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ESH

I wondered if we could try that again? Will anyone share the positives of being sober compare to the hell of being addicted? I wan't to thank you Methman for sharing your hope. I didn't mention, I am an X herion addict and have been to a methadone clinic for a few years as well. I havent touched it in 4 years but I take ultram by the fistful. Not right now, I have been following the doctor's ween. I just think positive sharing of being sober really helps you get through the hard part of recovery. When you don't see any positive, seeing someone else's does.
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Avatar universal
Gina-
I guess I'm hijacking this thread to tell you that, YES, you are in the right place to talk about meds, and Suboxone specifically. As Bmac said, from time to time, we get into fights, and we're actually just having fun with one another-- So don't let that get to you. Most of the "Fighting" is just a release for many of us, and is mostly good natured (even if it doesn't appear that way to a newcomer).

Regarding Suboxone-- It has proven to be an effective alternative to Methadone Maintenance; with the added benefit of your doctor (If he or she has taken the DEA-mandated 8 hour class in prescribing it for addiction) being able to prescribe it in the privacy of his or her office so that you won't have to suffer the "Stigma" of the clinic environment.

I'm sure that many people here can help you regarding your question -- People, Help her out!

Good Luck, Gina-

Jess
Avatar universal
hey gina!

i saw your post asking if your were in the right place... bickering happens on boards, it can be uncomfortable for those of us who are new and don't really know what is going on...

i hope you keep posting, and if you are interested in joining another forum that i started a few weeks ago give me a shout: ***@****

even though i have the other board i come here everyday and love it here! i started the other forum b/c it is easier to post a question in it!

peace,

amber
Avatar universal
The other thread filled up, so I thought I'd catch you on this one. You've helped me before with my quest to see my husband thru his Percocet w/d. I think today was about day 22. We have a small business, and share an office. I just found 12 percocet in his drawer that I know weren't there yesterday. I'm trying to decide if I should go home and beat his head against the wall, or just go away for a couple days by myself till I can get grip on the fact that we're not going to see day 23- this time.  Your long disertation has given me something to hold on to. I've printed it out, and when I do go home, I'll show it to him, maybe it will help him hold on a little better.  I guess the depression has just been to much for him. Prosac has helped- but not enough. I know I shouldn't be so angry with him - but I'm so disappointed and heartsick. Thankyou and the others here that make this a little easier.
Avatar universal
So, i see that your website is devoted to Goat ****!
You actually believe that your dead wife is actually just "in the ground"?
Well, I am so sorry that your wife had  someone like you to put up with for 33yrs. I BELIEVE IN GOD ALMIGHTY! Your wife's soul is not in the dirt, it's in Heaven or hell.
YOU MAKE ME SICK!
James
Avatar universal
James, this is about the rhetoric I would expect from a drug addict.  My wife cannot defend herself and is none of your business, just as my religious beliefs or lack thereof are none of your business.  Go get high, low life.
Avatar universal
Goatman...you REALLY are amazing.  First, you just "pop" into the forum a couple of days ago. Within a day's time, you patronized and bullied many of our long time posters (BMac, Thomas, Mr.Michael, Chezz, etc)....THEN...actually have the nerve to act surprized when they respond to your provoking posts!!!!  You are definitely a piece of work, Mr. Goat, or expillman, or whoever else the hell you are.  As for people not "having a life" except for our little piece of our forum world, it seems more to me that maybe YOU need to get a life, instead of coming into these forums to try to turn things into such a shambles.  OF COURSE, people are going to respond to your bullshit; what do you expect them to do?  Especially our guys on the forum; it's human nature (especially for the male species), to strike back when someone intentionally provokes them. All of the people you've verbally attacked has helped many people (including myself) with their knowledge and kindness.  As of yet, I haven't seen any of these qualities in yourself. Even Hippee, who is the most compassionate and non-confronting person on this forum, saw reason to question your posts. We don't need your bad karma, so Mr. Goat, or expillman, or whoever the hell you post under, I just wish you'd take your cosmic behind back to wherever you came from.  There's people here who is in a lot of legitimate physical and mental pain; we don't need to be distracted by someone like yourself. You've had your fun, so please just go away (far-far away). Lisabet
Avatar universal
Right on babe! MrGoat sir will get his due. It sounds to me he is gotten a lot of bad **** going in his life and he thinks by belittling us he makes himself seem so imporatant and so intellegent. He is just another doctor want to be from a pain clinic where most people end up when they can't get a real nursing job(no offense to any other nurses). He has had tragady in his life and he blames God, the one person that he claims never exsisted. Well he will either go away or get banned but like he said he is a hacker(whew, Im proud of that) and he can mess this place up bad. Grownup intellegent man acting like a tennager again. Sad don't cha think!
Well Lisabet you go girl!  Bmac
MrGoat sir, you see you are even runnin' off the women! LOL
                   Bill
Avatar universal
Hey gal!  You may want to try to call an Al=Anon or Narc Anon program (in the phone book).  It doesnt matter if it is drugs or alcohol..all the same.  They are spouses, sisters, parents, etc of addicts who share their experiences and info on what to do and wut not to do with one another.
Sweetie i admire you so much for your love for your man.
Keep us posted plz,
Love,
Suzie
Avatar universal
Jesus, Bill---I go away for a couple days and leave you to babysit and what happens???!!!!  Don't think for a minute we women are going anywhere......You know me better than that.  LOL  

