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Avatar universal

Day 37 for me. Well kinda. lol

Ok, I won't go into the whole boring spew about my addiction. Just know that I spent countless hours in the ER, trolling craigslist, and buying Vicodin and Percocet off the streets for 5 yrs straight. Not one day went by that I didn't use at least 8-10 pills a day. So fast foward to 36 days ago. I had enough. I wasn't quitting for anyone but myself. Luckily I had 12 2 mg Suboxones that I was prescribed a year before but never went through with the treatment. The week before I started I tapered with some 5/500 vicodins. I was so worried about the Tylenol that I only took 3 a day so I was already going through a mild withdrawl. So  I cut my 12 Suboxones into 4's and decided it was time to "DO IT". For 30 days I tool 0.5 mg's of Suboxone. Huge difference then the 8mg to start my Dr. had instructed me to do. (Way too strong of a dose). After the 30 days which ended last week I transitioned to nothing. The Suboxone had a withdrawl factor as well even with the low dose I was taking. Nothing compared to the cold turkey WD of the past but I felt it. So 30 days on a low mg Suboxone treatment and now 7 days of NOTHING. In the past 7 days of cold turkey and I would still be in bed like a baby. This past weekend I took my kids to a theme park, went walking in the mall with the wife, and then spent Sunday outdoors at a street fair. I NEVER would have thought I could come this far. I LIVED for pills and did what it took to get them. Change your phone # and stop dealing with people you used to. YOU HAVE TO. I'm still SO new to this and I could relapse anytime now but I don't even crave them anymore. Plus I hear my dealers have been looking for me because I spent so much money with those douche bags that I get more pride out of knowing that they will never get another penny from me again. Who knows tomorrow may be different but as of today I don't WANT or NEED opiates. My mind is getting clearer by the day. I have only woke up one night with arm pain since this has all started. If I can do it ANYONE can. Good luck. We don't need this **** in our lives. And life is NOT as boring as you think it will be without pills. I've actually enjoyed myself more when I went out. Please just try.
23 Responses
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Avatar universal
WOW Congrats on getting clean!  Way to go... Your positive attitude is great and will help you to stay on track.  Best of luck!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yes, the attitude is #1 in dealing with staying clean,  it's great to hear!  Stay with the mind-set you have now and  keep on going!!!
Best wishers

Ella
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Avatar universal
This was a great post to read and I am happy to hear about your success. Its so true about when its finally time to DO IT, nothing will stand in our way. Just remember to keep your guard up, because we all have weak moments, but with continued support, it becomes easier. Congrats on those 37 days and all the good things to come. One day at a time, your doing great!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You know how nice it is to go somewhere without worring about having enough pills to bring? Or having to hide them since you don't have a prescription for them? It's AWESOME and so rewarding.  If anyone needs to talk please send me a message on here. I'm not a preacher and all I can tell you is what has worked for me but I was the worst pill head. So I know what you're going through.
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Avatar universal
I agree, What a great post to read....Take it one day at a time..Even if one day seems bad, keep going, your attitude, and motivation will get you through this....
Isnt it great to not have to worry about how many you have to do or go anywhere???  It will just keep getting better!!  god bless, and Good luck
r2r
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401095 tn?1351391770
sounds like u had a plan..and sounds like u r trying to move forward...i think u r doing great...keep on keeping on!

