Ah, sweetie, it's hard. But you some women actually are on a low dose pain killer during pregnancy prescribed by their doctor. It is always best to be up front with your doctor but am sure you are a little afraid of this. I'm going to guess that your baby will be okay but what are you going to do to fight addiction once baby arrives? Being mama means you have to be fully present and I know its stressful so thinking about these things now may help you. Do you have any support? Do you go to any group meetings or anything? I think I'd talk to your doctor about the depression and anxiety. That happens on its own and hormones make it worse. And once you deliver, it can get even worse with postpartum symptoms. I want you and your baby to be safe!! We're here for you hon. Please keep talking to us!! hugs