Day 10 and scared

[Pat1956100]

I had to take lots of imodium today.  My stomach is very upset and my head is aching.  I want to curl up in a ball and try to sleep. I had those crazy phone calls yesterday from someone I don't want calling and now I have to face the 4pm appt today with the addiction counselor.
I am so scared now.  I feel sick.  I don't want to go but know I have to go.  Ugh, how did I get myself into this mess?
I just feel panicky and sick.  Hopefully the imodium kicks in and the headache goes away.  
5 more hours and I really don't know what to expect.  I hope it's not another let down.

[Pat1956100]

Well it's now Day 11 and I woke up with some chocolate all over me again.
I have to move it off my bed lol.
Chocolate and walks really work for cravings.
I haven't been walking in my sleep that I know of but I still wake up feeling exhausted but it's getting better.
My energy is SLOWLY returning but I have a long way to go.
Every body part hurts, partly from the fibromyalgia and partly from pushing myself to do things.
It feels good though.  It feels so good to accomplish things.
I have a long way to go and lots to do but I am proud of what I am doing.
I will not get overwhelmed.  

[bama88]

Pat.
I'm so proud of you. You've came a long way fast baby. Just keep doing the right things. It will lead you to the right places. I'm so so proud your getting help. I hope your proud of yourself. Your getting stronger every day. I promise you. I'm so so proud of you. This is gonna be the best of the best things you've ever done for yourself.

Ice cream sudaes for you......much support.

[Pat1956100]

Haha, you are so sweet.
I am feeling good too.
It was a HUGE step.  Isn't it nice when someone finally listens to advice instead of making excuses about why they can't do it.
Keep an OPEN MIND people who are trying to get clean.
It works.
Thansk sweety for your support.

[conhall]

I AM SOOOO DAMMMM Proud Of You I actually Yelled outloud WHEWT WHEWT! ATTA GIRL!

I Knew once you got there and took this step it would be okay so glad she picked you :))))
Smilling Big! For You Ms Pat!

[Pat1956100]

Thanks to all of you.  I know it is great to see things again but even better to feel again.  Even if it is sad feelings.  It just feels good to feel.
I seriously never realized how good fresh air felt. It's been a long time since i Just breathed it in.  Usually, I was rushing to get somewhere praying that the pills would kick in enough to get through the day and that I didn't lose it with a customer.
Clean just feels good.

[toothfairie]

so happy for you Pat!!  now it will be my turn next!!  i just need the energy and find the right place to go!!  thanks for sharing this with us!!  you are a brave strong woman!!  xoxoxo  it gives me encouragement!!