Day 1 oxycontin withdrawal

[HarperOC]

Today is day one off oxycontin. I was snorting about 5 80's a day. I want to stop so badly. It is painful to type this right now but my body hurts so bad, my eyes are so watery, my legs wont stop twitching, i am sweating and so hot and then freezing cold the next second. My stomach hurts so bad I think I might throw up at any second. But I want to get through this so badly. I know this is just the drug trying to keep me using, I need to get through these WD's I want to have a real life and actually live my life not just watch it go by. Noone knows I am detoxing and I cant really tell anyone, I just want to go back to ym old self and be there for the people in my life and stop causing them so much pain. Is there anything I can do to help with the anxiety i feel like im about to have a panic attack. Also im just wondering about aftercare, what is the best form of aftercare people have done? Thanks for anyone that may take the time to read this and to everyone on here that makes this forum happen it is really inspiring to read your comments and stories, it gives me some hope through all this.

[HarperOC]

Ive been using. I go to bed each night wanting to be sober saying tomorrow i will wake up and NOT use and then i wake up in the morning and i just feel like sht and am depressed and just say whatever im getting high and do it. I am very depressed, i think using makes me happy....it doesn't. I felt better when I was trying to get sober, but yet im still using. Its frustrating i want to throw my head through a wall. i dont get this disease i dont get what the hell i am doing. I am screwing things up in my life, all i want to do is be alone and get high and have the world leave me alone. what is wrong with me???? A few yrs ago if i had seen myself now i wouldnt have believed it, my actions, thoughts, I honestly would not believe this was me. Its like now I dont even let myself fight it, i just get high and try not to think about it to avoid the guilt and shame and anger but of course that doesnt even work. Its miserable.  anyways, if anyone wants to respond, i appreciate it, but honestly, dont waste ur time on me, and i mean that not, saying that to ttry to make people feel bad. its the truth, maybe im not ready i dont no but im wasting ppls time. And i really am sorry about that to everyone.

[wantnormalagain]

Morning

  Wanted to check in to see how you are doing, hopeing everything is going well for you and you are progressing at a rate that makes you happy, stick to it, you can do it, we all have faith in you.

[tgtiffany]

Hey Harper, how are you doing today?!!!  POST MORE!!! lol....keep your head up girl :)

[wantnormalagain]

Hi
I borrowed a friends computer for a moment, I have faith in you, those bumps are just that bumps, not road blocks. I should have my computer back tomorrow and will check in with you, if need be do second by second, whatever works, Still thinking of you and hoping for the best. You CAN do this, you can just stay positive

[HarperOC]

Hi guys,
Thanks for checking in. I have been struggling a bit. I still want to be sober but there have been several "bumps in the road" I dont even want to get into it because its shameful and depressing and upsetting and just makes me feel worse. I am still trying to be sober though, today is a new day. I dont feel very good mentally or physically but i deserve that. I have taken into consideration what everyone has said about aftercare, it seems I su ck at doing this on my own, even tho its very hard for me to reach out to others and accept help but I am going to try seeing a psychologist. Ive never really been able to stick it out in the past, i leave when things get personal but i will try it with an open mind. Today is hard, i am just trying to get thru it, minute by minute, and not use.

[freshstart01]

How are you? How did it go? W/d???