  Now then.......think it'll rain tomorrow???  :-) Peazella
Avatar universal
So much for your self control, Bill.  Your imagingry THREE-HEAEDED, Ill-tempered god is going to give me my due?  Also, you have quite an imagination, don't you?  VooDoo Dolls?  Ah, but what would you suspect from who can not control himself. Did you ever think that this lack of self-control might have something to do with your drug habit?
Avatar universal
Hey Susie,

I'm glad I found your post -- been kind of crowded here lately.

Being the drug addict (and consequently the "hider", not the "finder") of substances, I can only relate to how you're feeling after discovering those pills in the way my wife has to me, several times, over the years.  She compared discoveries like yours to the feeling she'd have if she discovered my infidelity with another woman. . .she's even called the various substances (be they alcohol, narcotics, whatever) "the ***** in the Bottle" -- a term I still cringe at, but now, I think, understand a little better as time goes by.

I hope I haven't made this worse, that certainly was not my intent. . .just wanted to present something that may help you identify the awful feeling in your gut you must have had when you made your discovery.

As a former avid pill-hider, though, and just as an aside. . .it doesn't sound to me like your husband was being very careful about hiding his drugs from you.  Believe me, when I was an active addict, if I didn't want something to be found, either in my residence or even on my person, it WOULD NOT BE FOUND.  Addiction is called cunning for good reason -- the addicted brain becomes VERY adept at concealing evidence of drug use, perhaps frighteningly so.  Looking back, I think that the only (few) times my wife ever "found" evidence of my use was when I was very sloppy about concealment.  Actually, it wouldn't be much of a stretch at all to say that deep down, I *wanted* to be caught.  After my last run, I very consciously wanted either to be caught by the law and punished for what I'd done (as I was) or to just go over my body's threshold and just die.  By the end, when I was apprehended, not only did it not matter to me which event happened first, I was almost hoping for death.

Please make sure you care for yourself now. . .as that part of your husband that is now being held captive by his addiction would want you to.  I know of groups such as Al-Anon and Nar-Anon that are specifically designed for those in your situation. . .although I've never been directly involved with them myself.  My prayers are with you both.

Peace,

Kurt
Avatar universal
Perhaps your kindled interest in the cause of people's drug habits would be best served if pointed inward.
Avatar universal
Wow! You sound great.  Hang in there.  i have three weeks after 20 plus years of everything abuse.  You are doing great!! Love will come to you, now that you are seeing yourself.  About that person starting all that ****.  Perhaps he's trying to fill up all the forums so NO ONE can get help.  Why not ignore this waste of space?
Avatar universal
Thanks for your support.  Last evening was ugly-for both of us. Think I'm going to take the afternoon off- a diet coke, a box of Russell Stovers and Oprah with Dr Phil should help bring things back into perspective. Then, we'll start again. xoxo
Avatar universal
Sry for coming in mid-thread; threads fill fast. Maybe this is RLS?? THE achiest aches in the knees, especially at night (for almost a week after quitting).

Deep aches, not leg-jerking. Many of the initial WD symptoms dissipated after the first week. Yet the aches are still about.

I have laid my knees on a (hot) heating pad which alleviates the symptom, but intense heat and a fur blanket (a dog) do not make for a good night's sleep. Neither does the knee ache.

It's not terrible, and given others' probs, it's a minor complaint- when does it go away, if it does?
r-w-c
Avatar universal
i slept in the tub. i am serious, there were nights that i just slept in the tub b/c of the RLS and the achiness... i guess i am lucky i didn't slip under and drown! although at the time i don't think it would have mattered much to me!

it will subside! good luck!!!

amber
Avatar universal
Amber is right. The aches SUCK!  But, it will subside.  Do try the hot baths.  As hot as you can endure without being uncomfortable.
Also, try to get out and walk if you're in good enough shape.  I know you don't feel like doing a thing, but it does make you feel better.
Hot baths are the key.  Get in a tub and live there for a while.
Peace,
Methman
Avatar universal
E-mail me if ya like anytime.
***@**** (anyone is alwyas welcome to)
Peace...
Suzie
Avatar universal
Argh, I am so confused... I guess I am an addict, I have stuck needles in my arms and not only that by my legs, feet, hands and I've been arrested (but not on drug charges, had an assault charge back when I was 23, 6 years ago- last arrest), so I guess that makes me sub-human- geez, don't I feel like ****! WHAT?!

