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Day 2 without Hydro

Had surgery 5 weeks ago and been on hydro. approx 14 5-500 mg. per day. I stepped down the last ten days to 2-4 5-500 mg. per day. I was irritated yesterday and had definite withdrawal symptoms. The problem is I know I can get more and don't want to do so because I have to get off them sometime, right. I am recovering from ovarian cancer and still have pain. I can't discern if it warrants meds or is withdrawal.  How much worse can I expect the symptoms this next 24hrs. is the worst behind me? and I stepped myself down after reading this site. My doc. did not discuss this process and I wish he had. I was not able to go as slowly as has been recommended here. If anyone would like to share you can email me at ***@****. thanks.
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Avatar universal
It would be the same thing.  You can replace one for the other.
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Avatar universal
If i took oxycodone and began to get addicted to them and then started to take hydrocodone would the addiction grow for oxycodone or would i just grow a new addiction towards hydro?
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Avatar universal
Well hello all.  I know that I am going to sound like the same thing you have been reading here. However, you guys are about my last hope.
     I have been taking Hydrocodone 10/660's for 4 years.  I take 7 pills in a 24 hour period (Where I sleep about 12).  Obviously this had become a serious problem. I have either tried to or been forced to quit due to outage, and NEVER made it past 3 hours without them until about 3 months ago.  I ran out, and I tried everyplace I knew to get them to no avail.. Finally, after countless hours spent in ER's across 5 towns... I gave up.  I quit cold turkey.  It was absolute HELL for about a week and a half... then, after that the symptoms only seems to subside enough to be able not to cry in pain.  Then, I fell into a BAD depression.  I did not want to kill myself, but prayed that I would die, which is NOT me.  I remember the life I had before this.  I was the bubbly life of the party.  I have robbed myself of my own life.  Well, anyway, FINALLY, one day I woke up and I sat straight up in bed to get up. I was smiling and I SWEAR I had a buzz...lol Like it used to give me. I felt good, I had beaten IT!! My house was being cleaned spotless everyday again, my sleeppattern was normal, and I was singing again. Ah, and memories were flooding back ( I totally had blocked most of 4 years OUT.)  We moved back to the town I loved, my marriage became wonderful again ( Shh, don;t you tell him I admitted it was  my bad!! lol.)  Then, one day I told my friend that I had a headache (sinus), she said: hey I got some pain medicine stuff here If you need some..."  My ears perked up like a doberman on a bone...I said oh YES!! I will be right over. Well I'll be damned if that bottle of liquid hydrocodone didn't turn into 4 more prescriptions...It started the whole damn thing again. I began to feel sick as I did while on the meds.  Don't get me wrong. I felt GOOD on them, but always had a cold, or my chest hurt (it slows down your respiration, bowels, blah blah.)So, here I am again, OUT of the thing that makes me me... I can't be me without it. I don't want it any freaking MORE!!!!! But, I feel even while writing this post that I am craving so bad I would give anything to have 1 danged hydrocodone. Just 1.  But as you all know, 1 is NEVER enough..... How can I beat this thing and take back my life? How can I finally be able to say NO to a Dr. or a friend who offers me pain meds? I am absolutely addicted.  I truthfully do not know if I can make it through what I made it through last time.  I spent 3 nights on the phone with drug councelors- crying, pleading with them to help me.sleeping in the hot bath tub because that is the ONLY time I did not hurt, and I mean hurt BAD.  Please forgive the language here I use and the probable fragments, and interrupted thought patterns, but I can barely think at all. My mind is going nuts  just trying to cope.  That damn stuff steals your life and replaces you with a desgusting, pethetic, lying junkie! I don't want this for my life anymore.  Someone please help me to help me.... Love,  Shaianne
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Avatar universal
I have often thought substance  abuse is a symptom of something much deeper.  I did not like myself to begin with, then my dad-my mom-my last and favorite grandma, all died in years 1995-1997.
One per year, I was in too much emotional and physical pain.  The rehabs never helped me.  I used to address myself as "hi, i'm ava, an addict and reprobate".  I told people I had no soul.
I'd say I used it all up.  It is gone.  I guess I was not a good patient.  Since then, I'm learning to be better to myself, and I think better of myself.  This forum really helps.  You can finally start looking at what is bothering you, now that you are clean.  Each time you use, you lose a part of yourself. I hope my post was not too depressing.  I post what happened to me in hope someone can identify with it, and get better.  Things do get better.
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Avatar universal
a quick question for anyone who has an answer:
how do you know when the depression you're feeling is no longer a symptom of withdrawl and is now merely back to "who you are."  after all,I, and probably many others of you, became desperate enough to turn to these pills for a reason--because you thought you needed relief from some kind of "unquiet mind".  (well withdrawl taught me one thing: if i thought i was unhappy before, hydrocodone withdrawl showed me that i really didn't KNOW what unhappiness could be.  so, drugs are not a cure-all, after all.)  but just because i've proven i can white-knuckle my way into sobriety this far doesn't mean that i will find happiness at the end of this dark tunnel...life was a pretty shadowy tunnel before i got into this horrible mess, anyways.  what does a naturally depressed person do when they think they've discovered only two options...1)drug addiction that initially creates happiness that you never knew was possible but inevitably leads to the depths of hell that makes the whole thing so not worth it, or 2) no drugs, and consequently, no impending depths of hell, but instead an overall feeling of "life isn't really worth it but it's not nearly as bad as the first week of sobriety cause nothing is that bad."
i'm asking because i've read a lot of posts about how long it takes to getting back to feeling normal and i'm worried that that happy end is not in store for me.  are most of you people who are going through a hard time because you're kicking a horrible drug, but generally feel that once you've kicked it life will be good again?  
i hope i haven't been defeating to anyone in any way.  i firmly do not think hydrocodone is the answer (although i did at one point and for a long time) but i don't know for sure that sobriety isn't just the lesser of two evils.

