Day 2 and Not Doin Good

[cpdave]

Hey guys I am in day 2 of oxy withdrawls and I'm not doin good have vitamins and stuff but the back pain and the anxiety is real bad.I guess I just need some support.By the I'm at work was suppost to be off and got called in couldn't tuirn it down due to bills.

[NorcBgone]

I'm with you. Day 6 was pretty good, but 7 is kicking my boot -Y! I'm exhausted, feel like someone is sitting on my chest, and the anxiety is thru the roof. Good news is....we'll be here to talk about it more tomorrow! lol  Hang in there buddy.

[cpdave]

Having a bad day again the anxiety and my bones feeling like there crushing is really wearing me down.

[NorcBgone]

How ya doing Dave?

[HealingUp]

Because of some problems with my neck I started Vicodin about 3 months ago 5/500's  and was limited to 5 a day, but did take more on several days. I did have surgery 2 weeks ago now and they switched me to oxycodone 5mg up to 3 tabs every 4 hours along with Valium 5mg 1 tab every 4 hours.
I slowed myself down on all of them during the past week and was mainly only taking them at night. As of now I haven't taken ANY of them going on my second full day. The problem that I am having is that no matter how tired I am at night now, I only sleep about an hour and a half and then am wide awake the rest of the night (and following day). I am assuming that it is just my body was used to the 'induced' sleep and now it doesn't know how to do it naturally.  Does anyone know how long it will take for my body to get back on track? I am walking up to 2 miles a day every evening right now trying to burn off both the sugar calories and work the drugs out of my system.
I understand the sugar thing! I don't even want to think about how many pounds of gummi bears I have eaten in the past few weeks!!!

[LeaAnn807]

Yes, that's awesome!  Your family will be a huge support for you!

Hope you continue to feel better!

[cpdave]

I'm doing a little better back is still hurting leg and stomach issues I actually took today off and I never take off work but mentally can't handle it today.Took a big step and told my wife and kids well just made I offical they already new but they r giving me a ton of support so that's awsome

[NorcBgone]

Hey Dave - Keep pushing forward. I'm on day 6 and just now feeling human again. I have slept the last 2 nights. The anxiousness comes and goes, but it's less frequent. Keep posting and letting us know how you're doing.

[cpdave]

Thanks for the support guys.Having a bad day withdrawl wise but I'm pressing on

[jstntime]

Hey,

Yes don't beat yourself up, you're still in the game.  I would bet dollars to donuts that every single person in this forum has done what you did.  It is the reason we are here in the first place.

I just got 40 days clean after making it to 150 and having a slip for a few days.  It $ucks but if you learn from it, it's not all negative.  You get up (as you have done), and learn how you will change your actions to prevent another relapse.  

Hang in there, you CAN do this,

bob

[laurel453]

yeah, jimi is right... learn the lesson and keep walking... we can't trust ourselves and when we fall, we stand up again and keep fighting. I don't think you will experience wds like the first days..work hard on this lesson and keep being positive that you can do it , OK?

[jimimiddlefinger]

Yeah 3-4 are BMF's. You'll get past it though. I bet by the weekend you'll be ok. Hey there may come a time when I'm the one saying "I slipped". What ya do right? You just climb back on and keep goin. At least you had the courage to come on here and admit it. Alot of people wouldn't sack up like that. Some would just pretend it didn't happen. You get big points imo for doin that.

[cpdave]

Yea I'm at work but I got to get past day 3 or 4 for me that's the hardest if I could do that I think I would be mentally better off and I have to move this weekend god that's gonna suck...lol

[jimimiddlefinger]

Oh god ya man I bet it was the coffee! I'm a coffee hound too. I knew that would make me jittery so I completely cut it out. And I am jonesing for a cup of Java lol, but I'm gonna wait a couple days. I'll tell you what it ain't easy to quit. I gathered from your early posts that you, like many here, have real pain issues to deal with and that's how you ended up where you are. Because of that you should cut yourself alot of slack over your slip. Can't say the same for me. Oh yeah I got put on pills because of chronic back issue. But my back wasn't the reason I was doin them. I was gettin high, no more no less. No excuses for me. I'm just a dips**t lol. Hey you might be a half step behind now but we'll wait for ya. Lotta people on here pulling for you. Me, I'm doin better today (knock on wood). I hit a wall yesterday afternoon. I went form ok in the a.m. to feeling horrible by the afternoon. It was like a wave, a reminder that I'm not better yet and I need to be aware of that. But I push on. You at work today?