Point is, it doesn't matter how you do a drug/prescription whatever (you can smoke it, shoot it, snort it, swallow it, hell you can put it in a suppository (spelling?) and shove it in your ass- it doesn't matter!). It doesn't matter if you have a PHD or your a frickin' janitor, it affects everyone the same way, don't exclude yourself from the rest of us in this *morass*, never over-extend and elevate yourself from others in the same boat.  Empathy is the word. Once your body and mind need that drug, guess what... you are an addict, period.  I don't give a **** about academics, I've had so many drug councellors with 10 years *academic* experience and they didn't really know squat, it was all textbook rhetoric.

No one sets out to become addicted, it's a matter of circumstance with most.  Me, on the other hand I did it to myself freely (early 20s guitarist in a band and you know us musicians... we're a lost cause!lol) and I'm an addict and will always be an addict, I'm no better than anybody, I'm just working on bettering me and if I can help other people I help myself along the way (hell, that's a win/win situation).  Communication and honesty are very important, not narcissism.  I don't thrive on anything negative anymore, and I don't live in regret either (at least I'm working on that).  I've had an extremely unusual life, lived in 7 different states in the past 10 years and been everything from a tattoo artist to a casino security guard and I've met a helluva lot of people, some good some bad, it'a all par for the course.

I don't know, just that uppity 'better than everyone' here vibe really gave me a bad taste in my mouth.  I don't do flame wars, I'm passive on the internet, it's in person that I'm intimidating!  I just thought I'd put in my 2 cents even though I'm not a total regular but not *newbie* either.  And I hate breaking into threads where there's a bona-fide good question.

Best thing about being clean: making it through my day w/o being spung out and wanting to kill somebody!  Playing basketball again and getting a tan.  Picking up the guitar and riffing out, writing songs, doing tattoos and just plain out giving a **** about things again!  Taking walks at night with my girlfriend and sleeping naturally... sleep has been so taken for granted.  Life can be cool if you give it a chance...
Avatar universal
YES!!!I started these by perscription and have been to detox, ct by myself all that ****.Did it any way I could.  I am an addict, and I too am learning to smell the roses.  They smell good( a little weird haha)! This forum, minus the occasional bserrs helped me thru my last home ct and i could not have done it without it.  Read what you must and take with you what can help. And always know you are never alone. Best wishes to you!
Avatar universal
Hey you, great post!!! And you're absolutely right, doesn't matter if you're f***** filty rich or middle-working class, or a bum, drugs effects us all in the exact same way (an equal opportunity affliction, I think...)...smile.  You're scaring me, though, about musicians being a "lost cause"; my 16-year old son is a musician and it seems to be all he cares about...smile.   But I see where you're coming from.  At least you care about helping others who have fell into the same trap as yourself. Sounds like you have a lot of "life experience" crammed into your young self, but IMHO, that leads to wisdom in itself.  Most of the people here also have a lot of life experience, and are very caring and supportive. As for breaking into the threads, "Break on in" - it's usually the only way to post a question, since the forum only takes a question or two a day....we all do it.  Sounds like you're doing great...we need inspiration here, all we can get.  Keep posting. Love, lisabet
Avatar universal
You said 'Did you ever think that this lack of self-control might have something to do with your drug habit? '
What drug habit are you referring too! My addiction/dependence all started in a doctors office just like yours. My habit was letting surgeons cut into my body and fuse and cut away and butcher my bones and joints, so to hear you refer to my addiction caused by your type makes me think maybe the medical profession you adore so much maybe one small cause in my drug habit as you say. But since we are buds now I will just let that slide for now. So seriuosly why do you think your story with meds makes you a pain patient with legal scripts and mine just drug addiction? I never crush,snort,shoot or take my meds other than prescribed so what is the problem here? Oh I get it now, you just need someone to keep responding back so you will have something to say! OK guys now I get it, Im suppose to just ignore him. Now I get it!  Bmac(AntiAethistDude) LOL
Avatar universal
One more thing I forgot, lack of self control?Isn't this calling the kettle black? Once again BRO you can dish it out but can't take it but hey most Satanist are that way, it's called wishy washy here in Bama. Thanks! Your AntiAethistDude!
Wishy washy: like hot and cold or even luke warm. Like saying one thing and really meaning another(that one nailed ja)
God knows I just love addiction! LOL
Avatar universal
Satan is your god, not mine.  Atheists do not believe in any supernatural beings, including the christian god satan.  

Please refrain from spreading misinformation.  BTW, you are making my point.  I stopped.  Put your rage on a shelf, Bill.  I don't think you can.  I don't think you have any self control at all.   There is just ONE WAY to show me up to be wrong.

Think, Bill.....
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