Day 30

[PlowBoy36420]

Well today marks a month of battle, I know I've put up a fight and this gives me second wind to keep fighting. I want this now more than ever and don't plan on giving up. Pills are starting to become the last thing on my mind.  I won today's battle and I'm ready for tomorrow's.

[PlowBoy36420]

Lower*
Not sure what's up with auto correct lol

[PlowBoy36420]

If I can get past this fatigue and lo we error back pain, I will be alright.  I will stick with some type of aftercare,  I feel it will be important in staying off the Tram-Train.
I'm having a rough day today for some reason, I'm so exhausted and my back and legs (calfs, ankles and bottom of my feet) are bothering me to the point I'm feeling anxiety and depressed. I know it will pass but it's making me feel like I want to call the doctor.
I'm pushing off, even if I did make that call they wouldn't be able to see me until Tuesday or even later. That give me more of a reason not to make that call

[CATUF]

Nice job, PlowBoy. The three most helpful things that helped me get another 30 after my first 30 were:

1) Learning to say "please help me" in the morning and "thank you" at night to my Higher Power after I stayed clean and sober that day;

2) Putting my focus and energy on TODAY. I can only not use and not drink TODAY, and TODAY is all that counts. It doesn't matter that I "always" relapsed before i hit 60 days, or that I "probably" would go down in a few days or next week or the week after. ALL that mattered was that i was not going to drink or use TODAY, and if I did THAT, I was doing EVERYTHING that Recovery demanded of me. Just coming to believing (and doing) that made a huge difference because all of a sudden instead of being a FAILURE waiting to happen (again) i was a SUCCESS. I liked being a success (for a change) and wanted to keep being a success.

3)  Learning about PAWS and being prepared for the regular basis with which it hit me the first 18 months or so. Before, PAWS felt like hitting a brick wall and left me feeling "certain" that I had only fooled myself into thinking I could stay clean and that i was doomed to use or feel empty forever. A good article on PAWS can be found at
http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm

CATUF
3740

[gnarly_1]

Hey Dude congrats on 30 days  time to get to a meeting and pick up your keytag  30 days is the first mile stone  keep doing what doing and like sara said do what ever it takes to stay clean..........Gnarly

[PlowBoy36420]

To bad I'm impatient lol
I wish recovery was faster ;-)

[VICourageous]

Congrats on the Big 30..You wear Recovery well. It will only get better as long as you keep working at it! You are doing a wonderful Job so far..

Bless
Vickie