Are you asking about Patrice by any chance? I am still in touch with her. I have a board with Cindi, but she has been MIA for quite a while. I remember the Spook problem and I also know Cindi had brought it up one of the last times I had talked to her. A serial killer? That must be nerve wracking!
Are you talking about the cindi of the website called pain politics etc.?? If so, I have corresponded w/ her via email..at one time. She featured my story under hear our cries....I think? She saw my intro into actiononpain......and wanted to use it. I haven't been to it in awhile, and not real sure if it's still up. Anyway, I was talking about another Cin....... and I referred to A.J.,but recall him being JB..lol! My memory fails me these days......lol! and I'm pretty sure Tom is still here, but probably hasn't seen my post.
So, You recall the spook days?? huh? That was something else...What was your ID back then? Well, gotta run....t/s
Your stories (especially yours, chezz) make me recall a very similar time in my life. I had just been married three months when my father (who was addicted to Tylenol 4's for at least 10 years, so I got my start at home), who was hospitalized for some heart tests, coded out (that is, his heart just quit) three times. In the lack of anything like a Living Will, the hospital was (and still is) required to do anything and everything to bring the patient back.
So they did, three times. What was left of him, anyway.
Since he was on a ventilator for the three weeks afterward for which he lived, no one knew just how much of "him" was left. . .but his heart had suffered irreparable damage and his brain was most likely affected as well. As far as I know, he was clean at the time of his heart attack -- no credit to his doctor, just the pharmacy that finally cut him off. Nonetheless I learned first about narcotics at home and got my first ones from my father, who I'm sure had no idea that he was doing anything wrong -- and who I know had to have suffered greatly watching me destroy myself slowly in the 10 years following his death. Yes, I am spiritual (NOT religious, big difference there), and I believe in an afterlife, but that's beside the point for now -- another rant for another day.
Anyway, he was 67 and had been married to my mom for 46 years. So, to make a long, incredibly painful story short, my Aunt Mary, my mother's closest sister and like a second mom to me, got a recurrence of the cancer she had been free of for SEVEN YEARS and died just weeks within the same year my father died.
I say all that only to say this: my drug use (particularly Vicodin, which I was prescribed for migraines) went through the roof during this time. . .but the pain would never leave, just be kind of "compartmentalized" for a (very short) time. I will never forget being higher than high, almost to nodding, when visiting my father during those terrible three weeks. . .and still, invariably, have to stop in the visitor's rest room on the Intensive Care Ward on the way out of the building to cry. In my mind I can still smell the scent of the disinfectant they used and feel the cold tile of the wall against my forehead as I leaned against it and cried for what felt like forever.
Sorry this ended up so depressing. . .but I guess it's something that needed to come out. For those of you experiencing new grief, all I can tell you sounds kinda lame right now -- that it does get better, with time. . .but, for me, it's been eleven years now since I lost my dad -- and I don't think I'll ever be "over" it, completely. Plus, Father's Day is right around the corner, and that's never easy. . .I try not to be too down so I won't spoil it for my own kids. My prayers, as always, are with you all.
I remember you, but not details. . .was in early-mid PAWS at the time (January - spring 2001). It was the first time I came here -- relapsed since then (of course), but now have 13 months narcotic-free behind me (for which I'm grateful, but I know it could slip away any time I get stupid).
I remember Spook. . .what a strange, unsettling character he was. What eventually happened to him (if you know? just curious). . .BTW, not sure, but I THINK the name I posted under then was "Pelle" (for Pelle Lindbergh, a Swedish goaltender for the Philadelphia Flyers who won numerous awards and died in a drunk-driving accident at the age of 26, at the beginning of what may have been a Hall of Fame type career).
Always good to see people back here. . .and, selfishly, to be back here myself, and not dead the thousand or so times that, by all rights, I should have been.
would someone please post the thomas resipe...i need the help...jack
Hey everyone! I thought the question was about the effects of Paxil and Methadone together. I can't believe how off the beaten track you guys can get. This is not the same support group it was when I started reading a couple months ago. Please don't ruin this- it has been a Godsend for me.