Did you ever use "at" someone?

[GA Guy]

In my aftercare meetings lately I've heard a phrase that really hits home for me. It's the idea of "using at someone". I was really good at this. If my wife made me mad, I used "at" her. Same with my job, family, and friends. Every time an unwanted feeling came up, I used "at" that feeling to make it go away. These revelations are the reason why aftercare is so important to me. Does this concept make as much sense to everyone else as it did to me? I'd love to hear some thoughts...

[sway1]

i called it my "i'll show you, i'll f%$k me!". i used AT people all the time. oh how sick this disease is!
  i had to stay home last night with a migraine. all i could think avout was how badly i wished i was at my NA meeting. i am feeling much better today. my son who is 14 and the youngest has been seeming kinda down lately. feeling left out. so i'm taking him with me to a meeting tonight. he skateboards, and the neighborhood is very smoothe. i told him he can come in if he wants. i think he envies the fact that people can get together to discuss how messed up life can be. teenage boys anonymous. that's what they need. i know when i was that age, i felt like there was something wrong with me and that everyone else knew what it was but me. it's a 35 minute drive to my meeting, so we'll have that much time both ways for perhaps some quality mom & son chat. peace, sway

[jamajessie]

That;s one thing I love about going to group meetings. I've learned so many new phrases.You get so much information and you feel important and everyone has been through so many different experiences but we are all the same we are addicts. It makes you feel so not alone and you know your not the only one going through this. This community here helps a lot to, but there is nothing like going to real physical meetings and being face to face with others that suffer the same addiction as you.

If there is anyone that is not going to meetings, you should go. It makes a world of  positive difference in your recovery.

[narla]

Yep same here,it was always someone elses fault that I drank and used codeine,it helped me forget or not dwell on my childhood.What a cop out,now I've proved I can survive without my crutch

[dominosarah]

I "used at" someone or something my whole time.  Didnt matter what it was.  I hated any type of feelings......Some are still uncomfortable but now i know that i dont have to "use at" what is in front of me.  Did that make sense??!!

[quitinoxys]

Oh believe me I am finding through my w/d process how much pain I can tolerate. Its terrible but a huge life lesson and I will NEVER take another narc again.

[avisg]

You mean like someone did someone did something to me so that's why I used ? I used it all of of the time my using was never my fault something bad happened in my life I used .Something good happened I used .I was in pain that wasn't my fault so I used.I have learned how much pain one can tolerate without using now .howeve rthere are times especially with surgery they are needed but there were so many other times I used it as an excuse  .I had to become accountable for myself if I at any point use that's on my and nobody else .

[quitinoxys]

I have never heard the term but I can understand it. Its sounds like it one of your triggers for use. My trigger is pain so I know what you mean.