Day 2 ... Roxy w/d ... oh God!

[RedHot_BUll]

Good morning all ... I stayed home from work as the stomach is "wretching" ... prolly should have gone as I have all day to simply sit and think about HOW BAD I feel.

Sleep last night was awful ... up & down all night ... and the most bizarre thing about my arms, they had minds of their own, it was like a horror movie the way they flailed around on their own! It was like brain impulses made my arms do more than just twitch ... they actually swung!

One year plus of Roxy 30's 2 x day, that I abused ... I am on 2cd morning of cold turkey quit ... I MUST do this (the kidney growth) but am I strong enough? ... I would venture a good guess that I purchased another 60 pills a month from "friends", so my use was more like 4 x a day for the last 4-5 months straight.

Just heaved ... OMG ... all I dared to swallow has been some coffee & some water... what a mistake!

Oh I hate myself right now for doing this to me!!!!!!

[Jules1866]

OMG, you rock!!!

You were in the middle of ct detox with all the side effects, you told your dealer to get lost and went back to yacking.....you are my hero!!! that is great, you will no longer be a prisioner to the drugs, the high, chasing pills  just so you feel normal.'

keep posting, i love listening to how strong you are,

i am on a taper schedule with morphin.

jules

[TrayCee]

this thread is getting confusing-

droping32-  you should start a separate thread, It'll be MUCH easier to keep everything straight.

RB!  Youre doing great!!  Keep up the hard work.    Look how far youve come!!!

[droping32]

i feel like jack black in tropic thunder right now

[droping32]

im bout to go on 50 hours and im still felling ******* weird i must think about them every 15-20 mins.  i think ur right about taking them i should just say **** it and never use em again.  this has to be up there with the  most dificult thing i have ever done.  is there and damn way to speed this process up. cause i loose it when ever i have to go out some where or when i have money in my hand.

[Cassie415]

Wow, I am so impressed with how you turned away your friend who was at your house with the pills. That is incredible and you must really want this. Think of the strength you had in that moment anytime you are feeling down. I sympathize with you and get how hard it is when people won't leave you alone. I get texts and calls often, and one of my roommates has it or goes to get it sometimes and it is soooo hard to say no in those moments, but when you do you feel so much better. Even though in the moment it is hard, you've got to think of the short term vs long term consequences of using then. Also maybe you should try to eat like smoothies with protein boosts or bananas, I think the coffee or soda could maybe make your anxiety worse plus your body needs good nutrients to help reboost itself. Congrats on your clean time!!

[sid3]

I agree, and know first hand that if you take a few one night you will end up in the same place. Only worse. At some point the pills do stop working, and you'll end up taking more and more, but the original good feelings the pills provided never really comes back. Relapse is unfortuantely a very tough part of recovery, but I think most will agree, every detox gets harder and each relapse generally leads to higher consumption and lots of suffering.

[RedHot_BUll]

NO way am I going through yesterday again ... the ONLY way I am getting through today (day3) is if I lived thru yesterday I can do today too! That is truly an inspiration that I didn't buy Roxy's yesterday  when staring at them ... plus all that literal pain from day 2 I WON'T do again ... no way ... I cannot believe I am this strong ... as I am usually very weak when it comes to this ... a kitten with Roxy's and all pills.

[leeisgettingclean]

you can not take a "few one night" that does not happen, NO you will not go right into full w/ds, none at all infact, however you will go right back to full active addiction and yes that leads to full w/ds

[dellta]

im on day 6 and i feel your pain it does suck major but if you hang in there it does get better each day has its own demons that come with w/d but give yourself a chance but it does suck day 4 for me was ****** but not as bad as day 3 stick it out and if you want to give up just think you can go thru all this fun your having now when you realize you need to stop or run out of money or cant go thru the rat race to get hooked up after w/d stop and u start waking up you realy need to remember what your going thru rite now and run in the other direction you will make it and it does get better stay hydrated eat and stay busy i know thats the last fn thing you want but it does help and its better than sitting around and dying GOODLUCK  youll be fine hang in there

[abel04]

RH--96 hours!!!!!! you're over half way.  Thomas's receipe was very helpful----read my posts & you'll see you're not alone----wd is really really hard----just remember, the pills stop working and you can't take enough to make them work--read my posts.

d32--do it girl----you can do it---you'll never be 22 again, don't "waste" 23,24,25,26...........

HB--you got it right!
annabel

[Hillbilly47]

Being that I'm on my first real cycle of getting clean, I can't say for sure, but I suspect that if you do "take a couple one night" you will run a very strong risk of starting the clock all over again.  In fact, in addiction circles, there's even a word for that:  relapse. For me, I'm assuming that will be the case and acting accordingly (ie, not taking anything stronger than an aspirin).  I don't ever want to go through those first days again and that has been a very strong incentive for me to just say "h*ll no."

[droping32]

yea it is gonna every rough but i am taped out of money now so i have now choice but to stop cold turkey. im bout 40 hours since my last pill basicly im just having a reall f***ed up stomach and some mind games.  i had a dream yesterday that i was getting ****** up again and it felt so real but i woke up today knowing i dont wanna feel like this ever again.   one more question say i chill out for a month then i take a couple one night will i got in to straight hard w/d again?

[Hillbilly47]

RedHot:  by now, you should be at the 60 hour point, which means you're probably over half way to the end of the worst part of it.  Stay strong and you'll never have to feel this way again!

Droping:  I'm not a doc, but I am an experienced pill head.  My 2 cents - If you've recently been taking 300+ mg of hydro a day, you'll need to either taper your consumption down to get to a safe level from which to quit, or you'll need to find an addiction specialist near you to help.  Going cold turkey from that level sounds rough.

