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1637908 tn?1333995024

Day 21 or 3 weeks no methadone

Well life is getting easier that is for sure. Last night was the first night I was able to go to sleep without the gabapentin which was great. I am still getting the ulcers in my mouth but I am starting to think its partly a side effect from the gabapentin. I am fighting this sinus thing right now which is making my head hurt every time I step outside so it makes it hard to get the much needed exercise that I need. And yesterday my sons counsler stoped by and was talking to me about what I had been thru in my child hood and it brought back alot of old memories that I didnt want to remember. I had a hard time copeing last night with it. It made it that much harder to fight the cravings to go get high in some way or another. But I know these are things that I need to face in order to not back slide. I really didnt realize until yesterday exactly how much I have repressed. I know I need to get some counsleing for this but cant really afford it. These are things that even my husband doesnt know that I went thru. I have always had the mind set of it is what it is. I cant change the past so I just try to block it out. Anyways I hope everyone is doing ok!
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1637908 tn?1333995024
thanks so much for all the support you guys have given me it means more then you could imagine right now!
Helpful - 0
1580085 tn?1400940838
it was exactly the same with me, i thought, if i could get my mum to talk about it with me, to acknowledge it or even be sorry , but no. she "conveniently" forgot or to bear any responsibility, my counselor told me to write a letter to my mother, asking what i needed to , etc, and explain how i felt, so i did, but all hell broke loose, she said aome awful things about me ,atc i am sure you can imagine, my counselor said "you have to let go now" leave it behind, your not going to get what you want/need. so i broke all ties with her, and i did feel a release, i stopped banging my head on a brick wall, and found i felt a lot freer , and it was not so important anymore,  well, sorry to have rabbited on there, i havent said all that before ,so you have helped me!  take good care of yourself,  best wishes,  sudie
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
3 whole weeks. wow! Congrats..So good!!.sorry about all the other issues right now-- but you are right "it is what it is" we can't change the past but we have the power to change the future. you are changing your future for the better by kicking that methadone. Stay STRONG girl!  TEENA
Helpful - 0
1637908 tn?1333995024
thanks so much. I know I dont want to think about it b/c it brings me alot of uneasy feelings against my Mom and talking to her about it so that I can move on from it just isnt a option. I have tried to talk to her about it and she just tells me to shutup. All I can say is that I think her reasoning for doing that is so that she doesnt have to deal with it but one day she will have to face the music. I cant blame her totally b/c my dad was a big factor in it but he had a lot of issues with Vietnam so to be he had a reason to act the way that he did but she didnt. I dont know its just a lot to process and I am having a hard time dealing with it. I have talked to my dad about it a little now that he has gotten sober but I dont want to send him in a downward spiral so I dont talk with him about it much.
Helpful - 0
1580085 tn?1400940838
i just wanted to say a huge well done to you! congratulations on day 21,  i do know how you feel when you have to think of the past, i know thats always been a big part of my addiction problems, i also had counseling but i still know theres things i have hidden in my head.   maybe ive learnt to live with them, as you so rightly say, we cant change the past, so we must just move on from it, and not let it ruin the future, i wish you well in your recovery, take care and god bless,
Helpful - 0
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