Dad of 1 year old trying to get off roxis

[KevsDaddy]

I started witrh perc 10-325 three years ago when I tore my quad. For last year I have been taking 180-240 roxi's a month and I guess 6-7 a day with downtime of 2-3 hell days in between. I want to stop completely. I am not strong enough to go CT . I have these 30mg OP oxycontin put out by Purdue Pharm which are the new antiabuse oc's . SHould I take these and will it help me to get off fully? Or should I just do it cold turkey(keeping in mind that I am out of work and take care of my one year old while my wife works ft m-f 9-5 so I need some bit of my sanity). Thanks to all ,
Very scared, confused,
KevsDaddy

[atthebeach]

hey daddy from ny how are you doing? you haven't posted in over a day!!! i hope and pray you are ok. you made a few references to prayer,blessings and a Higher power. go to some church services and continue to pray. there  is definitely a spiritual component
involved. you need to break the chains of bondage to your addiction.
god bless,
debbie

[mommy2j]

I too have just started tapering back on my dose. Today is my second day and I have cut my dose back from 60mg to 37.5 for the last two days. Tomorrow I will go for 30 mg and do that for 2 days and then cut 7.5mg every two days until I am down to the end. You can read my other post "need help getting off oxycodone" to see my story. I know that I do not take that much but my husband takes them too and he takes about 5 or 6 a day and he needs them more for pain then me. I know that I have to be the strong one to quit first so I can get him off for good too. We have to do this for ourselves and our beautiful 6 year old boy who I look in the eyes everyday and know that he deserves so much more. We can do this together. Please feel free to post me anytime you want to talk.

It is going to be hard for me to quit and then have to deal pills out to my hubby while I am clean to get him off also. His personality is of a very addictive nature and this is it for us. I will make it through to the other side. i just hope that I can get him to meet me there. This situation has put us in the whole. We got to the point that we would run out two weeks before his script was due to be filled again and we run around like crazy buying pills for $12 or $13 each. Meanwhile I can't even afford to do the things that are necessary like pay bills.

You can do this. This site has been a blessing for me. There are a great group of people here who have all been there. Keep us posted on how you are doing and whatever you do, don't try and find those pills that your wife has put up, better yet tell her to take the bottle with her to work. That way you have no choice.

Peace,
Angel

[dominosarah]

Right now i would focus on getting clean and your recovery.  So you cant run as fast as you used to.....Its better to slow down and enjoy what you can do~~~~~~sara

[KevsDaddy]

Thanks alot Joy, I hope you did okay!! I went to a meeting this morning, a very good one and well needed. I GAVE my wife the 10-325 percs and I have only took four today( the prescribed amount) Next week I will go to three and hopefully down from there. I cant say I feel like I did when I was abusing but at least hell aches arent there. I have a C-6C-7 herniation and my wife is contantly putting elbows in my right side upper shoulder to relieve the k in my neck(right side from being dropped on my head during a match in '04) alot of hot wet towels  and Tiger Balm, back to basics and my knees just feel awful and today I realized that I probably will never run again at least as fast I used to when I played football and it seems minute but when you actually focu taht in ur head it s mmessed up.

[joyagain]

I am barely hangin there today.  A lot of stress that I would just usually take pills to cover up.  I am counting down the hours to my meeting.  I know I will find comfort there.  Like everyone says on here, you should go everyday to the meetings if you can, or at least add two more days during the week.  I am finding that I am still a slave to the pills.  Even giving them to my husband to dole them out didn't work.  I found them.  It is a month clean, and I am having a bad time the last two days with acheness just like when I went through w/d ct.  I think it is stress and triggers are pretty heavy right now with that.  Yes, go to a meeting tonight.....take care a good luck to you.....Joy

[tramsbite]

Daddy, in the worst moments you may have to take it second by second but always remember your family and your reasons for getting clean.

Always remember you are stronger than the pill. I will be sending tons of prayers for you and your family.