i'm only asking because i'm desperate...
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Avatar universal
actually, i meant to write that i'm responding to the post i wrote a couple of hours ago, not days.  he he..
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Avatar universal
i'm actually just responding to myself here, to the post i wrote a couple days ago.  because i feel okay RIGHT NOW.  and part of me knows that i've only been clean for three weeks and that i can't expect everything to be okay yet.  this is worth it, i know.  i've just got to chill out a little and be patient...hope everyone else is doing well.
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Avatar universal
philly bee a.k.a. the lapper

kathryne,
        well i did it, i went to dtox about two weeks ago and have been clean ever since. i have been going to n.a. meetings and they are really helping. last night was the first night i slepped w\out my legs kicking (i am told it was the methodone)
i feel so relieved from the chains that have broke free. it has
been a long time coming and i feel good. i seem to be fighting the cravings although "JUST FOR TODAY " i will not. started to work out in the gym and that really seems to help my body.
you have all the power to do it ..........
JUST DO IT FOR YOURSELF.........GOD BLESS

PHILLY BEE
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Avatar universal
WOW

I truly dont know where to start.

I was a heroin addict for three years....i started a methadone prescription to come off...only to find that the methadone withdrawl was much worse...then a 'friend' told me about oxycoton, great....having a serious problem with opiates and desperately wanting to stop the pain i used OC....it was amazing, in an instant it ridded me of any pain of uncomfortableness i waws feeling....i have been using OC for about 3 months now, and im petrified to come off it....a few times i havent been able to get any and i havent felt good, but before the REAL withdrawl kicked in i managed to get hold of some....can somebody tell me...is it harder or easier than heroin/methadone withdrawl??....what should i expect?...what are the differences??.....is there anything (except bloody opiates) that i can take to dull the pain?

