Day 10! Ups and downs. Weekends ugh!

[Back2Me]

Why why why are weekends soooo tough!!!!!!!!!!! Have not had a craving all week until tonight. God I swear I could eat my way through a percocet castle right now if one was in front of me. It's ALMOST like I just stopped taking them. Or I have still been taking them. You know about 6 hours after your last dose. Feels kind of like that. Maybe PAWS already?  I don't know but I am having a rough night. I tried playing the drums real hard and gettting all sweaty an taking a hot shower and about 4 advil and some aleve. And I STILL feel cravings. And I don't want to EAT although I am kindnof hungry. I HAVE GAINED LIKE 25 LBS AND AM NOT GOING DOWN THAT ROAD AGAIN. I am tryig to lose the weight now. Maybe that is not helping but I can help it my cloths are almost not fitting and inhave no money to buy more. Terrible night :(

[nooneknows214]

Must be something in the air this weekend. I'm on day 11 and just flat out tired. Of course I have a bit of a cold too. Pills would fix that right up. No way, suffering a little is better then being back in that prison.

[Back2Me]

Yeah freedom they hit hard when they come. Not cravingntoo much right now but thinking about them WAY TOO MUCH today. And I know it's going to get worse. I am heading off for a hike in the woods it will be a good 1 1/2 hour walk on the trails. That should be good. I have to shed this stupid new weight now so I have double motivation to walk. I just know when I get done my back is going to be killin and that's when I have to stay strong. Today and tomorrow will be brutal I can already tell. BUT I am determined to make it to my meeting Monday all clean. I even told my GF that I will probably be testing her all weekend and to NOT let me give in under any circumstance. She is around me a lot and there really would be no way for me to get anything
without her knowing. So hopefully between the both of us I can make it this weekend 100%.

[freedom007]

I can't believe you posted this today!!  I did so well this week...even sat at a meeting last night and listened to someone talk about cravings...I said to myself "wow, glad that isn't me!"  Then I woke up this morning and BAM...CRAVINGS.  Saturdays are the hardest for me too.  The sun is shinning...nothing to do...why not pop and drink?!?

Stay strong...I went for a run and am much more relaxed...

[vicki595]

Hey...here's a thought.  Flush the Ambien!!  We love a good flushing story around here!!    For you,it's not a good thing...

Good! Therapist on Monday...just let it rip...total honesty!!

Good luck!!

Vicki

[Back2Me]

Aftercare starts Monday for me with an addiction therapist for those that asked. And yeah ambien is crazy evil. I took it mostly for the wild buzz effect it gives if you stay awake on it. It really is addicting in this way too. I would mild hallucinate while on it and get this heavy jello like feelin in my body. But it cannot be good for the old brain. I have said before it's like I could almost FEEL my brain being warped while on this stuff.  And it started affecting me the following day. I would be real adgitated at times and kind of paranoid and really argumentive. I did not like what it was doing to me. I never got full blown addicted to it but I was probably real close. that's why I have been deciding to stay away from it at least
for a while.

[Addict63]

Thanks Michele. I'll look into the Walmarts Sleep Aid. I need something to help me sleep every now and then. I trust when I finally get off of Ambien I'll be back to normal!

[micheleTX]

omg!  I had no idea Ambien was that addictive??  All I ever heard from friends who were taking it was that it really didn't help them sleep...wow, what a list of sh-t that you go through to get off it...good to know!   I use Walmarts Sleep Aid, 6 bucks for 100 pills, and some nights I dont need it, no withdrawals ..  but when you do need it, it knocks you out and no drowsiness the next day (well, after 2 cups of coffee :)
wow wow wow...I'll remember that!!

[Addict63]

I hear you on the Ambien. I withdrew off the opiates and thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. The light turned out to be a freight train. I started taking Ambien, mostly less than prescribed, when my Dr gave it to me as needed because my pain wouldn't let me sleep.  I took 1/2 to 3/4 of a 10mg tab for only 10 months. I simply got hooked on a good night's sleep.

After detoxing from vikes I felt it's time to quit Ambien next. I didn't think much of it as being a problem (?) I was wrong again!