[dominosarah]

I am glad you finally decided to join this forum.  You dont have to be a prisoner to these pills anymore. I am glad your wife knows about your addiction and is willing to help you get better.  I would really recommend you looking into some sort of recovery care tho.  You will learn the tools we need to live healthy lives not to mention meeting some really great people.  Getting and staying clean is a process and a slow one so be patient.  You can do this and deserve to be clean and happy~~~~sara

[KevsDaddy]

Thanks James and yes I do think I can do it. I've worked since I grad. HS  and I was a 5 day a week in shape gym guy  for the same time period that on Fridays I would go to the bar after the gym, get hammered and then disappear to the projects and smoke crack from ages 21-29 almost every paycheck from late night Friday til Sat morn-early afternoon sometimes only to hate myself for the rest of the weekend and sometimes stay in bed and miss work MOnday until I feel better. And wrestled in between, this is tough... and then in 08 tore my quad and after I got married left alcohol nd the coke for the most part and completely when she gave birth. But then the opiate part of my life started and I feel U stilltrying1965. This time since Iwas laid off in AUgust there have been at least 10 times that I brokedown while playing with my son after I popped a roxi or two and knowing it's not the way and he starts laughing because he thinks I am and it's a ************ because you can't hit pause to get ur **** together.
Anyway here today it's now one day at a time. There are so many resources online and this board in itself is the single most inspiring part of my change. I have been lowriding on here for two months reading others' stories and yesterdaqy Idecided to join and look already how many of you ahve helped me. I am so grateful and it is so sent from a Higher Power because I prayed that He help me despite our time constraints with my wife working m-f and me being a fulltime Daddy now , meetinsg aren't easy to get to so this is a blessing and I will keep saying that and keep coming back here and go to meetings on the weekends.
And I AM giving my wife the bottle this time jsu tas I returned the oxycontins last night this will be another step to getting better.
Thanks guys and gals again and thank you for helping me and I want to be able to help others too

[stilltrying1965]

I want to tell you somthing i am a heroin addict i lost 13 yrs of my childrens lifes stoned on heroin plz dont miss your boy growing up not for drugs. You say you cant go cold turky i did. It was not nice but doable. When you start to come of your doc look in your boy,s eye and that will be enough to see you through this to the end.Your boy will help you Cherish the time you can have with him drug free.The very best of luck to you for your boy you can do it,,,,,,James

[DayToTry]

So does that mean you're ready Daddy?

[KevsDaddy]

WOw!! Thanks again!! YEah we are a tough breed but unfortunately Ihave lost way too many brethren from this horrible addiction. Ok I returned the oxy op's and my Dr did call the pharm to double check a and then sent me a text telling what a great guy I am and I m alright in his book and that made me feel really good. I am going to give it a go again. If you guys say that 2-3 days is the most part of the hell I think Ican I think Ican. I 've had a long day just looking forward to spending time with my wife and son all weekend inside watching movies, eating, and enjoying eachothers company annnd my son walked for thefirst time tonighT!! So I have alot to be thankful for and definetely want to be around for my blessings. Thank you again it's amazing to know taht I am not alone andwhat a lil encouragement can do. Have a good nighty guysn gals and be safe and hang in!

[tramsbite]

I whole heartdly agree with daytotry! Wrestlers are the toughest people around. You can do this, you know you can!

[DayToTry]

You don't really need to ween.  You said you're not strong enough to cold turkey but you said you run out every month and go thru 2 or 3 days of hell.  Kev ... those 2 or 3 days .. that's cold turkey so you do it all the time.  Obviously you ARE strong enough.  Just do it one more time but don't go back on the pills this time.

Come on, you can not be telling me that someone that WRESTLED doesn't have it in him to do this.  I know wrestlers.  They are the toughest guys I know.  Football ... wimpy.  Basketball ... even wimpier!  Wrestling is where its at!

PS ... I love wrestling.

[tramsbite]

Better yet let your wife get the schedule and the rx for you. Or have her count the pills once you get home.

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome,

Don't be concerned about getting your money back, what you lost, etc. Focus on getting clean. What is done is done.

When you trade yours in and get the new script, call your doctor and ask for a tapering schedule. give the schedule and the meds to your wife to hold, hide and dose to you.

It is a violation of our guidelines to provide you with a schedule so your doctor is your best bet.

Keep talking here and asking questions. Tapering is tricky business and hard to do so you may have some issues you want to discuss. Besides, the support is awesome. Hang in there!