i would really appreciate any advice or stories any of you may have that would help....and if anyone would like to ask me anything then please do

thanks

im sooooo thankful for the internet :)
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Avatar universal
HEY THIS IS MY FIRST POST AND IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION
THAT I NEED TO SEEK HELP. I AM GENERALLY A STRONG PERSON ALTHOUGH
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LIFE I AM IN NEED OF GETTING OFF HYDRO'S ESPECIALLY OXYS. I DO NOT HAVE ANY LEGIT. REASON FOR TAKING THEM ONLY TO GET HIGH. I'VE BEEN TAKING ABOUT 4-40'S A DAY. IT STARTED WITH PERKS BUT THE O.C.'S WAS MY CHOICE. I HOLD A PROFFESIONAL JOB AND AS OF NOW HAS NOT BEEN AFFECTED (YET).
I AM IN THE PROCESS OF TAPERING OFF BUT HAVE NOT YET STARTED.
LIKE THE REST I AM SCARED OF THE WD'S. I HAVE EXP. THEM BEFORE AND I AM SCARED.............I SAW A PROCEDURE WHERE YOU COULD RAPID DETOX. IN 4-6 HRS. UNDER HOSPITAL CARE. I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM IN FOR BUT I HAVE THE DESIRE TO GET CLEAN AND STAY CLEAN. MY PROBLEM IS THAT MY WHOLE LIFE I'VE ALWAYS HAD TO BE HIGH NO MATTER WHERE I GO. I AM A SINGER IN A PART TIME BAND AND IT WAS AND STILL IS A GREAT FEELING TO BE (OXY'D)ON STAGE. IT USED TO BE THE WEEKEND THING ALTHOUGH NOW IF I WENT W/OUT I WOULD CERTAINLY FEEL THE WD. AND I AM VERY SCARED OF THAT. COULD SOMEBODY GIVE ME A PERSONAL OR ANY INSIGHT ON RAPID DETOX OR PLEASE ANY INFO ON THIS PAIN IN THE ASS HABIT I HAVE FORMED?
I ALSO WANT TO APLOGIZE TO ANYBODY USING PAINKILLERS LEGIT.
I HAVE READ THE WHOLE FORUM AND WILL CONTINUE. JUST GETTING TO THE POINT OF WRITING HERE (TO ME)IS THE FIRST STEP AND YOU ALL ARE WONDERFUL PEOPLE. LETS DO IT TOGETHER AS A TEAM.

SEMI-SMILING IN PHILA.                  RONNIE
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Avatar universal
It sounds like you had a wing-ding of a time!  There's nothing like the sea and a casino to lift the spirits in us.  

Yep, it seems my new hobby and maybe livlihood is in the mechanical field.  Word gets around, you know.  Actually, I was a heavy diesel mechanic for over thirty years but am on total disability presently.  I just knew I'd get back into it again someday! I can't do the heavy lifting anymore but I have a couple of teenagers that help me in every way.  It's good for them to learn and it helps me to feel useful again.  

I was hurting tonight when I got home and my wife asked me if I wanted some pain meds.  I was able to say "no" again....don't get me started.  Anyway, 9am comes awfully early and we are going to mount new tires on the old Pete(10 of them).  Be good!

J.B.
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Avatar universal
JB:
such a delight to get back in town and see your posting. went (read that tagged along) with my wife business trip to gulf port, mississippi. while she was in a meeting i was left to amuse myself in this hotel that was connected to a large complex of casinos. i'm not much of a gambler, but the people watching was great. my wife and i were among the "youngsters" crowd. saturday morning i walked most of the way out on a break water that ex-
tended out into the gulf. the breakwater went south about 1/2 mile and then turned west. nothing much eventful happened, wich for my money is GOOD. all in all i was pretty well behaved. i don't think anyone is pissed off or mad at me.

JB, did you say you were helping a neighbor rebuild a semi-truck
diesel? that sounds like some honest dirt under the finger-nails!
watch out and try and keep as much of the skin on your knucles as
you can. hope your wife is doing as well as can be expected. know
that the 2 of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

keep an angel on your shoulders
kip


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Avatar universal
Thanks so much for the praiseful words! I'd jump in here more often but I'm busy overhauling and restoring my neighbor's 1973 Peterbuilt tractor.  We've rebuilt the engine and transmission and are now into the differentials.  It's a great diversion for me as it keeps me focused on something positive...kind of a good reason to get up in the morning.

