Dear God, Why is this got to be soooo hard???

[concerned743]

Ive tried to quit percocets soooooo many times.  I keep failing.  I am a basketcase, and a hot mess right now.  I am confused, and so many things have happened that Im at the end of my rope. 4 yrs ago I had major shoulder surgery, and they also had to grind down some bone, due to bone spurrs on shoulder.  Since then, as alot of our stories yes.....I have been on percocet and soma.  Life is hard enough by itself.  With all lifes natural trials, and incidents, I started to self medicate.  I have quit cold turkey so many times, but due to my shoulder pain, end right back on them.  Then I didnt made myself sicker, by mixing the pain meds, with ibuprofen (prescribed), and all the vitamins, and natural herb things to help me with withdrawal.  Then not being able to sleep, taking ambien at nite, and during the day taking xanax.  Lord !! all that stuff is a deadly combo.  Then the doctor tells me, that I might be a lil bipolar, because I have came to him in tears a few times, and gives me more meds, that I did not take, because Im all over the place with meds, for everything, and I just dont believe that I am bipolar.  I believe that if I stop all this stuff, I will be fine.  I did stop last year for almost a year, and was wonderful.  Now I just cant seem to find my way back there.  I dont know where to begin almost.  Then without thinking about 2 wks ago, my daughter in law, left my home with my small grandchildren at 12 at nite, in the rain, and caught a blowout on the freeway home.  i went into rescue mode, and changed a tire in the rain.  OMG was that a huge mistake.  I ended up back at the hospital, 10days later where I was in soooo much pain, I thought I would die.  They gave me meds for acute pain, for 6 days, plus take the percs.  Yes it helped.  But now Im right back where I started.  It even seems even while Im taking the percs, and soma, I am still withdrawing somewhat.  I still have hot and cold flashes, the sweats, my anxiety is pretty high.  I just try to keep going, but trying to think when is the perfect time to just stop again.

Im not well at all.  Im fearful of the withdrawals.  Not even sure if it will work.  But knowing I want and need to quit this mess for good.  I feel like I wish I could just get admitted, and be sedated until the worst was over.  But realistically I know that is not possible.  I am running out of gas as far as being able to hold the strength to fight this thing.  I dont know what to do.  I pray alot.  I look a mess at this time, which as a women, just makes me feel worst.   OMG I could go on, and on, I guess I needed to tell somebody.  I feel like Im losing my grip here.  At this time, I dont have a specific question, but any positive response, or support would be greatly appreciated.  i will come back, soon as I can.  I cant hardly sit still long enough.  I have only had 2-3 hrs of sleep last nite.  I need help.

[stayingpositivetoo]

Have you read some of the other posts in the other threads about great ways to help with the withdrawals? Vitamins and hot baths and immodium and so forth? They truly do help.

Whatever you do, be kind to yourself. I posted this on a different thread, but I'll post it here for you:

Please, also, be kind to yourself. So many times we think we deserve to have the withdrawal symptoms because we've been "bad" for taking too many pills and this is our "punishment." It is not. The fact that you're trying so hard to become a better person by quitting this horrible addiction says that you should be treated with kindness and respect. And that kindness and respect must first come from yourself.

A long time ago, I heard the saying, "Whether you believe you can or believe you can't, you're right." And that is so true. If you tell yourself, "This is too hard. I can't do it." Guess what? You can't. But if instead you tell yourself, "I'll get through this. It will be okay. I can do it." Guess what? You'll get through it. You WILL be okay.

Please do not underestimate how important this is. Yes, all the hints and tips on hot baths and herbal remedies and over-the-counter meds and vitamins are great. I've used many of these tips and they've helped me immensely. But unless you have your head in the right place, you're working under a severe handicap. And getting your head in the right place is easy. You just have to monitor your thoughts.

If you hear yourself say, "I can't . . . " Say, "STOP! Yes, I can do this. Many people have done this before me, and yes, I can do it too."

If you hear yourself say, "This is too hard . . ." Say "STOP! Yes, it is hard, but I'm a tough gal (or guy) and I can handle it."

When I'd feel fidgety and like I just might go out of my mind, I'd rub my arms and say, "You're going to be okay. This is only temporary, and you're going to be just fine. You can do this."