[droping32]

i have been taking 30-40 narcos/perc 10s and soma 350 a day the mix would make me really relaxed but slowly toar my life right out from under my legs i  have been on them for 4 years and i have unlimted access to them since n the last year i learned how to doc hop and keep my needs fulfilled.  i would get about 1500 to 2000 a month in just the narcos.  i started in 06 with just one to two aday ive never been injured bad enough to take em ijust liked them. i went from havein a great job a great girl to no job, on thin ice with the girl.  i have to stop now or im just gonna loose my life for good and put me in a hole thats to deep for me to climb out of. im on day one it wasnt that bad but day one never is this isnt the first time i tried kicking the habet but it definetly gets harder every time . i just need to no when do u think its safe to start working again without the constint mindfucking that goes on and who knows how long its gonna take me to start feeling a little better considering how many i was taking. im only 22 i cant do this **** no more.

[sid3]

Call in with the flu, with all the hype over the swine flu right now, your boss won't want you coming in if he has any common sense.  

[RedHot_BUll]

Thanks for the comments ... you guys rock and I really thank you for writing!! I made 48 hours .... 48.5 to be exact! Now I feel guilty but it sure helped my stomach ... I found some old stale weed ... I rolled 2 and smoked em both! The wretching has subsided for awhile, the brain tugs are still there though ... that has to be a narcotic tug!!!??? The game is on TV MLB post season and I can't concentrate.

Having many thoughts on how to call in sick tomorrow now ... I simply cannot imagine working and feeling anything like THIS ... Oh my I can't make up my mind on my thoughts ... I am all over the place ... thanks guys.

[Brokenbutglued]

Congrats RedHot!!! Way to go on staying strong and not caving in! I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you but you did GREAT!!! Maybe you should treat yourself and a friend (obviously not the "friend" above though lol) to a nice dinner or movie! You deserve it for sure!

[TrayCee]

WOW 48 hours!!!! Thats great!  You'll be so glad you did this when its all over!

[struggling_college_student]

Wow that is awesome that you turned her away....I know that must have been hard and I too experienced that during my WD.  I actually had fronted my dealer enough money for 180 Norcos about a week before I went cold turkey.....well sure enough he comes knockin on the door I think on day 4 and I immediately took them and had my brother flush them.....I was so weak too and the sight of those little pills drove me crazy!!  But I am so glad I did it and Im proud of you for staying strong.  Remember every day you make it thru without using is one day closer to being free of this horrible addiction!  You can do it.....just keep posting and reading and posting and reading.....thats all i did for like 4-5 days and then I woke up one day and realized everything was gonna be OK!  Good luck and God bless!!

Jeff

[RedHot_BUll]

Ok another update ... guess who JUST stopped by ... a "friend" ... with pills in hand wanting to sell me some!!!! Here I sit like a total wretch ... 46 hours into this ... and I am literally staring at a handful of blue Roxy's (my pill of choice) ... and now I quote this "friend" "aw c.mon I drove all the way over here and you're not gonna buy any ... how about I drop the price a few bucks" .... I literally look like I sleep under a bridge and am sure I smell a little and this person is standing in my door pushing this on me ?????? WTF....

No I didn't buy any and wouldn't let her past the doorway ...

That was hard ... prolly the hardest thing I've done yet ... I even just puked a little ... I am praying day 2 (today) is the worst ... if day 3 or 4 is like today I am not sure I can do it ... I know, just get through today ... hell just the next hour the way I feel!

[RedHot_BUll]

Update ... I almost called "a friend" ... this is SOOOO hard ... so I laid down instead of calling for pills ... I actually slept for 2-3 hours ... I am still waking up but I remember at first when I woke up that I felt good ... that lasted maybe 5 minutes ... right back to gnarling stomach and twisted brain cells ... I ate some pretzels and a diet coke (besides the juice) before a nap ... that came out as "you know what" ... so here I sit weak as a kitten with wretching guts and if I could keep a thought pattern I'd play some cards online ... my brain feels like it's been fried and whoever the hell is pulling at it can stop now ... small attempt at humor ... in 2.5 hours it will be 48 hours since last Roxy .... why can I figure THAT out but not watch TV??? Addiction ***** .... thanks all, you guys rock!!!

[ginsa]

Diluted grape juice is a good idea. And don't think you can drink Decaf coffee either...the acid in the coffee is just as noxious as the caffeine right now. Try to avoid a lot of high sodium foods, they might make you retch. You need extra potassium and magnesium right now to combat the RLS and spastic movements in your arms. Bananas are a good source off both. but only a couple of bites at at time, sugars in them can cause excess stomach acid. Try mixing banana's and rice if that doesn't sound gross. It works for me. All nuts, nut butters and beans have a lot of magnesium too. Coconut milk, banana,rice and protein powder mixed to make a smoothie is easy on the digestion.

Congratulations on toughing it out! Stay strong and keep posting as much as possible for support.

[4tolive4]

A couple more days, RedHot. You can do it. On day 4, you'll begin to see a break in the clouds. Just 2 more days. Compare that with the amount of time you spent abusing. Not a bad trade off if u ask me. We can handle ANYTHING for just 2 more days, right? Hang in there.....ur not alone

[qiut4myself]

I agree that day 3 was the worse and then day 4 was the turning point that I felt a tad better each day after the 3rd. I ate chicken noodle soup for about a week, nothing else except drank tons of water and took hot baths, 3 or 4 a night. You will feel better and you will be so proud of yourself for kicking this in the butt!
Keep us posted and post often. The people in here know what your going through and reading their ideas really helped me get to 26 days.
Good luck, prayers and peace to you