My doc's taper program has been going on for 3 weeks now. I have 2 weeks left. The fun includes abdominal pain, cramping, dry throat, dizziness, teeth grinding, tingling scalp, headaches, buzzing in the ears, low energy, depression, not to mention lack of sleep when I'm on the low dose night. My dosage of Vikes were easier and quicker to detox from than this sh!t.

It's only meant for a 10 day course at the most, but some folks take it all their remaining lives. My 85 year old mom was on 5mg per night down in FL. until she passed away. Doctors feel it's useful in some cases. But I'm here to tell our little corner of the world that full Ambien addiction is a disaster to get off of. If you want or need to use it, look it up and learn all you can. I think you'll quickly change your mind.    

[micheleTX]

Hey back!  Well in my opinion, you are still weak mentally and thats why you craved. I was craving badly around then too, it takes some time for your brain to get those "natural drugs" flowing into your body again.  Just give it a bit more time, and they will kick in and take away alot of those cravings.  Not all, but alot!!
Im with whoever said, get some aftercare.  It is invaluable...being around others who have been through this (i know we have) is just the way to go if you continue to have cravings...Please keep posting, maybe this forum is all the aftercare you have right now, like me :)  You are taking the vitamins and stuff right??  They also help tremendously :)

[Back2Me]

I made it through. Weird night though. I was a craving maniac but honestly I don't really know ifl I was craving perc's or just craving SOMETHING.    I had myself convinced that it was but I don't know. AnywAy after ii ate I felt better and the cravings went away. But about an hour after I ate the bottom just dropped out of me instantly. I got real cold and weak and could not even keep my head up like I was passing out tired. Could not barely turn the tv off. It was weird. I am having a lot of stress right now and I did play the drums pretty hard. Maybe I'm just not real strong in the body and mind yet. Maybe that all caught up to me?  

[vicki595]

Taperme~  I had just thought the same thing:  Day 10 is his trigger!!

So,Back~  Maybe that knowledge will get you through the night along with a full tummy.  Then tomorrow you can think about going to a meeting,right?

V.  xo

[taperme]

Do you think that the fact you haven't made it past day 10, and today is day 10 might be making your mind play some tricks on you? If you've done it for 10 days, you can do it for 11 and then 12. I know you don't want to do this again, right? Just keep posting and venting and talking it out. We'll help you through.

[GA Guy]

Ambien is listed as a Class A drug in the Talbott Recovery Medication Guide. They classify Class A drugs like this..

Class A drugs must be avoided completely, as they are well known to produce addiction and are the most dangerous of all. Only under very unusual conditions can Class A drugs be taken by a recovering addict or alcoholic, and only when given by a physician or dentist and with the consent of the addiction medicine physician that follows your care. These exceptional circumstances can include severe illness and injuries, including major surgery, car accidents and other trauma, and tests or procedures that can only be done under sedation or anesthesia. Medication treatments for certain psychiatric conditions are in this category as are medications used for drug detoxification. The street names for relevant drugs are also included in Class A.

In other words..not a good idea for addicts. Be VERY careful

[vicki595]

Yes..food hits the pleasure receptors like pills do.  Your brain wants to be fed...with something!!  Food should do it...
If you take the Ambien for sleep,it may not give you that brain fog. It's not meant to be taken and then "pushed through" while awake. It'll make you feel stupid.  And I know you know this...wink   wink.    Try it for sleep.    :)

V.   xo

[GA Guy]

What are you doing for aftercare?

[Back2Me]

Yeah I have never made it past day 10 (tonight) in the past. No doubt I WILL make
it tonight. I really think it's the HUNGER. so I am eating some Asian soup. And some light poPcorn. I think it's the hunger for sure. There is NO WAY I'm giving in that is not an option. I was actually trying to substitute the perc's and thinking about ambien which I have prescribed to me ad I have used recreationally but them make my brain feel like it's being damaged. It's like I am just searching for a buzz tonight. Oh well time to eat I guess

[vicki595]

Don't know exactly why w/e are so tough but you're not the only one feeling that way tonight....As Taperme said: Keep venting. And keep pushing through. This is very common at this point in your clean time and all of a sudden  poof!  it's gone.
We're here...keep posting.
Vicki  xo

[taperme]

You can do it. Just remember that there will still be tough days. It isn't linear, more zig zaggy (is that a word?) at this point. Look back at where you were a week ago and I'd bet you're doing better, right? Keep posting and venting and we'll help you get through because you can do it!