Day 1

[mgoesjr]

Im about 24 hours out from my last pill(oxycodone) and I really truly want to quit. Ive been using for five years and quitting on and off for about two years now. I've had six months pill free(on subs) two months cold turkey and then the last 3 or 4 months have been progressively worse, going from using every 3 to 5 days to the past two weeks where I cant even make it to 36 hours before I snap and go use. Ive been to doctors moved three times and I still end up snapping saying **** the world and going to get high. I'm sick of hurting all the people that really love me for something that just destroys myself. I'm so used to the withdrawl symptoms I know what to eat to avoid them. I dont get dope sick like I did two years ago where I couldn't function but I get mild withdrawls when I do stop. Any input would be helpful, I just don't know what to do to stay clean.

[candy_17]

You've got to change your mindset. As an addict we all had the same poor pittiful me attitude and we always used hard times as an excuse to say screw it and go get high. Looking back I hate what a coward I was. To be clean you're going to have to want to stop using and put the steps in place to make your recovery work and last but until you're committed and determined to wanting it, it isn't going to happen on its own. I hope that you will dig deep and find your desire and strength to regain control of your life and stop letting a pill control you because after you do I know you aren't proud of those choices. I promise you that with recovery you will feel so proud of yourself and better than you have in your life about yourself and life. Be blessed.

[vicki595]

You need aftercare. It can be support through an addictionologist, therapist, AA or NA, group therapy, just do something along those lines.

Change up your routines, cut out your sources, and share with your family and close friends. Trust me, we need all the help we can get.

Keep posting!

[snowflake24]

all the posts that have responded to you are right....you have to really want to quit, cut of your sources...ect...get into na

[atthebeach]

As your addiction progresses , the withdrawals will progressively get worse each time.

[cleanguy]

This is my second time around in attempts to live a clean life. The second time was by far harder for me. I armed myself with this board, the knowledge on it, the search bar on this site, the Thomas recipe, and did the work.

First time around was a cake walk in comparison to this time. It's part of the reason why i started again. Thought i could jump off and on the wagon. Definitely, not the case for me. I encourage you to share your symptoms as they happen. Know these symptoms may occur BEFORE you are knee deep in it... have your recipe supplies handy.

If I had to do it again ( not going to happen) i would have taken two weeks off work, had several change of sheets for sweating, and have purchased the ensure ahead of time. Best of luck!

[atthebeach]

hello and welcome. insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
so what will you do different this time? get rid of all your sources, stay away from the people,pleaces and things associated with using.
have you been to therapy? support groups? you need a new routine, a new way of life. you need to change your way of thinking. you know the pills are destroying you and those you love.
so you need to put as much into your recovery as you put into your use.
have a resolve in your heart,mind,soul,body and spirit that you are done.
when you move you take yourself with you. you become your own worst enemy. you have to be your own best friend. you need to get clean for you.
there is a life after pills. it is waiting for you.
we are here to support you and encourage you,
debbie