DESPERATE FOR HELP

[pregnantandaddicted]

I  know what people are going to say (You are sorry as hell or you are a horrible person or even worse) I have been addicted to Oxycontin for 8 to 10 years, But now I am 8 months pregnant and still addicted, as you all know opiates are the hardest thing to get off of at least I think). But I am ready to quit, I have tried several times but it has'nt worked I know that there are going to be withdrawls for me and the baby but I desperatly need some advice on what I can do to make it a little easier on both of us. ANY advice would really help.                                                                                 THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      DESPERATE 4 HELP

[mommylove1427]

I just read your story and it pains me .  I'm in recovery myself and the whole happiness is REAL hard to find just like you explained you THINK you should be happy due to your 2 beautiful children , wonderful husband but to be quite honest your emotions with go up and down . I've been clean for 7 years from heroin and other drugs and I'm hardly happy but sometimes I find myself laughing and being happy . I also have 2 beautiful children and 1 one the way with a wonderful husband and it's a HUGE struggle I will NEVER be that person I once was before I ever picked up any drug , it's a HORRIBLE feeling and I always think what life would be if I could go back to who I once was  but at the same time i would NOT be the person who i am today due to my past drug addictions . I'm more passionate about life a stronger women than I ever thought I would have become and becoming . It's a struggle ever day that goes by but here I am on earth for reason and BELIEVE me when I say I should NOT BE here today but here I am as the mother and wife I'm suppose to be right now at this time and moment and would not change it for a thing and as I can see from your story you now what I'm saying. And HOPE NOTHING will change that but that is ALL up to me . You should be very PROUD of yourself to have the clean time you do that takes a lot of courage , patients , and strong will so please pat yourself on the back . As for your pain management there is pain clinics called methadone and believe me it's NOT just for addicts there is A LOT of people that are doctors , lawyers , elderly that use this pain clinic for situations that you are in and it HELPS big for all types of people . I recommend NOT to be on such a high dose if you ever thought of doing anything like this . It also could help you with your depression , anxiety and most of all your pain : ) GOOD LUCK with your legal case  .. But I agree your DR. should be held reasonable for her actions she went the totally wrong direction when you asked for help .So again good luck .!!! Stay strong , Healthy and STAY Clean and let's just pray together that some day that this will all go away and WE ALL can be HAPPY with ourselves and with others !!!! Good Luck with ALL  ; )

[stocktonjenniferandrea22361975]