[KevsDaddy]

Thanks  trams,sweat ,n scared.. guys or gals for responding again! This place is amazing to have help like this at my fingertips. Asi t stands my wife knows exactly what I am going thru  and for the last 7 months I've been telling her that the next script I'm gonna give them to her, the next, the next, and it hasnt happened. MY Dr is sending me a script for the 10-325's BUT he is requesting that I RETURN the Oxycontin 30 mg OP's and to let him know when I do and he called the pharmacy. I told him I would first thing in the morning and although I've only took two( told him that and will prob take at least one more) of those and told him that I almost want to wait for the percs to arrive(the script in the mail) before returning the others.
I paid $300 for those and that devil is telling me to sell them to at least make back some $ ugggggggggghhhh but I think the weaning megthod may be best for me. and I WILL give the perc 10-325 to wife soo if I was taking 60-120 mg per day of the oxycodone(roxis) can you guys start me on a weaning cycle?
Thanks again!

[tramsbite]

You first have to make a desicion, do I want to quit? I know you don't see it now but the oxy is not helping you do anything you could not do on your own. It is actually stoping you from being the father and husband you want to be.

Here is the place to rant and rave with no judgement, just understanding. If your doctor is also a friend then confide I'm him and let him help you. No shame in seeking help ever, it means you are stronger than you think.

So what if the houseis a mess? It can always be cleaned up. If your a mess and don't clean up will you always be here to clean the house? To look after your family as only you can? To raise your son and see your grandkids? To grow old with your wife? Do you see what I'm getting at?

I am glad you took the first step and admitted you have a problem. Don't throw away anymore precious time than you already have.

Frankly, your doing well thus far. So please either talk to your doctor or your wife or anyone close to you. Someone on this board always says be honest with your spouse, they will be your saftey net. Another great one is the secrects we keep hidden will eventually allow us to fall back easily or something along that line. Please keep reading and posting here. The support you will find will help you in the darkest times of getting clean. Peace and hope for you.

[sweatinit]

Hey,

I knwo you're in a tough spot; I also tore my hamstring in April and it still bothers me, but I try to manage it with Motrin 800mg. You'r brain is going to scream for the pills for a while, but honestly after a few weeks, the pain levels out and its manageble with the motrin. In fact, I think it bothers me less with Motrin!

Do you have the strength to taper so that the w/d isnt so bad? Can your wife help you out and dole them out to you? Others will be on later that will give you good advice.

Anyway, a meeting woulf be great! For me, a lot of this is mind over matter. Soo get to a meeting. The support u will get there will help immensely! Keep posting and cancel those refills. :-)

Take care.

[scaredoutofmymind333]

If your going through 3 days of hell every month, then if you hang on to the 4th or 5th day, things should start getting better. Withdrawals get worse each time you go through them so you might want to keep that in mind when you decide when to quit. I couldn't taper and had to cold turkey, I don't know about the oxy 30 ops....so I cant give you any advice there, but when you do decide to quit, keep coming here...these people are lifesavers and you will get great advice here!

[KevsDaddy]

ANd on teh flipside I have already been dropped by one doctor who was writing theroxis for me 100 a month and the pharm called the otehr dr who was writing me 120 of them so I am down to my one PCP who doesnt know about those otehr guys and he is someone I considera friend too. I wrestled for 12 years and met him thru thewrestling business and made him my Dr and have been to his sons bday party  and he liek I said is a friend and he was the one who subscribed me the OXy 30 OP's(prev he gave me the 10-325 percs and yesterday I called complaining about the them because of teh noneffectiveness and he said he would send the 10-325's to me

[KevsDaddy]

Thanks for responding tramsbite. Yes I do go thru the hell for 2-3 days but I feel soooo mixed during that time. I geuss because your body is going thru so much tehre are feelings that I can do this! But then my mind always says to me "do this and you'll have another script" and that normally wins out. I legitimately have pain but definetely not as much as I ve abused and althoug these new 30mg oxycontin op purdues are antiabuse because it doesnt really make you high should I just go CT on these? I'm just so confused and I am in a bad place right now. Reading some other forums were sooo bad and they badmouth the new OP Oxycontin so much I guess because like me they are hardcore junkies and the best recommendations there sadly are to do heroin because they say taht in NY its pure and its thesame as oxycontin which I find hard to believe. I thinkIm going to go tyo a meeting when my wife gets home from work and my son is driving me crazy today, house is a mess, I feel useless, Im unemployed but anyways thats notwhat I m here for and I appreciate any advice you can give.
Thanks

[tramsbite]

Hi kevsdaddy.

My only question to you is, don't you already do it for 2-3 days a month already? By day four your sanity will return a bit.