  We are trained, and given rationale that is not appropriate or helpful in any way to anyone.  If someone here tells us they're on whatever, we've got to give them the benefit of the doubt.  I have no idea if someone's bulls****ing me, but it's not my place to figure this out.  All I can do is help when I can.  If I really think someone's not being upfront, I always have the option to not respond.  We can't even judge someone based on what we'd do or what we've experienced and then compare, because we all can be so different.  While this is not the social forum, we are humans, and therefore, very social.  We deal with grief, death, tragedy, ups, downs, joys, thrills, celebrations, all with people.  We all go through this journey down different paths, many different ways, but we all want to meet up with someone who can share in our experiences.  We all want to know we're "normal" and not alone in life or in our situations.  A lot of folks think there's no one left that's good in the world, or that they're few and far between.  Not so.  I can recount inumerable tales of kindness that not only I have witnessed, but have had personal experience with.  It is entirely possible to "meet" someone here and develop a friendship with them.  It all depends on who you are.  I have met some folks here, that I wold definitely consider friends, and plan to meet some and have spoken on the phone with two.  What time frame is it supposed to take in order to friendship to "really" happen?  What locale is this "suposed" to take place in?  I think there is more honesty here since they don't have to look into someone's eyes, and that part can come later.  People here are pouring out their hearts here, and as for those who may have been "scared off"...they weren't ready to be here.  There are some ugly truths to addiction, dependency, etc., and sugar coating it isn't gonna help anyone.  In fact, it helped me more to read some of the "horror" stories because I knew my own deal wasn't so freakishly bizzare, and had I not been to the stage to quit, I would have because I read how badly things were for some folks who were on stuff longer.  I'm really not trying to ream anyone out here, really...I'm just trying to put my point of view up here.  I don't have all the answers, but I do have an opinion, and I felt it needed to be voiced.  
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Avatar universal
this turned into a great post and everyone that responded is right. although we need real friends, i don't think there is nothing wrong with having a few close friends on here. in fact i have talked to a couple on the phone and plan on meeting one. i support n/a 100% and it is a wonderful program and it helped me for sure. but for me i relapsed while i was going. ya see, i found out that half the people there were there under court order so they were forced to attend and then as i got to know some people i learned quick they were still using and some were going to score drugs the second that meeting was done. i found that tough to know about and although 90% of people in my group were trying to get clean, there we a few that had no desire. i relapsed and found this forum and since then i am clean the longest in quite some time. this forum is here 24 hours and although there are a few negatives in here, it's just like anywhere else, but for the most part this place is amazing. just like anywhere you go, there is always someone that likes to bring people down because they are unhappy with themselves and i feel sorry for them. once again i fully support N/A and tell everyone wanting to get clean that is the best way to start, but it is not for everyone and that is why some feel comfortable here.
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Avatar universal
I agree....I used to go to meetings and I shopped around for the right one...It took me weeks of going right on down the list until I found one I was comfortable with and fell in love with....but ...sobriety is the goal!  
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Avatar universal
I agree with flutter and respect everyones opinion about a person needing support and suggestions,,Theres a saying that goes " MY best thinking got me here",,people need people,,
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401786 tn?1309152034
Absolutely, amen.  People often think when they go see a counselor that counselors don't work for 'em, not having considered the fact that it may have been THE counselor, or their counseling STYLE.  We all are different and we're not all gonna be diggin' on the same kinda cake, if you get me.

Jacqui
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390416 tn?1275185087
I hear you both...and totally agree..i've been in the program 17 yrs..and w/o it i would be DEAD!!!! I also agree...people need to shop around..if one mtg. doesn't work...try another...I've been to alot  of mtgs. in many different cities...and every single one of them has a little different flavor...but they ALL live the simple program.......
Take what you need...and leave the rest!  Thanks!!
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