Double kudos

[adexec181]

OK, after ditching $700.00 worth of pills yesterday in the Speedway garbage can that had just been delivered, so I wouldn't be tempted to just pop one and ruin 12 days of sobriety, I actually felt almost good this morning, actually showered, did my hair (evenflat-ironed it...haven't been able to do the make-up thing yet....eyes are too sore, red and watery) and went to the dentist which is the first appt of any kind I've actually kept in awhile.  Felt so good afterwards that I actually went to the car wash and got my long overdue car washed...then came home to yet another common "lull" in this never-ending WD process, and had those horrible wd symptoms again....leaving me feeling quite weak and sad that its allback again.   Then don't you just know that the FedEx guy shows up with another month's supply again (which I guess is now on a automatic reorder status because I didn't order from the US...I had ordered that big supply from India before I decided to come clean).  So in spite of feeling lousy and weak, just flushed this monthly supply without hesitating because I know I am going to weak tonight and it would just be too big a temptation to pop one pill when I couldn't sleep or hurt.
So have dumped almost 700 Tramadol pills of 100mg in the last two days...almost $1,000,00 worth....but nowhere near the value of feeling alive again.  War!!!!

[adexec181]

Thanks all, te support from you Gus is what keeps me going.  Guess you have to lose as much as I did and be at rock bottom to have this kind of commitment, but I have it in spades!  Know what  you mean about these pharmacies...sent them an email saying I do nt authorize them to charge my credit card and to stp shipment...but nothing back.  If they continue, I will call the credit card co and have this suspended if I can.

[Overwhelmed10]

That's amazing!!! You are an inspiration, that's for sure !!!

[hope4good]

Way to be strong! That is amazing!  You will be up and down with w/d for a while but as time goes on they will be less harsh and not as much.  I am just in awe of your strength.  You are truly a inspirations.  So happy for you.

[killerzoey]

well done!!! I received a shipment last week. The  order date was jan 24 and I quit on the 9th or 10th, so wtf? I already refused two shipments last month but this one I opened because I didn't think it could possibly be Tramadol. I sent a very curt email to the only contact info on the damn paperwork asking them by what authority they billed my credit card, demanding a reply. I never got one. I feel like I need to get to the bottom of this as they're seemingly billing me at will! I went through more than one online company and the name didn't match any if them. Not sure it ever did, though...I never looked.

I'm so glad to be done feeding their pocketbooks. Even if it costs a lot to do so, eh? Lol

[Missy1231984]

You are awesome!  I hope to have that will power soon.  

[FourJays]

Your strength is SO motivating! I don't know if I ever could have thrown all those pills away.  I would have reasoned it with myself somehow and been back down the relapse path.  Even now at 67 days it would be hard for me - I'd like to think I'd toss them . . . SO glad I have cut off all my sources!

I'm sorry you are still feeling crappy but it should get better very soon.  You will likely have up and down days for awhile, but the ups will take over in time.  Hang in there . . . you are doing GREAT!
Julie

[Arnouddegroot]

and since you are one day 12 it is very likely that w/d will lessen soon and being clean instead of high will become your nornal routine again!

[Arnouddegroot]

you amazing ************! I to trew away around 500euro worth of tramadol, and I can tell you it has been the best desiscion because aince it is not in the house i have been thinking less aboit the drug and its just way easier to cope with cravings because there is nothing you can do about it. btw im typing this on my phonr so sorry for my failinh grammar...

I know you will not relapse because you are one of those with strong willpower and a goal and