Spring is just around the corner and we should all start feeling the thrill of rebirth and growth after the long hard Winter.  Even us poor downtrodden addicts can still feel alive and hopeful again.  Better days are coming!

J.B.
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Avatar universal
JR.
Hey man, I am back in town if you want to talk. I can only talk every few days and on the weekend. I hope all is well, or at least better than it was. I continue to pray for the light to shine in your life. You hang in there my friend. I am here for you as we all are and here for everyone on the forum. Drop me a line.

In Christ's Love, JR.~
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Avatar universal
JB:
good to hear from you! i've always been honered and helped by many
of your post. it's just there isn't enough! (how's that for being
a junky or a immature adult?) i'm still praying for your wife and
you. there is a way thru. be carefull with that morphine!! 1 grain
of ms in the gi tract can't amount to much but ya' never know...

dunit:
i always get real happy to see a new comer post again. see my plan
is to get a lot of people active on this site, so if i wander to
far off the path, someone will come pull me back on!! i'll be out
of town thursday - sunday, but will look forward to checking this site out as soon as i return!!

keep an angel on your shoulder
kip
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Avatar universal
I just wanted to thank you for my personal welcome to this site, it made me feel very good and special.I will try and keep in touch, but will always read the comments and ?. It's back to work tmo.I will continu to read the questions and posts. I willd will always send special thoughts to those of you who have relapsed or are "down" . YOU can do it! and there is always an angle watching over you.
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Avatar universal
I just wanted to thank you for my personal welcome to this site, it made me feel very good and special.I will try and keep in touch, but will always read the comments and ?. It's back to work tmo.I will continu to read the questions and posts. I willd will always send special thoughts to those of you who have relapsed or are "down" . YOU can do it! and there is always an angle watching over you.
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Avatar universal
One old junkie to another, I want to tell you that you are one of my favorite people here on this board.  I think you have just had a few bad days and will be just fine soon enough.  I get so damn frustrated, too.  With my wife slipping away daily with her health problems, plus my own, it ain't easy.  

Just a few minutes ago I had several 30mg tabs of MSIR in my hand and thought how easy it would be to down them all and go for the last "BUZZ".  The trouble is that my tolerance level is probably so high that I would enjoy the experience and awake in the morning wanting more!

In the end, I hate the incessant pain in my body.  I lovingly take care of my wife and hate that she is in severe pain from her cancer.  I have lost the desire to "quit" anything anymore and choose to live as respectively as I can manage.  We can still maintain our pride, Kip. Or am I just pissing in the wind?

J.B.
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Avatar universal
Hi, I posted in your thread before I read this.  Going from 10 mgs. to 2.5 mgs of valium in one week is way too fast. Also, as I suggested in my other post you may want to only w/d from one drug at a time. Be aware that benzodiazapine withdrawl is not the same as withdrawl from opiates. There is a risk of seizures and there are some unpleasant pshychological symptoms such as extreme anxiety, panic attacks, depersonalization and even psychosis. You do not want to go there. 1 mg decrease every four days is about as fast as you should take it with the valium.  Opiate w/d is excrutiating enough but can be done cold turkey if necessary without life threatening symptoms. But benzos are a whole other deal. Be very careful there.
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Avatar universal
hi to everone.  as you may have seen, i posted a question today using this site the first time.  i didn't know of this thread until afterwards,  but this is the thread where i'm at.

i've been on valium and vicodin for about 9 months straight due to bad back and knee surgery.  started abusing the pills, but am trying to get off and to get my body in shape.  back is well enough to do physical therapy now, so i started reducing the pills.  was on about 10 mg of valium and three 7.5 mgs of vicodin a day.  now down to 5 mg of valium a day and one vicodin (or vicoprofin)a day.  

have had all the symptoms all unwise, badgirl, dmr, ketta and others have had.  real anxiety -  wake up nervous.  now i'm getting real nervous cause i have about a week left before i run out.  my goal is go get down to 1/2 of one vicodin and 2.5 mg of valium before i go off totally.

do you think this will work,  and how much is the "panic of withdrawal" thing contributing.  i'm afraid i'm going to go back and try to get more (been here before in my life) and i am really trying not to go that way.