I found this site over a yr ago when i was in ur shoes..and isnt it great!  u dont have to worry bout ur addiction..about being a leper//an outcast//probably why so many post here...it is a comfort after being in isolation/in hiding/ for so so long..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am so proud of you...............and so jealous!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Another day. Feeling better day after day. I'm beggining to ask myself "why were you so addicted to those things"? I thought i'd miss the itch, that was my favorite. But I don't.  Even a guy at work who I used to share pills with has been asking me when I'm gonna get back on them. The addiction devil coming at me from all angles. I'm not budging. Went out to dinner last night, washed my car, and played with my Pitbull. Not bragging just want people to know that YOU can stop and lead a normal life. The beggining is REAL hard not just a little REALLY hard. BUT! If you put your mind to it you can put this monster to rest. Just hoping that it doesn't get me again but I have a very understanding wife that tells me how proud she is of me each day. My life was consumed with opitates before to the point where I used to give her some and get an attitude if she didn't take them with me. Pure scumbag evil ****. My emotions are coming back too. I was like a robot before always pill'd up and angry. I thought they were supposed to make us "feel good"? Anyway I think whoever reads this and is having issues still should just take half of what they usually take today and see how they feel. Then maybe tomorrow a little less. You'll be suprised. I didnt need have the pills I took. My mind just told me I did. TRY IT PLEASE!
Helpful - 0
910476 tn?1245881549
Whoa, this was really inspiring.  It's nice to hear that someone is doing so well after just a month.  Congrats to you:)  It's nice to hear that someone has gone through the whole knocking the monkey on the back and they aren't still laying in bed after a month.  I unlike you don't have the whole suboxone treatment to use, but am determined none the less, I have most of the stuff in the "thomas recipe" and hope that it alleviates at least some of the withdrawl.  Wish me luck I'm off and running starting now.  What  a Memorial Day Weekend , right?? :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know it's waaaaaaaaay harder without the Sub and I HATE that's it's so difficult and expensive to get. I failed many times before I used the Sub. and who knows I may again in the future but as of today I don't plan on it. Some long weekend huh? I used to live for these holidays where I could get so doped up and "have a good time". If you have a job this weekend would be perfect to get over the first few days of hell. Also anyone with KAISER insurance should be able to get some Sub for under $50. It was really simple for me. I just called and went to an outpatient rehab and had my script in 30 mins. And of course I  never went back to the classes or any of that just got the Sub and the mentality that I had it as back up and I could use as long as I wanted. I have Blue Cross and Blue Sheild now and when I called because I thought I needed more Sub to live they wouldnt accept it only cash. $190 first visit with $300 for the script then $90 each additional visit and $300 for the script everytime. I live in Los Angeles by the way so I know it's easier to get out here. So for anyone with Kaiser look into Suboxone. It worked for me so far. Just don't take as much as they tell you to. It's too much unless you're into heroin or hardcore Oxy use. I hate to sound like a weird but I'm on a mission to give a pep talk to any fellow pill poppers to let them know it can be done. I was the worst addict!!!!!!!! YOU CAN DO IT! It's so rewarding to be off those things. It really is.
Helpful - 0
912729 tn?1244665718
i was thinking i am the worst pill head in the world tomo will be my first day,i have one sub dont know what that will do prolong the inevedable i suppose,i wish i knew a wallk in rehad but i live in ga an there are no resources here,i been to detox twice i cant deal with withdraws i wont,the hunt will be on i have major back issues plus im a slave to this drug so june 11 i have my doc appt i neeed to be chained to the bed 56 80.s an 84 thirtys will be waiting on me,but the hell im gonna go through till then.i would never say im done with pills im in agony from my back an neck,even befour i was addicted all i did was cry and the beautiful day came an i took that lil grey pill my life was given back to me i felt a year later..i dont even remember really.its so sad but i got way more issues now than just the pain.i dont want to hurt...but i dont want to be a addict anymore i used to be so beautiful an sunshiny i was a waitress everyones fav,a mommy that never missed a day a sprecial day in school.i will be so blessed to be one day say to someone  YOU CAN DO IT!! anyways im glad your free i hope i can do this
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Avatar universal
Wendy Wendy Wendy. My heart aches for you. I have been there. And just left there not too long ago. You do what you have to and one day things will be different. All you can do is cut down little by little. You can't quit if you do not have a plan. And none of us have a "plan fairy" that just hooks us up. It will come. And when it does you will be ready and it will all be over. Just live day by day and if you feeling good off 3 pills just chill for  a while before popping a couple more. Next thing you know the day will be over and you will have taken less than the previous day. Regarding the 1 Sub you have. If it's a 2 mg I promise you that will get you through 3 days of the worst withdrawl if you break it in 4's. If it's a bigger Sub then even longer. Think about it. I PROMISE is you take just .05 mg of Sub for 3 days you will get by and then it will be ALOT easier.
Helpful - 0
912729 tn?1244665718
im not sure what it is its peeach hex shape,an thanks for your words of things can get better i been clean 40 days once but i was misrebal honestly i may order this herb krantom king im searching lol says it helps
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
kratom is pretty good actually, but it can be habit forming as well so I don't suggest it.  I may get flamed for this, but green really helped me through.

