DAY 10.....clean, clean, clean

[hatethewrongroad]

My mind is clear, and things are so much more focused for me now, no more scrambling to see how many pills i have left, can i convince the doctor to give me more, and then the inevitable anxiety knowing I'm facing time of withdrawal before i get anymore. NEVER AGAIN!!   i can look to the future with a calm in knowing my days are EVEN, not only having my good moments be when i decide to use my pills and then that time passes, i sink into irritation, not wanting to deal with my kids..basically trying to put everyting on hold till i take more pills..NEVER AGAIN!!   I have tremendous back pain, going through a bankruptcy  my husband and daughter (her step-dad) fighting terrible as always,,,,,the pressure is there, but I do what i need to as if there were no such things as drugs..i go stretch my back on my bed and relax for a few minutes, i cry, i pray and pray andpray,  i fill my mind (reading) with positive spiritual things that in my case give me strength,  I go out of my house and walk (that is a really good one to help you) even at night i drive to certain spots, lock the doors and crack the windows to get some cold night air.(I live in an area where this is not blatantly dangerous)......in other words i am LEARNING how you live life,  all of us on this site are learning that, some have already received their degrees in much of it, but we are all in the same school.   thank you so much for all the support you provide thru this process.

[quitinoxys]

I know how you feel about the pain making you gravitate to the pills, but unfortunatly it is an endless cycle. I don't know what problems you have with your knees but I know it can be quite painful. If it is a mechanical problem it can be fixed and then you could stop taking the pain meds. If you can get through the pain without taking opiates you will be able to quit. You just need to pick a day and just do it. How much and how long have you be using?

[hatethewrongroad]

I want you to be next also. But, are you abusing the pills or using them as prescribed and still want off of them?     I am so sorry about your pain, I have great empathy for you,  I have constant pain in my back and in my knees, for so long I thought how can I get by without them, I have legitimate pain, but I was abusing the pills. I have a RX every month,allowed me 8 a day vicoden, but over time i wanted the feeling the pills brought in the beginning, so i would take more and more. I was heading in a vicious cycle every month (running out of pills-withdrawal for a while-get rx filled again-everytime thinking ths time i will take only as prescribed-NEVER EVER happened...finally had ENOUGH!  how bout u?

[bama88]

I'm so proud of you. I want to be next. I have terrible knees and lots of pain. I just am frustrated. I am trying to find a way to quit myself. And then my pain hits and I give in. I've put myself in a bad place with these pills. I read the posts on here and its eye opening. I've tried talking to my mom and she tells.me I need them now and well deal with Xerox later. I need to know what to do... help

[bama88]

I'm so proud of you. I want to be next. I have terrible knees and lots of pain. I just am frustrated. I am trying to find a way to quit myself. And then my pain hits and I give in. I've put myself in a bad place with these pills. I read the posts on here and its eye opening. I've tried talking to my mom and she tells.me I need them now and well deal with Xerox later. I need to know what to do... help

[hatethewrongroad]

How are you doing?   On the one hand it was only 10 days ago...on the other hand  we have come soooooooo farrr!  

[quitinoxys]

Congrats on 10 days and keep going I love to hear success stories such as yours and yes ALWAYS keep your guard up. God Bless---Rick

[hatethewrongroad]

thanks for the reminder about even after a year and a half, I totally need to remember that. I can see myself thinking it won't be the same this time!    WRONG THINKING. thanks for sharing that with me.

[hatethewrongroad]

THANK YOU  for all your encouragment..I take soak it in still.   paleflower : you are such a tender soul....thank you for being with me in the beginning, just 10 short days ago,  my guard is always up....this time I KNOW JUST ONE PILL  WILL HURT EVERYTHING....this time I'm not looking back only looking forward to how best I can handle my life now in health.  

[paleflower]

I can't stop crying after reading this, but tears of joy. I remember the first time you posted, I tried to comfort you as best as I could, and here you are today, Thank God, living the good life w/o the poisonous drugs no more!!! I am so happy for you! Today is day 14 for me and I feel great! Congrats!! God bless you!!!

[jlannspr]

Congrats. I remember last week we were right by each other. I have 9 days today. I can relate to the "living again" statement. Everything is brand new again. Almost 4 years, every single day, worrying about pills..leaving my job, my house, my family for the next fix is OVER. I realize everyday more and more stuff that I lost over the addiction. I come here and read posts of people just starting to detox to remind myself of the pain and aggravation. Today, I'm a little sick from a cold and worn down, but in no way would I result to looking for my "energy" pills. I did find that a 5 hour energy drink isn't so bad every now and then. Best of Luck.

[stacey1979]

CONGRATS!
Its amazing how much better you feel!

Yes never let your guard down! I did that and like someone here said I never took that to heart, after a year and a half I relapsed for 5 months I let my guard down. I could do that not gonna hurt a thing!

Hurt Nothing but my FAMILY ONCE AGAIN! and myself!! and thats the most awfulest feeling in this world to see the ones you love and that love you so dear hurt!

GOOD LUCK

[jlannaa]

wow your comment about counting the pills wow really hit home , i hated doing that always worrying about them, feels good to be free of that for today! thats the last thing i wanna do is be overconfident , congrats on 10 days !! looks like your heading to right road :)

[dominosarah]

One of my friends here told me after every conversation to keep my guard up. I never realized just how important those 2 words were!!

[hatethewrongroad]

I actually have taken that phrase "keep your guard up" into my daily life, thank you for that, it helps keep the focus and you don't get overconfident! :)

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 10 days!!  You are doing really well.  Hold your clean time sacred and always remember to keep your guard up~~sara