DutchessGolden

[Mis Take]

I have a big problem - well, to me it's big and I need some advise.  I thought you may know what to do to make it a little easier, so I was just checking to see if you were on tonight?  I dont know if I feel comfortable writing on the board but I will if you are here.  Otherwise, I can give you my email address and you could email me when you are available.  Thanks in advance for your time.

sincerely, '
M

[Mis Take]

Fladdict and Dutchess,
Thanks so much for posting back so quickly.  I will begin those "comfort" meds now just in case but hopefully I will avoid the rough patch b/c I will be going in on Monday morning.  I had no idea that Suboxone could be dosed once a week for some ppl.  If I stick with those thoughts I think that I will be ok.  Yes, my husband and I are doing this together.  We both got caught up in Oxycontin after our 2nd daughter was born and had some health issues.  We had to stay up 24/7 with her and try and be happy for our 3 1/2 year old.  I had been taking oc for 1 year due to two failed back surgeries.  I had been on some type of narcotic for about 7 years prior but only started to abuse it about 9 months ago.  I have such trouble with the physical aspect of w/d that I thought suboxone was perfect for me  ( and him).  and it has been!  We've tapered down a few times and ended up at 32 mg each time due to the high amount of Oxycontin that we were taking.  Throughout this next month, our plan is to get off of them completely.  I, however, should have been smarter this month.  He will share but I don't want to short him - even though he says he doesn't care.  He worries about my pain - so sweet and thoughtful but I know the w/d are not fun for him either.  So anyway, we will see and play around with it until Monday.  If the doc decides to be a butt head then we could always change docs.  We really don't mind the counseling and in fact have learned quite a bit from them but finding childcare is difficult and we have asked if we could go seperately, bring the kids, or anything.  but this counseling center is not flexible at all and last week they put my sister in the hospital so grandparents were busy with her children and couldn't help.  Nothing malicious - just the way it worked out this time.  We did reschedule for Monday afternoon (the first available app) and are still getting flack for it.  whatever, hard to be nice to ppl like that.  The ppl at this doc's office talk to us like we are street trash anyway (teacher and  district sales manager) - so maybe changing isn't such a bad plan.  Or taking whatever rx they give us on Monday and tapering ourselves off.  It's sad that they run a place that is supposed to help people with addictions and yet they have this "holier than thou attitude"  Doesnt make much sense.  BUT, I guess it's kinda like a dealer not meeting you at the time you want or being avasive - they know you'll be coming back so they don't have to be nice.  Gosh, I hate ppl like that.  

Whichever, thank you again for your kindness and help.  Im sure I'll be on some this weekend and posting how things are going.  Ii hope everyone is doing well and I will keep you guys posted.  Thanks again.
Love, M

[FLaddict]

no you won't feel much for a few days since it has such a long half life.. sorry this happened.. hold on.. how much were you taking per day?

[addictedtoloratab]

I missed you too.  Seems like its been forever.. How are you doing??? Huggs, G

[Mis Take]

ya'll are very sweet.  Im not having a very good night/day/week whatever.  Thanks for posting back to me so quickly.  This is what I did -- I had my Suboxone script for the month and on quite a few times, I took one more than I was prescribed.  Usually did this b/t 2 and 7am when the baby was up and screaming.  anyway - there's my 1 excuse for the day!!  well, my appointment is monday and I have none left.  I called the doc today and told them and I think they are going to kick me out on Monday or give me enough to wean, whatever.  Which would be fine -- if I wean, but Im scared of this weekend.  How could they kick and addict out for being an addict???  I don't want those symptoms = reason I went on the Sub to begin with.  I have heard that I may not feel anything for a few days but Sat. is my birthday and it just pisses me off that I was so stupid.  Any way===that's it in a nutshell - any advice???

[Mis Take]

I had kinda checked out a bit from the board, b/c I got a little paranoid while all the drama stuff was going on that maybe who I was talking to was someone else and it freaked me out a little = dont know why it mattered now that I think about it but at the time, I had to take a little break.  I had no idea how much I depended on ppl here to help me and how much it helped to help and encourage others, so for that - thanks you guys very much!!

[DutchessGolden]

yeah I'm here what do you need sweetie? leave your e-mail or e-mail me ***@****

[Mis Take]

32mg (4    8mg) pills.  Sadly, mentally I feel like I already feel something, even though I know its not possible.  I had a feeling I shouldnt feel anything, but the mental kicks my butt every time.  It's like I talk myself into being sick.    Im just irritated that I was so dumb and pissed that the doc was so mean.  He also said that b/c my husband and I had missed one counseling appointment (we had to reschedule b/c of childcare issues) - that was another reason we would have to reevaluate on Monday.  I feel like Im going to Dr. Hitler.  Anyway, thanks for the replay - I just need to stay busy and cool headed.  Probably take a miracle knowing me.  

How are U?

[Mis Take]

Im going to close my eyes with my daughter in the bed for a little while but will check back in a few.  I appreciate any advice you guys have.  I look forward to talking with you soon.  

Love, M

[FLaddict]

I would start taking Immodium Motrin and other comfort meds now.. may help symptoms as well as the mental instead of waiting til you feel bad. If you need anything I am here for you...

[DutchessGolden]

So you are on a suboxone maintenance program right? I'm really sorry you have to deal with a doctor like that. My husband is a doctor at a methadone clinic and they are so hard on the patients about missing counseling sessions and so forth b/c so most of them are heroin addicts and try to make any excuse they can for not showing up, cause they just want to come get their dose then someone like you comes along who is ahering to the program and doing your best and you get "dr. hitler" Since you're in a program liability goes waaaaay down for the doctors and counselors there. Did you read completely through the paperwork you were given when you first started?

The amount of your dose will hold you several days. Suboxone is a very long acting drug. Patients can be dosed every 48 hours or even once a week. The dose is usually given daily just to make fully sure that there is a steady amount of buprenorphine in the body. If you are getting your net dose Monday it might hold you until then. It would be quite unethical for them to kick you out of the program Monday. You have a young baby and things are going to come up. And you rescheduled, you didn't try to avoid it. Mention these things when you go in on Monday. If they were to kick you out for this I would definitely consider reporting that doctor to the Medical Board, he doesn't seem to know how to correctly interact with or medically deal with addicts.You also mentioned that your husband is on the program too? Would it be possible for him to give you half a pill or so to sustain you until Monday without him running out? You WERE NOT the stupid one, you are dealing with a huge issue and a young baby very well, do not let doctors like that make you feel like you have done something wrong.

xoxo- D.

[FLaddict]

How are ya girl where ya been??? Missed you..