REALLY WOULD APPRECIATE SOME RESPONSES AND HELP ON THIS ONE....PLEASE!!
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Avatar universal
what a welcome it was to also get a response from you!  congradulation on this very special day for you.  i look to my 16th anniversary...  i appreciate you answering my question.  a week or so is not too bad.  the lack of energy is hard for me since i am normally full of energy, with or without Vicodin.  and having four kids makes especially hard.  but not complaining.  i am grateful for everyday that i'm not swallowing a handful of pills..  thank you for the warm response and the prayers.  the power of prayer has no boundries and has worked in my life for a very long time.  blessings J.R., your story has moved me more than you even know.  in fact in the first few days of quitting i read your posts and in reading them it made me feel as though my withdrawls were nothing in comparsion to what you went through.  you are person to be strongly admired and a great asset to this forum..  may His love continue to embrace you.  stars
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Avatar universal
JR.
Hey there,

Glad to know you. I was away celebrating my 16th anniversary today. I truly feel for you going through the WD's. You should notice energy levels starting to rise in a week or two. It will also depend on your diet, exercise and determination. There is plenty of wisdom, learned wisdom to draw from out here on the forum. We are here for you. I will keep you in my prayers as well as all others out on the forum, for wisdom strength and spiritual, physical healing. God Bless you with continued strength.

In His Love, JR.
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Avatar universal
kinda pissed at this moment in time...  just got thru writing a big ole long thank you and i *%$#@! deleted it by mistake!!!  gggrrrr..  but i do thank you WW from the bottom of my fast beating heart.  everything you said made total sense.  i was recalling the time i was addicted to excercise and i had zero pain anywhere, but as soon as i stopped (went to work) that is when i started aching everywhere...  so i totally believe the endorphen (sp) issue is correct, makes so much sense..  smart women you are.  i happy to say that i have been taking calcium for sometime now, but i am going to up my intake just alittle.. i will look into the others as well.  i started taking goldenseal and milk thistle the day after i quit my Hydrocordone.  not to mention tons of water and cranberry juice (natural cranberry juice).  i do have one more question if anyone could maybe give me an approx answer on how long does it take to get the energy level back up?  i was 20+ Vics a day over a matter of months.  I know everyone is different, but maybe just a ballpark figure.  i am so so tierd...  today is my 8th day free from "my personal hell".  i'm not even having any cravings, just feeling achey and tierd...  and God help me cuz i'm off to Disneyland tomorrow...  more than likely end up in a wheelchair or stroller by noon...  lol...  

i need to mention that everyone on these message board have my constant prayers and postive energy directed at each and every one of you, not to mention all the other lonely addicts that have no one...  we are so lucky to have one another.  i know for a fact that my recovery is due to alot of you on here...  i pray for strenght for each of us, to be free and to overcome..  life is so awesome, a gift, we can't let it slip through our fingers.  thanks again WW and everyone..


       sometimes voices in the night will call me back again
             back along the pathway of a troubled mind
       when forests rise to block the light that keeps a
                         travler sane
         i'll challenge them with flashes from a brighter time
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Avatar universal
Hi Stars, and welcome! I'm sorry no one answered your question before. Sometimes things get lost, so I'm glad you posted again.

I wish I knew the reason that there are aches and pains and lethargy after withdrawal from hydrocodone.  I think it has something to do with the way the body has not gotten back to making its own natural endorphins.  Apparently, the endorphins we have running through our system all the time keep us from feeling a lot of pain on a regular basis.  When we are on opiates, our endorphin production stops, and when we withdraw, it takes a while for the endorphin production to start up again.
That is my best guess.
It also may have a lot to do with nutritional deficiency. Opiates cause deficiencies in calcium, magnesium and zinc. Deficiencies in these can cause muscle aches, so supplementation is important.

I hope that helps, and good luck!
love,
WW
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