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582172 tn?1225374062

Does Quantity/Length of Use really matter?

Hello Everybody

This is my first post in almost a year. . .and even though I feel so good that this Forum is here (it certainly saved my butt last year), I hate that I am back to square one. . .I remember my first post, back in August 2007, as if it were only yesterday and never dreamed I'd be back to counting days again, just like I count pills I guess. . .always counting!

My DOC's are Hydrocodeine and Percocet.  I had my first baby back in March and two weeks after she was born, I was back on the hunt for pills - the cravings were stronger than I'd ever experienced before and it was almost like being pregnant was the only reason for my being clean in the first place!!  I began very slowly but like everything else with this addiction, it sneaks upon you and takes you in it's evil grasp:  cunning; baffling; powerful that it is!!  Needless to say, my weekend use quickly progressed to a daily intake.  The difference this time around is that I was only able to get 5mg of the Hydros and was having to make 45 last me a whole week!  Percocets were given to me by a friend (and I call them that very loosely)!!  So bascially, I have been taking about 8 pills a day for about two months ~ when I came off them last year, my useage was almost four times that amount and I was also on the pills for almost three years, whereas this time it's just been a few months.

My experience of c/t withdrawal that last time was absolutely horrific and to me, was worse than child birth!!!!!  It lasted almost three weeks until the last of the physical symptoms went away and my sleep was the last thing to return to normal, after about six weeks or so!  I vowed I'd never put myself through this again. . .little did I know!

Does anybody know if a smaller dosage and less time using would, in fact, change the amount of time my body will take to get this nasty, evil stuff out of my system?  I cannot envisage feeling so dreadful and hopeless for another hour, let alone a couple of weeks plus some!!

Thanks to all of you who've made contact with me.  It seems like there are some truly fabulous folks out there.  Even though I didn't think I could ever say this "it's good to be posting again" :-)

With 'Hope', we all have a chance. . .

15 Responses
352798 tn?1399301754
Welcome back!  What happened to your last profile?

Length of use and amounts, both affect the withdrawals. Especially the amount. Each time we go through withdrawals, it is typically harder than the last. since you are using less, this will be in your favor. Since this is your 2nd time around, I have to ask what counseling will you be getting? Aftercare is so important as is nutrition, exercise, vitamins and supplements. Using changes your body's chemistry.
582172 tn?1225374062
I think I answered your first question already with my prior response!!

Well, thank goodness something's in my favor - I kinda figured that using less might be more beneficial insofar as the withdrawals being less severe but right now, it doesn't feel that way at all.  I am definitely experiencing full-blown opiate withdrawls and it ***** out loud!!!!

Counseling is the one thing I didn't seek out my first time around and was probably my downfall.  I was pregnant when I went c/t before and I think the pregnancy was what gave me the desire to quit and remain clean. . .the moment my daughter was born, I was back seeking those evil things before I could turn around. . .and here I am five months later.  I've attended Al Anon meetings for many years and may have to seriously considering jumping the fence and going to NA too. . .

I work-out rigourously and my diet is good and healthy (when I eat that is).  Vitamins and supplements are helping me a lot right now.  I am using a modified version of the Thomas Recipe (everything but the Benzo's that is).  It's not the quitting that worries me so much but the staying clean. . .thanks for bringing this to the forefront of my mind and remembering that forewarned is forearmed!!
352798 tn?1399301754
You can do it! This time around may be different. It is a learning curve.
The amino acid protocol in the Health Pages may help you (and others) too.
And you are so right. staying clean IS the hard part!
Avatar universal
Welcome back!!  I agree with GTMI...Using less should be in your favor, and the amount of time you were using....But of course everyone is different...
I also beleive that the mind is a very powerfull tool....
I do counsouling now, and i think that has saved me from relapsing...The women that i see, is in recovery herself, now for 10 yrs...SO she totally understands how we feel...
Also the forum helps a great deal...