When I'd be in pain and it wasn't yet time for my next dose (I put myself on a strict schedule), I'd say, "Okay, Sweetie (always call yourself kind names), let's stay busy. You're going to be okay, and in 45 minutes (or whatever the time) you can have your dose. Just stay the course. You're going to be fine."  

I was worried about going into convulsions or dying from withdrawal. I did some research, and guess what? ALTHOUGH THIS WITHDRAWAL IS PAINFUL, IT IS NOT, ACCORDING TO WEB-MD, WIKIPEDIA, AND MEDHELP, LIFE-THREATENING. (unless you choke on your vomit or fail to re-hydrate).

Now, be kind to yourself. You can do this.

[daysoffourlives]

Hey Deary, am feeling your pain and sorrow, how I wished I could lift up your burden for you if I could..  this is a very tough process, but look as you said, you were cleaned almost a year on the last year, which proven very obviously. You can do it, I am sure this time round with plenty of nice people here giving you constant support and encouragement, it shall pass real real soon yea?

Another thing I wanna compliment about you is, you actually knows a lot from your own to make yourself feel better like self meditate this is a wise choice to lessen your anxiety, really!

Alright, I think it will be an ideal to put and tell yourself that you need to get out from this nasty addiction, for the sake of your loves one but in general it more for your health and well being, having longer time outdoor without thinking about your withdrawal is coming soon, and you either go home quick or pop a pill that you carrying along with. Wow, that's ****** feeling is a real suck isn't it,,  I truly can put myself in your shoes because I am the same like you but mine is not a prescription,.

I believe you do know,  this is not just about cold Turkey, after process is more important, referring to after care, yes, it's a really really important. Issue that you should look into it. But shall go step by step yeah?

Firstly tell yourself, a few days of sick bad flu and whenever you feel you can't take it already please tell yourself, this will goes away, very soon,  console yourself that it will be the most 5days of bad bad flu... don't focus your mind that it withdrawal, just keep telling yourself you're sick sick sick, it will help, trust me, our mind is very tricky when opiate is not around. Demons and devil will start to cover angels.. so, please, it will goes away,

After which, engaged in after care, try to keep yourself as busy as possible

Don't waste time thinking already, you may start the process ASAP lol

I wish you all the best, if you need to talk pm me I will be there, lot of love

Sending a prayer to boost your confident in getting over this ****** stuff yea!!!


Cherie

[concerned743]

Thankyou for responding.  Well, I guess I can say Im on the rode to try to quitting again.  I have not taken any percs or soma since yesterday early evening, almost been 24hrs.  Just as soon as I am able I believe I am going to try something different, Ill probly at least go to some meetings or find a therapist, or counselor.  Gotta try something different to stay off the pills. Especially once I get thru the worst of this.  I already know, its coming, but doing alot of praying, and trying to get closer to jesus, I know he will deliver me from this.  He has done it before.  Im trying again.  God Bless.  Yeah, I have only had about 4 hrs of broken sleep in 2 days!  I now have the sweats, then hands and feet cold, Im hot, its outta control, had headache while I lay woke staring at the t.v. Hope it doesnt get much worst.  Im soooooo tired.  My appetite is not so good, but Im making myself eat a lil soup, crackers, bananas, drinking ensure, lot s of water.  I guess Im trying.  I dont want to keep thinking about it, just deal, and be about it.

[stayingpositivetoo]

My heart aches for you. You're right--life is tough enough without pain and withdrawal on top of it. Like Fireby29, my pain is less when I'm OFF the pain pills. I swear they make you hurt more just so you'll take more just so you'll keep the big drug companies in business. There are many other ways to take the edge of the pain. I've tried acupuncture, reiki, hot baths, bowenwork therapy, massage, yoga, and prayer. ALL of these help, sometimes quite dramatically. You've got to keep an open mind and try these alternatives.

Hang in there, my friend, and let us know how you're doing.

[Fireby29]

Hey, hang in there.  I promise that every day and every minute you are healing yourself.  I have had my shoulder done, in addition to some other stuff, and I hurt everyday.  But now that I am clear for a pretty solid stretch off any meds other then aleve, I can tell you that my pain is SO much less then it was on the narcs.

Withdrawals are like the bad flu, it will not kill you, it just stinks for awhile.  Sleep will come, just try to relax, watch some movies, take your mind of off it.  Remember the Thomas recipe at the lower right of the page.  Keep posting.

Bryan