Your last post was very interesting. I've been circling methadone for a while now, but can't quite swallow the whole clinic system part.
I'm curious about what brings you here. I apologize if I missed your earlier posts, but do tell us again.
Chad, i haven't said it here before, but it really gets down to something quite simple.
I have two images burnt not only into my memory, but deep into my soul, and they are: 1.) My mother laying in the ER immediately after she died, with cotton batton on her eyes(to preserve them...as we donated her cornea to two successful transplant recipients). She had a pink fiberglass cast on her right wrist, with my daughter and neices freshly signed names standing out, in the black felt pen....exactly how they were put on two days previous. I remember holding her icey cold hands. And,
2.)My best buddy laying in the morgue(a couple months later) with 3 bullet holes in his head, and once again i remember how heavy, lifeless and cold his hands were as i held them to say goodbye. I just shook his hand 36 hours before that.
It hit me like a godddamned lightning bolt, that life is so precious and precarious. LIFE-----DEATH. And way to short to go through it in an opiate haze. Besides it didn't matter how many percs i took the heartache still remained.......but in a distorted manner.
So, that was it for my several year pill popping frenzy.
I guess the old saying that good things come out of bad, is true after all.
well, my friend, that was ******* depressing! But profound in a tragi-canadian sort of way.
Seriously, those are images that will last for good or ill. Better they help sustain your recovery.
Give my regards to that hotty!
.........sorry, honestly didn't intend that post to sound so depressing.
Think i was heading more for the "if you are contemplating/starting to/have given up the pills(or whatever), do it, cause you never know what tomorrow will bring" effect.
I don't know what to say to that. And I don't think I will even try.
You are right. Life is short, unknown, and unlived while on opiates.
When my Mom died, I couldn't believe. Then my Uncle, and yet again I was in a daze as to how this could happen. I am 29. I should have been able to have years left to live with both of them. Yet in an instant they were taken.
It is four months now, and it still feels like yesterday. My Aunt told me that when someone passes on, it never really hits until the 4 month mark. That is when it finally hits that they aren't coming back.
Even though I am still in extreme pain most of the time and need to take my meds. I don't always. Even though I just found out I am up for surgery now. I WANT to feel. I want to get through it.
Yet in the back of my mind I don't think it will ever pass...
I am sorry to hear all that you have been through. In a wierd way I am sorry I know what it feels like...
How are you?? Not sure if you remember me, but I used to post here along w/ Brighty, and Cin....under the id: annie....lol!
I haven't been here in a long while. We had a serial killer on the loose here in the South, and I was keeping up w/ that, and we had a pretty bad scare here on the forum too, around that time.....rem? spook? Well, our serial killer is in custody and things will be pretty uneventful till the trial.....
Not even sure if you remember me, but I think of you all; often, and wonder if there is any of us still posting here..... I figured you would still be here, because you do a great service here, and I'm sure it's rewarding..... How are you doing these days? There were a few others, but I can't recall the names..... One guy was very ill, and had some pretty bad health problems, as I recall, maybe the liver..... was it aj or shoot, I can't recall, but I wonder how he is? Drop me a line or 2....