I hate this!!!!!

[cyndie122]

I hate fighting with my husband to borrow his.....I hate feeling like a LOOSER.......i HATE HURTING THIS BAD.......I WOULD RATHER die THAN feel this way!!!!  I wish I could just end it!!! He dont understand that it feels like DEATH to just go c/t....he thinks its all in my head.....it's not!!!!  I hurt so bad I just want to go to sleep and never wake up!!!!
God help me thru this.....somebody help me thru this!!!!

[godezzofchaos]

Hey sweetie....unless you are an addict you don't understand. Many feel that it is in "OUR HEADS"....you can do it SISTER>>>YOU CAN!!!  YOU ARE NOT A LOSER, just a person with a disease, nothing more nothing less.  Many people have diseases, yours just happens to be a misunderstood one..hang on girl, you can get well!

[feelingcrazierbytheday]

We all COMPLETELY understand where you are coming from.  It is quite a journey and one most of us NEVER forget....I have to ask, Have you considered going cold turkey? I suppose tapering helps but I know for me I thought it was just delaying the process....But I don't know your situation so I'm sure you have your reasons.  I quit methadone cold turkey and the withdrawls lasted 3 months....i know girl....3 MONTHS of hell!!!!  And it took almost a year until I' was back and working out, running around, and not even taking ib profen unless absolutely necessary.....However Your physical withdrawls would last only about 7 - 10 days....Don't get me wrong...it is still tough....but i believe you could do it......if you got yourself some clonodine and maybe a few valium could you possibly bear through it the next week??  I'm rooting for you and here to talk if you'd like...I feel as though i''m re living this torture as I read your entries and I truly empathize with you.  BUT...it WILL pass....and it IS hard.  But remember that without suffering there would be no compassion....and maybe that' is why your husband is having a hard time understanding and being more forward in helping you.....anyway, whatever the case we're all here...keep us posted on the recent....hugs, J.

[marcatj]

hun, until you've tried everything to quit (support, meetings, therapy, etc.) PLEASE don't don't think there's not way out.

this is a victim mentality.

(not a judgement - we've all been there...)

but it's time to DO SOMETHING about it.  other than feel like you can never get out. because you can.  but you gotta do something...

many, many have quit before you.  you can too...

DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!!!

it's the only way...

[lonewolf07]

If it means anything coming from a total stranger and someone who isn't a substance abuser, I honestly do know how you feel.  I've been suicidal for years and emotional and spiritual pain is just as real and just as agonizing as what you're feeling.  Your feelings are appropriate - you do want to sleep but maybe you want to sleep until the pain stops, not your life.  I know you feel like a loser - but you aren't.  And you are more than an "addict".  You'll get through it even if you have to hang by your fingernails.  People who commit suicide rarely post messages announcing it.  I've tried it, told no one and suicide attempts are not fun.  That's when the pain just gets worse.  We're all hurting and you'll get a lot of support and help from this forum.  Hugs ....

[sunshine669]

I am so sorry you are going through such a hard time!! You cant give up!!!! So many days i feel like you do,but i keep in the back of my head,one day WILL be better.Whats got you so down?