Are you having to work while going through this???
My prayers are with you....
r2r
582172 tn?1225374062
I know this sounds awful strange but ever since I got on the Forum again this morning, I've felt a little more at ease with myself.  Yes, I am still hugely uncomfortable with the physical attributes of withdrawal but the emotional/mental onces seem to have left me for a moment, or maybe this is just the distraction I was searching for?  

I couldn't agree more with you about the mind being such a useful tool.  That's exactly how I ended up putting down the bottle on Monday.  I had one heck of a huge almighty argument with myself and did a mental check on pros and cons of using:  of course, there were way too many cons and absolutely no pros (other than the high of course).  My mind kept telling me that despite how bad w/d's are, I could do this because I am strong and because deep down inside, I crave a sober life.  I want to be a wife to my husband and more than anything else, I want to be a Mommy to my precious baby girl.  I want normal things like to love, to feel, to smile, to laugh and to appreciate every blessing I've been given, time and time and time again!!

I plan on sticking around the Forum girl and yes, I am having to work which makes this even harder.  Thank you for your prayers too. . .I need them so desperately as I embark on this journey of a lifetime (yet again).

Thanks hun.
Avatar universal
Hi lawyer,the bottom line in my opinion is we are using to recapture that elusive-feeling of eurphoria that those perks once provided.In my experience,once we become addicted that the end of the game for us.We may quite for months,even years but that the end never more can we relive that elusive feeling that thoses pills provided. Nonadays we use to fight-off the anziety of withdrawl-symtoms.Its time to face facts,its time as they say to put the plug in the jug.Theres better things in life than taking silly little pills.As you stated their cunning,baffleing, and very powerful. all the best john
518798 tn?1295215879
Hello Lawyerlady, you have a very important reason to get clean now and stay clean.  A six month old daughter.  I can look back and say this now because I missed so many important things in my kids lives when I was using the ambien and the hydros.  Even though the hydros gave me strength and made me feel invincible, I still was not 100% there.  I can look at photos of events in their lives and my eyes told the entire story.  It breaks my heart to know that there are memories I will never get back.

I am telling you this because you still have time to get your life on track and grow with your daughter.  She should be your driving force now.  Please keep coming here because this is the best group of friends you will ever find.

Susan
Avatar universal
Does this mean that we can't tell attorney jokes anymore?
544292 tn?1268886268
Eagle you're cracking me up!

:)
Em
Avatar universal
I agree that this forum is a great resource to have as it makes it a bit easier to deal with all. i have quit and started to use again and my pinion is it seems to get harder and harder to make it through withdrawals each time. This is just my experience and I hope it not to be this way for you. You are in my prayers.......
582172 tn?1225374062
Thank you guys - I appreciate everyone of your responses and yes Eagle, please feel free to tell lawyer jokes. . .we all need laughter and I am definitely one to laught at myself :-)  Today is Day 4 (still counting) and I am feeling OK.  Not good by a long stretch, but not quite as bad as yesterday.  I know, from experience, that this walk is all about progress and not perfection.

Again, thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the welcome and the support!!
218451 tn?1274998152
I agree, this site is very helpful. It is my NA I guess you could say.

Just be glad you were not on Suboxone or Methadone. They have month long w/d!
Avatar universal
welcome back to the forum, hope to see alot of you
sorry that you had to start over, i do not think it matter what you used or how long you used it, the main issue for me was how hard i was willing to stop all the stuff i was taking
so to me it matter more about what you want to do about your problem then what your problem acutally is
if that makes any sense
Avatar universal
i quit when i was pregnant also, a couple of days before i found out i was pregnant i had a script filled. i held onto that bottle tight, i would think, as soon as i have these babies (twins) i'm popping one of those pills!  and i did., two years later i'm trying to quit.  i owe it to my daughters to stop this ugly addiction.  don't be like me and wait 2 whole years to quit!!!  i cannot believe that amount of time has passed and i'm still using these stupid things.  i'm on day three, today has been rough to say the least but i'm pushing through.
best to you!
Avatar universal
Please help, day 5 off a large tramadol addiciton. 12 a day for about 3 years. When will this agony ease up??? HELP PLEASE
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