DAY ONE. having doubts!

[cheesystick]

I feel like if i cant even get through day one, how can i get through days 3-4? i havent taken anything since last night. was using about 80-100mgs a day. i took a bath earlier this morning and i feel like that helped but i am getting ready to go into work overnight. i know that if i can make it through tonight, i will have 2 days to continue recovering... i just dont know if i can hang in there :/ my dealer just called me and has a killer deal on some 30 perks. ughhhh im so tempted... but i am going to be 21 in october and i would love to spend my birthday sober. more than anything, that would be my present to myself. sorry for all the rambling but im feeling pretty down on myself, and i dont think im strong enough to pull through with this.

[cheesystick]

and to clarify, i have to next two days off.. and my goal is to be clean by my birthday. starting today. i want to feel wonderful in a month. just not sure that its possible...

[IBKleen]

Well hun, I guess you have some choices to make. You can either sit here and talk about how it is hard or you can do it.

I gotta be honest though, if it were easy then we would be doing it all the time, right? So it is hard for a reason. Hopefully it is hard to show you that you don't have to live like this.

Again, your choice. If you want to get clean we can help you through it.

[FassFeat]

Take another bath, or call in sick. This is the most important thing you will ever do. Actually the next 24-48 hrs will be the hardest. I am on day 8 and doing fine (I was doing 3 times the amount you were). You can achieve this goal you have set. you just have to get thru the next 12-24 hrs. You can do this. Get some immodium, 800mg Motrin, and possibly some cold medicine. It will help you, plus drink alot of water and or gatorade and eat a bananna. Look at the health pages at the top rght of home page. Good luck we will get you thru this. Stay with us. You will get alot of feedback now that you started a thead. Andrew

[stilltrying1965]

You can do this.Im over 180 days clean from heroin addiction 13yrs. So you work for it and you can and will beat the deamon addiction. The more clean time you get behind you. The easier it will get. Best of luck to ya ,,,,James

[aloneandempty185]

Good for you for reaching out to this forum for support.  We have all been through that first day and I am sure you will find a lot of people here who didn't believe that they could do it.  I am one of them.  When I got my first 24 hours under my belt this time, I cried because I didn't believe it was possible.  You are doing a great thing for yourself.  Take tonight one minute at a time.  Stay focused on work or anything that you can.  Remember to stay busy and have a plan for when you get home.  I am here if you need support. Hang in there.

[Back2Me]

I am trying to taper and just made it 20.5 hours without anything and am so at my limit. I took something though because i am tapering but i wish you luck. CT Stinks but you can do it. I did it many times. It's pretty much the worse. But you CAN do it. Especially with time off that's perfect. Just expect bad depression and stuff for like the first 10 days or so. So back to work on day 3-4 might not be a picinic.

[chronicmistake]

I am in the same boat.  I just keep telling myself that  I have the flu.  You can do this!  be a fighter!!!

[chronicmistake]

one more thing.  Change your phone number and erase your dealers number if you really want this. :)

[vicki595]

Hey~  Don't get yourself so psyched out about this!!   You can do this...just get through work tonight and baby yourself on your days off...get everything you need...keep taking hot baths and drink as much as you can. Don't cave in on this now...

[cheesystick]

thank you. ughh i am just a couch potatoe today. all i want to do is take a pill so i can have my energy back! and the pain and sweats will go away! i am quite alone in this... but you guys make me feel welcome and i feel the support. i have it in my mind that i can do this, and i can conquor this.. i will hope to feel better by friday... seems so far away but like you said i will take it one minute at a time. thanks guys, and i will continue to post.