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Avatar universal

Day 1 and SCARED

I posted here a couple weeks ago, planning to go c/t and just BE DONE with hydro, but I slipped and bought more... a week or so ago, I realized what place I am in, ready to just spiral downward to bottom, and I started a taper, using a scrip for oxycodone from my neurologist and some hydros I picked up. I (stupidly) started with the hydros, and finally tapered down over a week using the oxys down to 2 in a day... from 10 10/325 hydros daily for about a month.
I've been here before. I c/t'ed off over 100mg of hydro daily for almost a year, about a year ago, and I know what's coming. Today was God awful! I made it to work (late) for a few hours, then came home and slept all sweaty and achey. Last time I made meetings daily and told EVERYONE, but this time that's just not an option. I do have some good medical support, and my girlfriend knows - though she's not that supportive. For sleep I have Lunesta, for the heart racing I have Klonopin, and I have rx strength naproxen for the aches. I'm feeling medically prepared, but I'm really freaked out about the days to come. I know day 2 is the hardest, and that my energy level will be hellisly low for a few weeks... I just had to get all this out. Please, someone, talk to me.
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Avatar universal
scared is normal..But be proud of yourself for trying and being here...klonipin should help you go through it..We are all here for you, give yourself some credit for trying, some don't even care about trying..you may fall but pick your self back up and try again...
God bless and i will pray for you
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Avatar universal
im there with you..day 1...and after wd's more then once..and also did the taper..i have NO willpower tho so tapering isnt gonna do it. I have some clonzipan that i CAN take if i need to but im going to try to not..as a matter of fact, i know this sounds totally nutz, but after already doing 4 days of wd's before, i know all the things i can expect..and oh its hell..but im actually wanting it..cause as soon as its over...so is this ****..there is LIGHT..its about a wk or more away but its there..and if we hang on just hang on..even when the diahreah has us wishing we could just glue our butts shut..pardon the graphic details..and the sweats have us throwing our clothes off..and then grabbing even warmer ones cause the chills have us the next instant..when we can't sleep because our legs just hurt, and our backs feel like we have a knife in there..and the very thought of food just hurts our faces...just remember..we are that much closer to being over it..and im going through this the SAME as you are..its not just you dear..and that sounds cruel too, but the thought that someone else is as miserable as i am, and has been as miserable and lived and are now a whole person once again..oh im jealous..we can do this..we CAN..even if we have to crawl on the floor to get to the bathroom..we are going to do it..and then once we have kicked this..there is NOTHING we can't overcome..i believe this is the absolute hardest thing in the world next to losing loved ones..and if we are strong enough to do this..just imagine...we might just be the next female presidents..that is what im doing it for..the 'what if'..what if in 2 wks after i gain strength back...i actually like seeing the sun again..my coffee tastes good..i don't wake up shaking..what if..i could actually go get that job application and fill it out and take it in, and NOT stop myself cause i know i won't have the pills the day of the interview..or i might run out the 1st day on the job..we can DO IT!...:D Yeha i know some are going, god that girl is in for a rude awakening, its not going to be easy..ohhhhh i know..im just trying like crazy to hold onto my desire to get done with it..cause i have to..its my 'support'..:D
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