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Addiction: Substance Abuse Community
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Avatar universal

Death, Depression etc...............

I need help today, I found out yesterday that my uncle died, now thats not a huge issue however, once again it brings up bad memories of losing a good friend and this morning when I woke up I was miserable, I ached everywhere and I couldn't get out of bed. I was late for work and I have to go to a wake tonight, I can't handle this right now, I feel like I have become an intravert in the last 24 hours, I don't want anything to do with anyone, i just want to forget about everything including my life and just sleep. I don't know what I will do in the next two days, but I'm very upset and more scared then anything........

GWH
114 Responses
Avatar universal
i'm very sorry about your uncle, but please do not let this destroy all the hard work you've done.  you will get thru this...just keep posting - go to a meeting if you are feeling desperate.  you know that this is the hard part - you've been right here before.  there are going to be many obstacles to overcome in the future, but you can't let them drag you down.  you'll be able to handle them even better, because you will be stronger and be thinking clearly.

go to the gym or whatever you need to do to take your mind off feeling depressed...you can do this - keep telling yourself that.

p.s. how come you got to start a new thread - i can NEVER do it.
Avatar universal
thanks for the comment, I needed to hear from someone.  I don't know how I got to post, I guess it was a sign...........I can never post a new question!! i get so irritated.  Anyway, I'm doing a little better, I think I need to get out of here sometime soon though, I need to be by myself, and away from work, you know?
Avatar universal
Hey dude, plese hang on today...

I too know the pain of loosing loved ones.  I am only 24 and have buried 3 friends my age.  

This is a trying time for you.  It is Gods little test for you, he throws this on you, which is too much to bear, and wants to see if you crack right now.  Don't give in to the Dope no matter what, it will take away the pain for 4 hours, then you will have to deal with all this later.

Time by yourself is important right now.  When my best friend died 8 years ago, I didn't see daylight for a week.  All I did was lay in bed, crying occasionally.  It is a sort of spriritual cleansing that must happen.  You have every excuse to feel the way you do.

I know that being without drugs so early after you last detox, you must have a hell of a depression right now, and this on top of it is no better, but it is a test, and I believe you will make it through with flying colors.  Please don't use GWH, I don't want you to be in pain again, not for this, not for a pill.  

I suck at condolences, but please hang on, at least for today.  Life looks like **** now, but will be much better once you pass this, because you will be able to look back and see how strong you were.  That may be enough to keep you clean for life...

Post often, today you will need it, or if you want become a recluse for a week, just please don't go for the easy-out.
Avatar universal
i think being alone won't be good for you right now...it's been my experience that i tend to wallow and become more depressed being alone..it's a delicate time in your recovery, and it would probably be good to surround yourself with people - also, it makes it more difficult to slip up.

a few months ago, my husband went skiing and our daughter stayed at my mother's house for a couple nights.  i was completely alone and had a big article to work on...i ended up relapsing, and convincing myself that there was no one else in the world right then, no one would know about it, etc etc.  it was the worst relapse i've ever had.  looking back, i really feel that had i been around family, i wouldn't have done it.

stay strong!!
Avatar universal
gwh, what you are feeling is all part of the recovery process. Highs and lows!!  Please don't give up now.  Maybe the friend you lost is looking over you and can help you get through this.  Make him proud.
Avatar universal
does anyone want to go to the chat room?
Avatar universal
never heard from you before, but believe it or not, that post just flipped a switch, actually it gave me the chills and goose bumps.  I lost this friend on 9/11 and I have thought about him day and night ever since, he was a college roommate and best friend, I can't even begin to speak about it, but he was killed because he was on the 104th floor helping others, he had the chance to leave, he even called his mother, but he wouldn't leave until everyone was out........ god bless him, and god bless you for reminding me of him because right now I think he could be a huge influence to me.  As a matter of fact, we used to smoke cigarettes together all the time, but then 4 months before graduation he decided to stop, I have no idea how he did, but he did it............ Thank you for the thought

GWH
Avatar universal
I will
Avatar universal
the page won't load..............
Avatar universal
bummer - i'm in there right now.
Avatar universal
I am glad to help.  The people on this board have helped me tremendously!  What a tragic loss for you.  Sounds like your friend was a wonderful person.  I bet you are glad to have known him.  I don't post to often on this board but I do read it often.  Actually it is this board that has inspired me to stopped taking vicodens.  I have taken one a night for several years now.  I know one pill a day may not seem like a big deal to some but I no longer needed it for the knee pain that it was originally prescribed for.  I just took it because it gave me energy and made me feel good.  Although I knew it was wrong I really just looked forward to it.  Hopefully, those days are behind me.  Thank you for listening.

Take care.
Avatar universal
This post and forum has been absoulty amazing. I had tears in my eyes reading it. GOD BLESS you GWH. I can't say anything,it was already stated, I can only agree. Things aren't what they appear and I could write a story about GOD'S hurdles. I think HE is smiling on me now because I passed the TESTS. It's a true feeling I've felt. Can't explain it. You'll feel it too. One foot in front of the other. SB
Avatar universal

nean the wourld to me//////////////////





















Avatar universal
gwh:
i've discovered that when i'm having a bad day, the sooner i ad-
mit i'm having a bad day, the sooner it seems to be over with.
it isn't fair! getting clean should exempt us from ever having a
bad day.... too bad it doesn't work out that way!

i'm just sick in my heart every time i hear about your friend...
there are so many reasions you have to go pick up again, you
just don't need this too!