My story is almost unbelieveable its so messed up. Ive had back problems & chronic back pain since I was 10 years old. I found out very young I had a pretty bad type of scoliosis but not bad enuf for me to have to have metal rods or metal leg braces. My teen years were very painful for me during growing. I went to a chiropractor every two weeks alot of my teen years. I was of course too young for pain meds..in fact until my 30s I knew nothing about opiates at all. Fast forward to when I was 33. I owned & managed my own restaurant & one day fell in the kitchen & landed on my tailbone. The pain was excruciating. I went to the Dr & was told I had sciatica & given ibuprofen. Well, the pain just continued to get worse. Being a manager, I was on my feet a lot & I performed all the tasks in the restaurant everyone else did--i was very hands-on in my restaurant. After the fall I noticed my pain-keep in mind I had always had pain just never knew anything could be done about it--kept getting worse. I went to the Dr many times over about a 3 month period, they did xrays, MRIs, some other test I can't remember the name of...& found I had 8 bulging discs in my back as well as a fractured tailbone & degenerative disc disease. They prescribed me Norco for the first time. Surprisingly taking one made me extremely nauseated & vomiting was awful--so i stopped taking them. But I started back up hoping I could get thru the vomiting. As it turned out, I ended up loving Norco. To the point that within months I was already taking more than prescribed (which was only 2/day). The Dr increased my scrip to 3/day but working at a busy restaurant & bar 6 days per week I definitely saw the increase in my energy levels--it was like I was Superwoman! Then I hired a 22 y/o server who I quickly took under my wing--she was a sweetheart & I just loved her. As it turned out she was severely addicted to Norco. So when I ran out early, she introduced me to ppl I could buy them from. I had never heard of this but was very excited. I quickly became addicted & noticed if I went 1/2 a day without any, I would get really sick. I got my Dr to increase me to 5 pills/day PLUS I was buying them on the side. After about 9 months of this-i had gotten up to about 20-25 pills/day & I wasn't feeling good anymore! In fact, I was depressed & very moody...so I went to my Dr asking (crying actually) begging for help to get off these pills. Well you wont believe what she did. She prescribed me oxycontin (40 mg/day) & 2 norco/day to help me get off. I knew nothing about oxycontin so I took them as prescribed, quit the norco within a month, & noticed my pain was worse than ever! So within a 45-day period she took me up to 240mg/day of oxycontin. I felt better than I ever had in my life! I could do ANYTHING! But there was a price to pay--i became so addicted that when I woke up each morning if I didn't take my 2 40mg pills immediately upon waking I felt very sick. 3 months into this I again became depressed & just generally felt like **** all the time. So I called her & told her I didn't want to live like this anymore & asked her to help me get off completely. Her response was that "this is not my area of expertise" & she referred me to pain management. I decided to help myself, so I gave my pills to my husband & asked him to start giving me only 5/day at first, then 4 and so on...I wanted to wean off on my own. One day when I was down to 2 pills/day, a brand new bottle of pills was left on the counter & my immediate excitement & reaction to having access to this entire bottle was to quickly grab them & take about 20 40mg pills. Why I didn't save some of them I cannot tell u, but I took all 20 pills at once, biting about 1/2 of them to release the meds faster...& within 6 hours I was so out of it I passed out & had to be rushed to the hospital. I was unconscious for 2 days & my Mom (who was with me) was told I may not make it. After I woke up, my husband told me if I didn't go to rehab he would divorce me. So of course I went to rehab for 10 days (all the ins. would cover) & when I got out I was barely even starting the withdrawals, as WDs take up to 7-10 days just to fully start with oxycontin. I came home & was sick as a dog. But I was very excited to be off & rehab had really helped me to see my addiction & I was all into the things I was taught. After about a month I became extremely depressed--i had never known depression like this & it was unbearable. 4 months later I got into a horrible car wreck & was life-flighted to a nearby hospital & in critical condition. I broke my neck so badly I had to wear a neck brace for 3 months & was only given Norco 5/325s for the pain. It was at this point I realized my Dr had completely screwed me over. She put in my medical records about my addiction problem, despite the help I had several times asked her for, & I was treated as a drug-seeker & stopped receiving meds after 2 months. My Dr discharged me from her practice & put in my file a note that I was not to be given any sort of addictive medications which completely pissed me off & ruined my chance of ever again receiving pain relief. Being on oxycontin ruined my life--i am not the same person I was, I have lost my zest for life & have never gotten to that point I learned in rehab that all ppl get to where they are happy to be drug-free. Its now been 1 1/2 years since my horrible wreck & I continue to live with chronic back pain as well as knee pain from a knee injury. I am so angry at my Dr for not helping me when I begged for help then screwing me by putting all she did in my medical file. I have a new Dr who's great but she's made it clear I get NOTHING for my pain, anxiety (I also have generalized anxiety disorder) or sleep problems. I am looking for an attorney to help me sue my former Dr for malpractice (think about how quickly she increased my oxy scrip to the Max per day!, then refused to help me get off of them). Bottom line is this--i suffer from on-going, severe depression & chronic pain not managed my any meds, & I just want my life back! My quality of life is GONE...I wish I could do things over & never have taken oxy in the first place...once u have, no other pain meds really work. I've taken the occasional Percocet or Norco from friends or family & they just don't compare to oxycontin. What can I do to get out of this horrible rut im in? I take Wellbutrin & Lexapro which used to work beautifully for me but now do not. Im begging for just one person to read this & have some helpful advice...I will try anything! I have 3 beautiful children & a wonderful husband, I should be happy, enjoying life right NOW--PAIN FREE too! Can anyone help or at least relate to my story?

[melanie2400]

What happened to this baby???

[princess2000]

CPS worker here, and you will have big trouble on your hands.  There is no more time to try and quit.  I wish you the best and hope your baby arrives in this world without too much pain and suffering.  I have seen it all and its not a pretty site!  God Bless you!!!!  There are so many babies born addicted, and its the sadest thing in the world to witness.  Please be honest and up front with your dr and get to the ER!!!!!!!  My prayers are with you both.

Princess2000

[mom2rachie]

No one is going to admit or detox a pregnant woman in the ER or anywhere else and it's too late for that anyway.
It's ridiculous and irresponsible to suggest to her to do ANYTHING BUT get honest with ALLher doctors from now moving forward.  
She needs to stay on the meds until after the baby is born.  WIthdrawls will put her body, and subsequently her baby's body, into shock and possibly preterm labor and nothing that can ease the w/d like valium and xanax are safe even in the smallest amounts during pregnancy. There are no adequate studies showing narcotic that pain killers can cause any birth defects other than addiction at birth which is quite a cross to bear coming into this world.
I was took narcotic pain meds (percocet) throughout my entire pregnancy. Of course they were prescribed by my peri-natal ob/gyn specialist so they KNEW BUT she DOES need to get honest and quick because they WILL be able to tell if the baby is addicted and if it goes through w/d.  They will get CPS involved and regardless of that, it's not a pretty scene when a newborn suffers from opiate w/d.  But if they know they can prevent any pain and discomfort for the baby.  
What she needs to concentrate on is getting a plan to GET and STAY clean after she gives birth or this child doesn't stand a chance in the world with an addict for a mom.
By the way, my daughter was not addicted when she was born and is very healthy but I suspect my dosings and DOC was different.
Either way, and this is to the men, but for the GRACE OF GOD GO I.
      