I recommend Valerian root for sleep, it really helped me.  I'm in Day 5 of a taper and I think the worst is over.  I went fast to get it over with.  80mg down to 7.5mg yesterday.  I actually feel pretty good today and I have only taken 3.25mg today so I'm going to try and keep it with that for the next 3 days before going clean completely.  Take your vitamins, drink water, it has really helped me the past 5 days.
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Avatar universal
oh yeah, im in GA too, so I know how it *****.  There are no treatment centers here and only like 2 subox docs that won't be paid by my insurance so there is no option there.  methadone clinic is not an option, I am a working professional in a hospital so I can't have that stigma, nor do I want that monkey on my back....I hate methadone.  Good luck.  Set yourself a goal to only take a pill when you REALLY start feeling bad, that's what I did.  Stick it out, hour by hour and it will happen.  I went down MUCH faster than I ever thought was possible. Sure, it's sucked so far and will continue, but I'm not dead and I have been taking care of my daughter and working just fine.  Tired, but making it.  Good luck.
Helpful - 0
906267 tn?1244743451
Hey guys...Great job by the way.
I am no day 12 sober from oxy's.  Still feeling pretty depressed, but every day seems to get alittle easier.  Did it take you this full month to feel a little normal?  I am really pushing myself to get out of this haze im in.  But i have to realize this is a new life.  I havent been sober in 4 years.  Its just really hard sometimes.
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Avatar universal
It's day 41 for me. 11 with no Sub and I feel back to my old self. I even volunteered to be at a pinic area @ 4am so we can get a spot. I wouldn't have done that even on pills. lol Keep going! It gets easier.
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Avatar universal
I have officially sneezed over 1000 times since I have stopped. haha
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Avatar universal
Day 52. Still going strong. Keep your head up folks. When it's your time, you'll be ready. Out of 52 days I had ONE night of tossing and turning. You can do it!
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Avatar universal
What a fantastic post to read, good for you. I am so pleased for you (and how i wish I could be where you are!). It sounds like your attitude was exactly what it needed to be. Out of curiosity, are you taking up any aftercare? eg. seeing a counsellor, doing meetings, group etc, in order to help address the reasons why you became addicted in the first place, and in order to re-learn how to mange stress/life without the pills?

I am so proud of you, you have done great!!! I'm glad you posted, I will hang on to your example when my time comes :-)

groundhog
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Avatar universal
just to let you know, suboxone is strong as hell, the withdrawals from it can be tough too
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you for this post. I am stopping as of tomorrow morning when I wake up. I have about 7mg of suboxone that I am going to try and draw out for as long as possible and maybe buy another from a friend if necessary. It is nice to hear motivating stories like these. 36 days is awesome...30 days more than hte longest I have ever gone haha. Thanks and congrats
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Avatar universal
Day 103. NEVER thought I would have come this far. I think it's all over. I hope. I have more energy than ever and have done things that I never thought I could without pills. I don't even think about them anymore or crave them. I'm just really thankful that I have been blessed to come this far. If I can do it ANYONE can do it, that's all I can say. If anyone needs ANY words or encouragement or advice do not hesistate to send me a private message. Good luck!
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