[cpdave]

Hey brother thanks for writing that I no not to beat myself up to bad hell we are addicts its what we do and were damn good at it lol I don't feel bad today and that's what is messing with me cause I'm sure its because of me takin those damn perc's last night so if I add a few days so be it but I'm tellin you for some reason the anxiety was horrible gloom and doom type crap thinkin I was havin a heart attack but I think it was from so much coffe I drink a lot of it and when I'm takin pills it doesn't bother me so I guess I need to cut that out a while.I guess if it was easy to quit pills we would have done it along time ago or maybe not...lol.How r u today anyway

[jimimiddlefinger]

Jeez Dave don't beat yourself up man, you're human. Look I said just the other day that although I had cut ties with my supplier and wouldn't seek them out, if somebody walked up to me in the WalMart parking lot with a 40 and said "Hey I think you dropped this"......I can't cay with ANY conviction that I wouldn't take it. Or if I happened to find one rollin around in the ashtray of one of my vehicles. I am not near that strong yet. That will come with time. We make mistakes, we deal with em right? Just move on. It probably won't prolong your wds. your almost out of the woods. Funny I had really bad anxiety last nite 2. Between like 8 and well after midnite. Heart was occasionally boppin and my legs were shaking. Just day 3 messin w/ us I guess. You'll get past this. Go easy bro and hit mr back when ya can..

peace

[cpdave]

Well I screwed up last night the anxiety was a 9 out of 10 the physicall stuff was not to bad and I kept tellin myself that it was all in my head and yada yada anyhow guess what I found in a drawer......5 10's and what do u think I did....drum roll.....I took em..What an idiot now let me tell u that's a far cry from what I use to take but the point is I had a weak moment and took them and the funny thing is thay did absolutely nothing so I'm an idiot had 3 day's and blew it but ayt least when more was offered to me this am I turned them down.I feellike such a loser.....good god will I ever get this right

[jimimiddlefinger]

four wheelers and booze! That's quite a combo hahaha. Actually I did dirt bikes and booze and that' kinda what got me here today lol. They tore up my back and then the Dr. gave me the pills and I liked the pills so I got more pills and finally better pills. Then it was dirtbikes and pills. Awe **** I made a wrong turn somewhere. Well I hope your doin better than me today man. I must have hit a wall. I layed on the couch all day. Woke up thinking I was headin out of the woods boy was I wrong. Tomorrow will be a better day though. You stay strong.

Hope you had a great fathers day (you to Matt)

Peace

[jimimiddlefinger]

Lol Matt here I thought my posts were just rambling from the lunatic fringe. Glad I could insire someone. If I did it was worth it then. Your doin awesome dude six days done! When I hit that I'm packing my **** up and heading to the mts.

[cpdave]

Man I haven't been camping in years to afraid of leavin my pills......lol and what tops it all off is I'm 45min from some of the most beautifull mountains around sad I no.But that's gonna change may even dust off the old 4 wheeler and a special bottle of Makers Mark...Well not just yet but in time..lol

[MattTheAttorney]

dave and jimi- so glad you two have your sense of humor.  It is what helped me through the BAD days.  Happy fathers day to you both.  Being clean is the best gift you could give your kids.

Jimi - in one of your posts you told me my post was your inspiration to get off the fence.  Well I have to tell you.  Reading your post about being scared about the wd, it not being the right time, etc is what gave me the strength to finally decide to quit.  So, Thank you.  It was nice to have someone who had all the same fears as I did.

I proud of both of you and as bob would say "keep keepin on"

Matt

[jimimiddlefinger]

haha great stuff when you're camping! I roast it on a stick over the fire. when I take my kid I bring coolers full of food. But when it's me, I'm in survival mode. When I lived in Vancouver WA I used to go up near Mt St helens for like 2 weeks at a time. Take nothing but a backpack with SPAM, that cheese in a can, crackers, dried soup and Chocolate bars. My fishin pole too. That's bigfoot country so I always tok my shotgun and a bottle of whiskey to sleep at night lol. God I need to get in the Mts.

[cpdave]

Lol spam wow haven't ate that in years and actually sounds good.....lol

[jimimiddlefinger]

Hahaha that's for sure. Funny how people getting their lives together on a msg board can bond like this. I know if I'm glad I ran into this place. I actually grew up in Washington but my mom's side of the family is from that one stoplight town in N Wyo (and they turned that stoplight off years ago). Couple hrs from Billings MT. I lived there for 15 yrs. Don't know how I ended up in Ewetah but it ain't bad here. I bet the mountains in KY are awesome. I know as soon as I feel good enough to chop wood and hump a backpack I'm gonna go up and spend like 2 weeks in the high Uintas before I comeback down and put my life together. Just me, my scattergun, my 'ol ford truck and a couple cans of SPAM lol.

[quitinoxys]

Hang in there buddy your doing great. Moving to the mountains will probably work wonders for your sobriety. As far as "taking the meds responsibly" That's great but she will still become physically dependent. I took my meds as prescribed for 7 years and alas here I am Day 22 clean. I became very dependent and probably addicted so I see an addiction specialist for my aftercare as I don't want to slip back into taking pills every time my back hurts. I am finding alternative methods to deal with the pain. I am pulling for you keep going.