[mtgoat911]

we lost her................
a moment of silence for the addict who still suffers

[elwoodsf]

You are a valuable human being as is your unborn child. There is a lot of good advice here, not to be taken for granted. Others care!!!

[mtgoat911]

yeah, i know several pain clinics that prescribe pregnant women oxyies
anywho
how are you doing today?
xo

[keikimahina]

As many have stated,you need to tell your DR. This IS still about you-its just that you dont come first anymore. The problem with you NOT saying anything is the fact that Child Protective Services could possibly get involved-and you certainly dont want that. Keep in mind that you are not alone-you arent a bad person-or weak-or all of those other things that have been going through your mind. You have a disease and you need treatment.....thats all.

Some have posted how they cant believe a DR would prescribe a pregnant woman OxyContin......well, they do. I live in VA-and my former Pain Mngmnt.Dr. was prescribing another patient (who was PREGNANT and my dear friend)  OxyConti 80mg three times a day, Oxy IR 5mg every 4hrs PRN/as needed, AND Methadone 10mg two tablets three times a day!!!!!!  Her OB was aware that she was on all of these meds and had a plan for her baby immediately after birth. Without making this into a super long and drawn out story.......baby was in NICU for 4weeks(I believe)-may have been a bit longer,and sent home with prescription for liquid morphine and was safely detoxed. Mom was still addicted because of her prescribing DR and CPS took ALL THREE of her children anyway...............now mind you, Mom ended up taking Dr. to court,went through rehab, etc..etc...and she finally got kids back. This happened 6 or 7 years ago.
In the end:
-DR passed away about 3 years ago from Hodgekins lymphoma....but not before pleading guilty to 4 charges(at one point he had 313 felony charges filed against him)and surrendering his medical license
-Mom passed away just a few weeks ago
-baby is no longer a baby-but survived and had no birth defects

check out this link:http://www.roanoke.com/roatimes/news/story157750.html

[scaredmom330]

first of all know no one here is judging you. As the other post has said, you need to let your doctor know what is going on...it is too late now to go c/t but maybe with the help of your doctor you can start to taper off them...I can't imagen a dr giving oxcy while pregnant but who knows, my son's girlfriend took vicodin then whole time she was preg with my grandson and they were prescribe by her dr...take care and please keep up informed. we are all here for you...

[natalile]

Iwas addicted 2 meth & vallium when i was pregnant but i told um at the get go, U only have 4 weeks so your baby will do a w/d but they have meds 2 help him/her. Don't beat yurself up over this i no how scary it can be i have been there twice. Like its been said go 2 yur docs tell him they need 2 no so they no whats gona have 2 be done when the baby is born, i wish u al the best. But just coz its 2 late 4 the baby at the mo it don't mean it's 2 late 4 u, So start gettin clean even droppin a little but gain see your doc, Get clean so your baby will have the best start possible a clean mummy xxxx your in my thoughts, I'v been there so many times well 2

[broknbck]

oh i cannot imagine what you are going through. you do know that you cannot quit cold turkey while you are pregnant. try to keep your dosage down as low as possible without going into withdrawl.
there is probably no way of getting around not telling the doctor. things can get a little sticky with authorities and child neglect and all. hopefully that will not be a problem. maybe the doctor can reassure you of some things and it will take some of the stress off so you can concentrate on a way to get off of them.

i am sure that this is the last thing you ever wanted to do. be pregnant and taking pain killers together. this addiction is a real ***** to get from but you can do it. many of us have gotten through it and yes it is harder than hell. you will have to carefully plan for it and it is not going to be a weekend deal. you can post on here and we will all help you and give you advice.

