thats a great plan...enjoy your night, and post back soon...
and congrats on not making the call...thank you...
i'm glad to hear that. did you read my post to you below?
i hope you have a good night. if you have yahoo and want to IM my ID is the same tink1517
your doing a great job in a very tough situation. give yuorself a pat on the back girl :)
It is two hours later...I feel quite grown up and mature at the moment. Cut the dogs hair, toenails, (she is a german sheperd...not much of a haircut. don't want you to believe she is a poodle or something) brushed the dog and cats. Vacuumed up a shitload of hair because I decided to do it on the kitchen floor. Going outside is not an option, it is just too cold and snowy.
I imagagine tonight...I imagine, what would it be like to feel like this all the time...this fragment of warmth and light I feel. This power...this dream of filling my time with productive activity THAT I LOVE...not even talking about work, but hobbies, hair (lots of bleach beach), shopping, free to travel, community work, working with children and families and neighbors...THOSE THINGS COULD BE EVERYDAY choices in our lives!! No thoughts of pills and dates, and bottles, and "friends"calling. Planning day after week after month around refill dates. It would be so much easier and more fun. Just a feeting thought through my head tonight.
Didn't last long, ya if they were here, I'd down em. But the stars have aligned for me to be right here, right now, tonight, struggling for that freedom. And doing a pretty dam good job of it so far!
man i wish we had some snow...could you pass some along to me...we didnt even have an inch this year...i would love to sit on my deck and see everything lit by the moon...so pure and so beautiful...
whats your dogs name, and how old?...i have a yappy chihuahua, named kasey after nascars kasey kahne...yap, yap,yap,yap,yap...all day...lol...
im glad you found something to occupy your mind...im still thinking of you...
love ya, natasha
Glad your back. Summer's 14 this year. She is my baby.
Ya it felt good to do something. Wierd how my emotions change minute by minute. I swear to God I was going to connect today. I can't believe it didn't happen. But now that it hasn't, and won't tonight, I feel a sense of relief. And like I said, the guilt is down. I think I am going to have to celebrate everything I do sober now...just have a freakin party every time i do something on my own...that means ON MY OWN> JUST LITTLE OL ME IN THIS HEAD SOMEWHERE! It is too great to imagine right now. It could be soooo fun and different.
Do you find yourself ever laughing your ass off about something...in my case not that particularly funny...but I feel like laughing again, and mostly laugh at myself. Better than crying I suppose..especially when i am alone like this. I go stir crazy some days. Maybe when the big d is over I can get back to some social life.
Hey its great to know your making a terrific choice creek.
It takes courage, and you've got it brother.
We can choose each day who or what we'll end up serving.
You have access to power through your choices, and faith.
When I'm weak, that's when God inside me can be strong.
Hold on. Hold on, baby. You can do it.
Laughter is a strong medicine that's good for a soul.
Some times through this that is how I encourage myself...through finding a train wreck in my mind...laughter.
Your doing great.