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Day 1

THIS IS SO HARD!! Finally came clean to my husband and best friend yesterday which was the hardest thing I have done in my life. For me to admit I have a problem was big. I am a mother of four who got hook on perks when I was in the hospital with my fourth child. Because of my complications the doctors kept on prescribing them to me for the next four months. When I ran out of those I started having leg pain and went in thinking it was because of my complications but from what I know now it was withdrawal symptoms.  The doc prescribed me vics and that was it I was hooked. Its been a year and a half and up to 5-6 pills 10mg every four hrs.  I decided today was it. I want my life back . I am trying the taper method but to the extreme. I have only had 4 7.5mg all day.  I dont know if I should go that low but I think I am handling it well but its starting to get worse. Any advice?  
13 Responses
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2122255 tn?1374465180
Hang in the hope everyday gets a lil easier the first 5-7 days r tough u can do it mate Im praying for u Im a few days in front of u n here for u mate god bless keep strong big hugs n love from oz aj xoxoxoxo
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Avatar universal
Thanks for the support! I am so blessed to have came across this site. 5 am and still awake going out of my mind. Trying to stay positive.
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2122255 tn?1374465180
Hey chick congrats on wanting ya life back Im a couple of days a head of u the hot n colds r so annoying i know take as many baths n showers music has really helped especially in the first couple of days stay strong u got a whole new family here n we love helping each other we here for u huni god bless big hugs n love from oz aj
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Avatar universal
I will definitely keep you posted. Thanks for the quick response its nice to have someone to talk to who understands. talk to you later
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2161407 tn?1337538702
Of course you are scared.  It's the unknown and all we've known for a long time is our pills.  But you need to convince yourself you are stronger than those devils.  When I felt like you are describing, I took a very hot and long bath.  If you have epsom salts or bath salts, but it in.  It helps with the detox and all the symptoms you describe.  There were days I took 10 of them.  I used to joke I was the cleanest girl in town. Yet it offers relief and calms the soul.  I found lavendar added in was very calming.  At night I would light candles.  Soft music.  Dealing with 4 kids is so hard.  My heart goes out to you.  Any chance you have someone who can help you out with them?  Take them for a few hours?

The ocean getaway sounds dreamy to me.  I find my peace at the water.  So does Dixie.  Use that time for you. And if you can, stay in touch with us.  You're doing great.
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Avatar universal
I just read your memorial day post ....WOW!!! Its 3am and I feel like my skin is crawling!!!! I cant stay asleep, my heart is racing, and I am cold and hot at the same time. I had a family member go through this and didnt understand when he said " its the worst pain in your life". I  would rather have 2 babies in a row!! Very scared to face tomorrow. My husband got my best friend and I a hotel room by the ocean for 3 days, leaving in the morning. Trying to do this at home with 4 kids is very hard especially when they dont know whats really going on.  I am thinking about going cold turkey when I get there. Just scared.
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2161407 tn?1337538702
Congrats on your decision and your brave move to share it with those you love.  That will be huge in your journey.  Working with your doctor is another huge step.  My doc has held me strong through this and without her (especially cutting me off) I wouldn't be where I am. Partner in this forum and I'm surrounded by love and support.  You've found a good and safe place to be.  As far as your medical records, they are privileged and private.  Take a look at just this forum and see how many of us there are.  Drugs are not discriminating.  They take  hold on people in all walks of life from high-level executives to athletes to mommys to grandmas and grandpas to store cashiers.  Pills do not care who or what you are when they take over your life.  Your doctor knows this.  As is the case with many on here, you start taking them for legitimate reasons and then abuse takes over.  It's epidemic.  It's everywhere you look.

I wrote a post on Memorial Day about how I decided to quit, W/D week and now moving forward.  We "experts" all agree a plan is needed to be successful.  Maybe this might help with your plan:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/Day-17-Temptation-and-surviving-your-decision-to-be-clean/show/1743152#post_7994103

You've taken huge and positive steps. Let us help you achieve your clean life.
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Avatar universal
If I tell my doctor will it be in my medical records?
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Avatar universal
Thank you and I will be praying for you
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Avatar universal
Thank you! did you try the Thomas recipe?
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2083449 tn?1381354708
Hi Hope, you certainly took a huge step in admitting your problem to your husband and best friend! This is a wonderful forum and lots of advice! Tapering is very hard, but it certainly one way to go! There have been very successful people who have made it tapering! For me, I tried for several weeks and I just couldn't do it and ended up going cold turkey! I am 2 weeks off of my pain pills now and while it has been difficult, I'm so glad I made that choice! In tapering, the withdrawal symptoms last longer, but are less severe. Cold turkey is shorter, but withdrawals are more intense! Either way is good, and you should do what works for you! Please check out the Thomas Recipe at the bottom right of this page! It will give you advice on vitamins/supplements that you can take which help with the symptoms! Read as much as you can here, there are some great stories of success! Stay around here and post any questions or feelings you have! You will find a ton of support and advice! I would have never made it so far without all of the caring and knowledgeable folks here! Best wishes and keep posting!
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Avatar universal
First, I'm so glad for you that you told your husband and best friend. I know it was very hard and I hope they are supporting you in this.

I am nearing the end of a slow taper that my neurologist set up. I was addicted to pain medicine prescribed for migraines - butalbital.  It was so difficult to tell his nurse but after doing that, I set up an appointment with my family doctor, whom I have a much better rapport with; and told him too.  It is liberating to have people on my side - people who can answer questions and support me in this.  I have also started seeing a therapist. My husband counts my pills out for me each day and helps me stay accountable.  

If you decide to tell your doctor, he or she might help you with a taper schedule that is safe and doable.  

You have taken some very important steps in telling two very important people in your life and making the effort to stop.

Don't turn back now.  You have set the plan in motion.  It CAN be done.  Each day is a step toward freedom.

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Avatar universal
Stay mentally strong. Take as many baths as you can. Only lay in bed if you are completely exhausted. If you can get your hands on weed, it helps. But if your not the smoking type, I found any benzo helps with sleep. Take only before bed. Don't buy Xanax off the street and take it at 10am then walk around like a blacked out zombie all day. I'm on day 2 right with ya. I wont be sleeping tonight. That's for sure
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