so don't pick up today! accept the fact your having a bad day and
leave it at that! put off the dope a day (it will always be out
there)!

i've found that some days the best a junky can do is to put their
head down and move forward no matter what. if i had my way, you
wouldn't have to do this...but reality is usually different than
the way i would have things so...

keep an angel on your shoulder and keep posting!
kip
Avatar universal
I was hooked on onxcocet for about for months and taking about 50 mg a day. less in the start and more at the end.  I stopped for three weeks but my friends are all hooked and I started agian for about a month. Im dreading the withdrawal  but also every day i wake up and think about them. how do I stop this constent thinking and get on with my life. im only 21 plase any one with info would be great.
Avatar universal
Hi ewvery one. Im new this system but would relly, please really like some help or some one to talk to. I just posted a message but i would like to paint you a picture (quick one) of who i am. I just graduated with honours for my local university and am anttending teachers collage in the fall.I am only 21. I took oxycocet 5mg taps for four months every day less at the start and more at the end any where from 5 to 15 pills a day. unlike my friends who would buy 15 and only take 2 at a time all dayk, I took all 15 at once to get that "rush" you know what I mean. I stopped cold turkey one day when I told my girlfriend what was going one and the withdrawal wad horabble. but 3 weeks to a month later I was using agin. first in small doeses only 5 (5mg tabs a day) then before i new it it was 20 or so a day. once my dealer got 20mg tabs and i took 160 + mg in one day and not much better the next two. I have hit rock bottom, and must stopped because im out of money and also because I HAVE TO. I'm only 21 and have a loving family and girlfriend who would die if they new i was using again. today was my last day (I pray) took about 50mg worth and will stop cold turkey aging since i dont have the control to ween off them. you people are the first people I have been about to take to and just telling you makes me feel somewhat better, I dont know why. I have my whole life in front of me and i jsut pray its not to late to fix things up. I cannot go into rehab, to many complications in a town my size. but I did it once on my own i figure I can do it again. I would jsut like to know if there are other people in my situation that could give my any advice both positve or even negative if it is constructive to the situation. Please, I dont really have any one to talk to so this is my last chance. Ive been using againg every day for about 3 weeks about about 2 to 4 times a week for 2 weeks before that.its been 12 hours since my last dose so i know the bad stuff is comming, its the restlessness and aggitation i have trouble dealing with. is there any thing i can take?  it has only been the last 3 weeks that have been really bad. pleas help. Thank YOu and God Bless
Avatar universal
I promise, last post guys but it's 4 in the moring my time and i cannot sleep, a common side effect for me. "gwh, or Ghw" im hot sure i'm  getting it right but your post seem to be well advise and you present an educated backgoung on the subject. I dont want to come across "pushy" like i said this is my first time using this program and im not completly aware of the "rules" or how thing work. againg any help would be greatly appricated.
Thank You
Fraser (of course not my real name but i thought i would do)!!
Avatar universal
hi there - i saw your barrage of posts, and i really feel for you.  it sounds like you haven't been on this stuff for too long, but it is still isn't going to be a walk in the park.  you have to be able to drag through the physical withdrawal, and it can be very uncomfortable, to say the least...runny nose, the runs, chills, leg spasms, nausea...etc.  that part should only last a few days, then comes the hardest part...fighting the cravings, feeling tired and sometimes depressed.  if it was easy, none of us would be here.  it's a hard thing to do alone, and it's even harder when you are surrounded by people that are using.  i'm not in that situation.  i don't know anyone who is using, so that part was easy for me.  it will be hard for you to stay away from these people, but it may be too much of a temptation for you.  i take it your g.f. doesn't use?  can you get yourself to an na or aa meeting?  some people swear by these meetings.  do a search on this board for thomas' recipe - it's a number of vitamins and amino acids, which really help with the withdrawal process.  hang in there...post when you feel like it, as often as you feel - if no one answers right away, don't get discouraged:)
Avatar universal
good job!!!!!  i was worried about you...and, i'm worried about schlub.  we've been kind of keeping track of each other's progress with the buprenex taper, and i haven't heard from him in days...has anyone?

want to try the chat room again?
Avatar universal
I'm sorry groovy, but everytime I try to enter the chat, my computer freezes!!!! I would if I could........so how are you doing today, fill me in.

I haven't heard anything from schlub, I haven't seen him post either. I hope he is doing ok.

I just wanted to thank you for your support, you have been a huge help and I really do appreciate it. thank you so much
Avatar universal
you wouldn't be normal if you didn't act that way when going on a trip.haha.  So you going anywhere fun?? I"m heading up your way tonight, actually only to wakefield, your a little further down. Anyway, I'm sure you will have fun on your little trip, will you be anywhere near a computer?
Avatar universal
we're going to disney world, so i'm sure we'll have fun and be busy! i am NOT planning on bringing a computer...i think i need a break from it - not this forum, but just staring at this thing in general. i will really, really miss you guys tho.
Avatar universal
Well, I have to say, I was stunned at 200 perks aday, but that is because I gag when taking pills, so the thought of having to swallow all those, ughhh.  I certainly have taken high doses, just not in the same way. Anyway, as good ole skipper would say, "there is always room for one more junky, we welcome you with open arms" In anycase, don't think negatively, you can do this, YOU WILL DO THIS, just stay positive, and don't worry, everyone falls, the trick is to fall forward...........We are here for you.

GWH
Avatar universal
groovy I too tried the chat room. No go just a blank screen.
Tom
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