[morganave]

I can not agree more with the others who have taken the time to write.  Pack a bag, and  get to the ER.  Better you tell them then they findout in the delivery room. I watched a baby withdraw 24 yrs ago from herion.  My baby was 2  months early,so while I was with her in the NICU,I would break the rules about touching other babies, and hold  his nuk in his mouth so he would stop screaming and  get some rest.  He was kept in a dark room, there were not enough nurses to rock him.  I would wash up, gown up and stand or sit for hours holding it for him. His mom and dad never came to see what they had done.  You baby's dr also needs to knw because no your child is more pron to be and addict in his  or her life time.  CPS will take your baby. What kind of DR is giving you oxys while you are pregnant, a blind one?  If you have any love for that baby  you will get your *** in the car now, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.  Think of someone other than you and your addiction.  I lost my twins at 5.5 months gestation because their sperm donor was a pot head, did coke, and was abusive.  There is no grief like burying a child.  Caskets come in that little size you know, if you can not do this for your baby, you better give it up NOW.  Yes we are hard on you, but that baby did not  bring this on you did. IF you want to distroy your life, that is your choice, you are old enough to make that choice. The baby did not make this choice, why don't you just send the  baby of to fight a war right  away.  Yes, I have a pill issue,but I do not force my kids to take my pills through your uterus.  Okay, enough beating you up, you know what you need to do,  GOD BLESS YOU BOTH!

[blackendbeauty]

As you say, you know what the responses will be and you know what has to be done.  I agree with mangee, it is not about you anymore and you will have to get used to that.  Of course, Im not suggesting you put yourself or more importantly your baby into withdrawal mode but you have to set a plan in place.  Already it looks like your baby will be born addicted.  That should be enough of an incentive to make a change. Talk to your doctor, make a plan and make sure you stick to it.  Make a promise that this time will be different than the past.  As addicts, we tend to feel tons of guilt about what we have done to others when using.  You cant let that guilt run your life or it will actually be harder to get better.  You just have to learn from it move forward.  You can eventually have a wonderful life with your baby

[kim715]

You absolutely have to be honest with your doctor for all the reasons listed above.And Avisg is right,you're too far along to just go cold turkey,without risking complications.Please take the advice given to you and tell your doctor.No one here is going to judge you hon.We all have a relationship with addiction on a first hand basis.We understand.Please hon,for the safety of your baby,tell your doctor.You and your baby are in my prayers.Please keep us posted....Peace..Kim

[troubleinohio]

i agree w/ Avis...its too late now to try and stop. Baby is addicted and will need to detox in the hospital after birth where it can be carefully monitored. good luck to you and keep us posted.

[avisg]

4 weeks before you have the baby is not the time to quit you can send your self into labor .How much have are you taking .Does your doctor know ?

[Mangee]

This is no longer just about you. You have a life inside of you that needs to be protected. It's all about the baby and what you have to do to protect it. Regardless of how you feel and the idea that you can't make it without the oxy is something you have to deal with NOW. You have to ask yourself what is more important the baby or the drug. See your doctor and be honest. You need proffesional help at this point for both your sakes. An important person is about to enter your life and you have to do what is best for him/her. Dig deep within yourself and find that inner strength that we all have and tap into it for both if you.

[mtgoat911]

you are not scum, ok
you have a disease, and the people who demoralize you would do the same to the mothers who suffer from other mental illness's such as schizophernia
i suggest that you come clean with your obgn, all you can do is the next right thing
you cannot go back and change the past 8 months, but you can make it possible for your baby to have a drug free mom
its time to get honest, you have taken the first step by being honest here, as you see no one has made an attmempt to judge you
now....i do not promise you that your delivery crew will have the same attitude, some people, even medical prfessionals do not see addiction as a disease
do not be afraid of them, your baby is much more important than peoples opinions
if you are honest with the hospital, they can give your newborn medication, and for now, that will be enough
and if problems come up later on, as long as you are clean, you will be able to address any needs that come up
let us know what you decide, we have tons of addicted mothers come here and ask for help, but few come back to check their thread
let us know how you are doing...ok
xo

[bluespence]

Are these prescribed from a DR or are you getting them illegally? Does you OBGYN Dr know you have been on these pills? You need to tell someone, whether it be you DR or going to rehab where there are medical professionals so you can detox safely and your baby can too. Also, you need to get help now because if you deliver and try to keep it a secret and they test you and the baby and find the baby has Oxy in it's system, CPS could get involved. I don't mean to scare you but it will look better if you come clean now and do what you need to to get off the pills.

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Lot of pro nurses on here and quite a few mothers also ....... its too late to do many things. Get with your medical team (Doc, OB/GYN/ Whtever...) and talk to them truthfully. If you seek help before the fact you will not be subject to the many problems that arise when issues are first discovered in the delivery room. They really appreciate truth and it makes their efforts more easy to perform and be prepared for.....delivery is the last place that you want surprises!!.............get real, get honest, get help, and it will work out for you and the new life..........Best of luck to you and the child - - it will work out fine...but do it now

[monstermommy]

I was put on methedone when I was pregnant,the doctor knowing I was pregnant.It was a small dose then and the baby was fine,I agree go to hospital

[tim772]

Being pregnant you need to go straight to a hospital and check yourself in. No if ands or buts.  GO NOW